printersdevil78

These updates have been awesome! It's like going on vacation without ever leaving home. I've never been skiing, but I'd love to do that alpine coaster!

Larry, In sorting photos for the next couple updates in my UK Trip thread, I found a much better picture of the Fantasy Island gallopers than the one I sent earlier in the year, if you can still use it: Fantasy Island gallopers

^Was I with you and John when I did Impossible? Maybe I was. I was thinking I was there by myself. I know I passed Stacy and Cameron in there at one point, as they're in the background of one of the photos I didn't use. That's basically the same setup I remember, only there were a lot more people in the room. I asked the attendant what the ride was and how long the wait was, and he said it was a haunted swing but had no idea on the wait.

^The swing was there and open, but there was a line, and by that time I knew I was going to be pushing it to get everything done that I wanted to before the park closed, so I skipped it. I was content with two haunted swings during the trip.

Day 7 (I thought Blackpool was Day 7, but apparently I was off on my numbering, so I'm getting back on track here) took us to three parks... though only two were on the schedule! First up was Lightwater Valley. Enjoy! We're heeeeere! Hey, wait... is this an amusement park or a flower shop? (Both, apparently.) I'm not sure why, but I really liked the ticket windows. This is called The Ultimate. At one time it was the ultimate longest roller coaster in the world (in second place now). It may be the ultimate slowest roller coaster in the world. Some say it's the ultimate roughest coaster in the world, but I actually kind of enjoyed it. Oh, and did I mention we had ERT on it? This was the train that (barely) took us up the lift hill. From there, there were a couple hills, then a LOT of low-to-the-ground flatness as the train meandered through the forest. It was almost as if after the first hill, the builders kind of gave up and just started laying train track. Up next was the newly re-themed Raptor. I understand that until shortly before our visit, this used to be "The Rat," which simulated a visit through the sewers. Let me say that the park really outdid itself on the re-theme. Things like these oversized newspapers really added to the "Fossils were found at this mine, and now it's a tourist attraction" story. Again, great theming, which was carried out throughout the ride (a Wildcat in th dark, dressed up with dinosaurs munching on scientists' body parts). This was close to Disney level. I assume this was left over from The Rat, but you had to duck and crawl through this hole to get to the inside portion of the cue. American lawyers would be all over that the first time someone strained their back bending over or bumped their head standing up! At the end of the ride was a dinosaur paintball range! This Crazy Mouse looks almost tropical! Buckle those seat belts! It's going to be a bumpy ride! Wheee! Here we have the Ladybird... ...AKA my 100th coaster! "Hey, everyone! Let's check out some flat rides!" I guess I've seen portable flume rides before... ...but this one struck me as being especially "temporary" looking. Genie-themed teacups? Sure, why not? Makes as much sense as dragon boats... ...or flying camels! That means it's covered in spicy sauce! At least they added some plywood cacti to look at during the kiddie train ride! Plenty of cars at Lightwater, both new... ...and vintage! Here's another one of those coconut shy games. I almost wish I had played one (but not at the equivalent of nearly $5 U.S.). This should get me some props from the general area of Alabama.... "This way to the Wave!" OK, this may seem a little ghetto... but I thought it was kind of fun! Follow the path between the fences! Yay! Lightwater had skatekarts (AKA Roller Racers), too! Let's stop in here for some lunch! This is where I had the cold, gross hot dog I mentioned earlier in the TR. Maybe I should have tried the chunky egg mayo instead! This is a flapjack. Apparently the term means something entirely different in the UK than it does in the U.S.! Cool waterslides at the park, as well. Hey, maybe that'll get the taste of that nasty hot dog out of my mouth! This was pretty good! It was kind of like Nestle's version of the "99." Why, yes I am! The park had some other really nice rides, as well, like these flying chairs. Supposedly, this Ferris wheel was a fairly recent addition. Apparently the park also had a mine ride at one time. No more. Swan boats! This carousel wasn't that old, but it sure was ornate! See? Bumper cars! True to other UK parks, Lightwater had some funky kiddie rides. Check out the Octopus! Is it just me, or does that strong man look like he has some sort of unpleasant disease (or really bad acne)? And then there was my favorite, the Clown-A-Round. 1. What is that clown doing to that poor horse? 2. Is the horse really a clown dressed as a horse? 3. Why is the horse named "Bimbo"? After riding everything of interest, Mike and I had some time to kill before departure, so we decided to take a ride on the train. They bite. POV shot! It's magical! In some parts of the U.S., this would be considered racist. In others, it would be the most profitable attraction at the park! Na na na na na na na na Pac-Man! Maybe I would have had a better lunch had I eaten at the Munchbox! My favorite food stand at the park, however was "Snack in the Mouth!" It's become a running joke when my stepdaughter-to-be says she's hungry for me to respond, "Would you like a snack in the mouth?" She always says "No!" for some reason.... And finally... yep, you guessed it: Crazy Golf! Coming up: Flamingoland!

^That's right! I forgot about the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" theme, but I do remember the Mickey Mouse/Schnorbitz theme: "Who's the biggest hound around that's here for you and me? S-C-H, N-O-R, B-I-T and Z. Schnooooorbitz! Schnooooorbitz!" I also forgot about the part that came right after Schnorbitz's bit. He made a joke about humping the dog, and everyone was laughing, and suddenly he got VERY serious and said something like, "I know we're having lots of fun out here tonight, but in hospitals around England, children are dying." Then made an appeal to all of us to donate to the Schnorbitz Fund for sick children. Then, as suddenly as the seriousness started, it was "Oh, here's another joke!"

Cool! I was surprised at how well done the Dungeon was during our visit last summer. I'm not sure how "5-D" would be different than "4-D", but I'm sure whatever it ends up being will be good. I guess they could squeeze a seance into the history of London somehow, but I'm not sure how a poltergeist would fit in. I hope they continue with the London history theme. The fact that it wasn't just random haunts is part of what made the attraction so great.

