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Scott, Please tell me you bought that hook after readjusting your "package" with it! As for the Tiki Room Under New Management, they should just replace it with the Toky Disney "Get the Fever" version--and that's in Japanese! Great TR, as usual. Monorails rule! Chuck

I was also pleasantly surprised by White Cyclone--a fun ride and really no rougher that Rebel Yell at KD.

The Chairlift of Death was a bit unnerving the first time around--one slip and you could fall into that cheese-grater, chainlink safety barrier! But it was pretty handy, too. Greenland was my favorite outside of Universal and Disney, too. Thanks for all the comments--more to come after I get back from Knoebels this weekend.

The whole "Terror Tram" concept sounds like a great idea to me. I haven't been to USH in years, but a good Halloween event would probably get me there.

More from Mitsui. At least we have Ultraman to protect us from Ryan. More Japanese parks to come. But this is the most horrifying sight of all! Yeah, this shrine ain't gonna haunt itself! OK, you guys! Break time's over! Goofy, blood-curdling terror! Uh oh! Whenever you see the Grim Reaper hanging out with Frankenstein, Jr., that could mean only one thing! . . . just so he could blow up this punk! Brian wishes he'd brought some C4 with him when he entered Danger in a Maze . . . But these trains were swallowed by carnivorous trees. Too bad. Oh, my freakin, ever-lovin' god! Get ready to get catapulted out of your train on Fujin Rajin, gentlemen. Please do not hurt us, oh angry Vekoma demon! Megaton was great! The bear's word was right and true! Hey, a fiberglass bear wouldn't lie. Really? Megaton is pretty good, you say? Have you taken your protein pills? Good. Now put your helmets on. This is kind of fun, but it makes Space World's Black Hole Scramble look like Space Mountain.

More shakin' and bakin' at Mitsui Greenland. "Ah, that feels go-o-o-o-d," says Gao. There's a ways to go yet. . . . that pays tribute to Sylvester Stallone movies. . . . the dinosaur mine train . . . It leads to Gao, . . . Everybody loves the Chairlift of Death over the go-kart track. Down and up they go! And check out this funky lifthill. Lap bars and OSRs? Why not throw in a seatbelt, too? Looks fairly normal from here. Atomic Coaster is one of the funkiest, most intense shuttle loops I've ever been on. Who knew that salamanders were so evil? That's OK, sir! I don't need any adjustments down there! This is taking customer service a bit too far. Oh, I see. OK, you expect us to do what exactly? Yes, don't let this Japanese lucky cat fool you! Inside, terror awaits (along with lots of stairs). Even Dave braved a chairlift ride up to the Horror Tower (but he didn't go in--too many stairs). It is an amazing simulation of riding around in a plastic box while watching blurry computer graphics. But ya gotta check it out at least once. Yes, these cars do, indeed, roll through the show building and jump around a bit. Three exciting adventures await you at the aptly named Adventure Ride. We just checked out one.

