printersdevil78

After spending most of the day at Knott's, it was nice to get back to Disneyland (though as some of us discovered, Knott's has more in common with Disneyland than we thought--most notably "legal" line jumping). Because I had been to Disneyland more than a dozen times before, I wasn't in as much of a rush to get things done as some of the rest of the group. Instead, I spent most of the evening taking my time and enjoying some old favorite attractions. I also began limiting my picture-taking around this time because a) I already have plenty of Disneyland photos, and b) I was starting to run out of disc space with two full days of TPR craziness left! And with that, I headed back to the hotel for the evening. More Disneyland and our first day at Disney's California Adventure coming up! Sure, these confections look cool and all... but do you really want to eat a candy apple that represents Minnie Mouse's lower half? I rounded out the night with a quick spin on Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters. Sorry, no awesome cue pics because a) I have plenty already and b) there was no line, so I just zoomed right through with nary a thought of photos anyway. Ah, now this should draw the ladies to this TR! Also, the next attraction I rode was Pirates of the Caribbean. Which seems kind of counter-productive considering I literally dined right next to it before jetting halfway across the park to Small World. But that's just the way I roll. So... when did they move the Eiffel Tower to the U.K.? Ah, traditional Small World figures, circa 1964. I thought the Woody and Jessie figures were pretty cool... though I know plenty of Disney "purists" who disagree. Hi, Natalie! Actually, I found Lilo and Stitch to be the most obtrusive of all the Disney characters added to the ride... but since the attraction strangely treats Hawaii as a "foreign" country in the first place, I guess I can forgive this. This one had a special meaning. Ariel is Lauryn's favorite "princess," and I promised I would bring back plenty of pictures of her. The addition of the Disney characters were, for the most part, not as intrusive as I had feared. And I'm a "Three Cabilleros" fan, anyway. I've always liked this logo. I was kind of in a trance as I walked across the park to It's a Small World after that phone call. I'd like to say that I hoped listening to that song over and over and over again would brainwash me into not thinking about Lauryn, but truth be told, I kind of like Disneyland's Small World, and I hadn't seen it since the Disney characters were added, so I was actually looking forward to it. Had I been spending my "own" money, I probably would have stopped there. However, since I was paying for all non-TPR essentials with the Disney credit card rewards points I accumulated after having skipped my annual Disneyland trip last year to attend the Behemoth/Flyer Trip, I splurged on a monte cristo, as well. Just as I was finishing dinner, I got a text from my girlfriend that the vacation she and her 5-year-old daughter, Lauryn, were scheduled to embark on that evening had been postponed, and Lauryn was instead in the emergency room with what we feared at the time was swine flu. I paid my bill and ducked into the Court of Angels, one of the very few public places in Disneyland where you can be almost totally alone (I myself never would have known it was there had I not taken the Walk in Walt's Footsteps Tour a few years ago) to talk to her while they waited for test results. It was the only time during the trip that I wished I was home. If there is anything in this world better than a mint julep and pomme frites at Cafe Orleans, I don't want to know what it is. ...and the other! I actually unintentionally stayed long enough to have a rail-side seat for Fantasmic! that evening. This was the view from one side of my table... While waiting for my table, I also spotted this Lasster wine "Easter egg" in the window. Little did I know it would end up as part of the official TPR scavenger hunt. Looks like it's time to call the exterminator at this place.... I began my second evening at Disneyland at my favorite "land," New Orleans Square. While I would have loved to have dined at the Blue Bayou, I was actually waiting for my table at my favorite Disneyland restaurant, Cafe Orleans.

I had a previous engagement and got home to log in apparently just moments after the audio failed. However, I just listened to the entire thing, and I was blown away! I think future audio chats would be a tremendous idea, especially if it's possible to post them on the site afterward for people like me whose schedules tend to be unpredictable. Thanks, Robb and Elissa, for adding yet another layer of awesomeness to TPR!

Wow, I've never made a post that inspired pointless drama before! Agreeing to agree and/or disagree about the finer points of Knott's, we now move on to our last non-Disney park of the trip: Adventure City. I think this was the park Robb described as "one of those places you wish had been around when you were a kid." Nothing major, but fun for the little ones. He and Elissa also told us Adventure City was locked in a perpetual land battle, and as soon as the housing market rebounded, the park likely would be replaced by condos (boo!). While there wasn't much here for adults, per se, I'm glad I can say I visited the park while it still existed and even happier that I got to ride the Wild Mouse of Death and lived to tell the tale! Details below. "Now kids, before you get on this coaster, remember not to stare at all the big people who are riding it with you. It's not polite to judge others, no matter how 'different' they may be." The park's other credit, the Freeway Coaster, may not have been fancy... but at least it didn't seem like it was going to fall apart in mid-ride! The beam's not *that* low, Roxy! "When you get to the beam on the last drop, duck. You see it? It's... well, you'll see it!" For a better idea of how this looked when the car was on its way down, grab your monitor and shake! Treetop Racers is themed to look like a coaster built out of items from a scrap yard by a pair of 10-year-olds. To complete the illusion, they asked a pair of 10-year-olds to build the coaster with items they found in a scrap yard! And thus we come to Near Death: The Ride. Ain't no party like a Party Tree party 'cause a Party Tree party's in a tree! Llamas need lovin's, too. "Pet me! I dare you!" One last fire truck-turned-gift shop! Um... is it just me, or aren't crains supposed to be designed *not* to drop things? They had these awesome handcars like Idlewild! Oh, Crazy Bus... you so crazy! Stupid sun ruining my stupid shot of the stupid balloons.... OMG! Monster truck police cars! This Ferris wheel looks just a little too happy to see us. Is this what they mean by "pony play"? He's totally hot for this antique-looking kiddie train. Our final in-park Thomas of the trip! Apparently most adventures happen in clouds. Or maybe it's just that George Lucas already trademarked the name "Cloud City." I made one final purchase before heading back to the bus. These are still in my cupboard. Anyone know the expiration on crickets and worms? Next stop: Disneyland (followed by Disneyland and then another full day at Disneyland)! Inside, the owner "astounded" us with some card tricks! After I found some good deals at Hobby City's baseball card store, I joined some of the others at the magic shop. Only in California could an amusement park share its parking lot with... a gun shop! Having conquered Adventure City, many of us spent the balance of our time across the parking lot at Hobby City, which included this half-scale replica of the White House.

