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Sounds like the fried-chicken joint at Kings Dominion.

Chapter 15: Final Thoughts--The Good, Not So Good, and Just Plain Strange I've had more than a month to reflect on TPR's 2008 Europe Tour, and I've really enjoyed sorting through the photos, sifting through the memories, and digesting random bits of leftover, well, randomness. (Sorry, that's the best I could come up with.) So, I decided to make a few lists--top and bottom 5s, as it were. First, if you've never taken a TPR trip before, do it! Save your change, sell your blood, sell your car, mortgage your family, join an international evil organization and blackmail the world . . . well, maybe not that. (Please note that Theme Park Review is on no way affilitated with SPECTRE, COBRA, or the Legion of Doom--although our application is still pending with the last one.) Anyway, if you can swing it, take a TPR trip sometime. It's definitely worth it, and not just for the ERT. Here's my best, worst, and weirdest from the Europe Trip. Top 5 Steel Coasters 5. Black Mamba (Phantasialand)--OK, I agree that this inverted isn't as forceful as, say, Nemesis. But its superb themeing brings it up a notch in my book--it's as much fun to watch as it is to ride. 4. Euro-Mir (Europa Park)--This was my favorite coaster at Europa. The bizarre spiral lifthill and combo space-station/disco themeing are a hoot, and the ride's a lot of fun. 3. Winjas: Fear and Force (Phantasialand)--Definitely one of the oddest coasters of the trip, as it winds and spins around inside a huge building, and offers a few cool tricks in the bargain. 2. Goliath (Walibi World)--Intamin hyperness at its near best, until you ride . . . 1. Expedition GeForce (Holiday Park)-- Yes, this bad boy topped them all--one insane airtime machine! Everybody needs to ride this one sometime. Top 3 Wooden Coasters: The woodies were a fairly average bunch, with three big exceptions. 3. Tonnerre de Zeus (Parc Asterix)--This wild stack of wood really got the trip off to a good start. 2. TROY! (Toverland)--I thought it would be hard to top Zeus, but the tricky, twisty TROY left the Father of the Greek Gods in the dust. 1. Colossos (Heide Park)--Intamin strikes again with another insane airtime machine. I don't know if it was the rain or the work of mischevous leprechauns (if Germany has leprechauns), but this ride was running beautifully that day. Best 5 Coasters Overall (Steel and Wood) 5. Winjas 4. Goliath 3. TROY! 2. Colossos 1. Expedition GeForce Honorable Mentions: Crush's Coaster (Walt Disney Studios), Formule X (Driveliet), and Tgentse Sau (Tripsdrill) Worst 5 Coasters (Steel and Wood) 5. El Condor (Walibi World)--Yes, the SLC that started it all deserves a special place on any worst-coasters list. 4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Peril (Paris Disneyland)--Intamin and Disney, how could you? Why would you install such a wretched, painful ride, then replicate it in Tokyo? Still, it beats riding . . . 3. Space Mountain: Mission 2 (Paris Disneyland)--You know, it's tough to appreciate the background music and special effects while you're being beaten senseless. Again, why, why, why? 2. Bandit (Movie Park)--You know, I didn't think a wooden coaster could be any worse until I rode . . . 1. Anaconda (Walygator)--Like I said earlier, this nasty, bumpy, lurching woodie does everything wrong. And think of all that perfectly good kindling just going to waste. Best 5 Water Rides 5. Bathtub flume (Tripsdrill)--Sorry, but I can't remember this ride's name (something in German, as I recall). How can you not like a flume ride with bathtub boats and boobs? 4. Wildwasserbahn (Heide Park)--Bizarre random themeing (a mine to a torture chamber to a tavern) abounds on this ride. It's also quite a soaker. 3. Poseidon (Europa Park)--Beautiful themeing based on Greek mythology makes this ride stand out. 2. River Quest (Phantasialand)--My favorite (sort of) rapids ride of the trip. I really liked the castle setting, and the whirlpool element and elevator lift were firsts for me. 1. Alien Encounter(Movie Park)--This was a very pleasant surprise. A big "splashdown" boat with a a cool dark-ride element, too. Best 5 Dark Rides 5. Challenge of Tutankahmen (Walibi Belgium)--This trackless Sally dark ride was the best shooter of the trip. And it has fire! 4. Ghost Castle (Europa Park)--This gets my vote for "Best Haunted Mansion Knockoff." Yes, they do ripoff the stretching room and Omnimover from the Disney classic, but they up the ante on gore and pure weirdness. 3. Pirates in Batavia (Europa Park)--And this gets my vote for "Best Pirates of the Caribbean Knockoff" (right down to having its own restaurant). 2. Pirates of the Caribbean (Paris Disneyland)--This is the best version of the Disney classic, even without Johnny Depp. 1. Phantom Manor (Paris Disneyland)-- And here's Disney's best take on the Haunted Mansion. They did a great job modifying the classic ride's storyline to fit it into Frontierland--and they upped the creepiness, too. Best 5 Parks 5. Efteling--A beautiful place with lots of good stuff (they just need a first-class coaster)--the hotel is excellent. 4. Heidi Park--Another beautiful park with one world-class coaster (Colossus) and a very good indeed coater (Desert Race) . Now they need a great dark ride. 3. Phantasialand--Beautifully themed, and a good mix of rides. 2. Paris Disneyland--This park just needs to improve its service a bit. It is the most beautiful of the "Magic Kingdom" parks (but, please, do something about Space Mountain). 1. Europa Park--Mack has a right to be proud of its showplace park. It's beautiful and has a great eccentric mix of dark rides and coasters. It was the best resort of the trip, too. Top 5 Guilty Pleasures (that is, things your shouldn't oughtta like, but do anyway) 5. El Paso Special (Bobbejaanland)--Yeehaw! No need to keep score, hombre! Just whip out your six-shooter and blast any woman, Mexican, or Confederate soldier that moves! It's like riding through a cartoon spaghetti western. 4. Evloution (Bobbejaanland)--Again, another bizarre coaster with a spiral lift and the longest freakin' train I've ever seen. It makes no sense at all, but I loved it. 3. Temple of the Night Hawk (Phantasialand)--Yet another weird indoor coaster with multiple lifts. Themeing consists of vector graphics of a, well, night hawk, I guess. It made me shrug and smile. 2. Silbermine (Phantasialand)--OK, it's a dark ride on a train through a mine, which rips off POTC, but with Mexicans. And there's a cockfight! 1. Hollywood Tour (Phantasialand)--I'm thinking that Phantasialand should change its name to "WTF Land." It certainly topped the Guilty Pleasures category, and this ripoff of The Great Movie Ride is the guiltiest one of all. Cheesy, moth-eaten, and absolutely hilarious. This ride must live forever! Most Pleasant Surprise of the Europe Trip: Walt Disney Studios Park (much better than anticipated) Best 5 TPR Moments of the Trip 5. Riding the "party train" during the Euro-Mir takeover. 4. Riding Euro-Sat with the lights on and off. 3. Cruising up the spiral lift of Evolution during the TPR takeover in that enormous train, while everybody "got down" (after a fashion) to the techno music. 2. Enjoying free beer, as well as awesome "extra extra ERT" on GeForce. 1. Having TROY ERT , as well as an open bar, at Toverland (now that was a party). And I think I'm done now. Thanks for reading, if you've lasted this long. And, once again, my thanks to Robb and Elissa for being who they are and doing what they do. Chuck

