PTR: Brent's TR's - 2009 TPR Scandinavia Tour

[downunder]

The adventure begins (or continues, if you've been to Islands of Adventure) with a 6 hour bus ride to Rochester, the people on the bus were a bit more diverse than a Greyhound but twice as scary.

 

Seabreeze is nowhere near the sea but Lake Erie was a beautiful substitute, gotta love these cute, fun little parks. Onto the photos.

The crowd celebrates another run on Jack Rabbit, no spines were harmed in the riding of this coaster. But soon this would not be the case. Onto the D Lake and MF Land.

Obviously no one trade marked the name Jack Rabbit because there are dozens in the north east. Rye Gunplayland wanted to relocate this and call it "Jive Rabbit".

Yes, a log flume with no water, I could here their cry "Brace yourself, we're going in rough".

Not an upcharge ride but definitely an upchuck ride, it's wise to note the location of the nearest bin by the ride exit, if you last that long.

"Production Values" the stage spectacular, presented in Awesome Vision.

A wonderful opportunity to win a human sized stuffed toy to take the place of that imaginary friend.

The drop on Bobsleds, and the little kids goes "weee", and the parents reach for another Huggie.

Narcotics Anonymous doubled as a field trip for the Rye Slayland ride ops, though I think they were more scared of us.

The trains reminded me of Toboggan Nordiques at La Ronde, minus the chain smoking French Canadians.

Bobleds was a fun little ride, with the uniqueness of being converted from a wood coaster to a steel coaster.

Whirlwind was a fantastic ride, if I remember correctly, completely untamed by killjoy trim brakes.

Robb indulges his habit of trying to swallow impossibly large objects, the crowd looks on in horror and fascination.

Seabreeze was also the name of my fave underage drinking establishment as a teen (though better known as the Sleaze Breeze). Thanks for the mammaries, Sleaze Breeze.

The $2 store was cool, American Pie presents "Trouser Socks", just out of shot is the Jason Biggs signature range of sports trouser socks.

I wanted to rent a car and explore this little town but the only rental car in town had recently been hired by Johnny Knoxville and would now be unavailable for a while.

Gotta love those little towns and their little meat sales.

I accidentally left my cell phone on, so the TSA made an executive decison and sent in a squad on another jumbo led by Kurt Russell and Steven Seagal. Unfortunately, the straight to DVD incarnation of Steven Seagal couldn't fit through the hatch and Kurt Russell left pretty quickly after I bombarded him with geeky questions about escape from New York.

[jedimaster1227]

Brent, I have been waiting for this trip report anxiously since we left... I'm specifically looking forward to your posting of our wonderful ride on Whacky Shack and our walk-thru in Pirate's Cove at Waldameer.

 

Anyways, this is a great start to a much anticipated trip report--and you know I'll be reading it carefully for any special trip references...

[downunder]

Hey Adam, I have many interesting photos of trip members, some of which I may hold back, unless I don't get the blackmail money.

[U2Rox]

Hi Brent!! Here we are again!!

 

Yay!! Another TR of our Behemoth/Ravine Trip!!!!!

 

There's our Lovely Whirlwind!!! I remember you, me, Luke and Josh getting on Music Express then eating some really good pizza! Me and Luke stuffed our faces!! Good Times!!!

 

Thanks for posting! Keep em'coming!!

[jedimaster1227]

^^Provided the photos are not of me in overly embarassing situations, I'm mostly fine with you posting what you've got. Mostly.

[downunder]

^I'm just messing with you, the most embarrassing ones involve me.

[jedimaster1227]

^Thats good to know! I look forward to the rest of your trip report!

[Goliath513]

Brent, after your coaster of the week updates in on the east coast boards, I'm really looking forward to your hilarious captions here!

[downunder]

Now onto Darien Lake and the first of the Intamin crown jewels (Superman) Ride of Steel, would this jewel be cubic zirconia? We would soon find out.

One last look at Ride of Steel, it was like kissing a pretty girl goodbye but knowing there was a beautiful girl waiting just over the border.

The Emporium in the background, which was full of surprisingly reasonably priced merchandise and friendly staff. Darien Lake was definitely a case for Six Flags selling more parks, their loss, our gain.

SLC = Smashed Lower Cranium, this one was called Mind Eraser, another coaster was called Brain Teaser (though it was just plain tease to us, being a kiddie coaster) - a very cerebral park that Darien Lake.

Why so sad? Intamin hyper coaster downtime will turn enthusiasts emo quicker than pre Black Parade My Chemical Romance.