Wow, with that much anticipation, I'd better get to it! OK, so when I was 12, way back in 1990, my family took a two-week vacation to California, a highlight of which was a visit to Knott's Berry Farm. My, how times have changed. Despite some warnings by Robb and Elissa during the bus ride on the way to the park and my knowledge that this was no a (God no) Cedar Fair park, my expectations were still fairly high. My mistake. It didn't take long to dub this park "Knott Berry Good," and I wasn't alone in this estimation. I left the park 45 minutes before our scheduled departure to check out some other Knott attractions across the street and do some gift shopping, and there was already a disproportionately large contingent of TPR members either sitting outside the gates or scouring the parking lot in search of our bus. Note to Cedar Fair: When a large group of coaster enthusiasts, who are pre-dispositioned to enjoy your park, pay lots of money to come to your park and ultimately decide they'd rather spend part of their allotted time sitting outside your gates, wishing their bus would show up early instead of wasting another second inside your place of business... that's not good. Having said that, the fried chicken luncheon and free T-shirts were nice, and at least their group sales people made an attempt with the free photo passes (see photos for that and other stories). But ultimately, I agree with the song Elissa sang once we got back on the bus (sorry, if you weren't there, you missed it). Knott's was very, very easily the worst park in an otherwise very enjoyable trip. Observation No. 1: The claim that Knott's is "America's 1st Theme Park" is larger than the actual sign for the park itself. Observation No. 2: The sign painters misunderstood the directions and put "1st" instead of "Worst." "...now go home!" Honestly, Knotts did have some highlights and a couple of very nice employees... but most of its staff ranged from lethargic to just plane rude, and like most Cedar Fair parks, its policies were often illogical and never uniformly enforced. I guess what they say is true: You really can't go home again. Not even to Knott's Berry Farm. Next up: Adventure City! Just outside, some chickens were trying to escape from Mrs. Knott's restaurant! Unlike the authentic Independence Hall, the Knott's reproduction included larger-than-life wax dioramas of a couple historical events from the Revolutionary period. Truth be told, the real thing could probably use a few of those, as well, if only to hold the kids' interest. Once again, we have a park with a Liberty Bell fascination. This recreation allegedly weighs just five pounds less than the real thing. (The original is housed in a visitors' center across the street from the real Independence Hall, not inside it.) The Continental Congress meeting room was the only room fully recreated inside. As far as I could tell, this was 100 percent authentic from the molding style to the shade of green used for the tablecloths! If you showed me a picture of this room and a picture of the real thing (and I have both), I couldn't tell you which was which. Ah, but the real reason I traveled to this side of the Knott's property was to see the three-quarter-scale replica of Independence Hall (where the Declaration of Independence was signed) that Walter Knott had built in 1966... mostly just because he could. Legend has it the reproduction is so authentic, it even captures the fingerprints of the masons who laid the bricks in the original. Having toured the original just three weeks before the West Coast Trip, I can honestly say they did a pretty darned good job! For anyone on the trip who didn't get to see Soak City... here it is. Across the street was like a whole 'nother world... even though it was still on Knott's/Cedar Fair property. OMG! OMG! It's Snoopy! Ladies and gentlemen: Jaguar! This image will be familiar in a lot more Cedar Fair parks soon. Look closely at this sign, and you'll find a prime candidate for the TPR "You're Doing It Wrong" series. This guy looks like he's been here for quite awhile.... Ah, the "Pan for Gold" attraction. This was my favorite part of Knott's the last time I visited. I still have my little vial of gold shavings, along with a tiny replica mining pan with a "Knott's Berry Farm" sticker on it that I bought at the gift shop. The barrel house was kind of cool. ... Meanwhile, more theme park death loomed outside. This sassparilla really hit the spot! It was a hazy afternoon, and having done just about everything I'd wanted to do inside the park, I stopped back in at the Calico Saloon. Wow, nothing screams "old west" like an extreme skateboard stunt show and youth accordion orchestra! Way to give the public what it wants, Cedar Fair! But seriously, kudos to Knott's for supporting youth arts. That's one thing they really are doing right. Hmm... I don't remember anyone ever wearing baseball caps or sunglasses on the Dodge City Stage in "Gunsmoke." Suddenly, I feel like washing my clothes in Borax.... Nice to see the oldest ride at the park is still going. ...which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The Old Schoolhouse was... well, pretty much what I expected... One day, I'm going to have a sky tower with my initial on it.... I contemplated riding the Timber Mountain Log Ride just for its dioramas; however, my distaste for flume rides in general won out. According to those who did ride it, the flume itself didn't really get you wet... it was the six inches of water flooding the cue area that really did it. Another sign of Cedar Fair quality. Looks like a great ride, right? Well it was... for about 15 seconds. Robb warned us this was a short ride, but seriously, I've been on kiddie coasters with more track than this! And then it was time for Pony Express. Now, having ridden MotoCoaster at Darien Lake during last year's Behemoth/Flyer Trip, I was really looking forward to this ride, which has a similar layout, at least in terms of cars. Rapids time! I didn't actually ride... just photographed. The train came complete with robbers, though they didn't really do much more than walk through the aisles and then pose for pictures near the depot afterward. Next up: train ride! The train at Knott's actually looks more authentic than the one at Disneyland... though the scenery is nowhere near as good. Unlike the rest of the park, this show rocked! Unfortunately, due to ancient Indian tribal rites or something like that, the only photography allowed inside was in the pre-show area (where they apprently served the kids some grape Kool-Aid before we got there). After our tour of the museum, Mike Moody and I went to see the Mystery Lodge show. The candy store across the way was well appointed! Poor Water Knott. All he ever wanted to do was sell jelly and entertain kids at a significant profit. Now his name is linked with Cedar Fair. Ashes to ashes.... These machines were pretty cool. You put in a quarter and got a souvenir coin... and it was the exact same souveinr coin I got from Knott's (probably from the same machine, too) nearly two decades ago! Lots of good stuff here. A lot of this is still here... but a lot also isn't. ...but it was also filled with paraphernalia from Knott's Berry Farm's good old days (FYI, I have that second menu from the left in my personal collection.) There was a lot of old west paraphernalia in here... After lunch, I spent some time in here. As I've said before, I can't pass up a museum in a theme park! I really liked the lunch here... mostly because if we hadn't had Mrs. Knott's famous fried chicken, boysenberry punch and boysenberry pie, I was planning on skipping the food portion of lunch and going to the restaurant to sample it anyway. Knott's saved me $15! The free T-shirts and lanyards were a nice gesture.... Time for lunch! It was still a fun old ride... though I sincerely doubt "glory hole" meant the same thing when it opened in 1960 as it does today. OK, interesting story about the Calico Mine Ride: as I was going through it, the kids in the car with me were running their hands along the walls and throwing coins at the dioramas. "So much for Cedar Fair enforcement," I thought. I later found out that one member of our group (I'll let him identify himself if he wants) got yelled to take his sunglasses off during the ride. It's all about priorities, I guess. Sadly, the Indians sold them the land for those coaster supports for just $24 in Peanuts merchandise. I loves me a bottle house! I sat in on part of the show. Not as good as the Golden Horseshoe at Disneyland, but not bad. They perform right behind the bar. Ah, now here's a theme park institution TPR members can relate to! They had a wall inside with photos of all the "famous" people who had performed there. These were the only two I'd actually heard of. This place was interesting. I guess they used to (or maybe still do) have live performances here. More theme park death! It reminded me a lot of the Frontier Trail at Cedar Point. Which reminded me a lot of Knott's Berry Farm. So I guess we've come full circle. They had a few "period" actors in this section that demonstrated 19th century crafts. I meant to go back after lunch and check out this shooting gallery, but I forgot. It actually looked kind of fun (but probably not as fun as the one at Knoebel's). Looks like Old Betsy's seen better days. Ha ha! Stupid Canadians! "Five aces? Do you want to wind up like the guy in the coffin on the other side of the park?" The chicken wire-enclosed dioramas were difficult to photograph. Fortunately, Knott's provided a few with plexiglass windows, as well. I enjoyed the peek-in scenes... though they did scream "1950s" (which is probably why I enjoyed them). I understand they were recently refurbished. The exit from Ghostrider segues pretty well into the original Knott's ghost town. The coaster actually crosses the street! Some people absolutely hated how rough this ride was, but I kind of liked it. I'd have ridden it again had the line not grown to over 30 minutes by the time I made my initial lap. And now it's story time: As I mentioned in the intro, we received passes for one free photo each, much like Six Flags Magic Mountain. Unlike SFMM, however, Knott's made their virtually impossible to use. I tried cashing mine in on Ghostrider, and after calling in a manager, the photo person there told me it was only good at the front gate photo location. OK, fine. Later that afternoon, I stopped one of the photographers at the front of the park. We had this conversation: Me: Is this the front gate photo location? Photographer: What? (Love that Cedar Fair "What?") Me: Is this where I can have my photo taken at the front gate? Photogrpaher: Photo? What photo? I don't know what you mean. Me: If you take a picture of me with that camera, can I give someone money for it and take it home? Photographer: Oh, yeah. (Takes picture and hands me a ticket.) It'll be ready after 5. Which, of course, doesn't do me much good because we're scheduled to be gone long before then. Elissa later said when she inquired, they told her they weren't accepting photo vouchers at all that day, and it took some... we'll call it "convincing"... to get them to change their minds. I was entering the cue for Ghostrider when approximately 50,000 day camp kids ran around either side of me to get in line first. It's just not a day at Knott's until you've been line-jumped, I'm told (though I don't know if this technically counts since I was still two footsteps away from being in the actual cue). On another note, I wasn't there to experience this, but I heard it from enough people who did to believe it really happened: Apparently some TPR members on the tour were in line for a ride when they got line jumped and complained to the operator, who in turn told the line jumpers, "Sorry about that. There's a bunch of cranky coaster enthusiasts in the park today." Sierra Sidewinder: world's slowest-loading roller coaster. This is one of the few things I remember from my last visit nearly two decades ago. Preparations for Haunt were going on while we were there. At least I got a good shot of the train before the crowds emerged. On our way back to the part of the park that apparently was expecting guests, we saw the last few seconds of some filming going on. A documentary on America's poorest theme park policies, no doubt. Look out, Raymond! OK, so this is where the "friendly" veneer of Knott's started to wear off. When we reached this sign, the national anthem was playing, announcing the park's opening. A park employee stopped us, asked us if we were with "that theme park group" and told us we weren't supposed to be in that section of the park. I apologized and said I thought the national anthem meant the park was open. He said it was... but they weren't expecting guests at that end of the park so soon, so we had to turn around. Besides, we shouldn't be wandering off from our tour group. Not, "I'm sorry, but these attractions aren't open yet." Just, "What are you doing here? Go away and stay with your own kind." A lot of the California parks we visited seemed to have a thing for theming merchandise kiosks as fire trucks. This one had the best name by far. Another park, another boomerang. Hey Toyota, you missed this one! I'm not sure why Toyota would want its name associated with screaming... but here you go. Since neither Silver Bullet nor Xcelerator are my type of coaster, I spent most of ERT taking photos of other attractions, like this stylish carousel, for instance. A rare sightning: thumbs-up at Knott's! So if Cuba had a roller coaster, it would probably look like this? How many Joshes can you spot in this picture? I've seen this coaster dubbed "In Need of a Paint Job: The Ride," but I can't help but wonder if it doesn't fit its '50s theme better with this retro pink-and-light blue look... even if it's not intentional. ...but spent most of our time here. We started ERT with a no-wait ride on Silver Bullet... Um... we have these things now called digital cameras. This building is obsolete. This is quite possibly the coolest-looking station wagon ever. And it takes a lot to make a station wagon look cool. And now we transition from a man with a gunshot wound in his head... to Snoopy! Granted, they did have the decency to depict Walter Knott as he now exists, spinning in his grave. ...is not always the best theme park subject. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Death... Cedar Fair: We even paint rules on our theming! I'm a sucker for old west theming. The "Li'l Abner"-like characters on this windmill twirled, adding a nice kinetic visual to the entryway. The random theming at the front gate, including this Team USA bobsled, was kind of cool. It takes a manly man to look that tough in pink shades! They printed our name on the ticket, which was a nice touch. Unfortunately, most of the nice touches ended immediately following ERT. A large fiberglass chicken? Just imagine the inapropriate jokes we could come up with to go here! Speaking of Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinner Restaurant... I tried the food. Still waiting on the fun. This is the fruit that built the park: the boysenberry. It made Walter Knott a rich, rich man. And as rich men are inclined do, he built an old west "ghost town" to give people something to do while they were waiting to get into his wife's fried chicken restaurant next door. Then he leased some rides. Then his children took over and built some roller coasters. Then they sold the park to Cedar Fair and the whole thing went to he**.