I, too, pity all those who had to get the Sidewinder credit--at least KD was more merciful by keeping Shockwave closed last Wednesday.

^Thanks--I've fixed the caption. I'm terrible with names.

More fun 'n' games at BGE and KD. No, Dave--you may not take an official Kings Dominion brick as a souvenir! That's all--thanks for reading. "I didn't touch nothin'! I didn't touch nothin'!" "Hello ladies! I keep track of my coaster count on my cell phone! Pretty damn cool, wouldn't you say?" "Drop Tower--the suspense builds! Yes, we are very much in suspense waiting for what happens on Drop Tower! Just what does this ride do?" "I'm just a sittin'--thank god!" "And I'm a squishin'!" "I'm a clenchin'!" It's the KidTums workout. Come on, baby! Feel the burn! Especially Hanno. (Dominator's exit bridge shakes like mad for some reason.) Everybody was pretty loopy that morning. ERT . . . go-o-o-o-d! TPR members like! Here we observe coaster dorks in their natural habitat. "Choke, monkeys, choke!" On to Kings Dominion. "Argh! Won by some wench at a carny game! This be no fit end for a good pirate duck such as meself!" Here we observe plush green frogs doing what comes naturally in their own habitat. Oh, the beauty of nature! Welcome to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom! It's plush-animal-mating season in Virginia. "Stupid milk bottles! Die!" "Hello, again ladies! Care to play with my pink monkey?"

