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Personally, I think they should've went with Disney's Des Moines Studios. Now that would be unique. "And now the Imagineers of Disney will work their magic, and transport guests to the magical splendor that is Des Moines! Yes, the movie-making capital of the Midwest is now in Central Florida!" Put that in your wand a stick it where the sun don't shine, Harry Potter land at IOA!

^^Euroburg got caught with its pants down a few years ago when a big thunderstorm blew in over the James River. Lightning struck a tree next to the Loch Ness Monster; the tree toppled into a train full of people rounding the bend before the first lifthill, ripping a big gash in most of the cars. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt. Since then they've been more careful.

"Those who'd cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side they see!" I have often cursed the concrete expanses at Water Country USA (at least they hose them down from time to time).

I think an infinite number of drunken, crack-addicted chimps writing with chisels on stone tablets could come up with a better list than this.

Singling out Great Adventure's Great American Scream Machine but not El Toro? Trip Advisor's gonna get sued for encouraging people to ride that concussion-causing pile of crap.

^I think you're on to something here. Derek, you could have "stringers" all over the country performing this valuable service for people. I'll take the KD-Euroburg territory.

Florida's Mansion needed some serious love. These upgrades should put it over DL's again.

Congratulations on experiencing Deja Vu. I have yet to even see a Deja Vu, much less experience it.

^Yes, the utter anguish in the poor lad's face! He is trapped in the icy grip of despair! Or his corn dog is coming back on him. The two looks are quite similar.

Going to all the trouble of creating multiple accounts just to harrass the site makes this chap the saddest and most pathetic person of all. Really, it isn't worth the effort to hate him. We should simply pass the hat to raise enough money to buy him a goldfish so that he may have another source of amusement. I really just pity him.

^I know that Erik was alive as of two weekends ago, when I hung out with him at AK and Disney-MGM. Unless I was with Zombie Erik!

Dude, you can't steal that baby Jesus. It's all part of one large piece of concrete. You'd have to steal Mary along with baby Jesus, and I don't think you've been working out quite that much. I don't care if it rains or freezes, 'Long as I go my concrete Jesus . . .

I have got to check out Indiana one of these days; you know, before TPR, I doubt that I ever would've made that statement (mainly out of pure ignorance). Glad you had a good time!

I'm sure the feeling is mutual, Barry!

I'd have to go with Steel Force (fairly smooth, with a good Helix of Death), followed by either Talon or Laser (it's a tough call for me there). I liked their log ride quite a bit (especially how it follows the terrain). The next time I visit the place I'll definitely check out the water park--it looked pretty good. I'm with Elissa in that it's a good "stopover" park (nice to visit if you're also going to Knoebels or Hershey).

Looks like Terrance is going to get coal in his stocking this year--but Holidog was definitely into it. Great stuff--looks like I'll have to do an Indiana trip next year. See you at Kennywood, folks.

^After I get back from Japan, the Far East is yours, baby! Assuming that my grant application is accepted.

Second Cousin of the Son of the Uncle of Epcot by Day, MK by Night After being thoroughly scanned by Epcot's elite squad of Robotic Securo-Bunnies, our daring duo gained access to the Monorail and the Magic Kingdom. Thanks for reading! We managed to beat the rush of people out following Spectromagic. He was so refreshed by his nap at the American Adventure that he was ready to tackle the Hall of Presidents. . . . and nearly being bitten by a vicious jumping tarantula in the Jungle Cruise queue. . . . checking out Mickey's Philharmagic (his favorite of the three 3D flicks he saw), . . . By taking a spin on the OK version of Pooh, . . . BTW, it was also Ward's birthday! And how did he celebrate? It was nice to see the park lit up after dark. But we didn't venture into the "Nexus of Suck." Ward hadn't planned on hitting MK this trip, but we did so well at Epcot, we decided to go for it. Aw, that castle ain't so big!

