cfc

This argument is pretty silly if you say it out loud a couple of times. Why WOULDNT they win year after year? If something is good enough to win say.. best wooden coaster of the year, it seems to me that unless the coaster is destroyed, changes dramatically, or something else better comes along, it's going to win that award multiple times (possibly in a row). The same mindset applies with the more general park awards. Take the landscaping award. Unless BGE went to hell, another park opened or majorly stepped up it's game, BGE is likely to win that award in successive years. Of course with all things in 'power ranking' you'll see some flip flopping, but it will generally remain the same week to week, or in this case, year to year. Hmm--that would depend on whether one thinks those parks should've won those awards in the first place. And it could be that many who vote in this poll just, by reflex, vote for the same parks in the same categories every year. The poll itself encourges this to happen by providing a list of the same "nominees" year after year.

I never even noticed. Sorry about that, Va. Jackie!

It looks like a truck chassis with an old oil drum mounted on it.

^I vote in this poll and I'm not "in the industry."

"On Wisconsin!"--then on to one other place. Mt. Olympus's water park is actually the most heavily themed area of the place. This is the only clear picture I got of Opa. For god's sake, do not step here! Oooo. . . it's an Opa rave! I think Mt. Olympus is the only park anywhere that sells socks in a vending machine. I asked Zoltar to tell me my fortune. He said I should buy socks. Now that's synergy! Poseidon's Rage is the most insane wave pool I've ever seen. Why so much rage, Poseidon? Could it be because Cyclops got a roller coaster, while all you got was a go-kart track? Pegasus is a nice-enough family coaster. That's all I have to say. This gentleman may have had a "vision," which led to an "empire" . . . . . . but it's really all about you, Bryan! ISN'T IT? ISN'T IT? Actually, I think the Dells is all about this ride. Yes, it's all about Avalanche . . . . . . er, Hellcat . . . . . . or maybe just "roller coaster." Whatever the name, it's a great ride. Grease 'er up good, gents! Thanks! Acknowledged. "It's still all about me! Me, I tell you!" S&S came up with a winner here. I think they look much happier than they did on Hades. Any mini-golf course would be proud to have this ride. Time for a surprise bonus credit. I'm sure it'll be something spectacular. And it is! Miner Mike at Knuckleheads! Must . . . hold . . . on . . . the . . . forces . . . devastating . . . "Whee! Can we ride this all day?" That's all for now. The last day is to come.