Can't we all just be friends? I'm away at my girlfriend's sister's horror show of a wedding this weekend (seriously, it's the joining of the world's two most dysfunctional people in holy matrimony, followed by lobster ravioli), but I have the "Knott Berry Good" photos all resized, edited and ready for posting when I get home Sunday evening, complete with witty and scandalous commentary. Be patient, and rewarded your patience will be, young Padawan.

^Thanks, dmofo, and welcome to TPR!

OK, so here's the story about our last park of Day 8: I'm not sure where I heard it, but originally I thought we had three-day park hoppers at Disneyland. Well, imagine my surprise when we pull into the final hotel of the trip and Robb announces that not only do we have five-day park hoppers... but Disneyland is also still open for another two hours! I don't think a busload of people has ever gotten off a bus, unloaded luggage, gotten keys and thrown their suitcases in their rooms so fast in the history of modern travel! Adding to that, we got an incredible amount of stuff done that night because the crowds were so light (an advantage we would not have most of the rest of the trip). Keep in mind that my camera doesn't take great photos in low light... and with that, I present to you our first night at Disneyland! On our way out, we stumbled upon a film crew preparing the shoot a commercial on Main Street. Between our encounter with Jamie Foxx in Hollywood, this production at Disneyland and an experience the next day at Knott's Berry Farm (up next), we got quite an exposure of the Southern California filming industry during this trip! And thus ends not only our first evening at Disneyland, but possibly the shortest PTR I've ever posted! More Disney goodness to come. Crossing back through the Hub again, I ran into Mike Moody, and we agreed that a midnight ride on The Haunted Mansion would be a perfect way to end our first evening at Disneyland. OK, so I neither experienced nor witnessed this, but apparently at some point in the trip an entire train of TPR members was dispatched on Space Mountain, only to be pulled off before entering the lift because it exceeded the weight limit. You know, maybe two pizza buffets in two nights wasn't such a good idea after all.... I did a lot of criss-crossing, but I wanted to hit the big rides while the lines were short. Next stop was Space Mountain. Not to be confused with Space Mountain 2, Rockin' Space Mountain or Ghost Galaxy. Very little lighting in the old west... but Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at night was fun! More nighttime goodness on Main Street! A shot of the Mad Tea Party... just because I thought it came out well(Gilroy's Garlic Twirl was about the only tea cup-style ride I dared on this two-week adventure). First ride at Disneyland: the Matterhorn (I already had the credits, but I rode both sides for consistency's sake). It may be tiny... but at least it's purple! Disneyland's turn-of-the-century Main Street probably uses more power at night than most entire towns during the actual turn of the century. Much like Motel 6, Disneyland left the lights on for us.

That TR was so entertaining, I predict that someday we'll be seeing you both in the Great Movie Ride! Not as Animatronics... just riding the ride. Seriously, the Bryan and Adam Show is better than half the stuff on television today (the other half being on PBS).

Eh, I knew it was one of those Johnsons. I guess I just figured the oldest one would know the most about bingo! But once you get outside Towson, it's pretty much all the same... right?