Son of the Uncle of Epcot by Day, MK by Night When last we left our intrepid Bros, Campbell, they were in Mexico, sipping a hot beverage from an aquatic fowl's abdomen . . . One of Disney's patented, robotic spy bunnies bids us a fond farewell. Next, we finish our weekend at MK. Hmm--my worst suspicions about Figment are confirmed! He is truly the Horned One! Back to hell, you pink devil! . . . only to find that something really stinks. Ward is so psyched about taking a Journey into Imagination . . . "Fishy, fishy, fishy, fish!" Name the movie. "He is a most el-u-u-u-u-sive fish!" "I wonder where that fish could be?" Will Ward ever find Nemo? . . . Tons 'o' Fun? Time for a bit of shopping at Mouse Gear. Hey, is that a ladle in your pocket, or are you just anticipating . . . And that it often rains French fries in Morrocco? You learn so much at Epcot. For example, did you know that the UK has a special "Mc Signal" to call Ronald McDonald to save the country from the wily Hamburgular? Yes, Campbell San! The really big super happy drum is calling you! Is it time for Japan yet? . . . and I checked out presidential talking action figures. Too bad they didn't have Millard Fillmore. We checked out the American Adventure, where Ward was able to catch a nice nap . . . The Soarin' building owns Canaba! OK, this guy gets my vote for creepiest street performer at Epcot. He sort of looks like a cross-eyed Nicholas Cage. Mein Gott! Run, Soren! There is a giant in the woods! Hmm--must be Oktoberfest. We ambled by the cool model train set near Germany. The Chinese circlevision theatre doesn't look half bad with that tarp--why bother painting it? The weather was rather Norwegian while we were there. Ward is distressed to learn that the five-minute film at the exit of Maelstrom has been replaced with a 90-minute lecture on how to pickle herring. "Out in the sea in a great big boat and I'm the one who beats the drum in time." Can you name the artist and the song? (It's kind of obscure.) "Knut's my name and here I float . . . Mmm--good coffee! Now off to Norway! "I am a Viking of some note . . .

Epcot by Day, MK by Night If it's Sunday, it must be Epcot! Yes, Epcot! 1970s Tomorrowland on mega-steroids, with some international flair and a touch of Vegas for good measure (only without strippers, slot machines, or roulette wheels--just re-creations of different countries for the purposes of eating and shopping). Yes, Epcot--where, if you're not careful, you just might learn something while you're having a good time. I kid the park, but I like it quite a bit. There was a lot that was new to Ward, and we covered that and then some--even though the park was quite busy. Mission: Space was the biggest hit for him (but not for the poor woman we saw with her head between her knees as we exited from our second ride), and he especially liked Soarin' in the front row. (Yes, even though he comes from California, he's never been to DCA.) We both agreed that the "new" Gran Fiesta Tour in the Mexico pavillon was OK, if your idea of relaxing is floating around in a boat and watching cartoons. I'll let the pictures tell the rest of the story. PS--the SpellCheck recommends "sarin" for "soarin'," thus proving that the ride is a gas. . . . and drink coffee from a duck's butt. More to come. We've come to ride boats, watch cartoons, . . . Welcome to Mexico--one of the most pleasant spots in Epcot, IMHO. A bold bird harasses guests at the outdoor Mexican restaurant. Morocco was the first restaurant I ever ate at in Epcot, back in the late 1990s. I was drawn in by a very attractive hostess and ended up liking the food a lot. Time to stroll around World Showcase. Wave to Paul in Canaba, folks! Water flowing uphill? How do they do it? I shall go mad, I tell you! Stark raving mad! The Imagination Institute--home of an OK 3D movie based on a movie no one cares about anymore and the "second greatest ride in the history of the universe." Sheesh! Even melons have to have a "magical Disney day." This is for Rich (coaster05) and Mel (funkybadger)--dragon fruit! They even have mesh jockstraps for big pumpkins. We checked out Living with the Land, where Disney botanists have made terrific advances in the field of sexually suggestive vegetables and fruits. (I had to reduce this picture for TPR--it was just too big.) Purty music, purty lights, and purty safety instructions from Patrick Warburton--what's not to like? (Actually, I kind of like the hangar motif at DCA a bit better, but that's probably just me.) Time to go "oarin'." So grab a paddle Ward, and check out that state you just flew in from a few days ago! "Quite yer bellyachin' and get your butt in that pod, punk!" Gulp! Yes, Mr. Sinise! Right away! I dunno--looks awful cramped in there. And doesn't it like, spin, or something? I seem to recall a sign or two about that. And now, Ward's favorite--Mission: Sinise! Hmm--somebody forgot to put their face on this morning. Here's what happens when Test Track breaks down--you can snag a picture of a car as it slo-o-o-o-wly ambles by. This added about 15 minutes or so to the wait. Yeah, it's like Spike Jones on crack! At least it's sort of muffled in here. God, this techno queue music is giving me a freakin' headache! We fast-passed Soarin', which already had a 40-minute wait, thanks to it being an early-entry day for resort guests, and rode Test Track. Ward thought the first half was "hokey," but that it built to a good finish. Epcot's "de-wandification" continues; I assume it's curtains for the twinkly stars, too.