Thanks, Rick--I'll look forward to seeing your TR of Euroburg (one great home park, in my opinion). And now the epic saga continues! Chapter 5: It’s Not Just the Coasters, It’s All the Stuff—Mitsui Greenland Another blazing hot, humid day—another blazing hot, humid park. But that’s OK, because Mitsui Greenland rocks! It’s hard to describe this sprawling mass of sun-baked real estate, except to say that it really offers something for everyone: anything any park aficionado could want is here, including nine, (count ‘em, nine) credits: Fujin Rajin Blue—I never thought I’d ever say this about a stand-up coaster, but this is the best ride in the park. Yes, this coaster type that I’ve never liked has finally delivered—a stand-up with ejector air that doesn’t make a man scream for mercy. How did Togo pull this off? (KD’s Shockwave should burn in hell!) Megaton—Another surprise! I wasn’t too thrilled with the whole “ultratwister” concept, either, but Megaton is great—a very smooth ride with a great first drop (just a rough stop). Atomic Coaster—Weirdest shuttle loop ever, and it pulls some pretty insane G forces. There’s no launch. A funky double chain drive pulls the train up, then releases it to roll back through the station, down a hill, through the loop, up the rear spike, then back again. Fujin Rajin Pink—This is the sitdown side, and while it isn’t as much fun as the stand-up side, it’s still pretty decent. Grampus Jet—A suspended coaster with killer-whale trains? Well, OK, I guess. This is just one helix after another (the Japanese just love their helices), but you do get a nice, refreshing breeze in the front car. Gao—What is it with the Japanese and really funky mine-train coasters? This one has the conventional train cars, but is, like, over 100 feet tall and rolls down the spine of a giant dinosaur! It’s isn’t particularly fast, but it really slams you on the turns. Spin Mouse—Here we have an example of truth in advertising. It’s a mouse and it spins—a lot. Nio—This was the only Vekoma SLC of the trip, thank god. One is always enough. Not as bad as Mind Eraser at SFA, but not a good ride either. Extra padding on the OSRs helps, though. Sphinx Coaster—A family coaster with Egyptian themeing and a funky layout. OK for what it is (but not too exciting). There’s a powered ladybug coaster, which rolled back on us—d’oh!; the Blackhole powered coaster (a fun if low-budget version of Space Mountain); and a very good alpine slide. Greenland has a lot more than just the coasters. The Haunted Hospital walk through is a good haunted house with a pretty cool gimmick: an electric candle that you have to hold steady, or else it flickers and goes out. (They plug the candle into a computer at the end to see how “scared” you were.) The Horror Tower wasn’t as good (lots of steps to walk up), but experiencing the possessed squat toilet is a must. The Haunted Shrine dark ride is excellent—good atmosphere, enhanced by headphones (the giggling children will give you the creeps). The Legend of Salamander s a good shooting dark ride with, well, salamanders, bats, and bugs as targets. There’s even a very bizarre cross between Disney’s Indy rides and Star Tours: Adventure Ride (another attraction that has to be experienced at least once, cheesy as it is). They even trusted us with arrows and guns! All this and a McDonald’s—what more could anyone want? Next up—2 out of 3 ain't bad Mitsui Greenland is one huge park. More to come. . . . I chill out with Jeff Johnson on the left and Barry Hom on the right. While Dan cowers before the water gods, . . . Even after riding the Sphinx Coaster, I am no where near solving its impenetrable mysteries. When she says be at McDonald's at noon, you best show up! Here's how Elissa keeps everybody in line on these tours. As for me, well, I did manage to hit the target once. Rich (aka "Hot Fuzz") shows the form that keeps the good people of Groton, Mass., safe from evildoers. Looks like it's gonna be a while. Let's take out our frustrations on the archery range. OK, boys, this way to a Fujin Rajin, or Milky Way, or whatever it's called. Wait a minute . . . And their prayers were answered! Rich and Robb stop for a moment of prayer before riding Grampus Jet. Cmon, ladybug--you can do it! Not with all you Americans in here, I can't! Time to take a leak, at least. Hmm--looks like the cabs got us here a bit early (but it wouldn't get much busier than this all day).

To me, Spaland had a sort of Dorney Park vibe to it, mainly because of Steel Dragon and the presence of an old Schwartzkopf looper. If you like Steel Force (as I do), you'll like Steel Dragon. Plus, it has an air-conditioned Ferris wheel!

One of the last remaining 1st gen Intamin Freefalls. Which speaking of that, how many 1st gens are left? I know there is Demon Drop at CP and Freefall at SFMM, but is there any others? Does anyone know if the one at Nagashima Spaland is still operating? I don't recall if the one at Spaland was operating during the TPR tour, but I did ride the one at Japan's Central Park. Ouch!

Parque Espana, like Greenland, just had a great mix of stuff--and excellent themeing to boot. Good stuff, Bill.

