cfc

Same answer then--Colossus at TP. Kind of an overrated ride, I think.

Colossus at Thorpe Park in the UK still holds the record, I think--10 inversions. I understand that there's a clone of Colossus in China.

Eric (with a "c") Johnson and I got on a Caterpillar ride at Southport during the TPR UK Tour in 2006. We had no idea what the ride was and were quite shocked when the canopy closed us in. "Eww! It's smellly in here!" It was also very slow moving. Idlewild's looks much better. All this and a TPR group hug--hoo, boy!

^^I saw it at the Del Puerto in downtown Patterson, Calif. I have it on DVD, too. It hasn't aged well, although I still think the Hyperion is a cool airship.

You wants Rage in a Cage? Then you gets Rage in a Cage! But first, more from Cafe Mickey. One last look at Sleeping Beauty's Castle. Thanks for a great time, Paris Disney! And thank you Robb and Elissa for another great TPR tour! Aw, such a pretty pile of Vekoma crap. Let's close with a few shots of the park after dark. See? He's much happier now! "IT'S SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!" Larry looks so sad. He needs the "Happiest Voyage that Ever Sailed." . . . Rage in a Cage! So, you missed the pay per view? Too bad! The match was so brutal, the carnage so extreme, that they'll never let us show this one again! OK, wrestling fans! Here's what you've been waiting for! Hoffman! Bitner! It's time for . . . I hereby certify that these are bonafide metal bars--just like back in Space Prison. Yes, it's time! Back to Adventureland! Back to Paris Disneyland. The Studios park is definitely moving in the right direction--all they need is one or two more major attractions. "Pilot to bombadier! Approaching Agrapha! Open bomb-bay doors!" "OK, I changed my mind! This is now the bestest ride ever!" "Wait a minute! What kinda movie are we makin' here?" "Lights! Camera! Action!" "This is the bestest ride ever!" These cars get really close together as they whip around--lots of near misses. After a very nice dinner, Team Larry headed back to the Studios, hoping for one more ride on Crush. But the line was huge, so we settled for the Cars Road Rally. And now, the gracious host of Cafe Mickey (er, he's the one on the left). "OK. with me as your manager, there's no way you can lose that cage match tonight!" What do you think, Larry? Er, Gephetto is making me feel very uncomfortable. I think he's a bit of a perv. Hmm--which one is Baloo? As did other hats. (That's Brother Bear, in case you were curious.) Rich's Notre Dame hat really made the rounds that night. "What? Lou is here? She's my favorite British porn star! Can I get my picture taken with her?"

Still to come--Rage in a Cage! I've never been into these "character-dining" experiences, but this one was a lot of fun. By the way, Big Mike, this is Mr. Smee. He is not a dwarf. He is a pirate. One more set of pics to come. Time for the TPR farewell dinner at Cafe Mickey in the Disney Village. We checked out Cinemagique. You will believe that a hot chick can fall in love with Martin Short (after he's been shot at, punched out, and nearly blown up). Team Larry wandered back to the Studios for a while. . . . to Nemo's organ. (Er, pipe organ, that is--get your minds out of the gutter!) . . . from the airlock . . . It really is a perfect replica of the sub from the old movie, . . . It has a huge, rather empty queue. Here's my favorite of the bunch--the Nautilus. . . . which we found, much to Mickey's regret. We went back to Main Street in search of food, . . . You file past miniature dioramas from the movie (like the Sleeping Beauty's Castle walkthrough in California). The Aladdin walkthrough is unique to this park, I think. Only this one give you a nice view of the Temple of Extreme Discomfort and Excruciating Pain. The Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse was pretty much like the one in Florida. But it could really use the "Pirate's Lair" treatment (like at California DL). Aye, it looks rather "piratey" and all. Larry and I checked out the park's waltkthough attractions, such as Adventure Isle. Like its California cousin, Paris's version of Casey Jr. takes you around the elaborate miniatures of Storybookland. Yes, it only you could see what was going on in that cage right now! It took every Disney security guard in the park to keep "Rage in a Cage" from breaking out on Casey Jr.! "Not a credit? Wake us when it's over." Time for Casey "not a credit" Jr.

