natatomic

^Some chance is better than no chance, yes? But, le sigh, the latter is all he has now. But socalMAN123 aside, the longer I stay in this game, the better the chances are for the rest of you. Keep that in mind these next few weeks...

Shame. I might've let you get to second base some time if you didn't turn on me. Oh well. Your loss.

Where's the next round?

Two more. I think I'll use Kong as my main choice. I like phaser on laser, too, but the photoshop job is better on this one. Bong on Kong Fallon on Talon

If I don't have a husband and/or kids when I'm 35, I'll give you a call, and maybe we can work something out. We'll have 5 kids and name them Lennox Ford, Lennox Ville, Lennox Town, Lennox Ton, and Lennox Upon Avon. Two will be bleeding-heart liberals, two will be uptight conservatives, and one will be Ralph Nader. Sound like a plan? Yes, I now where a sexy, sexy mouthpiece to bed most nights, and my jaw is about 90% back to normal. It still hurts whenever I eat wraps and granola bars though (don't ask me, I don't get it either), so I guess I'm just not allowed to eat healthy stuff anymore, oh darn. Um, yeah, probably. But on the bright side, you fit in perfectly around here. And thanks to everyone else for the comments!

I like to appeal to the geek in all of us. Phaser on Laser!

^Ahem, sir? May I offer you a lozenge? Thank you! I'd say it was one of my least favorites, but that probably has to do A LOT with the fact that I had to actually take the pictures, sort through them, size them all down, upload them one at a time in some sort of sensible order, rack my brain for some witty, earth shattering captions, not stick my head in the oven when I'd lose the 99% finished report after my computer froze, upload the photos one at a time once more, and then try to remember what the heck I had so wittily* come up with earlier. That's hard work! It's not all knee-slaps and rib-splits on THIS side of the trip report, you know. Hmm, hope I didn't just spoil the magic for all of you. Oh, okay. I'm, like, 96% kidding. I love my reports as much as the next guy, I suppose, and I'm glad to hear that so many of you enjoyed my TR. It makes my insides tingle. :} *Whoa, my world was rocked when the word "wittily" did not get caught by the spell checker. And that was a very unfortunate alliteration in the first half of that sentence. I apologize. Wow, I never thought I could make a man cover so wide a range of emoticons. Did you hear that clap just now? That was me, self-high-fiving.

1. 3 videos 2. Firefox 3 3. The first and third one stream perfectly. The second one played faster than it loaded, and it ended up pausing every 5 seconds or so. 4. Your mom is excited about TPR TV.

Day 5, part 3: DelGrosso's This is it, folks! The final park! And I finished it before the the new year! If that's not an accomplishment, I don't know what is. So, DelGrosso's. Don't be fooled, this is not an amusement park with good food. This is a restaurant with good amusement. And if you disagree with that statement, the man who owns the park will probably shoot you for saying so, so you best keep your opinion to yourself. I do not kid. The owner came out and talked to us to give us the history of the park, and it went like this: "Sauce sauce sauce factory sauce. Sauce sauce sauce sauce sauce my grandfather sauce sauce sauce. Sauce sauce park across the street sauce sauce sauce sauce eggplant parmesan sauce sauce. Oh, and please try our sauce before you go. Sauce." That's word for word, too. I'm sure Tony has the video tape to prove it. I can't, in good consciousness, end with a photo of Robb possibly, um, playing with his own wacky worm, so I'll end with this totally innocent shot of people riding up and down on an erect shaft. (Psssst...there might be a bonus park TR posted sometime in the next week or so. So stick around.) Robb, I'm almost afraid to ask, but what the heck are you filming yourself doing? Then again, some people are easily thrilled anyway. Wow, talk about a rush! What a high to end the trip on! Of course, we all rode the kiddie coaster, so I don't know what stopped me from trying to ride that whale ride. It's not like I have any shame. This thing looked incredibly fun for a kiddie ride. I so wish they had a grown-up version. Oh, the memories. Pardon me, while I dab my eyes. Given the options, I chose abstinence. In case you haven't yet noticed, this trip was what I like to call "Lady's Choice." Okay, I know it's "all about the sauce" or whatever, but some of us really just wanted to get the credits and get out of there. We're not called whores for nothing, you know. Aww, everyone has someone except Jahan. Oh, and the ride-op. Oooo, wait! I think we have a match! If you drop some acid and THEN look at this picture, you'll have a pretty good idea of what this ride was like in real life. These shots do NOT do this ride justice, because this indoor caterpillar was definitely one of the highlights of the trip. Terrible shot, but I love how the sign frames a trash can. This is where the magic happens. And yes!.................That's A Saturn!