OK, so to keep us occupied during our final evening in Blackpool, Robb and Elissa arranged for us to attend a show at the Horseshoe Theatre called "Beyond Belief." And it was! I feel sorry for anyone who missed this special performance because words can't even come close to doing it justice! I'm going to describe what I remember of the show seven months later, and hopefully some of the others who attended can help fill in the blanks. The show began with two attractive women dancing on stage, followed by the introduction of magician Richard de Vere. The headliner, he opened his portion of the show by delivering a five-minute monolog about TPR and how wonderful it was that all these roller coaster enthusiasts chose to come to Blackpool to help stabalize the sinking economy. Then he did some magic that mostly involved disassembling and reassembling the girls as lights flashed and techno music played. They wore lab coats in one scene. Eventually, de Vere introduced a St. Bernard named Schnorbitz, which apparently was once owned by his mentor, famous British comedian Bernie Winters. He proceeded to ride Schnorbitz, then dry hump the dog from behind. I think someone from TPR got a photo of that; I wasn't sure whether photos were allowed, so I didn't take any once the show started (I kind of wish I had). We were told that Schnorbitz had a girlfriend, a small dog named Schnookie, and there were some sex jokes there. And then some guy named Marc sang a song. Moving on to the second act, a large woman named Mia Carea came out on stage and pretended (?) to be drunk as she delivered a bunch of jokes about how all the guys wanted her. She especially picked on Josh ("Jash") from our group, and that became a running joke for the rest of the show. She also came out into the audience and drank some guy's glass of wine in one gulp. Then de Vere came back on stage, caught an overweight woman supposedly getting up to go to the rest room (some of us thought she may have been a plant--most of us weren't sure) and called her up on stage. Then he proceeded to turn her into a teddy bear wearing the same color dress she had on as a human. Following intermission, de Vere and Carea came back on stage as dolls in a spoof of a 1950s British children's show most of had never heard of called "Watch With Mother" (thanks to Mike Moody for explaining that to me). They spent 15 minutes or so making jokes about toys including a "giant chopper" and "big red engine" (which wasn't even red!), then Marc came back on and sang another song, this time with his shirt unbuttoned to his waist. I seem to remember something with the girls dancing some more and maybe more magic, and then de Vere called a Scottish pre-teen dressed... um... unsuitably for her age to the stage and got her to tell a story about her drunk father and Santa Claus. I think there was some other stuff that happened... then at random, the woman who got up during intermission and was never seen again suddenly appeared wearing a bootleg Superman costume. De Vere "hypnotized" her to think she really was Superman, and then he made her levitate. And I think that was the end of the show. It was very weird, very random and very... TPR! A great way to end our time in Blackpool! AKA the show that lives up to its name! The theater was located in this awesome steamboat-shaped building. More vintage '70s style in the lobby! This is where the action happened! Once the show started, that is. Even though I had never heard of Schnorbitz, apparently he's pretty popular in England--he even had his own trash sucker at Pleasure Beach! Up next: Lightwater Valley!

On to part three! But before the photos, I want to say a BIG thank you to Robb and Elissa for putting this day together for us! I mean, Blackpool Pleasure Beach on its own would have been awesome, but add to that ERT on three major coasters, a backstage tour of Grand National (which, essentially, was a backstage tour of the park's central operation), meal vouchers and then an amazing show that evening? This day definitely made it into my top three TPR trip days of all time... and that's a pretty tough list to crack! I was having so much fun that I almost didn't make it back in time for the backstage tour of Grand National! These gentlemen led us through the "foribdden" areas and answered our questions. That's a lot of storage containers! And now, here are some pictures of Grand National for you to enjoy! It's just like a movie studio! Fun fact: Pleasure Beach's horticulture department is located inside Grand National! Employee bicycle parking! Oooh! Exclusive employee dining (I assume)! Valhalla show building! But we'll get there later.... Impossible was... less fun than I had hoped. Don't get me wrong; it was good for what it was. Except I was envisioning more of a full-blown funhouse rather than a miniature science center. At least it had funhouse mirrors.... Much like in all the Haunted Mansions, this fellow turned to look at you no matter where in the room you walked. Look out belooooooowwww! Swan or squirrel? You decide! Yep, this is a science center all right! I skipped the haunted swing ride at the end of Impossible in the interest of time. I considered skipping lunch, as well, but by this time it was mid-afternoon, and I was starting to feel pretty hungry. And we had meal vouchers, so I figured I'd grab something and go. Unfortunately, the tastiest part of this burger was the toothpick used to hold it together. But hey, I got a bendy straw! Trauma Towers sounds like the type of walk-through "funny" haunted attraction I absolutely would have loved! Unfortunately, today the building merely serves as a photo kiosk and dryer for the jumping fountains in front of it. (Yes, you can buy a photo of your child or yourself playing in the fountain.) During our backstage tour, park management told us this attraction probably will not be comig back due to liability issues. Thankfully, there were still a lot of great details to see from the outside. I'll have the carnal stake, please! With limited space to work with, Blackpool took its kiddie cars vertical! This was another attraction I skipped in the interest of time, but I would have loved to have ridden it... assuming they let adults on in the first place. One more coaster to ride! More cool theming! There's something very "Matterhorn" about this decor. This was a fun ride! Sort of makes me hope Flying Turns opens... someday. Look out below! What would a Blackpool TR be without the Avalanche Bears? The Laughing Man was really cool--sort of like a generic Laughing Sal. I wonder if he originally was found in here somewhere. Have I mentioned how much I loved the retro '70s-style signs throughout Blackpool? This was pretty cool, too. I think the crowd moved and cheered whenever a car went by. Since I hate walking around in wet clothes, I walked back to the hotel (wish that back gate had still been open!) to change into a spare set of clothes and shoes I brought with me especially to ride Valhalla. On the way, I saw this! Now, upon doing some research, I learned that "ABC" doesn't stand for "American Broadcasting Corp.," but "Associated British Corp.," and that the company went out of business in the late 1960s. So is this more Blackpool retro-ness, or am I missing something? "Please bring me back!" lol And now, time for the wettest flume ride in amusement park history: Valhalla! This was a very cool ride! Fire! Ice! Amazing Audio-Animatronics! Unfortunately, I got stuck with a boat full of rowdy Spanish teenagers (they knew only two words of English, apparently, and one of them was "you"). One of them elbowed me in the nose on the last drop, and that stung for a little while after. But it was an amazing ride, nonetheless! And despite wearing my trusty TPR poncho, I did indeed get soaked through and through. And what better way to conclude the day than with ERT on Grand National? We see you, red train! Grand National is one of only three mobius loop racing coasters left in the world. And because the track's sides are in close proximity, it's possible to do this! The coaster is really amazing... ...but don't take my word for it! We had a small window of time between the end of ERT and the park's closing. Robb encouraged us all to visit Robin Ross, the "Voice of Blackpool" at the in-park radio station, Holiday Rock FM, at some point during the day, so Mike and I took the opportunity to do so. I used to work in radio myself, so it was especally fun chatting with Robin about the state of British radio versus American radio. Just like Dionne Warwick! We also made time to stop by a gift shop on the way out. The K'nex models here were pretty great! I had never seen this one before. "Wrap that Euro-Fighter up to go, please!" Ohhhkaaayyy.... I'll have some pop, sweets and crisps, please! On the way back to the hotel at park closing, Mike took John and me into a restaurant called Mr. Chippy for some "proper" fish and chips. These are them. Yes, Styrofoam box, I WILL do the right thing! Up next: A special tribute to "Beyond Belief!"