Just to let you know, my photos are posted "mix-and-match" style from the two days we spent at Paris Disney. So, you might notice a "continuity error" here and there. Here's day two. Fire in the hole! More to come from Paris Disneyland. Oh no! The kids in that bus are gonna die! Close the drawbridge, quick! Yep--looks like it's time for the "Happiest Cruise that Ever Sailed." Hmm--not sure I like the looks of this. Yeah, like there's anything bashful about that bunch. "Just wave at the TPR people, and maybe they'll leave quietly." "You know what I'm gonna do, Hoffman? I'm gonna grate your thin 'n' pretty face like a block of cheese with these bars!" "Oh yeah? We'll you'll be eatin' your strained peas through an IV by the time I'm through with you, Bitner!" Hmm--I think this is French for "Really Scary Ride that's Full of Monster Trees, Vultures, and Death." Luminere is the park's special 15th-anniversary host. (Well, he is French, so it makes sense.) I think it's the best of the Big Thunders. And it's great! This ride's layout is huge. . . . for our Big Thunder ERT! Robb contacted everybody about meeting on Main Street at 9:45 . . . Whew! Made it! Godspeed, Space Cadet Ryan! I can't hold her! She's breaking up! She's breaking up! Space Mountain in visual range! Arm photon torpedoes! I decided to check out the Orbitron (hardly any line thanks to early entry for resort guests). I was able to really boost my score, thanks to some timely coaching from Captain Larry. You know, Buzz Lightyear is probably the best attraction in Discoveryland. Larry and I rode S&M again, just to check out the front seat. It was a major mistake. More Magical Morning madness at Paris Disneyland.

Walt Disney Studios, take 2. Well, not quite. We'll be back for a bit more tomorrow. But, for now, back to Disneyland. The end of the world, like any other major social event, requires good grooming. You know, if you hire a lawn-mowing service, and they show up with one of these rigs, you might want to reconsider. Well, after you've survived the Twilight Zone, what's left but the end of the world as we know it? Weird scenes inside the Fifth Dimension. But, hell, any ToT is good ToT, sez I. . . . not to mention atmosphere to burn (or boil). With some clever added touches here and there . . . Yeah, it's a clone of the California version. At last, it was time to use our Fast Passes. But it is a lot of fun--the best wild mouse of the trip. Even with continuous loading, this ride's capacity is pretty low. Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky at morning, sailor take warning! "Mine? Mine?" (Well, someone hadda say it.) At least there's some entertaining themeing while you wait. Well, the line wasn't getting any shorter. So we girded our loins and queued up for Crush's Coaster. Turned out to be a really good ride, though. Here's everyone's favorite Disney attraction that features recovering heroin addicts.

And now one of the most pleasant surprises of the TPR Europe Trip--the Studios park. Then throw in even more fire! More to come from the Studios. Then set some guy on fire! Hmm--here's we can make this show even better. First, have a guy fall off a building. And that's having two cars do it. You know, there's one thing better than having one car do this. And let's not forget our Special Guest Star, Herbie, the Love Bug. (A bit of trivia: In the original movie, the bad guy pours Irish coffee in Herbie's carbareutor to make him drunk. On the story record I had when I was a kid, it was whipped cream.) Hmm--looks like the traffic around the Arc de Triomphe. First, this motorcyclist does a little attention whoring. Next up, the car stunt show. It's very good. Don't worry--we weren't. . . . they'll love it twice!" "Hmm--if those people liked fire once, . . . Not to mention water! But hey, there's fire! Oh, the dry, subtle wit of those Imagineers! Hmm--I'm guessing "Catastrophe Canyon" is just up ahead. I think this was a set from Dinotopia. "It was a rough mission. Panzers had our boys pinned down somewhere outside Fresno, and we had to fly in low and fast under their radar, guns a'blazin'! Too bad there weren't really any panzers near Fresno. Don't think that farmer will ever forgive us for strafin' his cows and blowin' up his tractor." Random props from something or other. Or maybe they were just lawn statues. "Why do I always get stuck with the clapper? And why are we listing to the right?" Hmm--where have I seen this type of conveyance before? It's not the Universal Studios Tour, nor is it an amazing simulation. Fast Passes go pretty fast for ToT--we had about three or four hours to kill, as I recall. Hmm--I do believe we've found a Hidden Mickey! Chris--we need a ruling. Nice use of forced perspective, I think. Now, don't be fooled and walk into the wall here, you silly tourists. The enclosed "Main Street" section is quite nice--if rather small. "Welcome to Walt Disney Studios! Not an actual movie studio, but an amazing simulation!"