Following another too-long hiatus, we continue with our look back at the 2009 West Coast Trip with... Castle Park! To be honest, I was expecting Castle to be a lot like Scandia, only with a little more acreage. Boy was I wrong! Not only did this park have a large supply of fun little older rides, but it had quite possibly the best miniature golf course in the Western time zone! Here's my take on the afternoon's events. Enjoy! Natalie came in behind me and won a spatula (because she's a girl). Matt (who's seen here, lest he be confused with Natalie) also finished either second or third and came away with some sort of mini golf game--the perfect end to our day at Castle Park! I know some of us probably take Dave's work on this game for granted, but seriously, this has been one of the most fun "perks" of the two TPR trips I've had the pleasure to attend. So thank you, Dave, for making these tours that much more amazing! Up next: the best unexpected surprise of any TPR trip ever--two bonus hours in Disneyland! And finally, this being the last evening bus ride of the trip, it was time to announce official 2009 West Coast Trip Elissa Bingo winners! I was the first to complete a line, so as only the second two-consecutive-year winner in Elissa Bingo history (Jeff Johnson was the first, I believe), I came away with a plush dolphin (from the Dollar Tree in scenic Lutherville, Maryland), a book by renowned author Brian Keene, and of course, the official 2009 Elissa Bingo CD/drink coaster. (FYI, I couldn't remember the book author's name, and I was too lazy to get up and look, so I just Googled "Maryland + author + zombies" and he came right up... so there you go.) On the bus to our final hotel of the trip, TPDave announced he was sharing his good fortune at the arcade by giving us each... neon vampire teeth! And a mini-flashlight! Oh, and 46 Chinese finger traps apiece! (Thanks, Dave; I saved a lot of money on gifts for the folks back home because of you!) Wow, he must have been extremely lucky to be dealt that kind of poker hand AND survived a birth defect! There it is, folks, the backside of water! (I told you that joke would come back around eventually.) With all the course's colored lights and waterfalls, and the warm Golden State breeze wafting through the night, I swear I felt like I was right in the middle of a Jan and Dean or Beach Boys song. This seemed like 1960s vintage California, like Surf City once the sun went down. I loved every moment of it. We had four courses to choose from (actually three; one was down for repairs). Another castle for Castle Park! "Hey guys? Um, can you stop staring at my balls?" ...and then we played mini golf! We spent some time in the arcade... Now there's a TV show that never really took off: "Star Trek Babies." Hey, amusement devices don't lie! Apparently the king had one slice too many of the pepperoni and jalepeno pizza! The name of this game just made me laugh; I'm not sure why. Though it wasn't much more than a big collection of ticket games, the arcade did have somewhat of a "royal" touch. After dinner, they gave us tokens and sent us over to the arcade (yes, it's in a castle--hence the name "Castle Park"). ...and for the second day in a row, our dinner was a pizza buf-fay! Vintage circus posters and carousel animals lined the walls and ceiling... No matter. This place was pretty awesome inside! As nice as this little park was, it really couldn't decide whether it wanted to be themed to Medieval times or a 1950s circus. I said "less" scary, dang it! Um... let's move on to something less scary. Up next: the infamous Screamin' Demon. And yes, as has been reported, the cars really do start spinning as soon as they hit the lift hill! "Shut up and quit asking stupid questions or I'll turn you into a toad!" The one thing I couldn't quite figure out, though: Why is a coaster themed to a fictional Medieval wizard shaped like rocket ships? Yay! The magic is fun! Are you guys ready to "ride the magic"? After our hour as park VIPs, we met here. Bonus points to Castle, though, for having an authentic gypsy wagon! I've asked this before: What is the fixation amusement parks have with the Liberty Bell? Every third park I go to seems to have its own unique recreation (and we haven't even gotten to Knott's yet). Hey, when we're done here, can we go to that "Stle Amusement Par" place? The park's newest ride, Dragon Swings, had been open only a few months by the time we corrupted them! Enjoy that tower, guys! ...and Dragon's Tower. ...kiddie whip... ...Spider... ...Fireball... ...Crazy Plane... ...Falling Star (not operating that day)... ...Thunder Bolt (not the Kennywood kind)... ...Scramb--er, never mind... ...bumper cars (and no, they didn't look like the dragster out front... but wouldn't it be cool if they had?)... ...antique carousel... ...Sea Dragon... ...motorcycles... ...Log Ride (no really, that's what it's called... and this isn't even a Cedar Fair park)... ...King's Crown (swings)... Now it's time for the "other rides in the park" section of this TR. As in: Other rides in the park included helicopters... Just do as the angry bear says, and no one gets hurt! OMG, Texaco and Shell are having an affair. Shhh, don't tell Exxon! These kiddie cars were originally at Knott's, as well. They weren't quite as fun as the ones at Gilroy Gardens... but they were pretty darned close! ...just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Fun to look at, though. ...but offering free advertising for Socal's other famous parks on the side of your antique, non-functioning kiddie train... OK, this is fine... "Wave at the stranger with the camera, honey! It's the polite thing to do." Robb told us that the guy who owned castle park used to lease rides, including this train, to Knott's Berry Farm until Knott's decided to buy its own rides outright in the '70s. The leassor then took those original Knott's rides, including this kiddie train, and used them to open Castle Park. All aboard! No puck? No problem! We'll just use KidTums! We got there about an hour before park closing, so there was a mad rush among dark ride lovers (which turned out to be most of us) to get on this ride, causing a minor "traffic jam." Hey, at least we got to see the arcade while we waited (that's where the entrance to the ride was). We'd better do what the sign says.... We all got treated like Big Mike for the day! Following a couple hours' bus ride from Legoland, we saw something that looked kind of like this. Actually... it looked exactly like this!

Wow, you and I share the same thoughts about pretty much everything at Universal (especially the "sitting on the left on the tram" advice)... except for the "Creature" show. I thought it was hillarious, especially when the dang thing broke down! Maybe it wasn't supposed to be hillarious, though.... Anyway, awesome shots of Norman Bates!

Legoland was awesome and would have been even without Renate (though meeting her certainly put my experience there over the top). Don't make the mistake of thinking it's just a kiddie park. There were some things there (like Miniland) that fascinated me that I know would have bored my girlfriend's 5-year-old daughter to tears, and vice versa. Another great job, Benny!

We were at Legoland for fewer than six hours, and I never thought my TR on it would turn into a three-section span... but there's so much to see there that it could easily go longer! I'll spare you, however, and finish up with this mini-section that covers another one of the most fun parts of the trip: Fun Town Fire Academy takeover! Enjoy! And speaking of Ice Bat, what better way to end the final section of the Legoland TR than with... Lego Ice Bat! Next up: Castle Park and Elissa Bingo! Of course, in true TPR fashion, we each had a team name, and the Legoland employee staffing the ride announced them over the loudspeaker. This was Team Ice Bat. Let's just say that they placed behind my team, the Megalodons. And let's just say we placed behind another team whose name I do not recall, even though we were the first ones in our heat to make it to the building and put out the fire. We lost it in the final stretch! ...then everyone jumped back in the truck and pumped it back to the starting point. The first team back won. ...then all four jumped out and three of them pumped water into a hole in the "fire" until it was "extinguished"... ...then two people pumped the truck down the track while the other two sat... The concept was deceptively simple. First, four teams of four gathered in their firetrucks... To see who got to go first, we played the world's largest game of Twister. "I'm going to watch a bunch of idiots take over the Fun Town Fire Academy!" "We're going to sell things! Pip pip, then!" "You sure do got a purty mouth...." "We plan to monkey around." "Arr! I plans to catch more birdies with me fancy crank, I do!" "I'm still thinking about it." "We're going to trick our friend into jumping into a hoop... with no net!" Did I mention that it was Legoland's 10th anniversary? Let's see how some of its citizens plan to celebrate. These are apple fries! They're a bit difficult to describe. Think deep-fried applesauce sticks with Reddi-Wip. My review: very good... but very messy. The evening before, we saw a film clip on the bus of Robb making apple fries in this very restaurant. He hawked them again that morning. So obviously I couldn't leave Legoland without trying some. And what are apple fries, you ask?