Hmm--maybe all those squid and octopus balls you ate have something to do with that plaque problem, Barry. They probably have aphrodisiac qualities, too. Steve, believe me, I know how much ground we covered. This TR is taking on epic proportions. Mitsui Greenland to come tomorrow (I really liked that park a lot.)

^I think a few people have that particular shot, Bill. Before posting the next set of photos, I'd like to thank all those who have posted comments--and those folks who have just stopped by to take a peek. I enjoy putting together a TR, but it's a lot of work, and it's good to know that someone out there is checking it out. And now, the park that just wants to rough you up--Kajima! Bleah! Never eat at a Valencia/Fresno buffet! And with that, we bid farewell to Kajima. Bleah! That "Fresno Surprise" didn't sit well! Uh oh! Zorb's looking a little sick and wobbly! I think Zorb's gonna hurl! And now, life from the hamster's point of view. Even the dude in the ticket window was cool--in a 1980s sort of way. Kajima had a pretty cool haunted house. There it is! Yee haw! It's a wee bit rougher than Knott's mine train. (Best bring your kneepads and back brace, pardner.) Hey, where's the train? Oh, wait . . . Now this here is one nice-lookin' station and queue fer one rough ol' ride! Kinda got a KBF look to it, don't it, hombre. . . . as was the Rollerskater (right down to its skate cars). The powered dragon was standard issue, . . . You'll find nary a contusion on these happy riders. Shocking, but true. This was actually the best coaster in the park. At least Jupiter comes with its own dessert treat! But looks can be deceiving. It looks like it ought to be great. Ah, who doesn't love Intamin wood? Well, there's an exception to every rule. Hmm--Ryan and Barry are celebrating because they're about to get ERT on an Intamin woodie. Either that, or they need to get a room. OK, which way is the entrance?

Did any of you catch that bizarre parade at Espana? How many theme parks do you know that pay tribute to Picasso and Salvador Dali?

And now an eerie tale of emptiness--Wonder Rakutenchi. . . . to catch the funicular back down. Fortunately, Barry was able to squeeze out of the haunted house in time . . . Yep--everybody had a shiny face that day. . . . especially if you use one of the complimentary fans. The double Ferris wheel was kind of cool . . . Ride ops would flit from one attraction to another--but apparently not this safari ride. . . . the place was nearly empty. and exciting duck races, . . . . . . a "new" simulator ride, . . . . . . a beautiful setting, . . . But despite the allure of a lovely view, . . . We crammed into an empty funicular car and headed up. The park was nearly as devoid of people as this map.

