printersdevil78

That's good to know. I was afraid maybe a Jeep fell on her.

^Thanks, Erik! Because knowing is half the battle. (The other half involves guns.) And now for the moment you've all been waiting for... Day One of the West Coast Trip! Unfortunately, Day One was predominately a travel day, so not much happened (except Robb's Earth-shattering decision to eventually abandon TPR and devote the rest of his life to creating a life-sized working papier mache volcano)... but still, here are a few photos to tide you over until Day Two: Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. Enjoy! No matter. Let's make some TPR soup! Next up: Day Two: Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. Dear God, what happened to the green button!? "Aww, KidTums, don't cry. Daddy's just getting a 'legitimate' massage from the nice lady while Mommy's in the bathroom getting her hair done...." Nooooooo! "Bring us some of Natalie's white chocolate Oreo truffles or we will multiply and destroy your planet." "Pecans are rubbish. And Tastykakes are rubbish. And Mini Cheddars are rubbish. And Berger's Cookies are rubbish. And winegums are rubbish. And See's Candies are rubbish. And candy sushi is rubbish. And...." Of course, one table wasn't enough for TPR. We also filled several chaise lounges with snacks from around the world. Time for the TPR snack exchange! Thing likes Roxy's pecans. Hey, my e-mail lives there! "Oh, how I wish Tyler would come play with me." ...and of course, the "Snack Song"! (Fellow WCTers, admit it: You're singing the song in your head right now.) ..."Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus"... Beyond the rules for Elissa Bingo, Dave TV entertained us on the long drive to and from the Santa Clara area with such amazing films as "Shark Attack 3" (of which I failed at getting a good photo, unfortunately)... Do not adjust your television. Ice Bat is now in control.

Just put my order in for three. Hope I'm not too late!

My girlfriend wants to know if we would have gotten $5 off "Six Fags" had we brought in a Coke can.

Yep. CGA park management told us this less than two weeks ago during the West Coast Trip.

Again, thanks for all the kind words. And speaking of Santa Monica.... And farewell to you, too, Pacific Park. Thank you for being a gateway into the magical 11 days that followed. Next up: travel day! Goodbye, Santa Monica Pier. More than 6,000 individual lights put on a free show that few can top (including the silver and gold rappin' "robots" performing nearby). It may be the world's only solar-powered Ferris wheel, but nighttime is when this gem really shines. But the real star of this nighttime spectacular is the Ferris wheel. ...and Pacific Park becomes a whole different setting. ...as palm trees sway in the cool, gentle breeze... The sun sets over the Pacific Ocean... At the other end of the pier sat a huge Mexican restaurant, bathrooms and a quaint little display of photos illustrating the pier's history. Santa Monica in all its sandy, high-rise glory. OK, so I can't find it listed on the Pacific Park website to see what it was officially called, but this awesome thing that just randomly flipped two riders at a time into oblivion! Crazy Submarine! Let's see... that's two votes in favor of giddy, three in favor of "Oh s***!" Giddy to be on a TPR trip? You bet! Unfortunately, the marathon Ferris wheel ride meant I also just barely missed the TPR Scrambler takeover. It was also a marathon, lasting about three minutes... which is a long time to be on a Scrambler! Lots of people chose to eschew Pacific Park in favor of some free beach entertainment (not TPR, though). While stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel, I got to witness the awesome TPR takeover and contest to see which side could scream loudest on the Sea Dragon. "Do it light, takin' me through the night... shadow dancin'!" The park's Ferris wheel operations were a little strange. No single riders whatsoever, so I got lumped in with the only other people in line, a nice German family that was spending two days in the L.A. area before flying to Boston the next morning. Then, because there was no one else in line, the ride op cranked us up to the top and left us there for like 10 minutes until someone else finally got in line and loaded into the bottom gondola. Then we went around... and around... and around.... The ride lasted about 20 minutes from boarding to departure. Nonetheless, these 21st century bumper cars were pretty fun. They kind of seemed like a next-generation version of the old Flying Saucers at Disneyland. I wonder if this is what the new "Luigi's Tires" ride will be like at the DCA Carsland expansion. But I'm getting ahead of myself. No clue what this ride name means. Or why no one bothered to wash the bird poop off the sign. I spy Josh and Matt in the front seat! Totally had no clue they were there when I was taking the photo. Work it, ladies! Wild and crazy helix! I mean, I've been on Tin Lizzie car rides that were wilder than this coaster... but still! This is a very patriotic coaster! And finally... first credit of the trip! First wristband of the trip! I wasn't going to include this photo I took of the ticket booth, but then I thought, "You know, the world could always use more Piers." First park of the trip! Time for trapeze school ERT! Or not. The Santa Monica Pier also happens to be the end (or beginning, depending on which direction you're heading) of Route 66! OK, so actually the termination point is technically one block over... but close enough. From Venice, we took a short drive over to Santa Monica. Time to check this off of the "Landmarks I've Always Wanted to See" list! I'll admit that as we walked past the sign, I caught myself inadvertently humming the "Three's Company" theme song.

Wow, your tar pits and Hollywood sign photos came out a lot better than mine did! That first day was a lot of fun... if a lot of walking.