We now return to Paris Disneyland, which was once already in progress. "Hey, TPR people! Tell Jahan that we penguins say 'hi'--and that we're coming for him! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Next up, a look at Walt Disney Studios. "Oh my god, Mother! Blood! Blood!" "Oh, Norman, quit being such a pansy and fix me a toasted-cheese sandwich." "Wanted: Maid and Butler, preferably nonsmokers, to wait hand and foot on rich, arrogant jerks who will treat them worse than dogs. Must be willing to die on command and to continue serving their masters--in hell!" Hmm--don't be so sure about that. You can learn so much from Phantom Manor's graveyard. Looks like even ghosts have mother-in-law problems. Yeah, this picture is pretty blurry--and all the more ghostly for it, right? Lo-o-o-o-k into my eyes! But Phantom Manor is open for business--and it's great! We looked wistfully at the park's good coaster, but it was broken down. Sigh . . . "Professor Jones! Help me!" "You're on your own, kid." "Yeah! You'll be begging for me to bite you after you ride this!" "Oh, I am so gonna curse you coaster dorks." Time for Indiana Jones and the Temple of OW! But not fast enough for this poor swab. This had the longest freakin' queue (also the best themed) I've ever seen for any of these rides. The line moved pretty quickly, though. They wouldn't let us drive the Coke truck to POTC, though--"bad show," I guess. Hey, just call me delicious and refreshing.

Chapter 14: Well, It's No Walygator, but What're Ya Gonna Do?--Paris Disney As the pirates say, we put our rudder to Walygator, n'er to return, after voting against staying for our ERT session on Anaconda. (Yes, it was that bad.) But at least that got us to the Paris Disney Resort all the earlier. . . . . . only to wait for over an hour to check into the Hotel Santa Fe--yes, the service was that slow. But that was my only real complaint about the accomodations there. Even though this was one of the resort's "budget" hotels, I thought that the room was pretty nice, the breakfast was pretty good, and the funky Southwest themeing was fine. One nice touch was making the main building resemble a desert drive-in movie theatre. Paris Disneyland was my second favorite park of the trip (next to Europa), and the Walt Disney Studios Park, which has received quite a bad rap, was a very pleasant surprise. DL has the usual mix of themed lands you find in the other "Magic Kingdom" parks, with some variations. Discoveryland takes a look back at the future as it was envisioned by Jules Verne. Fantasyland reminded me of California's version, only larger. Adventureland has the best version of Pirates of the Caribbean, while Frontierland's Big Thunder Mountain and Phantom Manor (nee Haunted Mansion) are also the best versions of those Disney classics. Paris DL does, indeed, have a lot going for it. But there are a few problems. The park has two of the worst coasters anywhere, and the customer service, it seemed to me, wasn't quite up to the level of what you find in Tokyo, Florida, or California (the serivce wasn't bad, it was just a little "off"). Food selections were a bit weak, too--not to mention expensive. Still, I had a great time there, as I did at the Studios. The interactive show Stitch Live was suprisingly good, even if Stitch did give it away that we had previously met at "Space Prison." (Yes, I'm a very dangerous man according to Stitch.) The car stunt show, although unevenly paced, is great, as is Cinemagique, a bizarre journey through and in the movies starring Martin Short. And, of course, let's not forget the Tower of Terror; sure, it's a clone of the California version, but any version of ToT is a helluva lot of fun. The new Pixar themed area is small, but well done. One or two "big name" attractions would put this park over the top. Here's how the coasters at both parks stack up: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (DL)--Yeah, this is the king of the Disney mine trains, I think. The layout is huge, and it's island setting is unique. Plus, Disney gave us surprise ERT before the ride opened to the general public, which is pretty rare. Thanks to Paris Disneyland and to R&E for arranging this unxpected perk. Crush's Coaster (WDS)--Here's was another very pleasant surprise. This mostly indoor/slightly outdoor spinning mouse was great, with a very nice "dark ride" section at the beginning and very disorienting lighting effects during the rest. The only drawback? The incredibly huge, slow-moving queue. If only they'd built more than one track. Rock 'n' Roller Coaster (WDS)--This Vekoma launched coaster is a bit rougher than it's Florida cousin, but still fun. The lighting pacakge on the trains and in the building is great and adds another dimension to the ride. (Still, I do kind of like Florida's cheesy cutouts of SoCAL landmarks.) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Peril (DL)--OK, what the hell is Intamin doing building a Pinfari ride? This is essentially a carnival looper on steroids with nice Asian-temple themeing, uncomfotable trains, and a rough ride. Still, I'd rather ride this than . . . Space Mountain: Mission 2 (DL)--The mountain is beautiful (particularly at night), the music is good, and the space effects are fun. However, the ride is just flash-fried Vekoma launched crap--rough and painful no matter where you sit. What the hell were they thinking? All the other Space Mountains stomp all over this thing. A damn shame. Enough yakking--here's a look at Paris Disney. You know, that turtle seems to be enjoying this way too much, and the raccoons are quite concerned. More to come later. "Of course, there is a bit of a pest problem in the basement." "Maleficient and Company Real Estate thanks you for coming to our open house today! Let's have a look at this beautiful property, shall we? Why, this castle is worth it for the stained glass alone!" "We're going to the Candy Mountain!" My god! Rich and Melanie have caused a total eclipse of the sun! "Hmm--five people crammed into one pirate ship. Tink, we need more pixie dust! And you people better start thinkin' really freakin' happy thoughts!" Hmm--Deja Vu, indeed. Where have I seen this before? "Well, that's the one thing you've got right, so far." Angus McNasty could so kick the Chesire Cat's butt. I think this is the most beautiful castle of the Disney parks. Quick--name the obscure Disney movie that inspired this restaurant. If S&M: Mission 2 needs a new sponsor, I recommend the makers of this fine product. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Almost there! "No novocaine--it dulls the senses." And check out that launch! This is gonna be so freakin' awesome! The Jules Verne-themed mountain is quite cool. Yes, it looks so inviting, doesn't it? The castle was all decked out for the park's 15th anniversary. Looking down Main Street USA at Sleeping Beauty's Castle. Like at Tokyo Disney, a luxury hotel serves as the park's entrance. First up, early entry at Disneyland for hotel guests. Yeah, that's nice--time for bed. We checked out the Disney Village, the shopping and dining area with balls. Lots of flaming, red-hot balls! As did everybody else. Holy crap! Here's where we went. I wish I could say we took a balloon to some sort of magical restaurant, where angels served us mountains of chocolate and rivers of champagne. But that would be a lie. "Go ahead--make my breakfast!"