Said Arrow coaster and Jahan go behind the bushes for some of the love that dare not speak it's name, well is there an actual name for such a love?

An arrow looper, this shot is like page 54 of the kama sutra to Jahan.

Predator, the coaster that made me thankful I don't have breasts but regretful that I have a fully functional spine.

Our first group lunch, I psychosomatically put on five pounds before even arriving, bring it on "Theme Pork Review".

The great coaster god Intamin punished them for their lack of faith with the most fearsome ejector airtime that ever existed - "Consider yourselves smited bitches!"

The great coaster god Intamin looked down from angry skies and spied hands down in the front row - "How dare you question my ejector airtime!"

Man in black, front row, looking down at his crotch: "impotence cured".

Obvious shot but still pretty like a Carmen Electra bikini shot.

Why have a helix when you can have more airtime, Werner Stengel give yourself a swift kick in the balls for that faux pas.

Now this is why Conan The Barbarian invented steel, and why coaster designers are obsessed with breasts.

Or going down?

Which do you prefer, going up?

Darien Lake had great attention to detail, I didn't see a single reference to Superman anywhere. Kind of like some genocidal maniacs year zero, or maybe they had a healthy fear of trademark infringement lawyers.

The crowd roars after another crotch searing blur of steel near death. I call the look on the girl in the yellow "the Darien Fake" - kind of looking like you enjoyed it but didn't feel anything, the coaster equivalent of a faking an orgasm.

Motocoaster, I think the West Coast Chopper boys would have taken the blow torch to this and turned it into something a bit more exciting.

There was something calming and pleasing about the name Darien Lake. Did it make me think of a hot girl called Darien? No. I then realised no more Six Flags in the name or any other aspect of the park.

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Martin's Fantasy Island - 2 coasters, one stock, one fantastic, and plenty of Ninjas.

 

Canada's Wonderland - the park was nice and as big as Alaska, but not many good coasters. The arrow suspended, Vortex was a revelation at night, and Behemoth was great even though the trims pooped the party a little.

Too pretty, a peaceful place to take what's left of your mind off the trauma of Flight Deck and Time Warp.

With an SLC on the landscape, the International theme became cruel world.

How many coaster fanboys have a similiar shot as their screen saver, and locks on their bedroom door?

Behemoth, the best B & M hyper yet, but still grovelling at the throne of Intamin.

Canadian stripper statue, tasteful and polite just like Canada.

Yikes, a Ninja. I called Steven Seagal at the fat farm to come and save us but he didn't care.

This ride looks innocent enough but if every part of you isn't wet on return, the ride op turns a hose on you.

Cripes, Toronto is on fire! I called 911 again but they put me on hold this time.

This crazy mouse spun so much I went back in time but unfortunately only as far back as the start of the ride.

Silver Comet, which provided another memorable ERT session, they manage wear and tear on the brakes by not even stopping the train at the station.

Not to be confused with (Cheech) Marin's Fantasy Island up the road which just looked like a big forest. I saw smoke coming from Marin's Fantasy Island and called 911, a little later sirens and then gunfire.

[jedimaster1227]

You've really got me anticipating the Waldameer videos now Brent... Its been a great TR so far!

[downunder]

Before I get back to photos (and I'm going to focus on the "interesting" ones) and videos, I thought I would do 1 line reviews of each park on the trip.

 

Sea Breeze - 8/10 park, 6/10 coasters, 2/10 production values

Darien Lake - 7.5/10 park, 7/10 coasters

Martin's Fantasy Island - 6/10 park, 6/10 coasters, 10/10 ninjas

Canada's Wonderland - 7/10 park, 7.5/10 coasters (Behemoth Vortex great, the rest not so)

Marineland - 7/10 park, 5/10 coasters, 10/10 for fitness opportunities

Waldameer - 8/10 park, 7/10 coasters (RF II great), 10/10 Trevor

Idlewild - 9/10 park, 6/10 coasters, 10/10 trippiness

Lakemont - 4/10 park, 6/10 coasters, 10/10 history, 8/10 baseball

Delgrosso's - 3/10 park, 2/10 coasters, 10/10 sauce devotion

 

Sesame Place - 5/10 park, 3/10 coasters, 10/10 not being a place for adults without kids

Coney Island - 7/10 park, 4/10 coasters, 8/10 muggers

Six Flags New England - 8/10 park, 8/10 coasters (SROS great, the rest blah)