Wow, thanks for all the happy thoughts! I've got to say that I fully expected Day 0, our Los Angeles sightseeing day, to be the biggest highlight of the trip. It didn't even come close--not that it wasn't incredibly awesome; it's just that so much great, unexpected stuff happened in the days that followed, the sightseeing tour kind of got buried beneath it all in the end. Robb had to go to his "real" job that day (he later told us he worked until 3 the next morning), so Elissa, despite her displeasure with L.A. in general, served as our gracious hostess. It was definitely a day I'll never forget. But no matter. We all managed to enjoy our two hours there safely. Off in the distance was our final destination of the day: the famed Santa Monica Pier and Pacific Park! More to come in Day Zero: Part Two. Elissa had told us that Venice could get a little rough sometimes. Picturesque beach scenery aside, there appeared to be some truth behind that warning. Same. A little walk in the opposite direction took us directly to the famed Muscle Beach. Now I live just 30 minutes from one of the Mid-Atlantic's most popular beaches... but our beach certainly doesn't have mountains behind it! After awhile the beach just segued into a perfect picture postcard backdrop. All pedophiles please keep to the right! No lounging around here! Venice is much more well known for its active citizenry than its sunbathers. ...and there's absolutely no doubt that whomever came up with the ice cream pimp was high on a lot more than life! I suspect all that medicinal marijuana may have contributed to some of the more "unique" signs we saw along the beach... On the other side of the boardwalk, these places were pretty much everywhere, and they kind of took most of us by surprise. In Maryland, drug dealers have rap sheets. In California, they have business cards (I kept one as a souvenir). Tourists and locals mingled while artisans (and a lot of hippies and quite possibly some homeless people) hawked their wares along a makeshift boardwalk arts district. ...but soon enough it opened up into a gorgeous public area. At first it was an entanglement of cheesy tourist shops... After our all-too-short time in the Hollywood district, we bussed our way over to Venice Beach. OK, so this was cool! They had a section of the street blocked off to film a real movie! I had no clue who was behind all those camera people at the time, but it turned out to be Jamie Foxx! According to IMDB, the movie, due for release in 2010, is called "Valentine's Day," is being directed by Garry Marshall and also stars (takes a deep breath) Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Taylor Swift, Topher Grace, Patrick Dempsey, Queen Latifah, Shirley MacLaine and George Lopez... and those are only the people I've actually heard of! On a side note, I also happened to be on Beale Street in Memphis a couple years ago and got photos of Samuel L. Jackson and Bernie Mac on location filming "Soul Men"... which turned out to be Mac's last movie before he died. Hopefully I won't bring such bad luck to any of these fine actors and actresses! OK, here's a sad, sad fact: Kids today probably recognize Jack Black in this display more so than King Kong. On the way back I passed the Hollywood Wax Museum. Though I don't really like wax museums enough to pay to get in, I do enjoy their lobby displays from the street. For instance, Tom was just hanging around.... Check out the historic Musso and Frank's! This, however, was the real reason I hiked all the way from Grauman's Chinese to Hollywood and Vine. I couldn't come this close and not see the Capitol Records building in person. I could almost see the Beatles and the Beach Boys strolling out of its doors, lucrative contracts in hand. The historic Broadway Hotel was also in this area, but I would have had to have walked several more blocks on my bad foot to get a decent photo, and for the first time I started to get the sense that the neighborhood I was entering was a little sketchy, so I turned around and headed back down Hollywood Boulevard toward the bus pickup area. After the Chinese Theatre, the Pantages is probably the best theater in Hollywood for my money. Why? Well, not only was it the long time home to both the Oscars and the Emmys, but it also hosted the premiere of one of my favorite movies, "Pride of the Yankees," and was once owned by one of my personal heroes (though, yeah, he was pretty much insane later on), Howard Hughes. Today it hosts live theatre productions. After a lot of painful walking, I finally made it to Hollywood and Vine. Told you we'd be seeing this again.... Also in the neighborhood: the famous Pig 'n' Whistle restaurant. The place opened with the Chinese Theatre in 1927, closed in the '50s and re-opened during the Hollywood Renaissance of the early 21st century. Though Grauman's Egyptian Theatre is less well known than the Chinese Theatre it later inspired, this 1922 theatre is a hugh part of Hollywood history, having hosted the world's first movie premiere ("Robin Hood," starring Douglas Fairbanks, who later became a partner in the Chinese Theatre and the Roosevelt Hotel). Anyone want to go inside and see "Jimmy Kimmel Live"? Yeah, didn't think so. These elephants are the crown jewels of the Hollywood and Highland center, a shopping plaza that includes both the Chinese and Kodak theatres. Pay particular attention because you'll be seeing facsimilies of them in another section of this TR a long time from now (minus the obnoxious Pepsi billboard). Mickey says hey, y'all! I was going to get some ice cream here, but the line was long, the tables were full, and I didn't want to miss the bus, so I just got some pressed pennies instead. I also would have loved to have seen an actual movie in the Chinese Theatre, but I knew from the beginning I wouldn't have enough time for that. Next door is Disney's Soda Fountain and Studio Store. This is what the ticket booth looks like, for those who were wondering (you know who you are). Across the street: Disney's El Capitan Theatre. Today the Academy Awards are held right across the street at the less historic Kodak Theatre. Also, when Randy Jackson tells the American Idol contestants they're "going to Hollywood," this is where they end up. Mary Pickford also co-owned the historic Roosevelt Hotel, which opened across the street from the Chinese Theatre in 1927. They held the first Academy Awards ceremony there in 1929. Marilyn Monroe lived there for two years (and allegedly haunts the place now), and the 1950s TV show "This Is Your Life" was filmed there. Which star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is the only one depicting a castle? Now if that ever comes up during bar trivia, you'll know the answer! I loved their work with Gilligan and Scooby Doo! Every time a bell rings, someone gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not bad considering she only ever played one role. It may be a small world after all, but you'd think they could have spaced it out enough to have given them each their own star. Well, if it was good enough for Walt.... I photographed the ones of the folks I admired most and/or found most amusing. Again, I really wish the light had been better for this one. Situated immediately outside the theater, this was the star getting the most attention. Speaking of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, it went right past the theater. Isn't that convenient? My dad asked me if I could find John Wayne's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I couldn't, but this was the next best thing, I suppose. Bet you didn't know Cary Grant was British. Bet you didn't care, either. I wish the light had been a little more favorable here. Jimmy Steward is just about my favorite actor of all time. I wonder if he swept the chimneys while he was there. Same goes for the Ritz Brothers. I can't think of Sonja Henie without thinking of the 1939 Donald Duck cartoon "The Autograph Hound." Jimmy Durante cast his nose! Cecil B. DeMille's "The King of Kings" was the first film to be screened here. Ah, but the outside courtyard houses the theater's most famous holdings: the stars' hand and footprints in cement. Part-owner Mary Pickford was the first to cast hers upon the theater's opening in 1927. The interior entrance. And then it was on to our next off-the-bus stop: Grauman's Chinese Theatre! I can't even explain how exciting this place was to see in person. ...and the Hollywood La Brea Gateway, featuring Mae West, Dorothy Dandridge, Anna Mae Wong and Dolores Del Rio (not Lucille Ball, as our tour guide/bus driver claimed). ...Mel's Drive-In (which I was later saddened to discover wasn't the one used in "American Graffiti" (that one, part of the larger Mel's chain, was in San Francisco))... ...Laugh Factory... ...Comedy Store... ...Whisky a Go Go... Back on the bus we zoomed by such famous Hollywood landmarks as the Key Club... It just looked like more expensive junk I couldn't care less about to me. Back near our meeting area for the bus was Via Rodeo, a shopping sub-district lightly themed as an Italian marketplace. And of course I visited the Cheese Store of Beverly Hills. Just because it was called the Cheese Store of Beverly Hills. My original plan was to make the mile-long walk to visit the Rocky and Bullwinkle statue near the Beverly Hills Hotel. Unfortunately, between my hike between the La Brea Tar Pits and Pinks the day before and our hotel and Randy's Donuts that morning, I had pulled a muscle in my foot, and it hurt like the dickens every time I tried to walk any good distance. I thought about taking a cab, but it would have cost around $16, and I didn't think that was really worth it for a cartoon statue. While trying to figure out how to spend the next 75 minutes in Beverly Hills, I walked into a toy store and found that they sold this, one of my favorite candy bars ever (and one that's not available in my part of the U.S.). So being the big spender I am, this was my lone non-lunch purchase in Beverly Hills: a Chase's Cherry Mash! I had read that the waitresses here could be kind of nasty, but mine was exceedingly nice, checking on me while they prepared my order, reminding me to drink lots of liquids because it was hot out, giving me walking directions to some local points of interest and even insisting that I take a to-go cup of lemonade with me as I exited the restaurant. Oh, and this? This is the absolute best pastrami sandwich I've ever had in the history of my life! My research prior to the trip led me to Nate 'n' Al's, a Beverly Hills landmark deli. No frou frou food here. The Beverly Hills portion of the trip was also our lunch stop. Breakfast at Tiffany's ended at 11, so I had to find someplace else to eat. You know times are tough when even the rich folks are taking public transportation. Ah, the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. This is where Richard Gere takes his prostitutes. (Mr. Gere's attorneys should note that this is a "Pretty Woman" reference and not a personal slander of the actor himself. Please don't sue.) WTF? Rodeo Drive--isn't that where they sell saddles and lassos and cowboy hats? First off-the-bus stop: Beverly Hills! This is the building they blew up in "Die Hard." The tour commenced at 10 a.m., and it was a wild ride. I quickly figured out that everything worth seeing in Los Angeles was on the left-hand side of the bus. I switched seats from the right just in time to get this picture of 20th Century Fox Studios. Unfortunately, I was unable to secure a left-hand seat during our return, when we passed the Jim Henson Co. OK, so prior to the trip I did a lot of research and even posted a question or two on the boards about how safe the area of our hotel was for walking. I pretty much got an emphatic "not very" from just about every source. Now, I've spent some time in Baltimore and Washington, D.C., and in those cities, a "bad neighborhood" is one in which you'll likely find used crack pipes and hypodermic needles (among other things) littering the ground every morning. The closest thing I found to that during my mile walk to and from Randy's was this pile of empty Snapple bottles. Everywhere else in the world: "bad neighborhood"=drugs. In southern California: "bad neighborhood"=they don't recycle. I passed Hollywood Park on my way to and from Randy's. Didn't Fred Mertz used to make jokes about this place on "I Love Lucy"? Sorry, fellow foodies, no doughnut photos; I was too busy holding the bag of hot, fresh doughnuts in one hand and stuffing them into my mouth with the other during the walk back to the hotel. However, here's what Randy's had to offer. I had a jelly, an apple fritter and a buttermilk. The jelly was average. The fritter was so greasy, I nearly threw half of it away (fortunately, calmer heads prevailed). The buttermilk, however, came in the form of a Long John and was one of the very best doughnuts I've ever tasted. Ever. Prior to the 10 a.m. sightseeing bus departure, I had one more L.A. landmark on my list to see on my own. Perhaps you recognize it.