^^You were sick? I had no clue! Apparently neither one of us can ever go on a TPR trip without some kind of illness plaguing us. Hey, at least it wasn't your jaw this year, right? ^Awesome! If you can figure it out, I'd love to have it. Hard to believe the Adventurers' Club in California is the last one. I thought it was pretty cool (a lot cooler than an Xbox showroom, for sure). Anyway, real work and volunteer work has kept me away from posting lately, but now that I have a rare free night, welcome to Legoland, part deux. Enjoy! Up next: TPR takes over the Fun Town Fire Academy! Stay tuned. And we finish part deux with a pair of Andy Warhol-inspired Lego creations. "Anybody seen my fried Lego peanut butter and banana sandwich?" Unfortunately, they left out the best parts. How's that whole budget thing working out for you, Governor Arnie? To be made of Legos or not to be made of Legos. That is the question. Here's one for the Brits! And here's another! Speaking of U.S. presidents, here's one! It's the inauguration of Legobama! (Sorry, Natalie.) Wow, something pretty big is going on at the Capitol. What could it be? Probably here! Watch out for Lego snipers, though. I wonder where that Lego motorcade could be going. Oooh, this must be what the back of a Lego $5 bill looks like! Lego Iwo Jima. Lego Jefferson Memorial. Lego Smithsonian Castle. ...Washington, D.C.! Cool, that should save me a good amount on plane fare back to Baltimore-Washington International! It's about time we cross the Brooklyn Bridge into... Wow, they really shouldn't have a window there! All that's missing is a little Lego Tina Fey. I hear "ChocoNut" is a lot like Chock Full O' Nuts... only with less chance of an infringement lawsuit. Hey, I don't remember Dave's Clothes being a major Times Square sponsor last time I was in New York.... They sure built the Lego Freedom Tower a lot faster than the real thing. We now return you to your regularly scheduled tour of Lego New York, already in progress. ...and a Lego rodeo. And now, randomly, here's Lego Daytona Speedway... "Excuse me, but can the Fresh Prince of Bel Air come out to play?" I kind of wish I'd had time to see the real version of this while we were in Los Angeles... but oh well. So does this. Where are the copyright-infringing Lego costumed characters? Where are the 30 billion people? Where are the other buildings? Fun fact, however: the Michael Jackson estate turned down Legoland's plans to make a Lego Michael to put on display in honor of his death, so the "Thriller" on the marquee here is the park's alternate way of honoring him. Hmm, this looks familiar... but different. Lego Bob Saget and Lego Candace Cameron live here. Fun fact: I sent them both Christmas cards when I was 9 or 10. I still have the autographed postcard Bob Saget sent back! Pier 39! I've been here! Wouldn't it be awesome if someone built a real boat out of Legos and kept it in a marina like this? It would cost a fortune, and it would have to be well-caulked and sealed, but I bet it could be done. Cable car to nowhere! Wow, the Lego version actually looks bigger than the real thing did when we saw it earlier during the trip! Up next: Lego San Francisco. Lego dead people! This is the view from the real-life Cafe du Monde. OK, actually this is the view about a block over from the real-life Cafe du Monde. But still, how cool! I've been on that riverboat! Where are the Lego flashers? Next let's take a trip down to Lego New Orleans. Lego TPR members! Wow, the Stratosphere looks so much smaller here.... Isn't this where Scott and Jenn said they wanted to end up in Vegas? ...and their elephant habitat (which I've also seen in real life)! ...it also had a Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden dolphin habitat (which I've seen in real life)... Personally, I think the Lego Mirage was the coolest thing in this section. Not only did it have a reproduction reproduction volcano... They even incorporated the new (lamer) sign... and the Vegas monorail! And the Lego monorail works better than the real thing! Lego Treasure Island... complete with Bob Gurr pirate show! I wonder if they have wenches on the far ship. Lego Paris and Venetian. No Lego lions in here... that I could see, anyway. I've stayed here! I wonder if there's a little Lego me inside there somewhere. ...complete with Statue of Liberty and fireboats! New York, New York... The orange juice hotel. But hey, it still has a pool! There's the fabulous Luxor resort... now with 90 percent less Egypt! This was as close as I got to the Vegas add-on And finally, we reach my favorite part of Legoland: Miniland USA! Another cool kiddie attraction: Royal Joust. It's not exactly the same, but the horse on a track kind of reminded me of the old steeplechase rides (one of the main reasons I really want to get to Blackpool soon). ...and finally, we conclude our Random Lego Boat Ride of Awesomeness with an all-marine-life blues band... for some reason. ...the Statue of Liberty... ...with extra hygiene... ...Mt. Rushmore... ...Eiffel Tower... ...Taj Mahal... Next on the Random Lego Boat Ride of Awesomeness: man-made landmarks from around the world, starting with the Sydney Opera House... This Lego man screamed imaginarily fell into the water. It's fun teaching kids to laugh at others' pain! Lego 'Mingos! But then, the dinosaurs seem pretty excited to be there, so whatever. Further proof that the Emancipation Proclamation did not include dinosaurs! It's mega-treasure chest versus mini-octopus! However, we did make time for the Random Lego Boat Ride of Awesomeness. Let's have a look, shall we? The safari ride was another neat-looking attraction we didn't have time for. So many blocks, so little time.... I'm not sure what these pedal-power things were. I'm not sure where the entrance was located. The one thing I am sure of is, Jeff Johnson probably counts them as a credit. This was pretty cool. I wonder if the fossils were made of Legos, too. "Don't mind him; he's all bark and no bite. However, if you have them to spare, I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a cookie today...." "Grrr! I'm scary T-rex! Gimme some cookies!" Oooh! There it is! I didn't really bother with this credit, though the theming was pretty good (as was the case pretty much throughout Legoland). This is the "Three Billy Goats' Gruff." Not quite sure what the title means since it's basically about a troll living under a bridge... but hey, when in Legoland! Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time to get on this ride, but this is pretty much the concept. Dig the three little pigs! The Lost Boys told Peter Pan he looked good in this hat. They totally lied! Lego Death Star, on the other hand, is just "meh." But the fact that there even is a Lego Death Star kind of rocks. Chewy is always awesome. Even behind glass. Or... wait, is this Lego Harrison Ford? Lego Harrison Ford looks almost as good as Disney Harrison Ford! And lest we forget Duplo! You know, the Lego blocks for small children with chubby, stupid fingers? Lego instruments that squirt water? OK.... I wanna go to the mart! Sky Patrol was awesome in its simplicity (though I would imagine having those hydraulics takes more commitment than plopping down a kiddie helicopter flat). I haven't seen anything like this at any other park. ...brought to you by Lego Volvo! Lego Autopia... "Check me out, ladies. I'll totally give you a ride on my handlebars." Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a long time between posts. You don't have to get all dramatic about it. Also, haven't I seen your twin in Downtown Disney, Orlando?

Awesome, awesome, awesome! I wish the Disney parks I visit most often had volcanoes and Aquatopia and 43 different flavors of popcorn... but until they do, I'm glad I at least get to see pictures of the one that does

The expo looks like it was amazing! I saw signs for it on the West Coast Trip and really wished I could have gone. Imagine what it would have been like had the WCT coincided with the expo! TPR + Disneyland + D23 Expo.... Whoa! I need to go lie down now!

This was the first thing I thought of when I saw that banner even before I read your caption! Did you run into Johnny Bravo while you were there?

I'd never heard of Cake Wrecks before. It's now officially my second-favorite website! Thanks!