Quassy - 4/10 park, 2/10 coasters, 9.5/10 likelihood of fatality

Lake Compounce - 9/10 park, 8/10 coasters (BDash great, the rest blah), 7.98/10 Red Sox fan hate opportunities (not for me), 10/10 revenge for kiddie coaster credit denied

Rye Playland - 6/10 park, 5/10 coasters, 9.5/10 muggers

Six Flags Great Adventure - 7/10 park, 9/10 coasters, 2/10 rain ops

Clementon - 4/10 park, 5/10 coaster, 10/10 Matt's mom

Six Flags America - 5/10 park (much wasted potential), 6/10 coasters, 9/10 murder

Kings Dominion - 6/10 park, 6/10 coasters, 10/10 audacious PR spin

Busch Gardens Europe - 9.5/10 park, 9/10 coasters, 10/10 terrain

Morey's Piers - 7/10 park, 6/10 coasters, 10/10 NJ "charm"

Dorney Park - 7/10 park, 7/10 coasters, 10/10 pleasant surprises

Hershey Park - 8.5/10 park, 8/10 coasters, 5/10 chocolate

Knoebels - 9/10 park, 8/10 coasters (Phoenix great), 10/10 charm

[jedimaster1227]

These 1 line reviews have already got me laughing hysterically! I'm definitely looking forward to your next update!

[Wood Dragon 1988]

Hershey Park - 8.5/10 park, 8/10 coasters, 5/10 chocolate

 

Far too generous rating for Hershey's chocolate. One of the worst products to build an empire, besides McDonalds

[downunder]

^Agreed, on the chocolate, it is crap, we have so much better mass market chocolate downunder.

 

I forgot one for Hershey: The Chocolate Ride -5000/10 (yes, that's negative), I want to sue for the pain and annoyance that ride caused me.

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Marineland - what can I say about this place?

 

If you want to go there, start training now, and train hard. I'm talking scoff a half dozen raw eggs at 5am in the morning (Rocky style) and run to the other end of your city and back, every day (do it twice if you live a small city).

Sponsored by Kodak film you may have noticed, either Canadians haven't discovered digital cameras or that sponsorship is the least lucrative in history.

The bears seemed happy that someone made the effort to walk the 20 miles to come see them. They were also disappointed that we were now all too skinny to make a decent meal.

Architecturally, this place was all castles and dragons, like a recurring theme park. I can assure you this ride wasn't worth the ten mile hike.

Marineland has a double meaning, aquatic and military. The vast expanses of emptiness are used for Marine training after close, "I don't know what I've been told, I can't believe Marineland doesn't fold".

Finding the Killer Whale exhibit was like trying to find a patch of concrete in the middle of the Sahara. In the winter offseason, the whales are loaned to the eskimo's theme park Six Flags Over Igloos. The whales provide the marine equivalent of pony rides for the kids, the lack of lawyers in those parts mean the whales can get away with eating some of the kids without getting sued.

After Dragon Mountain, there's S & S hill, to some less fit members of the group - this was their Iwo Jima.

One of the funniest things about TPR trips is the complete and utter disregard for anything, however spectacular (like Niagara Falls), that doesn't involve coasters. It's like "f*** the falls, there's 2 credits dead ahead". On the flipside, regular tours wouldn't even acknowlegdge the existence of parks, but there's lots more girls and if you don't mention coasters you might go alright.

Dragon Mountain according to the Marineland website is the largest steel coaster in the world. I don't think their PR department gets out that much.

Dragon Mountain is a funny ride, not the greatest coaster but one hell of an adventure. I came back with a headache, a smile, and a mouthful of tree branches.

Behind the dragon's yawn, there was coaster porn in the making, with master pornographer Robb orchestrating proceedings.

This is a set from the new movie by Ang Lee "Exhausted Geeks, Yawning Dragon" - a combined sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Brokeback Mountain. So what's behind the yawn?

They should have a caption writing comp for this one, my interpretation of this sign was, if you are not Robin Hood, the Pied Piper or the lead singer of Jethro Tull - climb all you want.

This place is like an Orienteering Wet Dream, 5 miles ESE Killer Whales, 10 miles WNW Kiddie coaster, and so on. Now it was time to find Dragon Mountain, which was a quest so epic it would make the Crusades look like a trip to the local fish and chips shop.

More Canadian pleasantness, I bet even the muggers are polite - "you were such a nice victim, I'll only shoot you in one kneecap" gunshot "Have a nice day, hope you have speedy recovery".