So I'm just back from the TPR West Coast Tour and already missing the adventure (not to mention the bad news that my car wouldn't start upon my return--it's going to be fun explaining why I'll be late to work tomorrow following a two-week vacation...). Unfortunately, I'm also still on California time, meaning it will be another hour or two before I'm tired enough to sleep, so I figured why not start my TR (since it's going to take awhile to finish anyway... 13 days to cover!)? I had already planned a mini-sightseeing day on my own on arrival day, but I ran into Speeddeamon128 (Matt) at the airport and he decided to join me. What you'll see next is a true account of what happened the rest of that day. No coasters yet, but there'll be plenty of them later. For now, just enjoy the California culture! The excitement was just too much for Jen! It was just as well; most of us had to be up the next morning for Day 0: Sightseeing Day! Much, much more to come! Oh. Could this be another fireworks run like the one on the Deep South Trip? It was a nice night, so I decided to eat outside and watch the planes pass (sometimes a little too closely) during their descent to LAX. I got a double-double with fries, animal-style all the way. The burger was good. The fries, on the other hand, were incredible! I dreamt of them often throughout the rest of the trip. Eventually I, too, made my way back to the hotel, joining the rest of the TPR group for some quality lobby time. I had been there only about 20 minutes when Robb came in and announced a special field trip. Seriously, there are only about eight things on the entire menu (all burger- and fry-related), and these people were cranking them out like there was no tomorrow! Even then it was about a 15-minute wait for my order, which just goes to show how popular this place is. Matt decided to go back to the hotel for awhile, while I caught a free shuttle from the airport to one of the best fast food restaurants in the world. ...and famous Los Angeles Farmers Market. The shuttle back to the airport provided an unintentional (though difficult to photograph) mini-tour of its own that included the CBS television studio... "7-inch beef wieners" I couldn't eat all my onion rings, and we had about an hour before my pre-arranged shuttle came to pick us up at the restaurant and take us back to LAX, so we killed some time playing ring toss.... From left: Pink's famous onion rings, a Brooklyn pastrami Swiss cheese dog and a classic Pink's chili dog. The rings were pretty good, the pastrami dog was OK (but not as good as it seemed like it should be), and the chili dog was absolutely amazing! And hot dogs must be healthy: Even Richard Simmons eats here! (That, however, does not fully explain why he's covered in chains in his publicity photo. As if that needed to be pointed out.) Lots of celebrities and "celebrities" enjoy Pink's. So does this mean Pink's has the Neil seal of approval? Today the stand offers a huge variety of "novelty" dogs to tie into films, Hollywood personalities, local landmarks and whatever else might entice a tourist to "upgrade" his or her dog. This is how Pink's looked when it opened in 1939, selling inexpensive food to employees and wannabe actors and actresses hanging around the nearby movie studios. Let's get in line, shall we? We were pretty fortunate in that it took us only a half hour to order. I had been warned to expect a one-hour wait, minimum. Next stop: Pink's Hot Dogs! Yep, we're in Hollywood all right! ...and this old thing (much better photo coming during the "Day 0: Sightseeing Day" report). ...the former Darkroom camera shop (famous enough to be recreated at Disney-Pixar Studios and Universal Studios Orlando)... Along the way we encountered a few other famous Hollywood sights including the historic El Rey Theatre... After about an hour at the tar pits, we made our way down historic Wilshire Boulevard and on to La Brea Boulevard for our second big stop of the day. Blub! A little exhibit out back showed how they continue to excavate the site. Random tourist to us on our way out of the building: "What's in here?" Matt: "Tar." Lots of ribs to see here! I call the big one "Mary Kate." And this would be where they scrape the tar off stuff (or something like that). This is what he looks like fully dressed. ...and mammoth. ...camel... ...bison... Lots of skeletons in here recovered from the tar, including a sloth... Hey, we caught the museum on one of its 12 free admission days per year! Let's have a look inside, shall we? Jason and the mammoth (the mammoth is on the right). ...like that one! Oh, I hope that poor mammoth doesn't get stuck... There's the tar! After some confusion at the hotel regarding whether we could officially check in before Robb and Elissa arrived, Matt and I returned to LAX to catch a shuttle to the world famous La Brea Tar Pits. We had been in L.A. for about 40 minutes by that point, which I think was about twice as long as our shuttle driver (who, of course, spoke very limited English). After telling him where we wanted to go, writing it down for him, giving him the street address and assuring him for the 20th time that we were indeed saying "tar pits" and not "carpet," we finally gave up, had him drop us off in a semi-safe neighborhood and just took a cab from there. Eventually we arrived. First stop: LAX! How could I fly all the way across country and not get a photo of the iconic Encounter restaurant... even if it was undergoing renovations?

