A complaint about B&M

[SLUSHIE]

In this letter, I would like to share with you some thoughts I originally organized to put inexorable pressure on B&M to be a bit more careful about what it says and does. As a preliminary, I want to shatter the illusion that B&M does the things it does "for the children". I, not being one of the many fork-tongued devotees of conspiracy theories of this world, can repeat with undiminished conviction something I said eons ago: B&M says it's going to herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses before long. Is it out of its mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that it will stop at nothing to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate destructive, putrid nutcases. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes organizations like B&M want to carve out space in the mainstream for manipulative politics. We must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize B&M's loquacious, ill-bred cajoleries, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to lift the fog from its thinking.)

 

I used to think that batty, antisocial megalomaniacs were the most pathetic people on the planet, but now I know that B&M's ultimata command as much respect as the tales in the supermarket tabloids. But the problems with B&M's flimflams don't end there. We must begin the debate about B&M's strictures. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that B&M goes ga-ga for any type of obstructionism you can think of. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if B&M finds a way to harm others, or even instill the fear of harm. While B&M needs to come to terms with its incorrigible past, I can't possibly believe its claim that its philippics are all sweetness and light. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet, because when one examines the ramifications of letting B&M topple society, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that it is nothing if not ignorant. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time it tried to force its moral code on the rest of us.

 

I don't get it: Why does B&M insist on boring holes in the hull of the boat in which it itself is also a passenger? I mean, B&M frequently avers its support of democracy and its love of freedom. But one need only look at what B&M is doing -- as opposed to what it is saying -- to understand its true aims. Of perhaps even more concern is that I have to laugh when B&M says that its publications epitomize wholesome family entertainment. Where in the world did it get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but its faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. Some self-aggrandizing liars and cheats have raised objections to my double standards, but their objections are all politically motivated. The foregoing greatly simplifies the real situation, but it does indicate in a rough, general way that in B&M's cop-outs, blackguardism is witting and unremitting, bleeding-heart and fickle. It revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to inject its lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. Still, the issue of what to do about B&M's indelicate paroxysms is far from settled. The letter you just read should be seen as a starting point for dialogue on this controversial issue.

 

 

Lol. All of that was from this cool thing I found, the automatic complaint-letter generator.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

[JamminJ]

IN.

[Jonathan]

Best post ever

[crispy]

Be forewarned: In this letter, I will be as harsh as truth and as uncompromising as justice. Some background is in order: My Pants's cause is not glorious. It is not wonderful. It is not good. If there is one thing I have learned, it is this: His methods are much subtler now than ever before. He is more adept at hidden mind control and his techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. My Pants, as usual, you prove yourself to be raucous. You may find it amusing or even titillating to read about his hatchet jobs, but they're not amusing to me. They're deeply troubling. My point may be made clearer by use of an allegorical tale. Suppose a hypothetical group of three people is standing in a room. One of those people realizes that we stand to lose far more than we'll ever gain if we don't establish clear, justifiable definitions of despotism and escapism, so that you can defend a decision to take action when My Pants's vicegerents replace love and understanding with exhibitionism and radicalism. Another goes on and on about My Pants's laughable, quixotic conjectures. But the third can't understand why clericalism is the last refuge of the viperine. In this hypothetical situation, it should be obvious that I cannot promise not to be angry at My Pants. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me -- as it leads My Pants -- to take us all on a totally reckless ride into the unknown. Now that this letter has come to an end, I decidedly hope you walk away from it realizing that it is a dangerous folly to ignore the threat to democracy posed by unsophisticated, passive-aggressive morons.

 

 

wow, funny

[AllisonY2K]

My complaint about That obnoxious smell

 

Please pardon the self-righteous overtones that will be found throughout this letter, but some of That obnoxious smell's former attendants say they were willing to help That obnoxious smell change the course of history because That obnoxious smell convinced them that they were part of a historic mission to save the world from a neurotic global conspiracy -- a belief they now reject as filthy. For the sake of review, my dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to make this world a kinder, gentler place. That obnoxious smell is more dangerous than other primitive knuckle-draggers because the spoiled, pampered offspring of the cosseted upper class actually believe That obnoxious smell when it says that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. Maybe you, too, want to skewer me over a pit barbecue, so let me warn you: If That obnoxious smell makes fun of me or insults me, I hear it, and it hurts. But I take solace in the fact that I am still able to replace today's chaos and lack of vision with order and a supreme sense of purpose. I want to give people more information about That obnoxious smell, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I decidedly hope people draw: That obnoxious smell claims that it is merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in its equivocations. Then again, That obnoxious smell wants to abandon me on a desert island. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is That obnoxious smell's gossamer grasp of reality. That obnoxious smell would have us believe that the Universe belongs to it by right. Yeah, right. That obnoxious smell's comrades can be stereotyped as impudent tools of prepackaged political ideology and oleaginous prima donnas to boot. So I give you this letter. I hope it helps.