[Fry]

 

HAHA, WHERE was that? That park was so huge, but I thought we covered all the rides parts. Apparently not!

 

Hehe, PTR made me giggle, look forward to more.

[Goliath513]

So much to say, but this says it all!

 

 

Clementon - 10/10 Matt's mom

[downunder]

^Matt's Mom was awesome, she was the nicest.

 

My top ten coasters from the trip - part 1:

 

1. Phoenix - think the last drop of Cyclops (Mt O) in the back row, for the entire ride. This is what coasters should be like, a near death expereience with a buzz bar a foot above your legs barely keeping you in - 10/10.

 

2. Boulder Dash - the terrain, the darkness, an intense ride from start to finish. The flat trajectory of the bunny hops means you are flying the whole time - 10/10.

 

3. El Toro - the first drop, 2 camel backs and the crossover hill are possibly the most intense moments on a coaster. Though the rest of the ride paled by comparison, has the best WTF bits but at #3 because it doesn't deliver for the entire ride like the top 2 - 9.5/10.

 

4. Superman Ride of Steel - The New England one, was a bit more like Clark Kent during our visit, still great but has been better. Hopefully the makeover will arrest this great ride's decline - 9/10.

 

5.Behemoth - well behind Intamin but still a great ride, tons of floater air though the trims toned things down a little. If only an Intamin had this coasters layout - 8.5/10.

 

Continued on page 3...

[Mike Austin]

Hey Adam, I have many interesting photos of trip members, some of which I may hold back, unless I don't get the blackmail money.

 

Hmmm.... What's your address again?

 

Loving the captions Brent.

[downunder]

Top Ten Coasters continued:

 

6. Ravine Flyer II - woodies really do come out when it gets dark, positively limp in the afternoon but come nighfall it was a case of unleash the fury. This was like an out of control go-kart ride to hell and back.

 

7. Ride of Steel (Darien Lake) - this maybe the poor cousin to the New England one, but it's like Steve Jobs being Bill Gates poor cousin, still a great ride. Plenty of airtime, though the both helix sections seemed uneccessary.

 

8. Nitro - another poor relative, this time to Behemoth, if I recall correctly at least this one wasn't trimmed on the camel backs though the mid course slows things down a bit.

 

9. Vortex (Canadas Wonderland) - sometimes it isn't just wood that comes out at night, mild one in daylight and a total werewolf like transformation at night. Really shows what a good Arrow suspended can do when completely out of control - the cars were still swinging like crazy when we hit the brake run.

 

10. Griffon - my first dive machine, was a lot of fun but not mind blowing, I think they should do more. Great looking but lacks personality, damn, why can't I keep my love life out of this.

 

Next up - Waldameer PTR.

[jedimaster1227]

^Ravin Flyer II gave us a great ERT session but I didn't think it was that fantastic of a ride compared to Boulder Dash, El Toro or Phoenix. But, to each his own...

 

As for Ride of Steel (Darien Lake), I prefered it over its New England cousin just because of the sheer amount of airtime delivered in the first drop alone. New England's ride didn't give me nearly as much in the first half as it did in the second half.

 

Anyways, this has been another great addition, but you have me anticipating your next update greatly, considering it involves a certain set of walk throughs and rides on Whacky Shack and Pirates Cove...

[PKI Jizzman]

^Agreed, on the chocolate, it is crap, we have so much better mass market chocolate downunder.

 

I forgot one for Hershey: The Chocolate Ride -5000/10 (yes, that's negative), I want to sue for the pain and annoyance that ride caused me.

 

Cadbury's....Tim Tams....

[Wood Dragon 1988]

Wow, surprised Apollo's isn't in the top ten there. Thought it was better than both Behemoth and Nitro, but to each his own.

 

Definitely agree with your top coaster though

[downunder]

^I've only ridden Apollo on the tour and I thought it was pretty average that day, mainly due to the trims - it seemed very forceless, maybe it got better at night but I didn't ride it after dark.

 

^^PKI ManJZ, I have Caramello Koalas and Violet Crumbles in the fridge right now - mmmm, Australia has so much good indigenous chocolate. I think Hershey has a Microsoft like stranglehold on chocolate market in the USA and robs you of having great chococlate.

 

^^^Adam, Ravine Flyer II was #6, the top 5 are on the previous page, Phoenix was # 1, Dash was # 2, Toro #3. With the videos, I still need something to edit them with, I think they are a bit over the streaming limit, and I don't know if saying s*** is allowable but I'll see what I can do.