Time to wrap up this TR with a visit to Six Flags New England! My ear was killing me on this day, temperatures were in the low 90s, and most of the park was wall-to-wall people, so we didn't overexert ourselves. By the time we waited nearly a half hour in line to park, we had only about three hours of theme park time left, and 45 minutes of that was eaten up in line for Thunderbolt (more on that below). In all, we rode only two rides, but we still enjoyed the park for the most part--and Kelly got to cross it off her list of "Six Flags Parks to Visit in 2009!" Anyway, as Porky Pig might say, "Th-th-th-th-thus ends my report from New England." Hope you enjoyed! ...and one of the biggest WTF prizes I've seen yet: Sam the Snowman, AKA the narrator from the 1964 Rankin/Bass production "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." In the middle of summer, no less! ...Captain Caveman (really, does anyone under age 30 remember him--and is he really going to entice anyone to play a game?)... Before I end this SFNE journey, I'd like to continue my ongoing (stretched through a few threads) photo commentary on some of the oddest prizes offered at today's theme park games, including $100 bill pillows... I liked that SFNE had street performers, as well. ...and Tweety busting a move with Mr. Six (IMHO the best walk-around at any Six Flags park). ...Petunia and Marvin (again, do kids even know who these characters are?)... Making our way out of the park we ran into Daffy and Bugs... I gotta be honest... by the time we had made it this far into the park, I was so wacked out on meds, I don't even remember taking this photo. But since I did, I figured I'd include it. You know, in case it's someone's favorite SFNE ride or something. I thought it was neat that they bothered to put so much work into making the teacups sign look interesting, what with the tea sloshing out and everything. Moving along.... Yet another low-capacity electric antique car ride Kelly and I passed up that weekend. We really didn't do a good job with those credits. Oooh... my kidney! Too bad--there it is anyway! Are you ready for some Mind Eraser? One thing that puzzles me is why this isn't the Penguin's Blizzard River. I mean, there's so much going on here with Batman villains, and yet there's no mention of the Penguin (that I can remember) anywhere in the park. Since he seems to own every other Six Flags Blizzard River I've seen (including the ones without DC lands), I'd have thought that would have been a no-brainer. DC has such an awesome logo. Take that, Marvel! I really like how they have the villains' logos on the canopy and all the various bat logos at the base. Best. Chain swing. Sign. Ever. ...Batman! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na... No matter, I guess, because wherever Catwoman is, Batman is sure not to be too far behind! A nice little family coaster--though it's a little unclear why they would theme a family coaster around a villain instead of a superhero. It would be a crime to leave SFNE without getting this signature shot! Hello! What have we here? Oh noes! It's the Legion of Doom! This was the first walk-around Riddler I'd ever encountered, and he was pretty cool, though I thought Six Flags Great America's Sinestro outfit was better. Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice.... Can you name the superheroes all these symbols represent? If so... well, that probably means you wasted most of your childhood in the same way I did, reading comic books. I was really psyched because I thought this phone booth would play messages from Clark Kent or something. Turns out it's just a phone booth. Even Lex Luthor has his own attraction in this DC Universe! Um, souvenir penny machine? You're doing it wrong! "Me am not Bizzaro, and me not approve this message." Soarin' Over Football Oh yeah, by the way... here's the actual coaster. They would have had it in '04 and '05, too, if not for that sex scandal between Coach Johnson and Principal Smith. So anyway, yeah, for those who have been living under a rock, they pretty much repainted Superman: Ride of Steel in Bizarro's colors, added some fire and fog and set everyone's heart aflutter. "Why you not show pictures of me yet? Me kind of big deal." He makes this ride about 10 times creepier than it would be otherwise. Yay for old-school Joker! I ultimately chose "cheesy" and chose not to go in... but the facade still looked pretty cool. I went back and forth on whether this would be fun or cheesy. I think this was about the best-themed DC Comics area I've seen at any Six Flags park (not that I've seen them all... yet). No clue why this is called the Blitz. It just is. Deal with it. And there it is, folks, the backside of wa--I mean Scream! There hasn't been a ride this onomatopoeia-relevant since Knoebels' Skloosh! While in scenic downtown Rockville, why not stop by and ride the Twister? Is that like A&P's scratch-and-dent center? To balance the budget in the current economic climate, the Rockville City Council had to make a few concessions... like subleasing City Hall to Johnny Rocket's. Closeup for truth. They would have had it in '54, too, if not for that sex scandal between Coach Johnson and Principal Smith. Domokun makes all TRs better. "Oh, you have made me very angry, very angry indeed!" "Buy something from us, and we'll deliver it via skunk!" Do those stars mean his biscuits are burnin'? ...to "transvestite" faster than you can say, "Who thought it would be a good idea to put lipstick on a Tasmanian devil?" Taz can go from "mean"... I love the Brown Derby... even if this is just a cheesy walk-up snack stand replica. "Excuse me, is this where I audition to be an extra on 'Dawson's Creek'?" The Great Chase... through the trees! I'm not really sure what this coaster has to do with Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam, but I guess they had to put something on the sign. (Eatibus Almost Anythingus) (Velocitus Delectiblus) I believe I can safely say this is the best-themed kiddie whip I've ever seen. Extreme closeup! Pandemonium? Based on its color scheme, it looks more like "Pumpkin-monium" to me. Scramblers are always fun! Except when the inside of your head is trying to leak out through your ears. The New England Skyway looked kind of fun... but its low capacity and long line didn't. Loop-de-loop-de-loop.... It's been a few pictures since we've seen a coaster... so how about some Flashback? What better attraction for a Wild West-themed town than an empty DDR stage? Houdini--The Great Escape is housed in the Crackaxle Canyon Opera House, and for those who don't know, it's a modern take on the old-time haunted swing... which I didn't even know they made anymore! This was my first-ever ride on one (Kelly had never even heard of them), and I'm really glad we rode without really knowing in advance what it was (we thought it was going to be a simulator) because that made it even more fun. This was the surprise hit of the trip! Of all two rides we rode at SFNE, it was our favorite--though I suspect it would have been even if we had ridden every ride available. All joking aside, I really did like the Wild West Show theming on Tomahawk. Grate theming, guys! I really would have liked to have ridden the Cyclone, but between my ear pain and the 45-minute posted wait, there was just no way. Teddy Roosevelt: president, Rough Rider, conservationist, T-shirt salesman. That "rustlin, bustlin" part must be one of those ironic jokes--Crackaxle Canyon was actually the only part of the park where we didn't feel stiffled by the crowds. Uh oh! At our 35-minute point in line, they evacuated the train and called in maintenance... just when I was on tap for the next circuit! Most people left, but we stuck around. Fortunately, it took only about 10 minutes, and then we were on our way! Unfortunately, this is the only track shot I managed, and it's not that great (obviously). But hey, if you haven't been, it's better than not seeing it at all, right? Just look at that 1941 wooden goodness! Too bad they have to manually release each lap bar--it really adds to the wait time. This was the main reason I came! If nothing else, I was going to brave the pain, the heat and the crowds to obey the sign and ride the Thunderbolt! A fairly lousy picture of the 1909 carousel. Once again, I'll blame the painkillers, which were in full effect by then. Sylvester and Porky also made the rounds near the entrance. I had never seen a Scrappy Doo walk-around before. As a cartoon buff, I thought it was kind of neat, but I wonder how many younger kids realized exactly who Scrappy was supposed to be. Finally, we made it inside! The lines for the trams were insane, so we decided to brave the path to the park via foot. At our ROS (rate of shuffling), it was another 20 minutes or so from our spot before we saw these--but there were six of them, so we figured we were still on theme park property, at least! An hour later we were in Agawam, where we waited... and waited... and waited to park. Had Kelly not had parking on her pass, we probably would have parked in one of the $10-per-spot front yards that surround the park. It's amazing that this place is smack dab in the middle of a residential neighborhood--I swear, there were a couple of houses where we could have reached right over the Six Flags fence and stolen some laundry from the clothes lines! At any rate, we finally made it this close to the parking area after a 20-minute wait in line... and ended up in the third-from-last row of the auxiliary auxiliary lot just an hour and a half after park opening. All in all, it didn't really live up to the hype--though the blueberry fritter wasn't bad. The yummy, free hotel breakfast at the Monte Carlo Inn during last year's Behemoth-Flyer Trip disuaded me from trying a real Tim Horton's in Canada, so when I realized there was one practically within walking distance of our hotel in Meriden, I insisted we stop there for an authentic Canadian New England breakfast. "NO! Do not even try to knock on this door until we've checked out of the hotel this morning! Bad maid! Bad maid!" (I loved this sign.)

^Yeah, I know. I just doubt they would "taste" the same without the Kennywood/Idlewild ambiance. Kind of like I doubt Thrasher's french fries in OCMD would taste the same outside of OCMD.

^The bar wouldn't catch, so after a failed safety check, the op raised the bar, manually slammed it down with all his might into my legs (which I thought he was going to break) and let it spring back up into the "lock" position. It was a new (and painful) one on me, too.