Of those choices, I've been to Chicago and San Antonio. Chicago had more things to "do" in the way of museums and attractions. Navy Pier was OK, the Museum of Science and Industry was pretty neat, and we enjoyed SFGAm, as well as a stop at Superdawg Drive-In on the way back. Here's the TR: http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=51250&hilit=midwest&start=20 Of the two, however, I prefered San Antonio. The ambiance was great, as was the food, and there were still plenty of great non-park things to do (Alamo, Riverwalk, Hemisfair Park, cheesy museums, Ripley's if you into that sort of thing, etc.). I went in the off season, so I can't offer any personal opinions of the parks, but I enjoyed my time in the city. It was a lot cheaper than Chicago, too! TR: http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=48636&p=688684&hilit=Antonio#p688684

^^To be honest, I probably woud have missed it, too, had it not been on Mike Moody's radar. It didn't really stand out among all the flat rides. Enjoy the second installment of Blackpool Pleasure Beach! What's that over there? Could it be one of the only two Noah's Arks left in existence? Um... no. Blackpool gutted its historic Noah's Ark, leaving Kennywood's as the last complete one on Earth. Its shell remains as the park's main entrance. They opened a back gate for us during ERT, so we didn't get to see the entryway in all its glory until later in the day. Defunct theming! Though it's a shame that Blackpool got rid of one of its most historic attractions (park management told us it was due to the liability issues related to walk-through attractions), it's nice that they at least kept the facade. Noah was a cop? Who knew? This is how the ride looked back in the day. It still rocks thanks to this mechanism, on display at the little museum inside. And we all know how much I like amusement park museums! Unfortunately, this one didn't feature much (yet) besides the rocking mechanism and a few old photos. Anyway... there are other historic attractions to be ridden! Witness the Derby Racer! This is one of only three operating derby racers left in existence, the others being at Cedar Point and Rye Playland. I don't know how the ones at Rye Playland are, but I was a little let down to see that Blackpool had fixed their horses in place so as not to move back and forth in a "race" as was intended. But Mike didn't seem to mind! Neither did John! After awhile, I split off from the group to do some solo exploring. Mike strongly encouraged me to check out this restaurant. Well that's pretty cool! And here it is! The restaurant was made to look like nighttime in the U.S. South. Sound familiar to anyone who's ever been to Disneyland? They even have a water ride running through the restaurant. This is the Blue Grotto section of the River Caves. "Hey, where's the shack with the guy playing banjo?" But this was the real reason Mike encouranged me to visit: a look at the park's old Gold Mine dark ride, which was closed during our visit. Too bad. It looked like a really fun ride, similar to the Calico Mine Train at Knotts. "Sorry you didn't get to see our glory hole!" Oh well. I got a souvenir photo, anyway. Speaking of trains.... Check out the wildlife along Beaver Creek! I like candy! Space Invader 2 was another closed ride I think I would have enjoyed. Apparently it is (or was) an indoor bobsled coaster--sort of a Space Mountain lite. This would go over well at some parks in the South! More groovy '70s lettering and a shot for our good friend BeamerBoy. Gratuitous shot of Irn Bru Revolution: check! These coin-ops looked pretty cool. I'm always in favor of innovative new games. The Chinese Puzzle Maze was on my list of things to do. Wait? You get wet in this maze? With this in mind and estimating the time it would have taken to go through versus time I could be riding other rides, I chose to skip it. Good thing; even without it, I barely got done everything else on my "must do" list! Another carousel with cool old marquee signage. At the beginning of the day, Robb told us to take a good look at Beaver Creek. He couldn't say anything at the time, but he knew about the impending Nickelodeon takeover. Beaver! Not sure who this was supposed to be... but whoever he was, he's gone now! Not sure who this is, either... ...but after doing some research, I suspect he has something to do with Eddie Stobart, much like this convoy ride. Hey... didn't we just see you at another park? Tetley? Teacups? Makes sense! Time for another credit! When I walked up with my TPR name badge on, the operator said, "Another one of you!?" I guess this is the Blue Flyer now? Too bad Roller Coaster wasn't open during our visit. At least the Nickelodeon deal gave it a new lease on life as the Nickelodeon Streak. Awesome tables! I wonder what's so magical about these dragons. Oh! They're so magical that they disappeared! There's something very familliar about that name.... Now opening for Kiss.... Here comes the choo-choo to take us to Happytown! This ride was sort of like Disneyland's "America Sings." Only without the "America." "Hi, I'm Tracy Tree!" Apparently this ice skating show was Blackpool's big attraction for the year. And we'll end this update with Tango Ice Blast: The Ride! Up next: even more Blackpool Pleasure Beach, including some cool behind-the-scenes action. Until then!

