downunder

Doiney Pawk & A Trip Report From My Dreams I think everyone thought of Dorney as a pit stop given that we were staying across the road. Dorney was a bit better than I expected, though I did grab all the credits as quickly as possible and went back to the hotel room and slept so I will also include photos of what I dreamed about as well. And in exclusive news, the ferris wheel operator advised me Dorney would be getting an Intamin Pre Fab woodie, umm I don't even think Dorney would a get a knex model of one. After I woke up I wound up having a nice dinner at a bar next door to the hotel. Also drinking, after one "The Kitchen" I was struggling to stay upright, after a second "The Kitchen" I was begging for mercy, so when a third complimentary "The Kitchen" came out I was pretty much anybody's. After that, back to the park with some sensational ERT on Hydra and Talon, these coasters were a lot better than I expected. So what did I think of the coasters: Steel Force: not too bad, nice floating airtime, Magnum on valium. Hydra: fun without being mind blowing, the pre lift jo-jo roll is the biggest pick pocket since Oliver Twist. Talon: a pretty damn good invert in my book, a bit below Raptor. Laser: forceful, glass smooth but unfortunately now long gone. Little Laser: credit denied, even my best Verne Troyer impersonation failed. Possessed (nee Voodoo): OK, nothing different from any other of this type of coaster. Dragon: just another dragon wagon credit, move along. Thunderhawk: passable woodie. Wild Mouse: very standard spinning mouse with a very slow moving line. Woodstock: very standard kid ride, get the credit & move along. And epic fails, bloody vallied the day before. F*** you very much X! Climbing mountains so high, I was so scared up there I couldn't feel anything below my waist. Cruising the lake on a summer's day, where is that place? I also dreamed of coaster paradise, far from Dorney. Being easy in the Big Easy, this place is Sex the City. Bright city lights from inspiration point. But do you know what city it is? Spooky hotels, I half expected ghost pirates to jump out and mug me at cutlass point. Forging meaningful relationships with Naked cowgirls in Times Square. I was riding bulls in New Jersey, in a complimentary Superman t-shirt. (Hanno photo again). I dreamed I was riding Wyld Stallions in the desert like Mister Rogers - what, he wasn't a cowboy? I was superman, on superman, no Ride Of Steel biatch! No, it's Superman in my heart. (Photo Credit, Hanno, I think, that telephoto lens can even see into my dreams). The train kept a going down, and I headed back to the hotel to sleep. What did I dream of? First they go shoeless on the coaster, next it's the pants, then the top. I love stripper day at Dorney Park. It's a pretty coaster, though I must admit that I was feeling pretty vacant by the time I got to this park. Another day, another B & M loop, I barely noticed, it must get like that for Hef at the playboy mansion. The Grip Of Fear? I don't think so. Rugby at Cardiff Arms park is truly the grip of fear, the bag snatching (aka ball grabbing) capital of the world. Hydra, far from a flawless floorless, the biggest revenge of hydra was on my hip pocket when the jo-jo roll emptied my cargo shorts. Steel Force is to Magnum XL-200 as Gandhi is to Mike Tyson. Talon was above average as far as coasting on the mean streets of Allentown goes. At Geauga Lake, this coaster was known as repossessed. Steel Force awaited us, the Steel Force phantom seemed to have gotten lost commuting to Kennywood. The might of Dorney PD was on the case with tasers at the ready for any people found smoking outside smoking areas or known members of ACE. I love how it is an offence to jump over the line but pushing in is OK. US high jump officials were seen scouting for line jumping talent, with some epic clearances during the day.

I thought there might have been some other airtime to be had somewhere on Skull Mountain. It's funny how some first drops are really good when there is no reason for them to be special, Gemini at CP is another example. That crossover is usually the most intense, that is strange. That's like at SFNE last year on Super, there was no airtime off the hill that dives into the spaghetti bowl section, every other time I've been there there has been.

Thanks for keeping us updated, another reason to look forwared to a visit to Holiday World. Plunge looks terrifying but in a good way. Holidog is probably cowering at the back of his doghouse at the prospect of taking the plunge.

Good work Matt, glad your back on tracks. Does Skull Mountain get airtime throughout the ride or just the first drop, I only remember the first drop being good but I wasn't in the back? What was El Toro running like?