This TR is about a week behind due to some health problems (which materialized during the trip itself), but nonetheless, I recently had a quasi-enjoyable long weekend in New England during which my girlfriend, Kelly, and I managed to squeeze in a couple theme parks, some famous restaurants and a few other neat surprises. I apologize in advance that a handful of the photos aren't up to my usual high standards, but I was on painkillers most of the time I was taking them (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). Enjoy! ...and the park's 1911 carousel, which is listed on the National Register of Historic Places (as with the Wildcat, its "historic" significance seems to be little more than survival). An historic carousel devotee, I'd normally have cued right up. Unfortunately, the crowds, the heat and my health at the moment prohibited me from doing so. ...bumper cars... ...Wipeout... We toured a few more random flats, including Drop Zone... And I'll be darned if my seatbelt didn't come unfastened in mid-ride again! That's never happened to me once in my life, yet at Lake Compost it happened one two different rides within a half hour? That's got to be more than a coincidence... right? Then again, maybe that's why they insisted on stapling the lap bar so tight.... It wasn't the roughest coaster I've ever been on, but it certainly was painful, starting with the ride op who took stapling to a whole new level! I've never involuntarily (or voluntarliy, for that matter) yelped in pain before upon being locked into a coaster. Besides the fact that it outlasted many of its kind, I'm not clear from this sign exactly what makes the Wildcat "historic," but hey, a landmark's a landmark. As a fan of old-school woodies, I certainly wasn't going to pass up a ride on the Wildcat. A nice view of Boulder's final stretch. As for the ride itself, the coaster was amazing! It's just too bad that I got stuck with some lousy clientele on consecutive rides... and that maintenance at this park seems to be somewhat of an afterthought. Or maybe I was just having an unlucky day. Kelly opted out of a second ride, but I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. I ended up in front of four pre-teen girls who screamed in high-C the entire ride, from the second they fastened their seatbelts to the time they stepped off the train, which just did wonders for my earache. Fortunately, the fact that my seatbelt came undone in mid-ride helped take my mind off that. Thank God for lap bars. During our first ride we got shut out of the train we should have been on due to approximately 25 people wearing family reunion shirts who decided it was their right as American citizens to run through the line, jump the rails and shove everyone else out of the way to be on the next train. Instead, we ended up seated between two cars of gang members (or very loud, very large, very intimidating individuals who really, really, really would have liked to have been in a gang) who flashed signs and shouted good-tooth-punctuated slogans across us the entire ride. And now you know. And then there was the reason we came: Boulder Dash. Unlike Holiday World, however, sunscreen wasn't free. It was a $2 upcharge... and came with a whole host of potential legal problems: "Mommy, I didn't know the gun I found in the closet was real! I was just trying to put sunscreen on little Billy, honest!" One feather in Lake Compost's cap is that, like Holiday World, it's among those elite parks that offer free sodas with admission. These machines were mobbed all afternoon. It's your typical Sally Corp. shooting dark ride. Unfortunately, Kelly's gun didn't work, so all she could do after 45 minutes in line was watch the scenery go by. It was around this time that she began referring to the park as "Lake Compost," a name that became more apt as the day wore on. As we waited in the 45-minute line, Prof. Phearstruck taught us how to ghost-exterminate the mansion. Giant stuffed dogs, on the other hand, terrify me! I ain't afraid of no ghost. This was the first thing we actually rode (Ghost Hunt, not the Enterprise). An unfortunately bad view of the ferris wheel--but a view, nonetheless. Hi, Ty! Only lightning was working (or is that thunder?). More signage. My favorite part is hidden behind the guy at the right--it's themed to look like lightning hit the sign. ...and here's the ride! Here's the sign... That's some patriotic flyers ya got there, Lake Compounce! Had enough of food, flats and carousels? How about a coaster shot to boost your interest? It's a boomerang--nuff said. Between the 90-degree, humid heat and the fact that the park was operating at crowds and lines that seemed near capacity (they were out of maps at the front gate by the time we arrived), Kelly and I opted to skip the electric car ride, one of our favorites at most parks. Best-themed Pirate ever! While I applaud Lake Compounce for having an authentic old-fashioned Rotor, I was in no shape to try it out that day. We begin our tour in the park's kiddie section, where we find a long-armed, demented clown preparing to club riders with a xylophone mallet. Today this unique, only-one-of-its-kind, traditional, most historic amusement park in the universe is a shill for Go-Gurt. Fun fact: Lake Compounce is one of only 397 amusement parks in the United States that claims to be the oldest/longest operating/most historic park in the Americas. Insert more traditional Lake Compounce establishing shot here. Finally, we made our way to Lake Compounce. This is all that's on display in that "wing" so far. Coming soon... another random sub-museum on Greek culture! This was, by far, the sexiest exhibit at the museum! ...or the fire axe that was used aboard the "Queen Mary." And bonus... the fire museum is available for wedding receptions (really)! Lest we forget the selection of fire helmets from around the world... Jump! Yep, it's a hose! Not to be a one-note tourist stop, the carousel museum also featured its own subset of mini-museums, including a room dedicated to fine art (which I not only didn't photograph, but struggled to stay awake through as I was on my first painkiller of the day) and the New England Museum of Fire History! Our tour guide also provided us with a brief glimpse of the museum's restoration area. ...and this nifty piece, which apparently was operated out of the bed of some guy's pickup truck for years, during which he drove from neighborhood to neighborhood offering kids a ride for a dime or a quarter or whatever. I'd like to see someone get away with something like that today! ...this pony ride ticket booth (complete with scary clown)... ...an original Lusse Auto Skooter... The museum also had some oddities, like this decorative giraffe... "Come along, come along, to the carousel hug 'n' song!" These giant word panels once joined to form the revolving canopy support on an English carousel. Unlike U.S. carousels, traditional merry-go-rounds in England operated clockwise, allowing the words to revolve and be read from left to right (like an electronic news ticker). ...and even Donald Duck! ...a stagecoach... ...bunny rabbits... ...steer... But this museum had much more than horses! For instance, there were pigs... This is a rare flying horse. Instead of a pole, chains were affixed to its side, and it hung from the revolving canopy (special thanks to Beemer Boy for previously having explained to me the difference between flying horses and derby racers). The one in the back is from a derby racer. So what did you expect to see in a carousel museum? We were about two miles from the park when we saw another sign, looked at each other and said in unison, "Oooh, carousel museum!" More tire screeching. ...and this ricotta square, the absolute best bakery confection in the history of the world (and I'm not even exaggerating)! Soon enough we were on our way to SFNE. Only on the way there, we passed a billboard for Lake Compounce, and I told Kelly it had one of the No. 1 wooden coasters in the world. She said, "Well then why are we going to Six Flags?" I punched it into the GPS, and she changed course so fast, the tires screeched! But we sampled other fine products from Neil's, including this giant chocolate chip cookie... Unfortunately, they were out of the jelly... and the cinnamon-sugar was just OK. The place was small, but had a huge selection. We'd been tipped off that the traditional cinnamon-sugar and jelly doughnuts were the best. For dessert we decided to sample the bakery we had missed earlier: Neil's in Wallingford, Conn. The lobster rolls were a little pricey, but they didn't disappoint! Our original plan was to sample a local bakery I'd read about for breakfast, chill out at the hotel for awhile, hit the Glenwood Drive-In for hot lobster rolls and then head to Six Flags New England. Our clinic trip rerouted us a bit, but we still managed to make it to the Glenwood by lunchtime. About an hour later, we finally made it to our hotel. I'd been having some problems with clogged ears in the days leading up to the trip, and by the time we reached our "home" for the next two nights, the pain was excruciating. The next day began with Kelly's taking me to a local immediate care clinic, where they were pleasantly surprised that I had insurance and prescribed OTC Mucinex and Motrin. That worked... for a day, anyway. Finally, the piece de resistance: an authentic original burger served on toast, just as they have been since 1900. To be honest, it wasn't really the best burger I'd ever had... but I'm glad I can say I tried one. I guess Louis' burgers are kind of an acquired taste. Part of what makes the burgers Louis' burgers are these 1898 vertical cast iron gas stoves. The other part is the restaurant's "atmosphere," which ranges somewhere between "cozy but historic" and "small but grungy." Ten years ago, I wouldn't have been surprised to have walked in and seen everyone in the joint smoking big, cheap cigars--including the ladies. No. 2: Don't come during August. They won't even let you help count spoons. There are a couple of rules for dining at Louis'. No. 1: Whatever you do, don't you dare ask for ketchup! After nearly eight hours on the highway (including a two-hour complete standtill on I-95), our first scheduled stop was historic Louis' Lunch in downtown New Haven, Conn. For the uninitiated, Louis' is one of the three or four places in the United States that claims to have invented the hamburger (around 1900). Back then it sold for 7 cents. Today, it's $4.50... but it's still one of only nine items on the menu. Behold Ted's famous steamed cheeseburger! They steam the meat in little trays and the cheese in little trays, then scrape the cheese onto the meat and top with ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc.) and serve with homefries. This was 10 times better than what we got at Louis' the night before, in my opinion, though most foodies would dispute that. Next stop: We finally do make it to Six Flags New England... though we practically have to park in Vermont to do so. Coming soon! Drat! We should have hit Ted's before we went to Lake Compounce! On the way back to our hotel, we stopped at our second famous hamburger destination of the weekend: World Famous Ted's Restaurant, which was conveniently just two miles from our room. Good night, Lake Compounce! We're glad we got to visit... but you probably won't make our "must return to" list. At Lake Compounce, visitors exit through a gift shop (why haven't more parks thought of this?). Like the carousel museum, they have their own Lusse Auto Skooter, too... only Compounce's doesn't appear to be as authentic. That's definitely better than a giant-ass panda. Hey, they have Potato Patch fries here, too! Bet they're not as good as the ones at Kennywood or Idlewild.... We walked down what could be considered Lake Compounce's "Main Street" to exit. We thought about taking a cabana boat ride, but it was still hot by 7 p.m., and we were pretty tired. Besides, we had already seen everything there was to see aboard the train. The park's sky ride. These slides went right out into the lake! The train afforded us some nice views of the water park. We ended our day with a train ride, which we got on despite more flash-mob line breaking. ...and the chairs were held together with zip ties! This promised to be one of the most awesomely bad shows yet! Unfortunately, the verdict was split. Kelly thought the show (no photography allowed) was pretty bad, while I thought one of the singers actually had some minor talent. This was the promised "air conditioning" (wish I could say these were for circulating the actual AC, but it certainly didn't feel that way)... ...and seating areas that consist solely of folding chairs. Kelly and I are always on the lookout for the world's most horrible theme park shows, and Rocknation looked promising. Key signs in identifying a potentially horrible theme park show include show buildings that prominently advertise air conditioning... The park had advertising set up for its annual Halloween event. Did you hear that Cory died? I wonder if it was Haim or Feldman.