Great TR! The Polynesian is, by far, my favorite Disney resort.

OK, so here's the deal: Blackpool Pleasure Beach played an enormous role in my wanting to do the UK Tour in the first place. Did it live up to my expectations? Can we say, "Knoebels of the UK"? Our day at Blackpool was one of the most amazing of my life, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything! Brace yourselves for a massive four-part TR, starting... now! Nothing like a hearty UK breakfast to prepare for a marathon day at one of the world's most amazing parks! First up: ERT on the Pepsi Max Big One! Going up (and up and up and up...)! But enough of that.... The No. 1 reason I had wanted for years to visit Blackpool was to ride the Steeplechase. And remember how I said Blackpool seemed a little... stuck in the '70s? Look at that sign! It's awesome! This ride sure has a lot of restrictions! Steeplechase ERT? I think I can die now! OK, if you haven't figured it out by now, this portion of the TR is going to contain A LOT of Steeplechase! So if you don't like Steeplechase photos, scroll down now. There's plenty more Blackpool to see there! It's just like Coney Island in the '20s... only with more safety restraints! Gentlemen, start your horses! Well... at least they're not riding bareback! Everyone has fun on Steeplechase! Requisite Mike Moody photo! I rode a total of 17 times... and I only lost once! You've got to know when to lean into the turns. More plastic sheep! Blackpool is chocked full of these little oddball touches that make it so enjoyable. That's one heck of a go-cart! WTF? Well, what do you know? Mike Austin was right! Frankfurters are rubbish! Swamp buggies? Does England have swamps? It's like if "It's a Small World" was comprised entirely of ethnic stereotypes (which it kind of is, I guess). AKA the Backlot Stunt Buffet. Hey, this looks a lot like something I saw last year at Universal Studios Hollywood.... I can't decide whether Mike's assessment of how much I would enjoy this ride was a good thing: "You'll like it. It's really politically incorrect!" He was right on both counts! Apparently the "Tunnel of Love" sign was added to suit the needs of a UK soap opera filming on location... and Blackpool being Blackpool, they just kind of kept it. Can't have a British park without cheesy fiberglass dinosaurs (that's a good thing)! Don't look into the eyes of Mara! "I liked the River Caves thiiiiiiiis much!" I spy a credit! And now you know. Did I mention it was one of the world's last wooden mice? Actually, the cars made it seem more like a wild Zhu Zhu Pet! That's one heck of a souvenir! This was an awesome credit! Even the station was amazing! Noted! Wheee! I sat out Infusion (inversions and I normally don't agree), but I enjoyed taking pictures while waiting for the rest of the group. Ah, that's more my speed! I never really understood the whole skeleton spider concept... but whatever works! Fun fact: "The General" was the train pursued in the Great Locomotive Chase of the Civil War (and 1956 Disney film fame). And the "97" was the mail train involved in a deadly 1903 accident memorialized in a popular folk ballad recorded by the likes of Woodie Guthrie, Johnny Cash and Boxcar Willie. Check out Slimer! The Ghost Train's exterior was full of detail! Na na na na na na na na... Bat! "That was... interesting." Not to be confused with the "curiousness" of the "Alice in Wonderland" ride. We got to ride with the March Hare! And the rest! "Come play with us!" Is it just me, or does the tortoise look like he's vomiting blue goo? This is how I know what day I visited Blackpool! The Flying Machines were really cool! This type of ride was a staple at many U.S. parks in the '30s and '40s, but nearly none are left today. It's just like the Golden Zephyr at Disney's California Adventure... only authentic! These things go a lot higher--and faster--than it seems from the ground. Woooo-hoooo! Next up: lots more Blackpool!