Well, there's a pro football game on the in the background, and I'm down to my last bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale--may as well write another chapter. Chapter 10: The Stately Vacation Home of the Gods?--The Wisconsin Dells If you were Zeus, the all-powerful father of all the Greek gods, and had your choice of the entire universe to visit during your vacation, would you choose: 1. The beaches of Hawaii 2. The majestic Alps 3. Vegas 4. Wisconsin Evidently, you would choose option 4. Yes, the father of who-knows-how-many gods and demigods must be a wooden coaster enthusiast--and he likes 'em rough (just ask some of the mortal beauties he's shacked up with over the eons). This was the second-to-last day of TPR's Mid-America Trip, and I was looking forward to it--a bit. After all, outside of reading about the Dells on TPR, and hearing jokes about the place on Mystery Science Theater 3000, I'd never given Wisconsin much thought. And after I write this part of my trip report, I doubt I'll give it much more thought, at least until it's time to fill out my 2010 Hawker poll ballot. Actually, the Dells, and the area's main park, Mt. Olympus, were pretty much what I'd expected--pretty, but touristy, with minimal theming. (Zeus must be more of a "traditional" park kind of god.) The coasters, with one notable exception, range from rough to kind of dull. The exception isn't even at Mt. Olympus: Hell Cat--Or is that "Avalanche"? Whatever. The best coaster in Wisconsin actually makes two laps around a mini-golf course (Timberfalls Adventure Park). This S&S woodie is a little rough, but this is overruled by the insane airtime it delivers. Seriously, this ride is great, and another top-ten contender for me. (I think this is the actual "NASCAR" coaster as it makes only left turns.) Hades--It's gets tougher and rougher now. This is the coaster that tunnels under Mt. Olympus's parking lot, and those tunnels are the best part. But the rest of this ride is like going a few rounds with George Foreman in his prime, then getting pile-drived by the Undertaker--prepare for a pummelling. That being said, some of our group absolutely loved Hades. There is some pretty crazy airtime on it, but I'm just not sure that it's worth getting beaten to death for it. Cyclops--This is the coaster with one of the most insane moments of ejector air anywhere in the backseat during one drop; unfortunately, that's about all it has. The rest of the ride is "meh" at best, and simply a build up to that one moment of glory. Zeus--I remember almost nothing about this ride. It made very little impression on me. Pegasus--An OK family woodie with a very jarring turn into its station at the end (the most memorable moment on it). Opa--This is a "gradually revolving" mouse located indoors. Air conditioning is its best feature. You've probably gathered that I wasn't too impressed with the Dells. This doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy myself. When it comes the TPR, the people make all the difference, and I kind of liked the cheese curds. Besides, it was "It's All About Bryan Day"! Yes, this was Bryan's opportunity to relive the most memorable day in his young life thus far (it first happened at the Dells in 2007). So, here's another look at "It's All About Bryan Day"--and the Wisconsin Dells. All hail Mt. Olympus, the stately home of Zeus, where the godlike Ambrosia comes in the form of deep-fried cheese balls! This is also the home of "Power Packers." Yes, Bryan, the whole world now knows that it's all about you. TPR waits for the gates of Hell (or Hades) to open. "That's it, Adam! Look sexy for the camera! Work with me, baby!" While we were waiting, this accident occured. Both cars burst into flames before paramedics could get there! It was the most horrible thing I've ever witnessed! (OK, I'm lying--no flames were involved, much less paramedics.) This sign is not an exaggeration. "Behold the rules, o unfortunate ones!" Jake ended up really liking Hades. TPDave doesn't look too sure. "Yay! We're gonna ride to Hell!" The real "Highway to Hell" begins. Did you remember to bring a coin for Charon, the Ferryman? No, without at least a quarter, you can't cross the River Styx, I'm afraid. Now come back when you have some change. I think this sums up the reactions of the group to Hades pretty well. OK, what did this ride do, again? I vaguely remember it rolling around here. Then it went up there and did . . . something. Oh, that's right! Then it came back. Either that's one hell of a unibrow, or this is an eye with bat wings. "Duh . . . me Cyclops! Me got rules an' stuff like my dad, Zeus. I also got a gold toof." Understood. I didn't see them card anybody, though. OK, they appear to be old enough. They seem mature enough, too. Hmm--I'm afraid that I'll have to see your ID, please. Behold, the Airgates of the Gods! Only the Gods may see and ride the true last train of Cyclops! This ride is nothing but a prelude . . . . . . an "introduction," if you will . . . . . . to one . . . . . . supreme moment of . . . . . . of glory! One more set of Dells pics to come.

I think "Hooligans" used to be a Scooby-Doo shop. Hanno, you certainly snagged some interesting shots, as usual--particularly the girl checking herself out in the parking lot.

No backseat moderating, please--thank you.

^Looks like Scott is seriously into holding that bra, too! He's grinning like a demon.

^^It's in a gift shop, but I can't remember the name of the place. As you enter the park, walk to your right past the carousel and under the railroad tracks. The gift shop will be on the right, across from a gazebo. And thank you. ^Go and snag that credit, Barry!

^Seconded. I've ridden Desperado in three different languages and never had a problem understanding what I was supposed to do. I think Desperado is great--but to each his or her own.