Does this hackneyed enterprise remind anyone else of the "Estrada or Nada" episode of "My Name is Earl"?

That was awesome! I think building my own Deadwood-style park is going to be my retirement project in another 35 years or so.

Methinks I may have picked the wrong trip to sign up for this year

Quoted for truth.

Continuing my summer vacation series, I took part of my most recent week off to visit Philadelphia with my dad. I had been before, but he hadn't, and he wanted to see some of the landmarks. Due to a last-minute doctor's appointment, we didn't get there until late on the first day of our two-day trip and subsequently only went out for cheesesteaks at Pat's King of Steaks... which I've covered on here previously. With that in mind, we start (and end) with Day Two. Enjoy! Having met our cheesesteak quota at Pat's the evening before, we opted for a Philadelphia delicacy we both had read about in different sources: a roast pork sub. It was surprisingly good and a great way to end our Philly adventure. The South Philadelphia Walk of Fame is embedded in front of the building, honoring area natives and residents who have made an impact on the national entertainment landscape. The al fresco restaurant was right on the edge of a major street, too busy to cross and too far away from a corner to get to a crosswalk (if there was one), so I didn't get any full building shots, which is unfortunate since it was a very neon-decorated storefront. But here's a side view so you can see what we were working with, anyway. Time for one last stop on our way out of Philly: dinner at Tony Luke's. Back outside, we waited for a cab near the World War I Aero Memorial. This is a 19th century harmonic integrater. If you don't know what that is... look it up! Perpetual motion machines are always fun. The hands-on physics exhibit was pretty neat. And bonus: its logo reminded me of the PBS guy! We didn't spend much time in the interactive sports area (geared toward kids like most of the rest of the institute), but authentic local memorabilia like this Chase Utley uniform was a nice touch. Lego Philadelphia, anyone? ...and moon rock hammer. ...giant telescope (and planetarium)... Lots of nice things here, too, for space enthusiasts, including this 5.5 billion-year-old meteorite... The Franklin Institute is like paradise for rail fans. Not many museum, however, offer a U.S. Air Force jet photo op. This, on the other hand, it seems like just about every museum already has: a recreation of the first Wright Brothers flyer. Just this year I've seen the original and two copies. Every museum should have a Foucault pendulum. Are you listening to me, Smithsonian? I spy a hidden Mickey! Sadly, Mary Kate still thinks she's fat. To be honest, we were a little disappointed. But now at least we can cross that off the list. This, by the way, is what the inside of your heart looks like. Well, maybe not YOUR heart. Your heart is probably hard and black and two sizes too small. But this is what a normal heart looks like inside. The main reason the Franklin Institute was on our agenda is because my grandfather visited in the 1950s and told my dad about its then-new walk-through heart exhibit. Ever since then, my dad has wanted to see it for himself, but never had the opportunity. Today, we did. "I ain't got no body...." You're on your own as far as the rest goes. Any Trekkie/er/oid who's reading this no doubt already noticed the giant sign for the institute's traveling "Star Trek" exhibit a few photos back. We didn't go into the exhibit because A) we're not really that into "Star Trek," and B) it cost an additional $24, but they did have a little preview display, so here are some highlights for you to enjoy. I don't know a tremendous amount about "Star Trek," but I do know enough to know this is a Klingon. I think. It's also home to the Benjamin Franklin National Memorial. Either that or Abraham Lincoln really let himself go. See? I wouldn't lie to you. The institute is home to the world's first stainless steel airplane. Our last touristy stop of the day: the Franklin Institute. Remember when I mentioned earlier that all major U.S. cities have a science center/children's museum? This would be Philadelphia's. Also along the coast of Penn's Landing: an odd yet no doubt expensive statue built by the U.S. 500 to commemorate Christopher Columbus. Because, as we all know, Columbus had strong ties to Philadelphia (note the sarcasm). This, I believe, has a good deal to do with why the economy is the way it is right now. ...and the battleship U.S.S. New Jersey, which isn't really at Penn's Landing and is a museum, only not connected with the Independence Seaport Maritime Museum. Mostly because it's located in New Jersey. Barely. ...the "Freedom," a ferry that shuttles tourists across the Delaware River between Philadelphia and New Jersey... Rounding out the non-museum vessels at Penn's Landing are the "Moshulu," a restored 1904 luxury liner that now serves as a restaurant... If the Liberty Bell made you all hot and bothered, here's another treat! Patriotic. But have no fear! New Jersey calls on its No. 1 superhero to save the day! Oh no! Those guns are pointed right at New Jersey! "Hey, baby, check out my five-inch projectile!" Enemy ship sighted off the port bow! Actually, that's the "Gazela," a restored 1883 Portugese cod fishing vessel (which is not part of the museum's collection--it's one of those private "experience" ships). The crew slept and ate here. True story: according to an exhibit in the photo-free museum, the dining tables originally hung from the ceiling just like the hammocks. That changed within a few years of the ship's commission, and then went with the more standard tables seen here. This is the ash hoist, where coal ash was hauled up in buckets from the engine room for overboard disposal. Personally, I would have called it the coal hole, but that's just me, I guess. Need to poop on a battleship? This is the place! ...and operating room. ...pharmacy... ...dentist's office... The boat was almost like a cruise ship, amenity-wise, complete with a full-service kitchen... The officers' individual quarters were larger than my college dorm room! ...and even a formal dining room. The only thing missing was a pipe organ! ...a sitting room complete with fireplace... It may have been all military on the outside, but on the inside it looked like something out of a Jules Verne novel! There was a wood and leather salon... The museum's other ship is the 1892 U.S.S. Olympia, the hero of the Spanish-American War and the oldest battleship in the world still afloat. This is where they dropped their depth charges. The crew mess had board games built right into the tables. Because really, what else are you going to do to pass time on a submarine? Until recently I'd never been on a submarine; now I've been on two in the past month (the other being U-505 in Chicago). This is the Becuna's torpedo room, by the way. ...and the World War II submarine U.S.S. Becuna. Outside, they had a number of sailing craft on display, including these small boats of local design... Next we took a cab to Independence Seaport to partake of its maritime museum. For $12 we could look all we wanted, but no photos were allowed. It's kind of like the Cedar Point of maritime museums. Circling the Independence Hall area were the ducks, people's fascination with which I will never understand. But hey, they're something you'll find in every single major U.S. city (along with an aquarium, science center/children's museum and Hard Rock Cafe), so someone must be forking over good money to ride 'em. ...so we opted to take a picture of his grave through the fence instead! People traditionally throw pennies onto the slab as an homage to Franklin's saying, "A penny saved is a penny earned." Apparently the people who leave coins for his corpse aren't all that clear about the meaning of this phrase.... Across the street from the complex on the other side is Christ Church Cemetery, where Benjamin Franklin is buried. But it cost $2 to get in there... We also bypassed the U.S. Mint. Unfortunately, they weren't giving out any free samples that day. Across the green from Independence Hall National Park is the National Constitution Center. It costs $12 to get in, so this is as much as we chose to see of it. And here's Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell together in the same shot... as if by magic! Across the street is the Liberty Bell. Apparently they don't take very good care of their things in this building. The bell was all cracked! Speaking of George Washington, here's a statue of him outside the Independence Hall complex. Supposedly he's the only person that representatives from 11 of the 13 colonies could agree upon for president (Connecticut was three months too late to vote, and Rhode Island's reps never showed up). Upstairs: the original chambers of the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives. Next door: the building containing the room where George Washington and John Adams were inaugurated. But if we exit only Independence Hall, how will we get out of all the other buildings we go into today? ...and then shooting them 34 times. Apparently he entertained them by playing the harpsichord... Independence Hall originally was built as a government building for the colony of Pennsylvania. Downstairs was a courtroom and upstairs (seen here) a meet-and-greet area for the governor to entertain important people. This is the room where the Continental Congress debated all three documents. You may also recognize it from the back of the $2 bill. Assuming you've ever seen a $2 bill. Which, of course, led to the drafting of this, the U.S. Constitution, in 1787. This was George Washington's proof copy. The declaration and subsequent revolution led to this, the Articles of Confederation, which as it turned out, no one particularly liked. Independence Hall is where this was written. This is believed to be the first copy read to the American public, from the steps of the hall in a sort of 18th century press conference. We started our day at Independence Hall. If you have a bicentennial half dollar handy, you can see it engraved on the back. Also, you're halfway toward a purchase at the Dollar Tree. Minus tax.