^Thanks, Brian! I had to Google the 1968 Olympics to make sure that was a compliment... and I'm 80 percent sure it was! The first part of Day 8 took us to Legoland. Now, I already declared Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk my favorite part of the trip... but Legoland was a close, close, close second, and second only because of repeatability. I could definitely see myself going back to SCBB if I'm out that way again, whereas Legoland was more of a one-time thing... but what a time it was! I'll let the pictures and captions tell the story. It definitely was one of those "Only TPR could pull this off" kind of days! So thank you, Renate, for doing so much to make our visit to Legoland so memorable! And there's still more to come! Stay tuned for part two. About midway through the "private tour," my excitement began turning into anxiousness. Theme Park Review Trip Rule No. 2 is "Do not approach park staff and ask for special treatment," and though we didn't ask for it, I was afraid this bordered on that. Once we left the factory tour I called Robb... and he was elated! Turns out Robb was in a meeting with Renate about two and a half years ago when he got the call that he needed to leave Legoland and get back home because KidTums was about to be born! This time around, Renate actually got to meet KidTums... and Mike and I were able to hand over the many bags of souvenir blocks, buttons and magazines to Robb to take back to the bus instead of hauling them around by ourselves. Bonus! For the record, this is the total free swag we received from Legoland. If anyone would like to purchase any of it... tough. This, for the record, is a "Renate original." If my apartment ever catches fire, this is the fourth thing I'm saving, right after my park-used Disneyland Band bass drum head, WDI security pass issued during the construction of the original Tower of Terror and "Who Wants to Be a Millionare" jacket I won at Disney-MGM Studios. And it wasn't over yet! Renate then started squirting Lego goo from the machine, vowing to make each of us a "Renate original." ...then she invited each of us to take a Lego block fresh off the line! We didn't want to make fools out of ourselves in front of Renate, but at this point I--and I'm pretty sure Mike, as well--was so excited that I could have gotten down on the floor, started running in circles and made the Curly Howard "woop-woop-woop" noise! ...then she demonstrated how the blocks are molded... Next she took us behind the machines to show us the "inner workings" of Lego manufacturing. First we got to handle the plastic bits that are melted down for the blocks... ...and this shelf of figures made by Factory Tour guests (check out Mario). ...like this wall of "retired" pieces from the park... Renate is in charge of decorating the factory tour (she said her daughter was responsible for many of the park's larger statues) so once we were done counting she took us on a private tour, pointing out various pieces we missed our first time through... Every time we got one type counted out, she would go behind another door and come out with another box full of completely different souvenir blocks for us to count! She asked how many were on the tour so she could send us back with souvenir blocks for everyone. When we told her there were 46 of us, she immediately put us to work counting out and stacking blocks! When we told her "Theme Park Review," her eyes got wide. She directed our attention to a business card on her bulletin board: "I know him!" ...because that's when we met Renate! And now it's story time. As we passed the non-working machine, Renate came rushing out from behind a door and asked us to give her a moment to get the machine started because it wouldn't be a full tour unless we saw it in action. While she was starting it up, she asked us where we were from. I told her I was from Maryland, and Mike was from England. She replied, "England? We need to get you something special for coming all the way from England! Follow me!" Then she took us into an office and gave us each a commemorative "Factory Tour" block and a copy of "Brickmaster" magazine, which we both thought was very generous. She asked us how we came to Legoland from our two very different venues, and we told her we were with a group on a two-week tour of California. Then she asked the $64,000 question: "What tour company?" I'm not sure which machine on the self-guided "factory tour" wasn't turned on, but for the sake of argument, let's say it was this one. And that's when the day got *really* good... I'm even more sure this is what the finished blocks look like. I'm pretty sure this is what all Lego employees look like. Actually, we heard it was forced out after accountants discovered they could hire two new molds at the same cost of keeping this one around. This is what Lego blocks look like before they look like Lego blocks. They only go beyond Dallas when J.R. Ewing says they can. And now you know. We reported them to security. This guy said he'd take care of it. Line cutters! Where do these kids think they are, Knott's Berry Farm? Next we decided to take a tour of the Lego factory, which is kind of like Hershey's Great American Chocolate Tour, only without chocolate... or singing cows. I always thought carbonite was black. Bear hole! And sadly, none of the villagers came. They didn't really like Peter that much anyway. The pharaoh is sad because we can see up his skirt. He's totally about to get a "hands" penalty. Also... they didn't have TV cameras in ancient Egypt! Someone in research was seriously asleep at the wheel on that one! Even the torches were made of Legos! "My only regret is that I lived my life on a diet of plain pasta and skinned hot dogs." Congratulations! You're the next American Idol! Hello, adventurers! I like your Lego neckerchiefs! Mike said this place was a must-see. Look out below! This lady "accidentally" missed her flowers while watering... and check out the flowers! They look just like "Lego" flowers... if that makes any sense. This park has awesome theming! Check out the cat and the birds on the ledge. Legoland's grounds crew takes a break. No. 253 on the list of "Things You Will Never Ever See at Disneyland." The designers at Legoland have a pretty twisted sense of humor. Yeah, I know people like this.... OMG, Legoland added a TPR monument just for us! Sounds like my kind of place! More pirates! I don't know why, but I really like the design of the turkey. This is the most awesome idea ever! They set up little Lego play tables in the lines of most of the rides so kids could keep themselves occupied--all within eyeshot of their parents--and then rejoin their parents as they got closer to the ride. More parks need to adopt this (along with free sodas and sunscreen like Holiday World offers). Better not fall in! Too bad I already wasted my Simon joke in the Sea World section of this TR.... Skipper School also looked like fun. Unfortuantely, we didn't have time to hit everything, and if we had to skip a few things, this seemed like one to start with. Splash Battle looked pretty neat... but you can pretty much count me out of anything with the word "Splash" in the name! Hang in there! I stuck with Mike Moody for most of the day. Already familiar with the similar Lego parks in Europe, he gave me a guided tour starting with the pirates area. Best restroom signs ever! This was part of the park's miniature golf course, which we didn't get the opportunity to play, unfortunately (plenty of time for mini golf later in the day). Of course, it was much cooler with people riding and water shooting up! Aquazone was pretty cool. Early entry allowed some people-free ride shots, too. Hey hey, it's a monkey! Amelia? So where's the Chargers statue? E=MC Hammer. If Evel Knievel was made of Legos, he so would have had one of these. Who's the builder who built Bob? Add Legoland to the growing number of parks on this trip with a Thomas! You know, if they had Bionicle when Luke was growing up, he probably could have just made his own replacement hand.... Same. Even the pressed penny machines were Lego-themed! The early entry for ERT also afforded a lot of people-free shots of some of the park's many statues. Remind you of anyone? Or not. "Don't worry, foxes! The guard will protect you!" "If anybody's down there, can you send my false teeth back up?" Guilty of spreading swine flu! It's good to see Shrek finally found a profession that will allow him to support his wife and their many ogre babies. The Dragon is part dark ride, part coaster... and no photography (at least not on my part). So instead, here are some Lego figures from the park's Medieval section... which is more or less just an extension of the dark ride portion of Dragon anyway. So what could be better than ERT? Bonus ERT! Immediately after park opening, our park guide led us to The Dragon so we could be the first guests of the day to ride! It's just like one of those repeating pictures! "Is this a bad time to tell you I have to pee?" They had discontinued the use of water jets on the ride by the time of our visit. Otherwise, this could have been twice as wild! Guess which setting was most popular! Riders can pick their own intensity setting on the ride from 1 (mild) to 5 (may cause minor brain damage). "Oh crap!" "Hey, this isn't so bad...." Ready to go, guys? Mr. Dragon says, "Follow me for robocoaster ERT at Knight's Tournament." It's a wild mouse... and it's awesome! (Everything at Legoland gets a minimum rating of "awesome.") For some reason, I really sucked at photographing this ride... so here's all you get of the station area. Look out! A Cobra agent! Oh, right... more ERT! Wait, why is everyone leaving so soon? Kerry is all ready to shoot her some Lego pharaohs! And then they offered us a ride on something neither SFDK or Universal had: Pharaoh's Revenge! They also heard we got to see a lot of intricate Egyptian decor during our backstage "Mummy" tour at Universal Studios... so they matched that as well! Legoland heard Six Flags Discovery Kingdom brought out a camel for us... so they did the same! Hooray for ERT! Right next door to the entrance to Legoland was Sea Life Aquarium, which I didn't visit because a) there was too much to see and do at Legoland as it was, b) it was an upcharge, and c) after Sea World the day before, I'd had just about enough of fish to last me a couple years. Hello, Mr. Lego Man. You can put your arms down now. We come in peace. I suspected we'd be going to Legoland on Day 8. Mostly because we saw several videos about it on the bus the evening before. And it was on the agenda.