I think Elissa won a rousing round of "Whack-a-Hun" at BGE last Tuesday, too (I wasn't even close to winning, which isn't unusual). Falafel, the unicorn hat is so "you."

Hey, the Crocs got Falafel through the Japan trip--don't knock the Crocs!

^^Well done, Luko. I've heard stories about skunk encounters at KD before; apparently, there used to be a family of polecats living under Grizzly.

Yes, let's get this thread back on track. We saw a big skunk walking through the Congo section of Kings Dominion today--it scampered off behind the bushes in front of the Trail's End Grill. Didn't have my camera handy, but I think someone got a picture of it.

Good video, Erik--glad that you had a good time up north. I'm meeting the East Coast crew at Euroburg tomorrow.

Couldn't you stand on an orange crate and see most of Central Florida?

^Word was that he wasn't happy that South Park was going ot make fun of Scientology (it really is the most humor impaired of all "religions," I think). The soundtrack from Shaft was great album.

I think Emerson summed it up best when he wrote "a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." In other words, I don't believe that one side, left or right, "red" or "blue," has all the answers. The truth is most likely to be found somewhere in the middle.

Excuse me? I have no idea what you're getting at here. What is your question?

I think Silver Bullet is an "OK" ride, but nothing special; plus, I hate how it dominates the skyline over Ghost town--it just looks out of place there.

I'm looking forward to hanging out the the East Coast crew at Euroburg and KD tomorrow and Wednesday.

Natalie, I think you may have hit on a new product for the TPR Store--official TPR Sports Bras! Official TPR Cups, suitable for protection on Intamin "bicycle seat" drop towers and Togo stand-up coasters, would be a great companion product for the guys.

It's tempting to answer "Xcelerator" and "Knott's" here, but as much as I have been distressed at how this park has been run in recent years, the optimist in me hopes that it can be saved.

The cave after you enter the queue for Kings Dominion's Volcano used to be spotted with gum. It would reek of spearmint and Juicy Fruit on a hot day (of which there are many at KD). Trimper's haunted-house ride has a "gum bat," as well as gum bang doors. "Gum Bang Doors" would be a great name for a band (or an exotic dancer). Gum bang doors Gum bat