Our last stop of Day 6 was Gulliver's World in Warrington. Some people were a little skeptical about spending so much time at a kiddie park--especially one that doesn't usually allow adults without children. However, Robb and Elissa convinced them to make a special exception for us, and I think that for many (maybe all) of us, it was the surprise hit of the trip! There was so much to do, it would have been fun to have spent a few more hours here. What's the last U.S. kiddie park you visited that you could make that statement about? Anyway, enjoy the photos! Behind this unassuming building lies literally hours of fun for all ages! "Hi, I'm Gulliver. And behind me are my Lilliputians!" "Hi, I'm Gully the Mouse, not to be confused with Gulliver. The park may be named after a fictional literary giant, but I sell more merchandise!" And that's when things started to get strange.... Pretty! It was around the time I was taking this shot when they announced over the park's speaker system, "Attention parents: Please note that there is a group of roller coaster enthusiasts visiting Gulliver's World today. Please do not be alarmed if you see them unaccompanied by children" or something like that. I've never been with a tour group before that required its own special advisory! That's two castles today that have been bigger than Disneyland's! There were lots of fun little unattended attractions like these throughout the park. How many seconds do you think they would last in the U.S.? First stop: Wild Mine Ride! OK, enough with the wild mouse. Time for some Tomb Raider! Hey, I don't see Lara Croft anywhere! Behold: the entrance to Catastrophe Canyon... ...AKA the raft ride with a smoking Easter Island head! And let us not forget the Stoned Tractor Ride! "Hey! This TR is awesome!" Look! We found the Lost World! OK, seriously, how lost is the Lost World when they have a train that takes you right there? "Grrr... we escaped from Drayton Manor, but we didn't get far!" Aww... but I wanted to see dinosaurs breed! Teacups themed as hatched dinosaur eggs? Neat! Now we know how the dinosaurs really died... malaria! The Flight of the Pteranodon looked pretty cool... but we had limited time and a bunch of amazing attractions to check out before we moved to the "B" list. (We never made it to the "B" list.) This is where all the T-Rexes come to chill after a hard day at work. Carousel of Evolution? Oh, we've GOTTA check this out! Mouse in a space suit, preparing to time travel? Cue the music! "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow, one where all the dinosaurs are dead... "...there's a great big beautiful tomorrow, because man evolved from them, I said!" Thankfully, Mike talked me out of standing in line for the Dino Safari Tour. That gave us more time for... ...The Count's Haunted Mansion! I ain't afraid of no ghost! OK, so in the middle of this friendly little kiddie park is The Count's Haunted Mansion, AKA the Ghost House, a walk-through haunted house featuring some of the most demented, piss-your-pants scary dioramas ever witnessed by mankind. And then in the middle of it all, they have these fluorescent orange phrases... that don't entirely make a lot of sense. That must be how they spell it in the UK.... I think I saw this on the menu back at Sipson Tandoori! Not to be confused with "Super Loo".... Oh, look! Happy stuff upstairs! Holy crap! That's not happy stuff! That's a devil with a bloody knife! "You think that's disturbing? You ain't seen nothin' yet!" Forget the dude burying the skull... whose hand is that!? Dinner is served! "Hey, you're not Edward!" "Hey, kids! When you're done in here, go ride the carousel! It's fun!" Oh, and did I mention that throughout the entire walk-through, the grotesque images were interspersed with dioramas depicting drunken monks? WTF? This seems familiar somehow.... The card maze looked like a pretty fun little attraction for the 7-and-under set. Hurry! We're late... ...for the antique car ride! Come, let's visit our friends Ben the Depressed Bunny... ...and Dora the Mersplorer! Yay! Wild West town! Somehow, their peek-ins weren't quite as good as the ones at Knotts.... Hey, my fiancee works for Wells Fargo! Adventure Fort! Hmm... that must be code for... ..."coaster credit!" (Except this one may have been powered--I don't remember.) I loved that they actually had Calvary officers in the turrets. I also loved that they only bothered to build them from the waists up! Those of us who watched Saturday morning television or participated in elementary school gym class during a certain era will appreciate these. Hey, they moved the entire attraction here from Florida! Step right up, folks! See the wild tricycles! Did I mention that Gulliver's had some... interesting attractions? Eww.... Random pirate ship! If there are only two people on the ride, and they're both TPR members... does it constitute a TPR "takeover"? It's like a ghetto Fun Town Fire Academy! Meanwhile, Michael Jackson lies in repose. Who here remembers the part in "Gulliver's Travels" where Pluto and the flying dragon totally saved Dorothy from the Wicked Witch of the West? Awwwww.... As the park prepared to close, TPR gathered here to wait for ERT. The place sort of had a "Blue Bayou" vibe going for it. Some people are easily amused! Tiny chairs! I think this thing escaped from the Ghost House! While waiting for the park to clear, we feasted on traditional English tea and biscuits. OK, so let me get this straight... digestive biscuits don't really aid in digestion, and bourbon creams are really chocolate? WTF, England? And finally it was time for ERT on the most insane kiddie coaster ever... Antelope! The park built this entirely in house. And I don't mean just the model, but the coaster itself! Noted! OK, Antelope (named for Gulliver's ship) was undoubtedly the roughest coaster I've ever ridden... and I've been on Predator at Darien Lake! During the first go-around, I honestly thought my sternum may have been fractured... and then they didn't unlock the restraints when we returned to the station and sent us around again! It was the most painful ride of my life. Fortunately, the majority of the soreness ended by the time we got back on the bus, and I was better--if badly bruised--by the next morning. They have no clue what's about to happen to them! They paused ERT to grease the track! Now it's rough AND fast! But enough about my pain. The Antelope's photo station doubled as a crepe station... and that's where we met the famous Pancake Girls! They definitely made ERT more interesting! And they made some darned fine crepes, as well! This one was flavored with lemon juice and sugar. And the knife and fork were made from wood! It made a tasty snack for the ride back to Blackpool, where we gathered for dinner at The Grill. The restaurant's interior was awesome! The chicken was good... but it didn't come close to the oversized American portions to which my overgrown stomach has become accustomed. Thankfully, the lemon tart dessert, coupled with some snack exchange leftovers, helped fill the void! Up next: A massive, multi-part report from one of the greatest parks in the world--Blackpool Pleasure Beach!

Here's my take: External hard drive (mainly for photo storage) Flash drive (for photo transfers) "Futurama" volume 5 DVD "Waking Sleeping Beauty" DVD "The Boys" DVD (Sherman brothers) Genealogy DVD Old commercials DVD "Why? Because We LIke You" book ("Mickey Mouse Club" history) "The Vault of Walt" book "The Accidental Billionaires" book (on which the movie "The Social Network" was based) "Ambulance Girl" book Jeans Tire pump (to replace the one my dad "borrowed" from me... permanently, apparenty) Flashlight 1950s Baltimore Orioles baseball cards World's Fair memorabilia from various years Creminelli sausage Hickory Farms sausage Paula Deen ham sausage Lots of snacks from Harry & David (including my favorite, smoked garlic mozzarella dip) Old Bay snack mix Various candy and cookies Gift cards from Cracker Barrel, Denny's and Pizza Hut Visa gift card Cash

Big Bad Wolf was my first "real" roller coaster (and I didn't ride another one for a number of years thereafter... but I digress). I'm a fan of Arrow suspendeds, and as with many out there, I thought BBW was the best of the bunch. Having said that, I live less than four hours from the park, and I didn't bother making a special trip for "one last ride." Jason "And I'm the most nostalgic person I know!" R.