I only lined up for 3 coasters once the crowds were in, Great Bear moved very slowly it must have 1-2 hours but I can't remember exactly. Superdooperlooper and Comet were at least a half an hour at night like 8-9pm. As far as chocolate world goes, that song was annoying and terrible - it made one of Barry Manilow's howlers seem like the greatest and best song in the world. They need to be able to run the chocolate ride in different modes like one with Rage Against The Machine for some serious rocking, maybe some Barry White for sexy time on rides later at night, and shoot those freaking cows. At the moment that ride is like scientology with chocolate, I expected an animatronic Tom Cruise to jump out. I didn't do the choclate ride when I first visited in 2004 so I guess I missed out on the better version.

Hersheypark Part 2 Like many repliers have been saying, the lines did move rather slowly, Great Bear took forever. Other than Great Bear, I didn't ride too much during the day after ERT on Storm Runner and Fahrenheit - I think just Lightning Racer and Wildcat. Then off to Chocolate World, and the ride. All I can say is that the chocolate ride is the chocolate equivalent of a Borg assimilation. That song, they kept playing the whole way through, that lame ass song. I wanted to do shock treatment with the bus's jumper leads just to make it stop. But even after all that, I still think Hershey chocolate blows, and not in a good way. Hershey Chocolate definitely isn't worth the weight. After dinner, went on Superdooperlooper and Comet, which was pretty damn good at night. Then onto ERT, Grizzly was much better at night and Lightning Racer was a sensational ERT session. On the whole a great day at Hershey but it is wise to go there when it is a bit quieter. Next stop: Doiney Pawk The moon rose on Hershey and the craziness continued at Lightning Racer until pumpkin time. Fahrenheit Ride Of Little Airtime, it looks so good but the real airtime is still further north. Ahhh, Fahrenheit Ride Of Temperature, it's a shame SROS @ SFNE didn't retain these colours, now it looks like a nerd's colour co-ordination nightmare. GJ shows how to move up in TPR, smooch that bear ass Jersey boy! Stop - do not proceed. The fine print said hide the sign from Dan and invite him up and hold him against the rails. Somehow we managed to get lost on the way to Wildcat catering - grilled salmon, seared vegetables & chardonnay for Theme Posh Review. The chocolate axis of evil - Gabby, Harmony and Olympia. Damn you, bovine prophets of false chocolate. Hershey's way of saying that Dan is not welcome at their park. Hershey has a formidable array of rides that achieve wetness and that's not including the kissing tower. It was scary what some on the Thunder bus had in mind for those track lubricants, the Lightning bus on the other hand was a bit more predictable. The ducks waited to do a Fabio on unsuspecting celebs on Stormrunner, business was slow today. They mistook one TPR tourist for Screech from Saved By The Bell but he managed to duck (no pun intended). This looks like a former winner of the Darwin awards or a Dr Kervorkian coaster design but it was twins of pleasure for the TPR coaster marathon whores. Thunder and Lightning would have a mighty clash later that night, everyone's middle fingers were quite stiff after the ERT session as the riders in each train hurled hand gestures at each other with every pass. If this coaster had been in Europe, they probably wouldn't have just looked like they just had sex in the front row. I believe this was GCI's cherry popper coaster, correct if I'm wrong not so cherry popped masses of TPR. I think it was more Mildcat catering for the TPR "badasses".

^Thanks Jason. Chocolate in Australia is so much better than Hershey's and there's much more variety. Better still there is a Lindt chocolate cafe just across the road from where I work. Hershey seems to have a Microsoft like hold on the chocolate business in the US, they'd never make it down here, we don't eat s*** like that, we know better.

This made me smile after reading that, whether you meant to do that or not. Hahaha. Anyways, Loved the photos! Great TR. It looks like a great park with a nice balance between coasters and atmosphere. Makes me want to visit this park even more. Something I think is really awesome is the "One train operating at this time" sign. I didn't know Hershey did that. That's something that would come to great use in every park. I can't count the number of times I've waited in a line, only to be stuck in an hour wait after later realizing that only one train is running. Hershey is a nice park as long you aren't expecting coasters that would make the top ten in coaster polls (but are still pretty good). I think a Megalite would go really well at Hershey (like I do at every park that doesn't have one), a Maverick style coaster would be good too but that is too similar to Fahrenheit.

I agree with you there Scott, it's a nice park with some pretty good coasters but not that one (or more) special coaster that makes me want to go there a lot. What I mean by that is something like a Superman Ride Of Steel, El Toro, Boulder Dash, Phoenix, or X (yes, I really like X). I have a view on the chocolate tour which I will get to in part 2. John Peck wrote: I think it was between 8pm and 9pm before it hit. I have to admit I've had plenty of experiences like that on TPR tours. Tony, of Tony and Tyler fame had two words for me when a massive black cloud bank descended on Cedar Point while waiting for Maverick to open - "save yourself". We also had half an ERT session on Ravine Flyer II, that should have been called the Ride The Lightning session. And then there was the storm at Mt Olympus which killed our night ERT on Hades, and almost killed our next day ERT on Avalanche because it had been struck by lightning which fried the electricals.