A Day at Animal Kingdom, a Night at Disney-MGM 3: First Blood 2 After doing all we wanted to do at Animal Kingdom, we decided to spend the evening at the Studios for the Tower of Terror and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster. Again, this is all new stuff to Ward. We rode each one, thanks to fast passes and Fantasmic, three or four times that night. RnR seemed a bit rougher to me than usual, but was still a great ride (even by the legendary standards of Vekoma). And, hey, ToT is ToT. Well, that's a wrap from Disney-MGM (/Pixar?). More to come from Epcot (after I have some dinner). Like the Chesire Cat, the Hollywood Tower Hotel disappears, leaving only its "smile" behind. (Photo by Erik Johnson) You know, I don't think the elevator is the only thing that's "out of order" around here. We freezin' in this parking garage now--but we still bad! That's right, we bad! . . . the "Good" Tower of Terror! (Photo by Erik Johnson) Erik seems unconcerned about the horror that awaits us in . . . Somewhere back there is the Chinese Theatre. Once Disney finishes with Epcot's wand, they should send the crane and wrecking crew down here. And we're all still a wee bit soaked, thanks to the wrath of Kali!

There's a limited number of Gold Flash Passes, so you should get to SFGA early to make sure you can snag one. If you want to check out SFA (which has two very-good-to-excellent woodies) you can take the DC Metro Blue Line, then grab a bus at the Addison Road station (there are directions on SFA Web site), if you don't feel like driving.

A Day at the Animal Kingdom, a Night at Disney-MGM 2: Electric Boogaloo "This is my domain, and I protect those who come here! For I am Chuckzan--Lord of the Gift Shop!" That's it for AK--more to come from WDW tomorrow (it's getting kind of late). Now that would look really cool on Wes's coffee table. If he drank coffee. If he had a table. On the way out, we did some Christmas shopping for Wes. Nothing beats a lewdly titled book about his favorite animal! And more real African critters! Look, they can do more than bob their heads! So, these are real elephants, right? The Kilamanjaro Safari had a pretty short wait at 5:00 pm. And what would a trip to AK be like without seeing a few critters? Like this monkey, for example. "Nor shall your companions be spared my wrath!" "So, infidel! You dare to test the power of Kali twice!" "Er, Ward? There's a rather large cobra behind you." Ward likes water rides, so we headed back to Kali. We had to walk because, for some reason, rickshaw 69 was booked--go figure. And now, Erik and I take Ward on the "best ride in the history of the universe" (Dave Thomas). (Photo by Erik Johnson) Ward, stop and wave at me! Ward! Yoo hoo! Just stop and . . . oh, forget it! Whew! Who knew time travel could be so disorienting? Ward had never been on a spinning mouse before, so we headed back to Primeval Whirl. There were three lines for this ride: Stand-by, Fast Pass, and WTF?! "Now, maybe you will listen to your sherpa guide, eh?" Train don't fail me now! (Photo by Erik Johnson) "Grr! Grr, I tell you!" Once again, we have been warned! The Bros. Campbell prepare themselves to challenge the Yeti. (Photo by Erik Johnson) "Come, come gentlemen! The proof of the Yeti's existence is quite clear! While we wait out a t-storm in the Yeti Museum, Erik and Ward debate the existence of said beastie. Ward contemplates the majesty of Everest.