Chapter 4: Cuteness, Desolation, and Roughness—Harmonyland, Wonder Rakutenchi, and Kijima Before we take a look at three more Japanese parks, a word of caution. When using a bullet-train lavatory, be advised to push the green button to flush the toilet—and that there’s a ten-second delay. Pushing the red button will 1) sound an alarm worthy of the starship Enterprise and 2) bring the bullet train to a dead stop. I know this from hard experience (the best teacher of them all). Yes, this will explain any “Chuck, don’t push the red button” jokes you may encounter here and in other site updates or TRs. But at least those who follow will benefit from my mistake. (In my own defense, I did try the green button first, but it didn't seem to work, thanks to the delay.) The Japanese train system is, indeed, remarkable and efficient. Even after going from 200 miles per hour to a dead stop, then restarting, we still made our station on time. We boarded a bus in the Beppu area to tour three more parks in the mountains nearby. First up was Harmonyland, and it was all so precious and cute and sweet and darling and colorful and nice, thanks to the enlightened administration of its benevolent dictator, Hello Kitty, and her garrison of Sanrio cartoon characters. There were two coasters here—the Rhythmical Coaster, a longer- and higher-than-average Rollerskater, and the powered Hello Kitty Angel Coaster—but it’s really all about the Sanrio characters boat ride (you have to see them spank the penguin to believe it). We went from the cute and the perky to the desolate and desperate at Wonder Rakutenchi, a park that, at least, has a beautiful mountain setting. Never have I seen a park so empty, or ride ops so desperate to serve someone, anyone. (They actually seemed to stalk the few guests they had, and were often in charge of multiple rides.) The park’s one credit was the Jet Coaster we were becoming so familiar with in Japan (OK, with a nice little drop right before it returns to the station and some nice views). There was a unique double Ferris wheel, a pretty-good haunted house, and a very sad little zoo (with equally sad animals to match). But what I’ll take away from Rakutenchi was the eerie emptiness of the place; it would be a great setting for a horror movie. Kajima was the final park of this very strange leg of the tour. It was pretty quiet, too, but not eerie like Wonder Rakutenchi. But two of the coasters did seem determined to beat the crap out of us: Super LS Coaster—Who would’ve thought that a loop-screw would be the smoothest big coaster in any park? This looked painful, but was actually OK. Jupiter—Ah, an Intamin woodie! This should completely rule! Well, not if it’s an older Intamin woodie that was like driving over 100 miles of bad road (one of the bumpiest coasters I’ve ever ridden). This is too bad, because Jupiter looks like it should be excellent (maybe if Intamin were to retrack it in the style of Balder or El Toro). The best part is the series of bunny hills before the lifthill—after that, its pure Marquis de Sade. Gold Rush—Another coaster that wants to kill you (or at least shatter your kneecaps). This is one rough old mine train (nicely themed station, though). There’s a standard-issue Rollerskater and a powered Dragon coaster, too, along with a very good, spooky haunted house and Zorb, the giant hamster ball. All in all, a very strange day and mix of parks—and did I mention how much I love the Japanese rail system? Up next--cabbies and arrows and chairlifts--oh my! Huzzah for the mighty spirits of Hello Kitty! Rakutehchi is next. Yes, obey Hello Kitty's edicts, and you will be rewarded with liquor! . . . this unfortunate penguin! Yes, he thought the train was a credit! But has since seen the wisdom of Hello Kitty! I understand, oh mighty one! I would never dream of such a thing, lest I suffer the fate of . . . By decree of Hello Kitty, citizens may not delcare this as a coaster credit! Your brakes bless us, oh mighty Feline of Much Power! We are plunging through darkness! Save us! And all must smile and wave from the Rhythmical coaster, for it is the will of Hello Kitty! She has ordered us to ram Barry into submission, and we must obey! We follow, oh mighty Hello Kitty! Yes, my people! I will show you the way! And all must obey her wise restrictions! Yes, all hail her mighty name! Yes, Harmonyland, which shows us how all the world can benefit from the enlightened rule of Hello Kitty! Perhaps they'd like to stop and play on this thing for a while. I can't believe I'm taking a busload of adults to Harmonyland!

^Where mannquins performed Lambada--the Forbidden Dance!

Chuck, they already have a year round maze called Universal House of Horrors that includes all the classic monsters, as well as Chucky and Psycho. It will be open for HHN as well. Cool. The first time I visited Horror Night at USF they had a "Classic Monsters" maze that I thought was the best thing there (it wasn't there last year, though).

I'm sure the mazes devoted to Freddy, Leatherface, and Jason will be excellent. But will there be any place for Universal's older, "classic" monsters--that is, Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, the Wolfman, the Mummy, or the Creature--even though they seem a bit dated now? After all, these are the monsters that really built Universal's reputation as the "horror" studio from the 1930s to the 1950s.

