Bonemachine

Frankness can easily be seen as obnoxiousness and rudeness, I get that but SHEESH! Sorry to be honest.

I wasn't being frank, blunt or honest? Really? Perhaps you should familiarize yourself with those adjectives because I "was all of those." Learning to swim is good exercise if nothing else and the fact that the Earth is 70 % water is just that, a fact. You don't find those statements fitting to any of those adjectives? Really? I was legitimately providing advice. Seriously. I'm not trying to make fun of the guy. I'm trying to give him an objective perspective which will hopefully allow him to enjoy cruises much more.

Possibly. However, it could also be very frank, blunt and honest advice that nobody had the gall to give him yet and is extremely helpful. Please let him be the judge of what is and isn't helpful. Thanks.

Uh, dude ... 70% of the planet is water. If you're really that scared of it, I'm not sure what you're doing here. Learn to swim.

That was the old Paramont Story that we saw from the Eifel Tower and wondering what used to be there. It had fake memorabilia from Paramont films. For example the Mirthmobile from Wayne's World would sit in front of that waterfall (which it doesn't look like they even turn on anymore) at the top of the pic. Now it's just a quiet "garden" area where they have one of the weakest haunts: Cemetary Drive. It's sad how poorly Concrete Fair maintained that park. I went on the Beast for the first time in years not long ago and I couldn't believe how bad it had become. Hopefully Texas Giant renovation is a success and they get those guys to do Beast, Rattler, maybe Mean Streak and others who need it.

The Simpsons didn't have as much success or cultural impact as Harry Potter? Are you kidding?

I heard Tiesto (Jesus) is playing at the opening party.

What about Xenu? A $cientology park sounds like more fun. They already have the volcano ride at king's dominion.

Cedar Fail - never disappoints with the fails, never ceases to fail, Cedar Fail.

What's with Christians and not using correct punctuation? This should have a question mark. Instead of three question marks, this should have a period. If I'm coming across like a prick here, then forgive me.

What's with Christians and not using correct punctuation? This should have a question mark. Instead of three question marks, this should have a period. If I'm coming across like a prick here, then forgive me.

As a very agnostic person from Cincinnati, I find this hilarious. I've been to the Creation Museum and it was just ... a whole level of idiocy. I hope they go through with this so I can go laugh at them.

Pretty amazing that it took this long to beat the Beast. Son of beast couldn't have been much shorter.

The entire Pacific Northwest is severely lacking.

Jokes. They're a thing these days.

I'd love to see someone go into IAAPA and do a mockumentary. Set up a booth for a defunct company like TOGO and talk about these new products while placing a huge emphasis on SAFETY ... this time, trust us!

What would it take for them to build one little dark ride? A nuclear holocaust? I love coasters but I'm a huge dark ride freak and I think it's just disgusting that the two roller coaster capitals of the world make no attempt at just ONE darkride at their "theme" or "amusement" parks. I loved the pirate ride at CP if for no other reason, it was the only attempt at theming there. Concrete jungles of coasters - ehhh nah. However, what else can you expect from CF and SF

No way! The wait is really that long? Are you serious? I rode that with my brother once in the mid nineties and we were laughing loud the whole time. I can't imagine how bad it is now. Top Gun was the only good ride I remember there. Come to think of it, are there any good parks on the west coast north of LA? Do Seattle or Portland have any theme parks in the vicinity at all? I know there's Silverwood farther east but is that it? It seems really odd. Now that I think about this, I'm really curious. I assume there were several smaller parks that didn't ever really get bigger.

Kanye's new album just leaked and it's great.

Well the whole Broadway actors thing is a huge advantage. I really need to go to this.

Awesome article. Thanks. This is what I'm talking about, haunted houses taking it the next level. It's just really hard to truly be scared after going through so many where there's some cool looking prop to "distract" you when someone jumps out and "startles" you. More of them should mess with your head like this. I think BGT charging $35 to go through a maze alone is very insulting. Why not just wait longer?

Although it's certainly not the coaster it used to be (much tamer now) my favorite element on a wooden coaster is the finale to The Beast, the huge double helix with tunnels.

Touche. I was lucky and it wasn't very crowded either time I went. I guess the rides there are just my cup of tea. I think Pirates of the Caribbean is the best ride ever.

What's wrong with Disneyland? Too crowded and expensive? Employees not too friendly? I've only been there twice but it's right up there with IOA and Epcot as one of my favorite parks. I realize that most of the rides are on a much smaller scale than at Magic Kingdom and the castle is a joke but they have Indiana Jones, Matterhorn, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Roger Rabbit, and a couple other additional rides in Fantasyland. Plus it has the historical importance.

Really? It's by far better than Disneyland? I don't see how that's possible.