Time for one last look at Six Flags Great America. Shall we start this segment with a backstage look at Raging Bull? Do you have a choice? As I said earlier, I was not impressed with this ride initially. But it did grow on me during nighttime ERT. Two trains at once! King of the World, Ma! Again, these are views that you can't get in guest areas. I admit that I'm a sucker for high overbanked turns. Swoopy, near-ground-level overbanked turns are fun, too. They're just so, well, curvy and stuff. (Yeah, got nothin' here--sorry.) "Come on--dispatch another train, dammit!" Yes, Raging Bull is quite photogenic. Once again, two trains at once! On your knees, knaves! Viper is just damn good. All the "CyClones" should be this good. Nighttime ERT after the rain was amazing! And who doesn't love to "double down"? One last look at the Great America's best ride. A welcome relief--water! "OK, no need to be blue, but it's time to go." OK, I lied--here's one last look at Viper. I found this ride to be a bit underrated, but even with a QBot, the wait was a good 25 minutes. I'd been looking forward to riding this all day. And I wasn't disappointed. It's as good at the one in California used to be. Hmm--not sure I'd want to work at the "Crazy Devil" mine. This is supposed to be an "ore excavator." Not sure that form is following function here, though. Time for a bit more deja vu. Yep--looks familiar. I miss the old Tidal Wave shuttle loop that used to be at California's Great America. Hmm--not looking good for our Little Dipper ERT. "Eternal skies, send me beer!" Yep--a bit stormy . . . . . . but Robb is passing around Dan's new porn during the covered-bridge party, so all is well. My god! The rain has driven Dan mad! "You could lose your mind! When coaster enthusiasts are two of a kind!" OK, storm's over--and Viper is nice 'n' slick for ya, now! As is Raging Bull. Raging Bull's station--in the dark! You're petrifed with fear! Admit it! Time for some sleep after a great ERT session--and an excellent day! Thank you, Great America!

Time for a walk around Six Flags Great America--literally. Kristen is thinking, "Where are these wackos taking me this time?" Through the uber secret door, kid! You can get some good views of Superman backstage. Another forbidden look at the Man of Steel! Kristen wonders, "What the hell am I doing here?" A ramdom vent that blows cold air--every park needs these! Earlier, I stated that there would be no "porn"; therefore, I deeply apologize for this picture. There are either deflated rapids-ride tubes or King Kong's spent condoms. "We're on the Highway to Hell!" Looks like Gossamer is waiting for the next bus to Hell. "Great horny toads! That varmint done gone too far this time! I hate that rabbit!" Some spooky, Fright Fest-related stuff. Somehow, this is even more disturbing. Ask not at whom the Fickle Finger of Fate points! It points at thee! Great America has a fairly extensive nursery. If I move, this entire structure could collapse! Which would mean absolutely nothing. Remembrance of kiddie rides past . . . Suddenly, I feel a mysterious tremor in the Force! I fear something terrible has happened--and it has! They're riding Iron Wolf! What're you lookin' at, Jo? A rare look down the train tracks. "Sticky Fingers"? Well, to that I say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, woooo!" "And that means you, varmints!" Off to the next uber secret area. Just in case you forgot where we are. This backstage area provided great views of American Eagle (shown here), Raging Bull, and Viper. Another of Eagle's "good" parts. Why so blue, Josh? You should try to be insanely happy, like Jeff here. SF Great America speaks fluent "Dude." I'm happy to say that no TPR members were arrested during this tour. This doesn't mean that they weren't thinking "naughty" thoughts, though. Two of the people in this photo are newlyweds--do you know which two? One more set of pics to come.