Well that coaster is bad like a motherf***er. I have to admit this Superman saga is looking more stupid by the second, oh well, as long as the coaster is still good. Bizarro, never heard of him before today, but I'm not much of a geek. Dark Knight is the only Batman movie I've seen.

Hersheypark Part 1 One of the more anticpated parks of the trip, I think their chocolate sucks but the park doesn't. The coasters: Fahrenheit: a fun coaster but not particularly forceful, back row was best. 7.5/10. Stormrunner: was a step in the right direction for rocket coasters, best coaster at the park IMO. 8.5/10. Lightning Racer: very good during the day and excellent at night. 8/10. Wildcat: very rough during the day but much better at night, not a bad woodie. 6/10. Comet: a real surprise, only rode this at night, was really smooth, I had a great ride on this woodie. 7/10. Great Bear: was running really well this day, definitely went up my inverted rankings. 7.5/10. Superdooperlooper: very much like a mine train with a loop, glass smooth Schwarzkopf, which interacts well with the terrain. I didn't ride the other 4 coasters because I had been once before in 2004, the wildmouse is not bad, boomerang is what you would expect, ok mine train and rollersoaker is the least Dan friendly coaster on earth, be sure to email him about it. Norwegian loopiness that doesn't involve death metal or a high pitched pop chorus. I have nothing to say - going down. It's like Maverick but not as good, a launch into a drop like this is much better. The Hershey difference, probably any other park wouldn't tell you and or give a fats rat anyway. Brought to you in not quite SLR blur o vision, man front right arms in air tries to dry himself after a drenching from rollersoaker. I love how the drop is deeper than the upside, sounds like a lot of relationships. Into the twisty going around barrel roll thing. Note to self must update coaster vocabulary. The sexy snake horse fire laser dive, wait a minute Cedar Fair is tomorrow. The first drop on Great Bear is quite impressive, just watch out for the branches. Another park, another B & M vertical loop - these things reproduce like rabbits. Great Bear was quite bearable, the line moved slower than a continent later in the day so it was wise to get in early. In the distance Lightning Racer is giving me double vision, not quite the twin credit most men covet but a fun ride. B & M & Schwarzkopf living in perfect harmony like two guys atb one piano singing about racial harmony. Comet in the background waiting to totally surprise me that night. Stormrunner looking faded but still sexy, the flying snake horse dive stirred many a trouser on the Lightning bus. This coaster just wouldn't have worked downunder, "Celcius" anyone? Bruce was coming, but not soon enough. TPR didn't quite excite the masses as much as the Boss.

My Bloody Clementon We came, we rode, we ran for our lives. After dodging lightning at Trevorwood, I mean Waldameer, we didn't push our luck again with the Hell Rabbit ERT. So how was Tsnami, Hellcat, J2 or whatever? It wasn't noticeably rough on our hit and run mission and it wasn't noticeably good either, just another blur in the mediocre coaster file. I hear the new name for the coaster will be Tara and Toni Collette will be there to open it. A special shout out to Matt's Mom, who had dropped by with some printed out group photos from our first meeting at Great Adventure - you rock. On the whole C-ton was a small park where fun can be had but without any outstanding attractions. Better than a carnival or Quassy and on the plus side none of the patrons seemed noticeably scary but it's always the ones you don't suspect that wind up being the worst serial killers. Save yourselves. Next stop Hershey. The weather turned coaster creep scary real fast. We took the hint and got the f*** out of Jersey. Based on earlier reports about the roughness of this coaster I thought that they kept changing the name to get out of lawsuits but all the names are still better than Cedar Fair - Laserwoodhawk anyone? The park is small but it's still bigger than my homepark but I'm sure the locals are as happy as an ACEr swimming in a lake of gravy. President of AFE (American Froghopper Enthusiasts), Cutetums, enjoys the carousel. The Tara coaster, looks good from a distance but the close ups are awful mean, a bit like Tara Reid.

Moment Of Surrender - U2

Nice report, one of my friends works for Qantas and as an engineer for the A380. There was a story that if LAX wasn't less busy because of the economic downturn that would have trouble handling A380's. What were the seats like compared to the 747, I hear they recline by pushing up more than back? Have a good time in Melbourne, if that's possible (I'm from Sydney, and we call Melbourne bleak city and Melbournites mexicans). I've never been to Melbourne for pleasure, only business.

I was looking for one of Seth Green's "Leave Alone" parodies and I found this, just leave Diablo alone!