No clue what I'm actually getting, as I don't normally make a list. However, per my fiancee's request, I did write down a few things this year. They include: "Futurama" volume 5 on DVD "The Boys" DVD (about the Sherman brothers) "Waking Sleeping Beauty" DVD "The Vault of Walt" book "Why? Because We Like You" book (history of the original "Mickey Mouse Club") "The Accidental Billionaires" book (on which the movie "The Social Network" was based) Subsciption to "The Wrapper" (trading card collectors' magazine) Idaho Spuds candy Crimenilli dry-cured sausages I told her to pick from it and surprise me. I'm sure I'll be getting some neat surprises from my parents. My dad is really good at finding great old stuff on eBay.

When I joined Club TPR early in the year, I received a download of my choice from the TPR library, and in preparation for the UK Trip, I chose... yeah, you guessed it, the UK Coaster Expedition DVD. One of the neatest-looking places on that edition was Southport Pleasureland, what with its human roulette wheel. I've always wanted to try one of those! Sadly, Pleasureland closed down before I got the chance to go there... but that didn't stop New Pleasureland from cropping up in its place! Instead of a permanent amusement park, New Pleasureland is more or less a resting ground for carnival rides when they aren't out on the circuit. Because different rides at the "park" are owned by different companies (and ever-changing, at that), not all of them were open, and we weren't able to get all the credits there. That said, the one company that did have representatives on the premesis treated us like kings (and queens)! Sorry, folks. Park's closed. The moose out front should have told you. Oh, this looks promising! In the UK, even the closed, abandoned amusement parks still have miniature golf courses! At least they still have a miniature railway. Maybe we should ride it. Um... on second thought, maybe not. This was the main reason we were here: the world's scariest Wild Cat! The guy on the left made sure the safety restraints were in place--and by that, I mean still attached to the car, not necessarily locked or buckled. The guy on the right pushed the car onto the lift hill (no, really). This was taken sometime after the first car got stuck on the track.... Ah, nothing like a hot cup of coffee and a shirtless early morning walk through the midway! What do 101 Dalmatians, Fred Flintstone's car, a pirate ship and a pair of carousel horses have in common? They're all part of this train! Much like Camelot, this place had some really funky kiddie flats. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that unlike Camelot's, none of them were licensed! Well, if both Superman AND Santa Claus say this Ferris wheel's good.... Elvis and the Dragons? Sounds like a new Adult Swim show to me! This carousel was my absolute favorite when it came to licensing issues. Not to say U.S. carnivals don't bend copyright laws sometimes, but as over the top as it is in the UK, I've got to suspect it's harder to win an infringement suit over there. "Hi, I'm Barbie... ...come ride my Soviet tank!" It's the oil spill rapids ride! Abdul's Dilemma? His ride's not open. On the plus side, the Pleasureland Pavillion still looked in top shape. And it looked like they were trying to retrofit a ghost train into what I think someone said was the old funhouse building. No Happy Caterpillar for us today But we did get to ride some rides. It took them a few minutes to get the Ski Jump going, but once they did, it was insane! We also got to ride the officially licensed (um...) Spider-Man trabant. Some of us even got bonus "rides"! And then there was the bumper car takeover! Remember, it's all fun and games... ...until someone gets hurt! Up next: the surprise hit of the trip--Gulliver's World!

It was a little torturous waking up practically inside Blackpool Pleasure Beach and not being able to go inside... but we had other things to do. Day 6 was sort of like Christmas Eve--the big day was coming, but there was plenty to keep us occupied in the meantime. This was meant as a "credit whore" day, sort of doing due diligence to make sure we covered all the "other" coasters in the area--but it turned out to be one of the best days of the trip! Our adventure began in Camelot.... TPR members and roller coasters... just like lemmings off a cliff! Hey, it's bigger than Disneyland's! "Switch off before closing." Hey, this is bigger than Disneyland's too! And I ain't lion! Hey, their zoo has a dragon! Look, they sent a go-kart for us! "Yeah, I mean, I'd like to thank God, my mother, Intamin and all the members of Club TPR. And especially my daughter, Kristen, and my wife, Elissa... we did it, baby!" First up: ERT on Knightmare! All aboard the train! Those who had ridden this coaster in Japan said it lost a little something in its move to the UK... but I thought it was great! Then we had ERT on Whirlwind! Camelot had a lot of odd little kiddie flats. Case in point! It's like a peppermint with arms! Itt seems like every park in the UK has one of these kiddie driving school attractions. Oh, now this should be good! This was much scarier than anything inside! Our doom buggy awaits! Smuffy's Dungeon may not have been that scary... but this trail would make a perfect Halloween haunt! It's the diesel dragon! Hooray for gasoline-powered coasters! Caterpillar Capers was your standard-issue Wacky Worm... ...with dragon trash can theming! If only they actually gave you lances on the bumper cars.... A pirate ride in the middle of a Medieval-themed park? Why not! Camelot is home to not only one... ...but two water rides! It's kind of like if Hogwards had a University of Phoenix division! No, Merlin, I will not touch your big coil! Best hot dog in the world? We'll see about that! The hot dog was OK... but the sweet mustard on it was fantastic! Unfortunately, other Rollovers I had during the trip weren't as good without it (and the one at Lightwater Valley was... well, no mustard on Earth could have helped it!). I guess this is the gate you go to if you ride Whirlwind too many times! Southport Pleasureland coming up next.

^^Nothing I or anyone else will post online could ever come even a tiny bit close to portraying the epic-ness that was "Beyond Belief." I honestly think Robb and Elissa just slipped us some LSD and it was a mass hallucination!