Thanks for the comments everyone--always nice to know that somebody actually plows through my nonsense. Chapter 9: I Have Been Here, Yet I Have Not--Six Flags Great America We survived the wrenching drama that was Dinocroc vs. Supergator, not to mention the most aggressive mosquitoes anywhere, before spending a great day at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois. This park brought on a serious case of deja vu (and I don't mean the Vekoma ride) for me. I felt like I'd been here before . . . And, in a way, I had. I grew up in central California, and when I was 16 years old, Marriott opened their two, mirror-image Great America parks: one in Santa Clara, about two hours from my house, and the other in Gurnee, which was a considerably longer drive. The parks have gone in two different directions, with a slew of different owners, since then. The last time I visited California's Great America was during the Paramount regime, and much had changed by then (for example, we didn't have Klingons wandering around the park when I was a teenager). I haven't been there since Cedar Fair took over. I was quite happy that Six Flags Great America retained a lot of what I liked about the old park in Santa Clara. Although some of the theming seems a bit "random" now, such as the addition of Superman to what was the park's "New Orleans" section, much of the old Marriott park was still there, including the train and what used to be called Willard's Whizzer (I guess Willard was laid off or retired). This park was great, second only to Silver Dollar City. They treated us very well (the backstage tour was particularly cool) and our ERT session, despite being interrupted by a thunderstorm, was excellent. The park's coaster line up was one of the strongest of the whole Mid-America Trip: Viper--When I first rode the Georgia Cyclone earlier this year, I thought, "If only they could solve that serious shuffling problem, this could be a great ride." Well, it appears that Six Flags did. This "CyClone" was excellent! It runs quite smoothly, and there's plenty of airtime throughout. This could hit my top ten the year. Batman--This is the one that started it all for Six Flags. And, like its cousins elsewhere, it's a great, intense ride. Raging Bull--I must admit that I wasn't too impressed with this ride when I rode it that afternoon. The backseat airtime during the first drop was great, but then you hit the first set of trims. However, it grew on me during nighttime ERT and I ended up liking it--just not as much as other big B&M rides (still better than Silver Star, though). Whizzer--I'm very glad that Six Flags kept this old Schwarzkopf, with its unusual spiral lift and rocket-shaped trains (the California version was removed following a fatal accident). This fine family ride has aged beautifully. It was good to hear during our Q&A session that Whizzer runs very well and is relatively easy to maintain; therefore, it's not going anywhere, rumors to the contrary. Superman: Ultimate Flight--This is another one of Six Flags' "franchise" rides, and it's pretty good (although not up to the level of Manta or Tatsu among flyers). Dark Knight--OK, I know many have found this "mouse in a box" underwhelming, but I really enjoyed it. The queue is well themed, and the effects on the ride itself seemed to be working very well that day. Granted, it's hardly a "Disney-level" dark ride, but it's pretty good for Six Flags. Vertical Velocity--This was my first, twisty Intamin impulse coaster. It's pretty scary when you reach the top of those spikes. America Eagle--This wooden coaster is a bit of a "Jeckyl and Hyde." The hills are fun, but the helices are hell. Demon--Well, I can now say that I've ridden both versions of the Demon, if not both versions of the Turn of the Century. It's a rough old Arrow, but at least the lights in the tunnels work. Little Dipper--This is the park's "new" coaster. I was glad that Six Flags bought this little wooden coaster from the now defunct Kiddieland. It's a nice ride and deserves a better fate than the wrecking ball. Ragin' Cajun--OK, here's a spinning mouse that actually spins (I had avoided this earlier in the trip). Let's say that I felt like I'd been on a Mardi Gras bender when it was over. Spacely's Sprocket Rockets--Vekoma makes good kiddie coasters, and this one is no exception. Well themed, especially of you're a fan of The Jetsons, and a much more enjoyable ride than . . . Iron Wolf--Well, not everyone gets it right when they start out, and B&M is no exception. This stand-up coaster is the first B&M ride anywhere, and, god, is it bad--rough and painful. They had nowhere to go but up after this--and they did. This was a great day at a great park--possibly my favorite in the Six Flags chain. Many of us required transfusions after having our blood sucked by hungry mosquitoes the night before. But we all made it to Great America. First up, an early-morning walkback to Superman. I think everyone enjoyed riding the Man of Steel . . . er . . . enjoyed their ride on Superman . . . er . . . enjoyed this ride. Olivier, Jason, and Jon are ready to twirl and hurl on Ragin' Cajun. Yes, all of TPR was looking forward to reliving their breakfast, then picking up thir QBots from Elissa at the exit. "Duh . . . I'm king of the gators . . . duh . . . yes I am . . ." What? This is an outrage! I'm going to guest relations right now . . . wait--this is for us? Never mind. It was orignally built for $20,000. Six Flags bought it at auction for $30,000--beats spending $1,000,000. I'm glad my QBot buddies (Martin, Cheryl, and Lauren) and I rode this one early, as a thunderstorm had a say in our ERT that night. "Jetson-n-n-n-n-n! . . . . . . You're fired!" The ride of the future--today! Looks like Hanna-Barbera puked all over this part of the park. Yoinks! That's the scariest case of ear wax I've ever seen, Scoob! Hmm--suddenly, I feel 16 years old again. Passed quickly, though. "Hello. I'm still an endangered species. If I had a broken wing, I'd be at Busch Gardens." This is one of American Eagle's "whee" bits. I think this is just before one of the not-so-much-fun bits. Well, time to get this over with, I guess. Just keep saying this to yourself: . . . . . . "It's just another credit. It's just another credit." Then think about happy bunnies hopping across a green meadow. You'll be OK. This was much better than my first Intamin impulse coaster--Linear Gale in Japan. This part reminds me of a dirty poem I heard in jr. high--something about a man with a corkscrew-shaped member. He was looking for a particular type of woman, as I recall. This is Batman. You've seen this before. Please move along. As usual, the loops are the smoothest part of your average Arrow "loopscrew." That isn't saying much for this part of the Demon, though. Hmm--I think lunch is around here somwehere. Sheesh! Why do they make this so difficult? Hey--any of you guys know where lunch is? "OK, listen up, TPR! I have some very important announcements . . . wait, is that new porn?" Much more to come (not porn--pics from Great America).