Theme Park Review's 2008 East Coast Tour cruised into Virginia, so I took two days off to hang out with the crew at Busch Gardens Europe and Kings Dominion. Living in Williamsburg, I spend a lot of time at these two parks (especially Euroburg) during the season--but there's "time" and there's "TPR Time." How often do I get to hang out with some really cool people and enjoy ERT on Griffon, Alpengeist, the Big Bad Wolf, Dominator, and Volcano--not to mention take a walking tour of Curse of DarKastle? Euroburg's great to have as a home park, and I'm glad that everybody had a good time there. (It's pretty tough to beat nighttime ERT on the Big Bad Wolf, eh folks?) Opinions seemed a bit more mixed about KD, but the group enjoyed their time there overall, I think. Once again, my thanks to Robb and Elissa for setting all this up. Here's a look at two great days in Virginia. Shall we start with DarKastle? Remember--no tongues. More to come from BGE and KD. "Nice doggie, Tyler. Don't scare any more pineapple-juice diarrhea out of the nice little birdie . . ." "Hi Ladies! I'm Jahan! This is an old Arrow flume. Cool, eh?" Thanks for the look at DarKastle, BGE. Aghh! I'm experiencing vertigo! Sideways! Here's the entrance to the maintenance area. If the computer system detects a faulty ride vehicle, a turntable diverts it here. "Come--it shall be fed!" "You have such hunger for my secrets?" What? Am I taking crazy pills? Hmm--must be the maid's century off. . . . as is everybody else. Yeah, I'm totally geeking out here . . . Here's our excellent guide, Larry Giles, head of design and engineering. The trees can't start scaring anybody until after they've had their morning cup of coffee. . . . a behind-the-scenes tour of Curse of DarKastle is just too cool. Yeah, ERT on Alpengeist and Griffon is great, but . . .

^I think the nadir of Bush the Younger's attempts at diplomacy came when he went to Saudi Arabia and asked them to "please, pretty please" lower the cost of their crude. They pretty much laughed in his face. I think our Bush discussions have become more like digressions when it comes to this thread, though. The idea is to discuss Obama v. McCain v. Beemer Boy, and how they'd handle our country's current situation. Scott, will you block any attemtps to start regular monorail service between Iran and Iraq?

Because they allowed us to establish bases and mount an invasion from their own country. That gives them a "say." The Saudis are a complicated bunch. They produced Osama bin Laden and contribute to Al Quaida, yet we're their number-one customers when it comes to oil.

^Bush the Elder was also honoring his agreement with our Saudi "allies." Are you suggesting that he should've broken that agreement? I'm not sure that I buy the "they'll hate us no matter what" argument. After all, most of the Arab world was appalled over 9-11 (some factions aside). This was political capital that our government, unfortunately, squandered, leaving us with a nation (Iraq) we can ill-afford to "build," an emboldened Iran, a lot of residual anger in the Middle East, and a lower standing in the world community. Granted, our invasion of Iraq did seem to sober up Libya, but it also helped make Ghaddafi a major player again by turning him into a "statesman" (not quite the solution we expected, I think).

^^Actually, that wouldn't have flown either--particularly with the Saudis and other Arab nations. They just wanted Saddam out of Kuwait. Bush's decision to invade Iraq is really hurting us when it comes to dealing with Putin and the Russian invasion of Georgia. (I don't blame Putin, coniving bastard that he is, for being a bit sarcastic when Bush said that nations don't topple other nations in the 21st century.) We are going to be paying for this misguided, mismanaged war for years to come, I think. The "war of liberation" argument is a very slippery slope. What about North Korea? African nations controlled by despots? When are we going to "liberate" them?

^Is a good boy for reporting spam. vMust remember to report spam threads--not bump them.

According to the latest issue of Williamsburg's Virginia Gazette, Candover, a British equity firm, is looking at buying all the Busch parks for around $4 billion. (I couldn't find the story online--I read it in the print version.)