They do that all the time, wow, that's pretty poor. Nostalgia aside, if the slide can't handle more than one person maybe conversion to scrap metal is due. We had to wait in a line, painfully slow.

No, but I probably will soon. Do you hate Windows Vista with a passion?

More Morey's Coasters at Morey's- Great Nor'easter: the restraints were a big improvements but the jerky Vekoma SLC transitions remain the same, an OK ride. Vekoma Boomerang, Wild Mouse, Galaxi: exactly what you'd expect for these coaster types, unfortunately the Boomerang didn't have the new restraints and if memory serves me right the Galaxi had very unnecessary OTSR's. Flitzer - cute but uninspiring. Great White - ok, nothing mind blowing, passable woodie, I don't recall it being rough. That red dress looks like something Pamela Anderson would wear to the oscars. I hope she's hosting when she does. Parking Lot The Ride, extremely aggressive. Why? Petrol had become so expensive that it was cheaper to run cars on Red Bull. I've heard of one train operation but one lane operation on a slide, even Six Flags in their darkest days wouldn't have dreamed of that. Laura learns a painful lesson in friction. In the foreground - Eric and Candace, wonderful people and the first people to procreate on a TPR tour. I'm wondering what the child will be called - Toro, Dash, Phoenix or maybe Batwing? In the background, not quite El Toro. Great White more just Okay White. I would have closed my eyes and pretended it was Phoenix but I hadn't ridden Phoenix yet. The Vekoma vista in the distance, not as painful as Windows Vista - die Microsoft! Mike seemed to enjoy getting his arse eaten. A meeting with a Great White in my country often results in dismemberment, death, or at the very least a soiled swimsuit. I was hoping for better with the Jersey Great White. A coaster on the beach ain't quite sex on the beach. I just closed my eyes and pretended it was El Toro. The Great White debate - wood coaster, steel supports and all those Voyage fanboys who complain that El Toro isn't a real wood coaster. More like a mass debate. A Tale of Two Nuts - the hot and the not. But do they have Delgrosso's, is there any other sauce? Sadly no. Alabama has the Crimson Tide and Morey's cess pool had the yellow tide. More like Wet and Mild. The heat was so bad even being spat on would have been a relief. "Uh, this is like Florida without MILF's, except me of course". How sweet, Elissa goes 3gen. "Everybody smile for the coaster creeps". Douglass Fudge, the Thunder bus were big customers. Dave and Mike Fudge's fortune grew. Geez, Americans love to pack fudge. More Jersey class, I was curious as to who Dave's Bitch was, and Adam's Angel, and Jeff's girl - wouldn't he be too busy counting his credits? The third pier with coasters on it was in another state, it was the credit whore marathon for the Great White encounter.

Yes, but not deliberately, just when I haven't had one long enough to get it cold in the fridge. Do you trust local government?

Thanks Matt, you've got some good stuff in your home state. I'd be pretty happy if I had El Toro not too far away. You know Clementon is actually better than the only park in Sydney, Clementon is Great Adventure compared to Luna Park Sydney.

You know family guy and robot chicken are both co written by Seth Green right? Anyway, it was kind of mean. But like a lot of people said, if I was on family guy, I would be so happy no matter what they said. I didn't know Seth Green was involved with Family Guy (I like it but I don't watch it regularly), though I used to think Seth MacFarlane was involved with Robot Chicken for some reason. As far as being mean goes, this did seem a bit on the nasty side, rather than purely satirical.

Definitely don't like the colour of the trains but I do like that the leg irons seem to be gone. I hope they're not changing the name (hate the new colours), it's just so iconic. If the start calling it Joker's Joke or Lex Luthor's Leap The Dips or something of that ilk - that would be disappointing.

That was pretty mean in my opinion, I'd be hurt by something like that. I'm not a fan, but I've been extremely impressed with her writing, based on Juno and Candy Girl. What next for DCody? Guest spot on Robot Chicken - maybe they could have her chainsawing the Family Guy crew to pieces. Getting a guest spot on The Simpsons would be a real accolade. A South Park spot probably wouldn't be pleasant.

Hey Roxy, not listening to the new album? I'm Not Down by The Clash Hey! Brent! HAha, I actually have all U2 on shuffle!! I love the Clash btw!!! Ok media player just shuffled Stand Up Comedy------U2 Yes, the Clash totally rock, London Calling is an amazing album. Tame by The Pixies is on right now. got hips like cinderella must be having a good shame talking sweet about nothing cookie i think you're tame

Hey Roxy, not listening to the new album? I'm Not Down by The Clash