^^In a way it's kind of sad, because I always liked the mosaics and the big "hubcap." But the plans for the park's new "Main Street" look nice.

I imagine Cavern of Darkness is out becuase they want to keep Europe in the Air running during Howl-o-Scream (the second half of that maze was pretty weak, anyway).

If I didn't have houseguests coming to visit me that weekend, I would seriously consider flying out for this--it's a great deal!

Let me guess.. because he's taking the pictures??? Hanno does show up in surprising places, though.

It's just a teaser, dude. Relax. As for me, I'll definitely be there on September 18. It's good to hear that Water Country will be getting some new stuff, as well.

There's still some more to see, you know. Rode the Paratrooper, but missed the Flyers. "Why don't we call it 'The Tornado.'" "Naw. This is the Midwest. That's too obvious." Are we ready for this? How nice! Two trains at once! I rule! "Would someone please pull my finger? I feel like I'm gonna explode, here!" No one pulled Josh's finger, and no one exploded. It was a good day. "This here's Steel Hawg." "We were drinking pitchers of Miller when we came up with that name. This here is one of the Hawg's fun parts." "Now, by 'fun parts,' I don't mean parts a pig uses to 'have fun,' if ya gets my meanin'." Here's another one of IB's offbeat attractions: savage carp that can probably swallow babies whole! Arr! I senses some skullduggery ahead! Aye, a scurvier scallywag I'll never see, sez I. Avast! I stands corrected! "Step lively mates! Stow yer gear afore ye board!" "Be ye under 350 pounds thar? I daresay ye be! Good sailin', me hearties!" Dr. Frankenstein sure got around--Germany, Transylvania, Venice Beach (where he met Dracula, according to director Al Adamson), and now Indiana Beach! Yes, there are many frightening and disturbing things in Frankenstein's Castle, such as . . . . . . scary air conditioning! "What we need now is fresh, young blood . . . and brains." When in Indiana, you gotta ride IB's Chair Swings. It's a state law. A shooting gallery--of TERROR! Kyle takes aim with his trusty blunderbuss . . . . . . and Dracula goes down! No wonder elephants need protecton from poachers--they're delicious! This image would be especially poignant if it were rendered on black velvet. This dazzling array of prizes . . . . . . and so much more can be yours, if you play . . . . . . Fascination! Ya gots a dollah? Then ya can play! The intensity of competition! The sweat! The pain! Here you can savor the thrill of victory or . . . . . . endure the agony of defeat! Followed by the thrill of victory! Ever since TPDave became a Fascination superstar, he's been impossible to deal with. For some reason, I'm very amused that the Double Shot is near the Big Flush. I'm not sure why. Miles enjoys a private ERT session on the Chair Swings. One last look at Indiana Beach as we head to the bus. We have a long drive ahead of us . . . . . . but at least we have quality entertainment. That's all for now--Six Flags Great America is next.