Based on the state of the park this season, I think you'd be lucky if you got a maze in a tent, much less a new building. This is too bad as I really enjoyed myself at SFA last season.

^"Abstinence-only" policies represent yet another "foolish consistency." While they make members of the religious half of the right wing happy, such policies do little to combat teen pregnancy--but they do help foster ignorance about contraception. A study in the UK showed that parents do need to start talking with their children at age 11 about sex and relationships; by the time the kids reach age 15, it's probably too late. Parental responsibility is important--but I think more enlightened government policies (divorced from religious beliefs) are needed, too.

^I had the BBQ sandwich, same as Guy, and I did grab a loaf of cinnamon bread--ate a little of it there and finished the rest off at my friends' house during breakfast (it was pretty tough resisting the urge to just wolf it all down).

I fully expect a visit from Angus's cousin Filthy McNasty any day now. At least one park still has a "Haunted Shack."

I certainly did--the uber official Tennessee Tornado magnet. It currently graces my fridge with its presence.

And future Howl-o-Scream maze.

Goin' whorin', goin' whorin' at Dollywood . . . Thanks for a great day, Dolly! I'll be sure to buy a kitchen magnet on my way out. And thank you, again, Guy, Jarett, and January! OK, so I exaggerated. It doesn't look that bad. Kids, be afraid! Be very afraid! I'm not a big fan of spinning rides, but I did try out the Dizzy Disk. How'd I do? Well, I did have to get a Sprite afterward. Phew! Good thing the plexiglass windshield protected from the awesome Gs this ride pulls! My . . . god! The . . . forces . . . must . . . not . . . black . . . out! Guy and January are ready to ride. Oh, so that's the name of that Veggie Tales coaster. . . . and end up down here. You twist around here . . . Our motley crew on the Mountain Slidewinder water tobaggon. The result. The splash. The drop. This is one of my favorite flume rides--nicely themed, with huge, comfortable boats. This sign at Daredevil Falls proivdes words to live by. "You know, I'm thinkin' that brewin' shine in the hotel room may have been an error in judgment." "We don't cotton much to strangers 'round here. Best clear off afore I fill your butt fulla rock salt." And it ain't from eatin' frijoles, either! Fire in the hole! Blazing Fury is one of the strangest rides everywhere--a bizarre, entertaining dark-ride/coaster hybrid that is definitely Guy approved.

Ya'll still here? Well, bless your hearts! Hmm--could be. We'll have to see about that. One more set of photos to come. Guy, thou hast spoke aright! Tennessee Tornado kicks butt! Wow! I can't believe how good that ride actually was! Maybe the old "one-two"? A shot to the temple? Will I get a punch in the jaw? Me in the front car, wondering what my fate will be. Themeing in the station. Next up, one of the best Arrows, I think. "Eat of this flesh, my son! It will make you stronger!" But at what cost? River Battle was fun--and quite the upper-body workout. Yes, sweet, sweet victory! . . . this means war! Uh oh! Somebody squirted Guy and the kids! Of course, you realize . . . Good luck, Guy! I'll be sure to give the kids plenty of sugar-filled treats while you ride. Here's where you're flipped back into the station. . . . you plunge back in. After zipping around outside the mine . . . As I recall, this is the "What the hell is that?" element. (At least that's what our group always said on Oakwood's Speed back in '06.) This ride nearly matches Disney and Universal when it comes to themeing--excellent work. OK, how many times has this picture been posted on TPR?