^^Thanks, Larry! ^Chicken burger? Eww.... See, that's why I stuck to the pasty with a side of flirtations! Moving right along, our second stop of Day 5 was the Blackpool area, which served as our base camp for a few days. There definitely was a feeling of excitement in the air as we explored the area around the park, even though it would be another two days before we actually rode anything there. Unlike the seaside resorts in the U.S., Blackpool was virtually dead after about 6 p.m. Mike said a lot of it (as well as many of the empty storefronts) had to do with the sagging economy. I guess when it comes down to buying bangers and mash or going on vacation, the bangers are going to win. Anyway, we enjoyed it. Onward! It kind of seemed like Blackpool made it to the 1970s... then stopped. There was a lot of retro signage, and the whole place gave off sort of a vague seediness reminiscent of Coney Island before automatic weapons were easily accessible. It's big... it's blue... it must be our hotel! You'd think the Big Blue Hotel would have a big blue sign. Alas.... I love Matt Frewer! Not a bad view at all from our hotel! "Hey! Get off the hotel property and go explore Blackpool before I call the cops!" These lights were everywhere! Mike said they had to do with a special event held in the fall. This particular string sparked an intense "Dr. Who" conversation. It would have been neat to have seen all these lit up. But then, I never thought I'd get to go to Blackpool in my lifetime at all, so "disappointment" really wasn't in the vocabulary! Now that's my kind of restaurant! With a carousel bar to boot! Too bad they were closed Oooh, scary! Yuk yuk yuk! These puns were likely scarier than anything inside! This is what happens when the restraint fails on Pepsi Max Big One! Another haunted house!? If there's a theme park in England, there must be a miniature golf course within 20 feet. This one looked nicely maintained (if closed for the evening). Indoor water park! Alton's was better because we got ERT there.... Geez, another haunted house? That makes three of them in a two-block stretch... and that doesn't even include what's inside the park! This one looked neat enough that a few of us actually talked about meeting up to check it out on our Blackpool park day. Unfortunately, there was so much to do at the park that we (or at least I) never made it. Lady, it's nothing to lose your head over! Unlike the other haunted houses, Carnesky's went for "old scary" rather than "funny scary" or "terrifying scary." For us, I think that's what gave it its edge. At least on the outside. Another beach resort casino/arcade... and this one had "American pool!" Is American pool different than British pool? Man, this place was like an acid trip come to life! Flava Flav T-Rex says it's time for dinner! I don't remember if I felt this way at the time, but looking back at the trip from the six-month point, the Big Blue Hotel meal was definitely the best of the trip. They even let Elissa serve as hostess! Ladies and gentlemen, this is black pudding, AKA blood sausage. It's exactly what it sounds like. And it was delicious! I was pleasantly surprised. This chicken was amazing! Stuffed with blue cheese, wrapped in bacon, grilled and gravy-fied! But neither of those items had anything on the treacle pudding with custard! This may well be the best dessert I've ever tasted (and I've tasted a LOT of desserts)! They actually have streetcorner stands for rock in the UK? Somehow, I suspect there's a translation issue.... (And there was. Apparently "rock" in the UK isn't slang for cocaine, but is a type of hard/chewy candy sold at seashore locations much in the same way as saltwater taffy in the U.S. And yes, it's pretty darned tasty.) I spy Blackpool Tower! Whale tail! So, this was cool. The waves rushed into these holes... ...making sounds similar to air passing over the mouth of a Coke bottle, which were then amplified by this harmonium, creating the Blackpool High Tide Organ! I'd never seen (or heard) anything like it. You'd think some of these TPRers had never seen an ocean before! In the distance, a closed pleasure pier loomed. Meanwhile, Pepsi Max Big One stood tall, having ceased operation for the evening. It was tough for a bunch of amusement park enthusiasts to see all those closed rides! Oh well. We may not have had theme parks, and the roller coasters were closed for the night, but we still had... There are two very funny things about this sign. Can you spot them? This makes one of those two things even funnier! I can only imagine this is what the Alveys' home looks like on Christmas! Fun fact: By 9 p.m. in Blackpool, the only thing open is McDonald's! Two things McDonald's in the U.S. needs to bring over: Mars milkshakes and whatever those cheese bite things were called. They were awesome, and the sweet red sauce (raspberry?) made them even better! This was where I unleashed my best British impressions. Mike informed me that the only American allowed to use "me" as a pronoun in place of "I" and get away with it is Popeye. Hey, there's always room for dessert! I'll take some ummies, a few do-nuts and a naughty rock novelty, please. That's it for our first night in Blackpool. Keep your eyes peeled for the next installment, when TPR invades Camelot!