Blasphemy! Granted, if I worked across the street (instead of across the continent) from In-N-Out instead of Hardees, I might feel different. But I doubt it. Hardees/Carls hasn't been the same since they switched to those godawful "Thickburgers." They still have the best fast food breakfast biscuits for my money, though! Otherwise, great China TR. Mongols are the best!

^Thanks! Yeah, I agree the page is a little long. I thought the Belmont photos would end up at the top of page 8 instead of the bottom of page 7. Oh well; I'll keep that in mind next time. I'm not reposting all 74 pictures!

From Sea World it was a short drive to Belmont Park. Now, some people will tell you that our afternoon/evening at Belmont Park was the best day in TPR history. I don't necessarily agree... though it definitely was a fun time! What could make this even better? Glow sticks, of course! Bas was kind enough to supply several for each of us, and they looked awesome going through the tunnel! Thus ended another 16-hour TPR day. Next stop: Legoland! ...night ERT on Giant Dipper! Ty, Robby and Josh got in one more flat ride before... Even the... wait, what? The "kayaks in an indoor pool" attraction? How did we miss this earlier? Even the Speedway looked somehow different... despite its being a covered, lighted attraction even in the day. The park's attractions look very nice lit up at night. It was nighttime by the time we left the arcade. The golf course exited into an arcade... where for just 250 tickets you could have yourself a pair of furry handcuffs! "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus II: Megalodon's Revenge" Um... are we back at Universal? We were all having a good time when suddenly... this rock skull came out of nowhere and ate Wes and Bas! Ahhhhh! Laser putt! We all had fun playing with our balls. "We wants the redhead... but we'll settle for the blonde!" That day's wristband color was a very appropriate choice! Blacklight mini golf, that is! After awhile some of us ventured back into the park proper to try our hand at mini golf. This is where we separate the men from the boys. We spent a lot of time after dinner hanging out and having a "few" drinks. It was all Mexican food... and it was really, really good! A lot of people named this their favorite meal of the trip. After working up an appetite on the Flowrider, it was time for... buf-fay! Imagine this scene going on for about 10 minutes straight, and you pretty much have a general idea how that went! After awhile, they let us (and by "us" I mean "them" because this sure wasn't for a water-phobe like me!) try it standing up. Wes totally plans to become a pro at this so next time the airline loses his luggage, he can just surf back to Canada and pick it up! OMG, Roxy's here! This just became a party! "Kungaloosh!" "Crap... are my trunks still on?" Come on, Neil! Don't be cheeeken! Drat, if only there had been a Flowrider segment on "Wipeout"... er, for Elissa's evil twin, I mean! ...and we had two hours of ERT on it! ...and this would be the other! It's called the "Flowrider"... They call this place the "Wavehouse" for a couple reasons. This is one of them... Oooh, a bird! Let's follow it back to the Wavehouse. The giant ice cream cone seemed too good to pass up! Besides, I hadn't eaten since breakfast because I had been saving myself for Jack in the Box. On the "roadwalk" was this ice cream stand, which was also part of Belmont. These lifeguard trucks on the beach reminded me of "Baywatch." And this picture reminds me that I forgot to mention in my Venice Beach photos that that beach was the one used in the actual filming of "Baywatch." And then there was the beach itself. All the beaches near me have boardwalks. A lot of the California beaches, on the other hand, seem to prefer this odd sort of "roadwalk." Let's have a look, shall we? Our deck also incuded its own private entrance to Mission Beach. The deal included all-you-can-drink lemonade and $2 margaritas the entire time we were there, plus free beer and wine with dinner. There are definitely worse ways to spend a Wednesday! Back on park property, we got our own private deck in this complex. It was like a beach party... that lasted for eight hours! And... hmm. Kind of reminds me of vintage Big Mike Road Show! While we're still off park property, I'd like to take a moment and share with you my one major disappointment of the trip (granted, as "major" disappointments go, it was pretty minor). When I was mapping out my pre-trip activities in California, my one regret was that I was going to have to skip Jack in the Box to squeeze in all the other attractions I wanted to see. Unfortunately, we don't have those in my neck of the woods, but the few times I've tried their food, it's been amazing (for fast food, anyway). Before we got to Belmont, Robb announced that there was a Jack in the Box right across the street from the park! At this point I was thinking, "Wow, is there anything TPR can't do?" Well, apparently there is. Upon searching, I learned that the Jack in the Box had been replaced by a Mexican restaurant. Adding insult to injury, I later learned there was a Jack in the Box just down the street from our Carlsbad hotel of which I could have partaken the evening before had I known it existed. Actually, you know, maybe that's why I don't remember this day as fondly as some of the others--I just needed a Jumbo Jack fix! There's also a castle... Where I come from, the parks have pine trees, not palm trees. So long as we're outside the park, let's take a look at what else is around. Belmont is right across the street from Mission Bay Park. I mean, if so, the claim might have some merit. I mean, this place also has one of the original Giant Dipper cars.... Would Jeff Johnson count this as a credit? Can you imagine riding in this? It's hard to believe they were still using this style of car in 1976. "The coaster had its share of ups and downs...." So I guess this would be the "Little Dipper"...? The Giant Dipper is so cool, it even has its own museum! Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care! Wheee! ...and over! Going up... The station house is pretty classic. This coaster wasn't quite as nice as its cousin to the north in Santa Cruz, but being a woodie enthusiast, I still really enjoyed it. Giant Dipper... through the trees! But this is the real reason we came here! Of course, there were a few up-charge attractions, too, like the Magical Mystery Mirror Maze. ...and Beach Blaster. ...Vertical Plunge... ...Thunder Boats... ...Tilt-A-Whirl... ...which were more of these things... ...Krazy Kars... ...Speedway bumper cars... ...Chaos... ...Crazy Submarine... Other rides included the Liberty Carousel... As you can see from this map, Belmont's coaster accounts for one full third of the park. From Sea World to Belmont in 20 minutes. That's better than Domino's!