^You assume correctly, sir. I second Daron's comment. Six Flags St. Louis is where deodorant goes to die! Thanks for all the kind words so far, everyone. But onward and upward . . . Chapter 8: The Blackpool of the Midwest?--Indiana Beach A beach-style boardwalk is probably the last thing you'd expect to find in the middle of Indiana. Now, a missile silo or an alien-landing site wouldn't be beyond the pale. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there were aliens wandering around Indiana Beach right now, thanks to its remote location in the nation's heartland. IB beings a touch of Blackpool Pleasure Beach to the Midwest, with rides stacked on top of each other or tucked away into odd nooks and crannies, a crazy assortment of park food (the elephant ears are great, by the way), and an oddball staff and clientele. The personalities of the workers there are quite variable, ranging from rough around the edges but nice to, well, sort of "carny Nazi" like. I've heard a lot about IB over the years, and wasn't disappointed in the place. I appreciated the funky, old-school vibe it gave off, along with some of its more offbeat attractions, such as the Frankenstein's Castle walkthrough (not on the level of Hotel Gasten in Liseberg or Spookslot at Grona Lund, but still lots of fun). The coaster line up is pretty strong, too. Cornball Express--This was one of my favorite wooden coasters of the trip. Not the biggest or the tallest, but completely insane with plenty of airtime. Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain--This converted dark ride is one of the weirdest coasters I've ever ridden. The layout makes no sense at all, and the trains are like a caged Texas Death Match on wheels; yet this ride is irresistible as it rumbles through its little mountain and lurches around the track. Hoosier Hurricane--A nice, old-fashioned wooden coaster with a somewhat eccentric layout. It's a bit rough, but that's part of its charm. Steel Hawg--I was both dreading and looking forward to this ride, and I'm still of two minds about it. I hated the restraint system with its odd, useless grab bars and and tight OTSRs, but I loved many of the ride elements (it makes some pretty impressive flips and turns). Galaxie--The park's old Zyklon is shockingly good in the backseat, where it delivers some surprising airtime. Tig'rr Coaster--Good to see that another old Jet Star is still in operation, and that it's still fun. The park's two-level shooting dark ride, The Den of Lost Thieves, is a bit beat up, but its gags still work, and you can run up a pretty good score. I enjoyed IB's classic Chair Swings over the lake, and the Falling Star was absolutely insane. A round or two (or three or four) of Fascination is a must, as well. Time to amble about. Where the surf is never up, unless there's a tornado in the neighborhood. Proof that there's more than corn . . . no, that one's been done to death. Moving on. Is this the longest suspension bridge in Indiana? Looking to the left from the bridge: Hoosier Hurricane is the big white coaster, and Cornball Express is in the background. "Under the boardwalk, down by the sea . . ." OK, that doesn't work. We're on top of a boardwalk over a lake. TPR is now on a collision course with wackiness. I think this sign is part of Lost Coaster. It's a bit hard to tell with the way everything is stacked up at Indiana Beach. Whew! Good thing I left mine on the bus. "Naw--no slaw on that sammich. Thanks." (Actually, he was calling a tech to get the ride going for our ERT session. The sign to his left is going to become very significant in a moment.) Here we see a car in motion. And here we see a technician (read, "operator") going on the track and into the mountain! Those facing forward are saying, "What the hell?" Those facing backward are too busy slam dancing in their seat to say anything! "My god--what the hell is going on?" And the tech makes it out alive! Yay! Slam! Thud! Yes, it makes no sense at alll--but it's still great! Is this the park's best coaster? I think TPR votes "yea." "Wait, ya got teeth? Best spit 'em out afore ya ride!" Up and away! Cornball packs a wallop in a pretty tight space. I wasn't sure what to expect from it. Whee! Out of your seat here! "We're Theme Park Review, and we approve of this message!" "Indeed we do!" Anybody know what the hell this thing is? Looks like someone was trying to build an upright piano out of cinder blocks. Go on, ride the backseat of the Galaxie! I dare you! Schwarzkopf strikes again! His rides do have a hypnotic effect on some people. More to come.

BGW supposedly "discourages" adults without kids from riding Grover's Alpine Express when they're busy, but I have yet to see this enforced.

I like DarKastle a lot, but I do have one major gripe--I wish they would do something with that "chimney" area, where you just spin around in the dark. Maybe some lighting effects to simulate fire and smoke? I miss the preshow, but they quit using it to speed up the line.

As you can see, you really missed out by skipping Coney Beach's legendary Ghost Train. This is assuming that it hasn't been refurbed since 2006 (which is a pretty safe bet).

I was there awhile on Sunday to renew my pass, but left as it started to get crazy. I-305, Dominator, and Volcano had full queues after lunch, but that's a holiday weekend for you.