If you're looking for a good restaurant in Pittsburgh, I definitely recommend trying out one of the Primanti Bros. restaurants. They put fries, vinegar cole slaw and other odd things on their sandwiches. I had my first experience with them last month, and it was Heavenly! In the park, you can't go wrong with Potato Patch fries with cheese and bacon. Noah's Ark is the last fun house of its kind in the world, and the Kangaroo is the last ride of its kind, as well. The Turtle's not far behind. As far as coasters, I wouldn't recommend missing any, but I'm especially fond of the Racer and Thunderbolt. Also if you have time, you might consider checking out Kennywood's sister park, Idlewild, which isn't too far away (depending on what your definition of "too far" is). It's a nice, small family park, but it has a lot of great old rides (and try the burritos or ribs for lunch if you go).

Thanks! It's very possible that CNN broadcasted from there during the Inauguration. The museum includes a full control room and broadcast hookups (which was very wise on their part, I think, considering their location right off the Mall). I was reluctant to pay to tour the Newseum given all the free Smithsonian museums right across the street, and had I not already toured most of them within repeatedly the past two years, I probably wouldn't have even considered the Newseum. In the end, though, I'm glad I did.

Agreed, The Varsity is one of the best things in Atlanta and definitely the best greasy spoon restaurant. Also, I loves me some apple Fanta, and I would trade my first-born child (assuming I had one) for a plate of covered, chunked hash browns and a warm pecan waffle. I'm going to enjoy these updates (not that I don't enjoy them all...). The Deep South Trip was the one I was planning to do if I couldn't convince my bosses to give me two weeks off for the West Coast Trip--and even then I played with my budget to see if I could squeeze in both (fail). Keep 'em coming, Robb! As for Beverly, I think it's supposed to be a non-alcoholic aperitif (or maybe a mixer). You wouldn't really sip a bottle of it the way you drink a Coke; you'd have a little taste or two before dinner to stimulate your appetite (probably because after a couple sips you'd *really* want food to take that taste out of your mouth!). Do we have any members on here from Italy who can clarify?