The last time I visited Dollywood, the Tennessee Tornado wasn't even a gleam in the eyes of Dolly and her marketing department--their only coaster was this, at best, mediocre mine train that was somewhat more exciting than your average Wacky Worm. (But Blazing Fury kicked butt!) I was there on what turned out to be a fairly bad second date. Going to Dollywood was my date's idea in the first place, but she was really more interested in going outlet shopping instead and wouldn't ride anything, anyway. I topped off this splendid day by losing track of my car in the parking lot. Yes, I'm quite the smooth operator. Well, that was then, this is now (to lift a phrase from the Monkees, who stole it from an old S. E. Hinton novel, I think). I had to head to the Smokies for the 25th wedding anniversary of my good friends the Railsbacks, who are transplanted Californians living in Cullowhee, NC. So, I left work early on Thursday, July 31; spent a night and not a forture in Marion, VA; and met Guy and his kids, Jarett and January, for a much better day at Dollywood on Friday, August 1. Dollywood has improved immeasurably since my last ill-fated visit. The park isl beautiful, the staff is among the nicest out there, and the food is very good. And the three major coasters range from very good to great: Thunderhead--This woodie was great and stands a good chance of cracking my top ten this year. It reminded me of Toverland's TROY! with its twisty layout and station fly-by. It has a fair amount of air, too. Mystery Mine--I've ridden three Eurofighters and liked all three a lot. Although Mystery Mine has a spot of roughness here and there (usually on the shorter drops), the ride is a lot of fun overall, and the dark-ride segments are pretty cool. Tennessee Tornado--My first thought while riding up the lifthill: "Hmm--an Arrow ride with a tight, goofy-looking layout. Surely, no good can come of this!" I'm happy to say that I was wrong. This ride is amazingly smooth and plenty of fun, if brief. "Veggie Tales" coaster--The proper name for this ride escapes me for a moment, but, yeah, we whored this thing. Blazing Fury is still there, of course, and it's still a kick. I can understand why some people are tempted to count this as a credit (I don't, myself). Daredevil Falls is an excellent, well-theme soaker of a flume ride, and I like the Mountain Slidewinder raft ride, as well. I was also glad to get a crack at the Timber Tower, being as the version at Walygator was out of commission during the TPR Europe Tour. My only regret is missing the train ride, but time got away from me, and it was a two-hour drive to Cullowhee. (And I have to get back to Pigeon Forge for the Jurassic River Adventure one of these days.--right, Dave?) Here's a look at our day at Dollywood. Guy, Jarett, and January, thanks for being my gracious hosts and hostess at your home park. I'll be happy to return the favor at Euroburg. Dadburn pesky beavers! More to come from Dollywood. . . . ber-r-r-r-r-r! Tim-m-m-m-m . . . And a look at me and Jarett on the Timber Tower. A look at Thunderhead from the Timber Tower. Thunderhead is so great, you even get extreme hairtime in the test seat. This is as close as January could get to riding Thunderhead--maybe next year. Jarett screwed up his courage and decided to tackle Thunderhead--he liked it. Not so easy in this one, though. Yes, it's quite easy to spot me in this picture. Taking it in the rear on Thunderhead. (Hmm--that didn't sound quite right for some reason.) Wave to your dad, kids. Time to "kid swap" with Guy. Jarett and January were very patient in waiting for the big kids to get their rides. Yep--right nice coaster y'all got here. Pretty damn awesome. First, a ride in the front. I'm pretty sure Thunderhead will figure in my top ten--it's just a matter of where. Yeah, that hedge is bitchin', alright--where are the freakin' coasters? Welcome to Dollywood! Right purty little butterfly hedge. Why it just tickles me half to death!

I saw Tropic Thunder with some friends last night, and we all thought it was hilarious (and were pleasantly surprised by how funny Tom Cruise was in it). Offensive? Yeah, I could see why some people would be offended by it, although it isn't on the same level of offensiveness as Team America (another hilarious movie that pokes fun at Hollywood). I'll definitely be buying this DVD. We had a great Chinese dinner afterward, too--orange crispy beef. . . o-o-o-o-o-o . . .

Arrows and SLCs are always so damn photogenic. Fair of face but foul of temper. I know what you mean about coming to appreciate the smaller parks, Natalie. I never used to give places like Knoebels a second thought until I joined TPR. The best of them have a vibe all their own that the corporate parks just can't quite match (I hold up Chester and Hester's Dinorama at Animal Kingdom as Exhibit A).

This is a friendly warning. For the most part, this thread has remained remarkably civil considering its topic. But the tone is starting to change. Please refrain from any name calling or flaming. And if you're going to make any blanket claims regarding one side or the other, it would behoove you to provide some documentation to back it up. Thank you, Chuck

Oh right, I am riding it for the first time in a few weeks! So its not all its hyped up to be then? Jordan. A lot of people love it, but for me it was a few inversions too many (and a bit rough in spots). It's all a matter of preference. I hope you enjoy your ride.