And now, back to Earth at Uminonakamichi. How many American parks would let people in a playground while some guy was welding overhead? Thanks for reading so far. Bob is thinking, "Oh God in heaven, what have I done?" I wonder if Rich's police training came in handy here? But at least you could flee the vicious beasts on go-karts. . . . and polar bears! This park was so remote, it had infestations of penguins . . . At least you played a part in this "Hidden Mickey." Yes, quite a pickle, indeed. Getting a little "tired," Ryan? The young Fresnonian, however, is in a much sitckier situation. But Tom's daring leap to safety paid off--this time. . . . he encountered a little obstacle named Joey. Tom was doing well, until . . . But not this one. At least the foul-looking water didn't eat through my shoes. I actually made it over this one. But here's the real reason we're here. Not from this angle, either. Oh well, it's still fun. Hmm--doesn't look like a jet or an aquatic mammal to me. How does a dolphin suggest "Jet Coaster"? What is this ride's name, anyway? And, hey, other than the ride ops, there's no one here but us! It's quite a trek across the wilderness to the amusement park. I half expected to see samurai at this gate, guarding their feudal master's domain.

One last look at the eternal void. Our slaphappy space travelers are ready to move on. Hmm--I'm feeling rather insignificant as a man at the moment. It does give you a nice view of Venus. Maybe they should provide arc welders, too. At least they give you these nice fans. It was rather hot and humid in the capsules of the Space Eye. I concur completely! Right, Steve? And it delivers! Hmm--this promises wetness. Kang, you were supposed to pull back on the joystick!

Our journey through the icy void of space (where no can hear you scream--or make any sound, for that matter) continues. But you must panic within these established guidelines. More to come from Space World. Captain to crew! The order is given to panic! And it's protected by Saucer Snowmen Terror Troops! The space bunny's realm is rather high tech. We survived our terrifying journey into the hideous vortex of the black hole. Remember--in space, meteors have the right of way. . . . a mutant space bunny! . . . mutant cartoon space trees ruled by . . . Our next stop, the giant space dome, the realm of . . . Apparently, space is an enormous blue geoduck--or perhaps a giant urethra. . . . and backwards! Boogie woogie woogie! Same train forwards . . . Here's the weirdest coaster concept yet. We ride like Klingons--with great honor! Here are three of them. There are credit whores all over the galaxy.