Our first stop of Day 7 was Sea World! Sea World has lots of fish, but none for eating, so no food pictures this time. Enjoy! And finally, this apparently is where they recycle Shamu into plastic bottles. Enjoy that Pepsi, kids! Next stop: Belmont Park... and the Flowrider! I didn't feel right about posting a picture of the sign without posting a picture of a manatee. This photo serves that purpose. "Be gentle." This is what the jaws of a megalodon look like. If you see a megalodon... get out of the way. It's not going to the movies. Aw, the frickin' laser beam fell off his head! Our time at the park was running out, but I made sure I got to see what may have been the most Dave-approved attraction of the entire trip! ...but mostly fish. I like fish. ...and a turtle... The aquarium had fish... I tried to de-confuse myself with a quick walk through the aquarium where the fish spit flies. Or something like that. Then the same Zorb guy from before somehow got into another Zorb on top of the castle and rolled it into the ocean. Then the announcer told us the show was over. A bunch of local boaters drifted up to get a free seat for this high-quality show. After that someone got caught in a net suspended 50 feet over the water. Then they tricked some guy into a Zorb and pushed in the water, and the Green Goblin bumped him around for a few minutes. First some blue people climbed poles. At the beginning of the show, an announcer informed us that an ancient mythical race had waited thousands of years for its leader to emerge. And then he did, so now they're celebrating, and we're all invited. That was the only narration until the very end. Having said that, this show was very, very... strange. Since I didn't get to see Cirque du Soleil with the TPR Vegas add-on, I supposed this would be the next best thing. Green, yellow, red, yellow, green. Oh, Simon! Hi, little dude! Holy crap, it is! Is this where we go for "Turtle Talk with Crush"? Starfish come in many colors. Just like people. And Popsicles. Is it just me, or is that starfish making an inappropriate gesture? ...which I didn't ride. But hey, you can stay nice and dry and still get a decent picture, right? ...and the rapids... ...and the otters... After the Shamu show, I stopped off to see the dolphins... ...and then do a backflip. ...splash a bunch of people (we call this the "Sham Slam")... The show was called "Believe." By watching it I learned that if I believe in myself, a killer whale will jump out of the water... "I'm kind of the world!" Turns out Sea World always keeps a backup Shamu handy, just in case the first one gets damaged. Smart thinking, Sea World! "Now don't lie to me, Shamu. You haven't been flossing daily like we discussed, have you?" There's Jambu! I mean... Shamu! I invited approximately 2,000 of my closest friends to come see the show with me. No sense in letting all that whale go to waste, after all. You can't say you've been to Sea World until you see Shamu. I mean, you can, I guess. But you'd be lying. And lying hurts your soul. Da-dum... da-dum... da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.... Stingrays, I guess. That was about the only thing here. Next stop: Forbidden Reef. What makes this reef so forbidden? Two if by air and one if by sea! ...and the other side of the Skyride, which more or less was just a base to spin you around and take you back to the park. No disembarking here! ...and beaches... ...and part of San Diego... On the Skyride I got to see a marina... Hmm... that whale looks somewhat familiar.... Next up on our express ticket: the Skyride! Behold my winning picture in TPDave's pirate photo contest! I won a plastic faucet of green slime! Oh no! They got wet and multiplied! Wait... flamingos are cute and harmless unless you feed them after midnight, right? Oh. Well, moving on then. "Row faster, men! We'll outrun those flamingos yet!" But still worth including in the TR. Because, you know, it's kind of pretty. What did we discover? Mostly that the Garden of Discovery is pretty boring. Quick! Let's take refuge in the Garden of Discovery! "This is for my cousin, Pepe, who is now a yard ornament in Florida. I will avenge you, Pepe!" The flamingos are invading! Run for your lives! "Stupid sea lions. I keel you!" "If you throw us some fish, we'll play 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' with our noses on some horns for you!" ...until you dangle some raw fish their way. Seals and sea lions look so majestic... What could be better than peanut butter and chocolate? Jumping fountains and Grover! Even so, there's still a gender gap on Sesame Street. How come Elmo gets to float in a protective bubble atop his ride, but Abby Cadabby has to stand open to the elements? I call Muppet inequality! "I was the first female Muppet to have her own balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Take that, Miss Piggy!" Abby's Sea Star Spin did make sense to me, though I can't exactly explain why. I guess I assume she's using her magic the same way Elmo uses his imagination. "Elmo stole John Travolta's bubble! Just try to tickle Elmo in here, punks!" ...though I'm not 100 percent on why Elmo is a fish or why the Elmo Fish were dressed as non-fish animals, either. There was a loooooong line later in the day for Elmo's Flying Fish... I don't really understand why Oscar has "Rockin' Eels"... but here they are! Is it just me, or is this boat a little horny? The funny thing is, more kids today probably know who the "Sesame Street" characters are than Snoopy, Garfield and probably about half a dozen othe park-licensed franchises combined. "...and a sailboat full of beer! And this showcase can be yours if the price... is... right!" That's way more than six flags.... I mean, I've heard of Turtle Wax... but Clydesdale Polish? Man, he polished that thing so much that the Anheuser-Busch logos came up through the paint again! This is a clydesdale with a bunch of summer camp kids. Any questions? This is a clydesdale. Aw, come on. I mean, it wasn't the best exhibit at the park, but it didn't bite.... Nothing says "Busch park" like clydesdales and free beer. Er... clydesdales, anyway. I didn't get a picture of the sign below that said, "Please refrain from feeding me Froot Loops." Mostly because it didn't exist. But how cool would it be if it had! Sea World cares for all types of animals. Even 2-D ones. Puffin always knew he was different. "Just wait until I save Christmas," he said. "Then they'll all see!" Why can they swim like that? Because they're highly specialized! Why so formal, penguins? He's got the blue-box blues. So do highly specialized birds ride the highly short bus? "You know, I think I like real snow better than painted concrete...." No collar=not a Dharma polar bear. Prima donna American whales! During last year's TPR trip I got to pet a beluga whale at Marineland in Ontario, Canada. This year I got to see one behind three feet of glass at Sea World San Diego. Wild Arctic is part simulator, part animal exhibit. Since simulators don't make for good photos, here's one of the helicopter the simulator was supposed to be simulating-ing-ing. This attraction is brought to you by Ford. Because if there's one place you want to be driving a Festiva, it's in the Wild Arctic. The park's lone credit, Journey to Atlantis, wasn't quite open yet, so we found other ways to pass the time. Props to Sea World, by the way, for giving us all ponchos to wear so we didn't have to get wet on this ride and for later giving us all Shamu keychains. Because we're Shamu keychain kind of people. And finally we rotate back around to the entry plaza where we see... absolutely nothing! Something big lives here. It rhymes with "Famoo." Dolphins live here, too! We'll be seeing more of you later, Sesame Street Bay of Play! Dolphins live here! Robb and Elissa, being the awesome human beings they are, got us all express passes for every ride at the park. Seriously. Like all four of them! Most of us made our way to the Skytower first. Our awesome bus driver, Larry, lives near Sea World. Since he joined TPR, we gave him the morning off to relax at home and rode to the park in the Shamumobile instead. It's roomier than it looks. Who here knew the Sea World logo was supposed to represent fins? Anybody? Anybody?

I really, really like this idea! A park with Kennywood's history and local following could really pull that off, sort of a much-expanded version of the signs and pictures that tell the park's history on its train ride. Granted, they could re-theme the Old Mill to a ride where someone slips a bag over your head on the way in and Kennywood employees are given baseball bats and ordered to stand along the waterway and beat you mercilessly until you come out, and it would still be 10 times better than Garfield's Nightmare. I didn't realize the Garfield license was set to expire, but I do know the "3-D" aspect of the ride was more or less removed between my first ride in June 2008 and my more recent trip in June 2009. I have a feeling this will be remembered as Kennywood's "Light Magic." If they relocate the Turnpike to another part of the park and return the Old Mill to its former glory, along with adding the new coaster, 2011 could be the start of a new Golden Age for Kennywood!

OK, now that I have enough not to look pathetic: Adventure City Belmont Park California’s Great America Cedar Point Disney’s California Adventure Disneyland Frontier Town Gilroy Gardens Holiday World Idlewild John’s Incredible Pizza Jolly Roger Jolly Roger at the Pier Kennywood Knott’s Berry Farm Lake Compounce Legoland California Navy Pier Park Pacific Park Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk Scandia Sea World San Diego Six Flags America Six Flags Discovery Kingdom Six Flags Great America Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom Six Flags Magic Mountain Six Flags New England Trimpers Rides Universal Studios Hollywood