A Day at Animal Kingdom, a Night at Disney-MGM Ward was still tied up for a half-day on Saturday, so I was on my own, but not sad-and-pathetic. Erik came down from Gainesville to spend the day with us, and help guide us through AK and the Studios. This was mostly new terrirory to Ward. AK didn't exist the last time he was at WDW, and the Studios didn't even have the Tower of Terror. Expedition: Everest was top on his list, too. There were a few firsts for me, as well. First, hanging out with Erik--we had a great time. Second, the Kali River Rapids, where we both learned a valuable lesson: it is unwise to tempt Kali twice in one day! Third, the right side of the Primeval Whirl. Fast passes and Everest's single-rider line came in pretty handy, too. Here's a look at how our day went. Two honorary bugs. Ward liked the Bug flick--so far, so good. More AK pics to come. "Hey, get your finger outta that ape's nose! You want Dad to holler at us?" While waiting for Ward to arrive at It's Tough to Be a Bug, I taught a gorilla some proper grooming habits. Hmm--I think AK may be full of environmental-type messages. But being as I'm an American, I'm just not sure. Hey, kids! Can you find the Hidden Mickey? Erik loves showing off his huge, furry Yeti balls! "I'm ridin' Expedition: Everest/Yeti keeps hangin' on!/But the train keeps a rollin',/Back down to ol' Nep-a-a-a-l!" I hear the train a'comin'/It's comin' round the bend!/And I didn't think the stand-by/Line would ever end!" Erik looks like he's taking an annoying, moronic cousin on Everest. Why, this fountain kicks up a much bigger wave! Pfft! That all you got, Kali? And it has a beautiful queue house. Yeah, it's a short ride, but fun. Kali respected the awesome power of our fast passes and left us only somewhat wet. Back for our first ride on the Kali River Rapids. Yeah, sez you, lizard breath! We mammals so kicked your butts! We were both mesmerized by Chester and Hester's awesome technology! And now, Erik in X-treme close up on the Primeval Whirl. Hmm--looking pretty ominous. So, we hopped in a nearby convertible and cruised off to Chester and Hester's Dinorama (gotta love the AK transportation system). We fast-passed Kail and ambled over to Everest--the sherpas had their hands full that day between crowds and t-storms. Yes, Animal Kingdom, which is reigned over by a giant head of broccoli. (Shouldn't it be "Vegetable Kingdom"?) Erik picked me up at Downtown Disney in his "party van," thus getting our day off to a ___ ____ Awesome start! (PHoto by Erik Johnson)

Beyond the Valley of the Sad-and-Pathetic Day at the Magic Kingdom! Well, it's kinda crowded and there's some sort of parade coming--time to head out. Next up, the Animal Kingdom and Disney-MGM. Our intrepid skipper shows us what to do in the event we should sight Angus! Oh, yeah--Angus McNasty! Yes, it's right on the tip of my tongue . . . OK, this reminds me of whom? I actually fast-passed the Jungle Cruise to go ride Barnstormer, the train, and TTA. I've heard of this talking trash can, but this is the first time I've seen it action. Most of the kids seemed a bit freaked by the future of sanitation. Sorry, dude--this train is people only! Now this is the way to ride the Peoplemover. And the transport system of tomorrow, today! Now this is something DL should bring back. Time to check out the park's transportation system, starting with the steam train. Frankly, I like the scenery at DL better. Yes, the elusive credit #161 is mine at last! Too bad I don't have a sign to hold up. Hot damn tamale! The Barnstormer is open again! This is pretty much like the old Swiss Family Treehouse at DL, only with a nifty suspension bridge. "Ill-fated" is the polite term for "doomed" or "screwed." And there's always the refreshing taste of Dole Whip. 'Bout this much, I reckon. Well, still beats hell outta food at Kings Dominion. I shore am powerful hungry! Wonder what $10.10'll get me here? Yee haw! Fast-pass time fer BTMM at last! "But they plays a mean game of chess," sez I! Queen takes rook, ya swab! "Dead men tell no tales," sez you! Ahoy! Stripped down version of a classic Disney attraction off the port bow!