^I wonder if you can buy one of those Bondage Bears on E-Bay? Derek, you have your work cut out for you. And now, moving right along . . . Chapter 3: From the Final Frontier to the Wild Frontier—Space World and Uminonakamichi Seaside Park Parks with their own train stations were the order of the day—one a port to the infinite cosmos, the other an outpost on the edge of nowhere. The Final Frontier is a rather colorful, goofy place, if Space World is any indication. This well-themed, somewhat off-center tribute to man’s exploration of the trackless void was one of the highlights of the trip. Yes, you will believe that a giant, rubber-headed bunny has conquered the universe! And the bunny has some pretty decent coasters, too. Venus—This was one of my favorite coasters of the trip. It’s intense, twisty layout reminded me of Flight of Fear (only without a launch), and it’s a lot of fun (especially the loop in front of the park’s very own space shuttle). This was yet another coaster with a launching ritual, this time involving the drumbeats from Queen’s “We Will Rock You" (but no "Go, go, Venus!"). I guess they couldn't get the rights to the songs by Bananarama or Frankie Avalon. Zaturn—This is the Japanese version of Thorpe Park’s Stealth. It’s an Intamin rocket coaster with good airtime over its high hat and unfortunate brakes on its bunny hill. The launch is pretty cool, thanks to pulsating (and rather warm) lighting in the station and some throbbing, “heartbeat” music to hype riders up. Fun, but I wish it had another trick or two. Black Hole Scramble—This is Space World’s version of Disney’s Space Mountain—an indoor coaster with lighting and painted murals to depict the infinite void. It’s a fun ride, if not particularly thrilling, and you have to walk through a bizarre complex ruled by a space bunny to find it. Titan—I think Arrow’s Ron Toomer heavily invested in Advil stock, then got into coaster design. This hyper has a great first drop, but the rest is a twisted study in pure pain. Space Coaster—You can ride either backward or forward, on the same train, on this family coaster. The backward cars are the most fun, but “space” is simulated by cruising through a green, rather aromatic plastic tunnel. And, in yet another ritual launch, you have to join the ride ops in wagging your fingers in the air and saying “boogie woogie woogie.” (As for why, I have no idea.) Clipper—A kiddie coaster with “space shuttle” trains and a long, twisty layout. Better than average. Space World also has a great flume ride with rocket-shaped boats, a strange, coaster-like spiral drop, and a very wet splashdown at the end. The Alien Panic Evolution walk through was a great space-oriented haunted house. And let’s not forget the giant Space Eye Ferris wheel, or “Holey Rusted Wheel of Twirling Terror.” The group came back down to Earth at Uminonakamichi Seaside Park, which from the train station looked like an ancient fort bordering a trackless wilderness. It was a bit of a walk to the park’s amusement section, which featured Jet Coaster, a decent Togo with a twisty layout, station flyby, and a blue-and-pink color scheme, and a frigid Arctic walk though. But the real attractions of this place were three things you’d never see in the States: an obstacle course over a creek of rather fetid water, some rather dangerous roller slides, and a go-kart track with an “offroad” section complete with huge rocks, potholes, and water. Apparently there’s not much danger of litigation on the Wild Frontier. Next up—cuteness, desolation, and roughness, along with a cautionary tale of random cluelessness To be fair, this part is pretty good. The rest of it though . . . More Space World to come. "Titan" is actually Japanese for "ibuprophen." And there they go! Lock and load, Rich and Bob! I wonder if Robb had to pry the camera out of his eye after riding Zaturn? Hmm--kind of looks like I'm in the UK from this angle. Now this is the wait time I like to see. This park was pretty dead the rest of the day, too. "Venus, if you will . . ." Nah, doesn't work. "I'm your Venus/I'm your fire . . ." Doesn't work either. . . . or race to Venus! . . . enjoy a nice dessert and burger, . . . And what does one do at Space World? Well, you could check into the Zero Gravity Party Suite at Space Lodge, . . . . . . Space World! I know! I know! To . . . Our futuristic bullet train is here to haul us to . . . where are we going kids? Before exploring the cosmos, proper nutrition is essential.

Musical Circus is worth a visit just for the ride system--it's like something you'd find at Epcot (only with singing critters and demons).

At last, the last of the Yomiuri Land photos. This really lousy band bid us farewell. Bah! I've had worse! . . . and let slip the dogs of war! Cry havoc . . . For the young Fresnonian, it was payback time! He didn't know why or who, but somebody was getting paid back! Uh oh! TPR members and Super Soakers! This can't be good! . . . and Non-German Tom. Some of us decided to ride "Splash" Bandit to wash off the funk of the House of Terror. Here we see the results on Falafel . . . This was the most disturbing Land Dog yet! . . . met another hot, undead chick! Rock on, House of Terror, where I . . . This was some weird show about an evil pocket protector from hell that steals some girls' homework, or something. There was much bad kung fu (or perhaps pencil fu).

More of the many faces of Land Dog. You can't visit Japan without paying tribute to Ultraman. Land Dog will return in "You Only Live Twice (or Maybe Thrice)." Whee for the goofy dragon ride! Why does Land Dog always look so depressed unless he's packing heat? Dragon Land Dog greeted us next. Phew! We made it! Aghh! The volcano's erupting, the car's shaking like hell, and I need to use the bathroom! But not this guy! But, hey, this guy seems pretty friendly. Once again, Land Dog looks pretty worried (not to mention weepy). Yay for ghetto Indiana Jones! Pay no attention to the rhino behind the curtain! Mom, Dad, I met someone in Japan. I know she's an undead, soul-sucking ghoul, but please try to understand. But at least it was near this cool Haunted House. Casey Jr. with one bizarre layout. It's a mine train without a mine, which I guess would make it Casey Jr. This was the weirdest family coaster ever. Mafia Wise Guy Land Dog is ready to whack someone at a moment's notice!