Quick intro and then on to pics: I had a rare free Saturday, so I decided to take a drive up to Washington, D.C. After weighing my options, I figured I'd check out the Newseum, which was offering a discounted admission and appealed to me as a former newspaper reporter of 15 years. It was a lot better than I expected it to be, and now you get to see the highlights. Enjoy! P.S. For those who look forward to the food photos that tend to be sprinkled throughout my TRs, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I had breakfast at an uneventful local charity pancake function, skipped lunch and had dinner at Ben's Chili Bowl, which I already covered in a separate D.C. photo TR earlier this year. So no food pics for you! And finally, "USA Today" debuts, changing the face of print media as the world knows it and directly or indirectly leading to the demise of newspapers nationwide, placing the industry in the near-death position it's in now. But I may be editorializing a little. Hope you enjoyed your tour! -30- Elvis (not to be confused with Michael Jackson) dies. Woodstock (I just liked the headline on this one). Man lands on the moon. President Kennedy is assassinated. The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivers his "I Have a Dream" speech. ...you're doing it wrong! Um, Chicago Tribune... World War II ends. First non-stop trans-Atlantic solo flight. Scopes monkey trial. Women gain the right to vote. The "Titanic" sinks (with nude drawing onboard). 1906 San Francisco earthquake (soon to be a major motion picture). The Wright Brothers' first flight is successful (story is at the bottom). Hawaii becomes a U.S. territory (statehood would follow a half century later). Lizzie Borden murder trial. And we end our Newseum tour with my favorite part: a display of headlines relating to historical events. See if you can guess what they are before reading the caption! Hint: This one is the assassination of Jesse James. I thought Al Gore invented the Internet. (Side note: Two Al Gore mentions in a single TR? That's got to be some kind of TPR milestone!) Of course, as "king of all media," Howard Stern was represented, as well. This photo apparently was taken during his "Wierd Al Yankovic" phase. ...and "Saturday Night Live." The Newseum also paid homage to TV shows featuring news as entertainment, including "The Daily Show," "The Colbert Report"... The earliest C-SPAN stuido was a rented office in a run-down building. These letters, bought at a local hardware store, were its sole backdrop. Apparently Mark Twain was a newspaper reporter for about 12 minutes. That's long enough to have his inkwell and pipe enshrined in the Newseum. These relics were recovered from the "U.S.S. Maine," the sinking of which during the Spanish-American War prompted William Randolph Hearst to coin the battle cry "Remember the Maine!" in hopes of selling more papers. Getting back to the real historical stuff, this voting booth is from the 2000 Florida election after which George Bush was eventually declared president over Al Gore. The things in that circular container are the infamous "chads," and that white board is the one NBC commentator Tim Russert used on the air to help viewers make sense of it all. I have a few printing plates of this style in my collection. H.L. Mencken's editor's spike. Someone once compared me to him. I wasn't sure whether or not it was supposed to be a compliment (he had a reputation for being a great writer and a real SOB). This trunk belonged to Thomas Paine, author of "Common Sense," which helped rally colonists to secede from England in the 1770s. After 15 years of newspaper work (and three in radio), I've been issued fewer press passes than the number on display here. I guess when people know who you are, access isn't a problem (also, Dan Rather probably never covered such choice assignments as the annual Miss Crustacean Pageant). As a trading card collector as well as a journalist, I really got a kick out of these ancient tobacco cards featuring the likenesses of national newspaper editors (collect 'em all!). I really enjoyed the exhibit on the history of print journalism, starting with a full-sized replica of the Gutenberg press. I could tell you what this is, but it would be easier for me to just let you read the sign below the item. So do that. More commemorative posters (for mourners to hold up alongside the tracks during the president's body's 1,700-mile train trip from D.C. to Illinois, where Lincoln is buried) and a flagpole from his casket. This is one of only 15 known copies of Lincoln's "life mask" (sorry it looks like it's stuck to the back of a random woman--such was the nature of the display case). I've seen four of the 15 in person. This brick is from the National Hotel, where Booth stayed while plotting the assassination. It was probably the easiest artifact for the Newseum to get--the museum is built on the hotel's former site. Apparently this was what all the fuss was about. Seems some people weren't thrilled about the outcome of the Civil War. This commemorative poster (yes, apparently they had them back then) was printed just 12 days before Lincoln's death. This was the playbill for the production Lincoln was at Ford Theatre to see the night he was murdered. There's the man himself, on a photo valdalized by a law enforcement agent on Booth's case who apparently wasn't real happy with the assassin. Its centerpiece was an authentic wanted poster for John Wilkes Booth. Most of the materials in the exhibit were loaned by a longtime Lincoln collector. Now this was an awesome exhibit. This is really the type of thing Disneyland should have at "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln." For our neighbors to the north, it also affords a decent view of the Canaidan embassy (fun fact: In the spirit of Epcot, I just had to physically stop myself from typing "pavillion" instead of "embassy"). The Newseum's outdoor balcony offered a grand view of the U.S. Capitol (I swear, someday I'm going to get to D.C. when the sun is shining). OMG! Construction photo! OMG! OMG! This bombed-out Bosnian road sign was there, as well. ...and a reinforced, shrapnel-flecked Chevy truck used by "Time" reporters while covering unrest in 1990s Yugoslavia. ...a satellite transmission truck from Minneapolis... Scattered throughout the Newseum were news-gathering vehicles including a helicopter formerly used by KXAS-TV in Dallas... ...and a section of the plane that passengers forced down in Shanksville, PA, once they learned terrorists had taken it over. Sadly, this wasn't exactly "history" for me. I was working for a newspaper two hours south of D.C. and five hours south of New York that day... and it was a long day. ...a section of the Pentagon wall that collapsed in its attack... However, one of the most poignant exhibits focused on the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States, including part of one of the destroyed New York World Trade Center towers... Some parts of the Newseum were kind of like a 3-D scrapbook of historic moments, like this victory ribbon from the women's suffrage movement. I found it hillarious that John Cameron Swayze had his own board game. If you don't know who he is, don't worry; OldJJMan and I do. The Newseum also had one of those cheesy 4-D theaters showcasing "great moments in newsgathering" or some such nonesense, featuring, among others, Edward R. Murrow. This was his World War II military correspondent's uniform. ...and an early digital camera used by a "Time" photographer during the 1993 FBI raid on the Branch Dividian compound of David Koresh in Waco, TX. It wasn't exactly pocket-sized. ...remnants of the Ryder truck used in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing... ...the Unibomber's shack... ...a model of a Unibomber bomb used as evidence during his trial... ...the envelopes the Unibomber used to mail his manifestos to the "New York Times" and "Washington Post"... ...Hearst's gun, jacket and necklace... ...a wanted poster for Cocoa Puffs bank robber Patty Hearst... ...the modified trunk of the car from which the D.C. Sniper claimed his victims... ...the electric chair used to kill Bruno Richard Hauptmann, kidnapper and murderer of the Lindbergh baby... ...Klan paraphernalia... ...a smashed 7Up can used by 1960s-'80s Cold War spy John Walker to mark where he hid secret U.S. intelligence information for Soviet operatives to pick up (because why else would there be a random 7Up can on the ground--it's not like anyone actually drinks it)... Other items on display included Donnie Brasco's American Express card (he never infiltrated a mob without it)... And these were a couple of his guns, including one he was carrying at the time of his death. This was the straw hat he was wearing when the FBI gunned him down. And here's Dillinger's death mask. Ashes to ashes and all that. The exhibit vaguely tied into the new Johnny Depp movie, "Public Enemies." Speaking of which, here's John Dillinger. For me, the surprise hit of the Newseum was a traveling exhibit on G-men... or more to the point, the high-profile criminals the FBI has captured since the 1930s. They promoted it out front with a was figure of J. Edgar Hoover, ironically not in a dress. I go for Pogo. ...to this. It's funny when you consider how "Peanuts" went from this... This exhibit was really small and kind of pointless, but as a comics/animation buff, I enjoyed it, nonetheless. I'll bet Jeff Johnson and I are about the only two people on TPR who can correctly identify every character on this sign without reading the captions. And now, on a lighter note.... This poor fellow lost his head! This statue of former Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin was toppled in 1991 after the U.S.S.R. suspended Communist activities. ...but never one of the "death towers," from which guards shot those who attempted to climb over the wall. I'd seen large sections of the Berlin Wal before... The gallery of Pulitzer Prize-winning photos was amazing. They had the most famous ones enlarged with stories from the photographers printed next to them. First stop: the rest room. Even that was newsworthy. This fellow reminded me a LOT of my former newspaper employer's mascot--right down to the name. I smell a lawsuit! The Newseum was on the next block. I had also thought about trying to squeeze in a visit to the National Archives, but the timing wasn't there (and the lines were huge). ...and this Louise Bourgeois spider. Since it ran parallel to my path, I took a "longcut" through the National Gallery of Art's sculpture garden and came upon this Claes Oldenberg typewriter eraser... It boggles my mind how D.C. can have such lush, beautifully manicured green spaces literally right next to roads that see some of the nation's heaviest traffic. Upon debarking the train, I found remnants of last weekend's Smithsonian Folk Festival on the Mall. After driving to the closest Metro station to my apartment (about two hours away), my journey began aboard the D.C. Metro. Is it just me, or does this station remind you of something out of "Men in Black"?

I'm not smart enough to know how to embed anything that isn't You Tube-based, but I would be remiss if I did not share tonight's laugh-out-loud discovery, the Midwest Teen Sex Show, with my TPR friends and neighbors. It's sort of a public access sex ed series the way "Saturday Night Live" might do it. Only it's a real show. Anyway, here's the link to the entire 25-episode series: http://midwestteensexshow.com/category/episodes/ So far my favorites are Nos. 1 and 25. Enjoy... and be prepared to laugh out loud!

Do NOT post those pictures, Big Mike! Walking into the ladies' room is a crime in Virginia unless you're actually a lady (or a fairly convincing transvestite).

Good luck, Josh! I don't know how easy the syndicates have it anymore, what with the shrinking number of newspapers and newspaper budgets, but I certainly enjoy the strip. Are you aware of www.dummcomics.com? It's a group of animators who started their own Web comics site last year. They've gone through a couple artist changes lately, but I consistently enjoy their stuff more than what's in my local paper anymore ("Oh look, Garfield squished a spider!" "Beetle Bailey sure is lazy!" "Hey! Marmaduke's sitting in the big chair again!"). If your syndicate hopes don't work out the first time around, they have guest spots over there, and based on the comments I've seen, it's not a bad way to gain exposure. For the record, I'm a big Kimbo fan.