So... three months between updates isn't that bad, is it? With the next week and a half off for the holidays, my hope is to finish this up before the new year. Wish me luck! Day 5 began with a stop at Drayton Manor... and a visit from Mike's mom and sister! Unfortunately, I didn't get photos of them... and I got so caught up in taking Thomas Town photos that I lost them (and Mike) shortly after they arrived. But the important thing is, we all had fun! Enjoy! Good thing all these parks had signs. They tend to run together after awhile! Faster than a burrito supreme! More powerful than 1,000 plungers! Able to drain large amounts of fecal matter in a single flush! Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... Super Loo! Not to be confused with super Lou! (Photo stolen from Cameron.) Apocalypse is three, three, yes, three drop tower rides in one! And if you act now (and you're a guy), we can have you singing soprano with just one ride on our "floorless" model. But wait, there's more! (OK, actually, there's not.) Ja, wie wir die Drunken Barrels! If only those barrels were really full of sweet, sweet beer.... I was disappointed the shooting dark ride was closed... especially after Mike informed me it was named after a cereal! I haven't ridden a cereal-themed ride since Opryland closed! "Happy Feet 4-D" was awesomely bad! Basically, they condensed the movie to 10 minutes and sprayed water on you at wholly inappropriate times. Somehow, on a TPR trip, moments like this are the best things ever! The Haunting was pretty cool and really well themed. Basically, some paranormal investigators were scoping the place out when they disappeared... and now we're being sent in to search for them. The first part was a sort of miniature walk-through haunted house with a couple neat effects, followed by a ride on a haunted swing. I was really pleasantly surprised. I ain't afraid of no ghost! A pirate ship over water. So simple, yet so effective. Six Flags, Cedar Fair--are you paying attention? Not the Lady Gay. The Buffalo Mountain Coaster wins points for having absolutely nothing to do with a mountain... ...and being 100 percent non-PC! It was fun to see that several of the UK carousels still carried traditional marquee panels. I can't think of a single carousel in the U.S. that still has them (though I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong). If Arizona had a proper amusement park, it probably would look something like this. Only, you know, with a real cactus. This seems a lot differnt than the Maelstrom in Epcot.... Can't do this at Six Flags anymore! This was, by far, the best Thomas Town (er, Land) I've ever seen. And they even have the Fat Controller! OMG! OMG! It's Thomas! OMG! Now that's the Harold ride done right! Cranky is cranky... mostly because people keep yanking his crank. This is the Rocking Bulstrode. What exactly is a Bulstrode, anyway? These are the Troublesome Trucks. They can jump up to 500 feet. Don't be shy, Percy! Come on out and take a bow! "I'm Craaaaazy Bertie Bus! Gimme some candy!" Diesel's Locomotion Mayhem is a lot like Ladybug Boogie at Disney's California Adventure... only it works more than 20 percent of the time. Lady's Carousel was... well, the picture kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? The plastic sheep in this photo foreshadow a much more deviant picture in the Fantasy Island portion of this TR. You've been warned. Looks like Emily lives in a district without a lot of building codes. De planes! De planes! Real bulldozers are much sadder than this. Pan for fossils AND buy ice cream? Talk about your one-stop shop! Mike told me Excalibur was not to be missed... so I didn't miss it! "It's a knight's world after all... it's a knight's world after all...." Cool! Maybe we'll get to meet Simon Belmont! Oh wait.... His spear went limp! Tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, you bastard! Ba-dum-ching! And so our tour begins. Knight hole! This is where the boats hang out on their day off. "Victory is mine!" I've got a bad feeling about this.... Book No. 8: "Harry Potter and the Chair That was Too Big." *spoiler alert* Holy crap! The ride narrator was a dragon the whole time! Fun fact: Elissa spent the rest of the day searching for a cashpoint that distributed groats. Those can't be real. We're not even at Universal Orlando! Oh, the puns! The horrible, horrible puns! Ever wonder what Pirates of the Caribbean would be like had it been built with 1/100th of its original budget? Then Pirate Adventure is the ride for you! "Yo ho, yo ho, a jerky, limited-motion life for me!" Sky rides are always fun. Hey, I've ridden your overseas cousin at Six Flags America! More fun: Sombrero or unattended golf cart? You decide! It seemed like in most parts of England, amusement parks weren't allowed to be built unless there was a building on site that once belonged to a now-dead noble. This was Drayton Manor's. Taters and beans! Mmm mmm good! Without my trusty English-to-English translator, Mike, by my side, I mispronounced "pasty" when I tried to order this, and it took the girl at the register a moment to figure out what I was saying. Fortunately, she was charmed by my American accent and asked me to take her to Miami. I think we may be engaged. Score one for themed trash cans. Fun fact No. 1: Anyone in England caught running an amusement park of 20 acres or more without a zoo on site will be sentenced to death by llama. Fun fact No. 2: All zoos in England must contain meerkats... ...and penguins. It was a Drayton Manor that I finally broke down and bought a soft-serve Cornetto. Just watching them make it was a treat. Basically, they take a cup of ice cream, put it in something that looks like an industrial juicer, pull down on the lever, and it ends up looking like this. And it tasted good, too! Do we have this ice cream technology in the U.S.? I've never seen it. Maybe the portions are too small ? And now for the moment you've all been waiting for... a tour of Dinosaurland! Dinosaurland contains at least one 2-D generic caveman. That's how you know it's going to be awesome! What!? Oh noes! Not to fear! Dino Trail may not have been located inside a dank, dark cave, but it still had plenty of the giant cheesy fiberglass reptiles we've all come to love and expect from such attractions. "Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!" "Hey kids! Catch my new movie on Syfy this March!" One of these things is not like the other.... His name is Earl. (Yay, two obsolete TV show references in the same four-word caption!) You know, if Walt Disney hadn't been so into trains, I wonder how many parks would actually have them? Ladies and gentlemen, the back side of water! When I was a kid, all we had were horses. Stormforce-10 was the best looking ride in the park! By this point, I had rejoined my translator, Mike, who informed me that "splash mac" was British for "poncho." Time for a TPR takeover of Shockwave... ...and G-Force! Had I not ridden the train, I likely never would have noticed Black Revolver. That was one fortuitous train ride! It was an indoor Waltzer with lighting effects and music! I've been a big fan of these types of rides ever since the epic takeover of DelGrosso's Space Odyssey during my inaugural TPR trip (and I still crank "Tainted Love" whenever I hear it on my car radio because of that, too). Personally, I would have given him the death penalty. An old noble's home, a zoo AND a mini golf course? It's like the British amusement park trifecta! Thanks, Drayton Manor! But we're not going home; we're going to Blackpool. Coming up next!

Time for the year-end tally: Magic Kingdom Epcot Disney-Pixar Studios Disney's Animal Kingdom Six Flags America Six Flags Great Adventure Trimpers Rides Jolly Roger on the Pier Adventure Island Chessington Worlds of Adventure Coney Beach Oakwood Alton Towers Drayton Manor Southport New Pleasureland Gulliver's Warrington Blackpool Pleasure Beach Lightwater Valley Flamingoland Pleasure Island Fantasy Island Botton's Pleasure Beach Thorpe Park Dollywood Lagoon Kings Dominion Dutch Wonderland Twenty-seven in all.

Robb introduced us to this fascinating DVD during the West Coast trip....

I just got back in from watching the lunar eclipse at its peak. This is the first time I've seen one, and it was amazing! Wish I'd had a telescope to see it really well, but even with the naked eye, it was incredible! Anyone else catch it? What did you think?