^They're hinting at the name of their next coaster, Son of a Beech.

^Lucky. It's been $3.89 here ever since Ike. At least that's how much it costs at the stations that actually HAVE gas.

If you do get a Flash Pass, they're pretty simple and self-explanatory once you have one in your hand. Plus, they make you watch a video, AND they give you a small pamphlet on how to operate them.

^Aw, thank you! Day 5, part 2: Lakemont Park Okay, this was a decent little park. I don't have anything bad to say about it; but at the same time, the best thing I can come with to describe it is "a very clean county fair." Just without all the cows, tractor pulls, and longest zucchini contests. Still, Lakemont has a Skydiver, a traveling toboggan, AND the world's oldest operating coaster; so it's not like there wasn't fun to be had and lives to be risked. Because there was. Okay, folks. One more park to go! I'M SO CLOSE TO FINALLY FINISHING! Thank you sweet baby Jesus. I mean, when you're the oldest coaster in the world, you deserve some extra TR time. And here's a few extra photos of Leap the Dips. I have NO idea why there aren't more Skydivers around. I LOVED this thing. Anyone spot the hairtime poking through one of the the cars? At least, I THINK that's what it is. I honestly have no clue. But don't you find yourself hoping that that's what it is, too? But THIS is what I was looking forward to most at Lakemont. It looks so innocent, though, doesn't it? A popular misconception for this coaster is that the "Go Curve" on the side refers to the baseball team that plays on the field next to the ride. This is not at all true. It instead refers to the natural curvature of the rider's spine, and how the coaster will make it simply go away. You should have seen the look on my chiropractor's face when saw my X-rays taken once I returned from this trip. Yet another in the long line of woodies on this trip that would make your God-fearing grandmother use words that'd make a sailor with Tourette's blush. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's like a poor-man's tilt-a-whirl. Understandably, Brooke said a prayer of thanks to sweet baby Jesus for returning everyone safely to the station. Oh! And there aren't any seat belts! Or restraints of ANY kind! Or even a height restriction! I LOVE THIS COASTER. Did I mention that only one of the cars is currently operational? That's right. Side-friction, baby. No upstops holdin' you down here. It's a wonder we don't see modern coasters use this anti-rollback system. What in the world could possibly be stronger or more reliable than 2x4s screwed in by a single bolt? ...though at least you'll go out in a really cute, old-fashioned coaster car. (Notice that gravity isn't enough to get you going on this ride) But it's what's behind this giant roof that will REALLY kill you... I know you're not going to believe me, but you can actually fit a human in that little car. TWO, even! However, for the first time in my life, I was happy to be short. *I* didn't have to worry about a concussion that day. Nothing says quality like a ride you can hook up to your truck and tow down the highway. I... This hair... I just... It's... Wow, there just aren't any words, are there? Let's see...no flags on the poles and shrubbery that's only trimmed on one side. This is gonna be good.

^I'll be whatever anyone wants so long as I'm kept in this game.

Aw, Robb, you gave away my secret weapon! I wasn't going to play the vagina card until it looked like I might be in trouble. Oh well - I got something else I could use when the time comes. Make that TWO something elses. Wes may have a vagina, but I know he ain't got these bouncing beauties...

Perhaps the two are related? Hmmm....

The hidden poll results freak me out for some reason. I'm very much a visual person. Not voting for Tyler, though. Someone's got to stand up for the virgins in this contest.

Yes, it would have. Mainly because I would've gotten a job there immediately, and everyone on this board would've come to see me in my train-dispatching glory (the people, they love me). That right there would double the attendance numbers that HRP brought in at Myrtle Beach this year.

WHAT? I had a tripped planned for HRP next month. Jeez, I should have booked it over there the second Max RPM reopened. Jeez, total case of "you snooze, you lose."

^Thank you very much! At least if you had fallen out of your chair, it wouldn't have been one that was balancing on a stick 4 extra feet in the air. Or, I dunno, maybe it would have been - I don't know how you arrange your furniture. It could be really good feng shui or something. True, but I'm pretty sure (I'm not too good with the sciences, so correct me if I'm wrong) that gravity affects everything pretty much the same, so even if my vomit rolled up hill, I'd probably roll along that same, slimy path. Yeah, yeah. I'm just hoping to have this thing done before whichever TPR trip I do next year, crossmyfingers.

Your photos are amazing. Especially those shots of Maverick - they're beautiful! You're definitely inspiring me to invest in a new lens. The stock lens my camera came with just isn't doing it for me anymore. Anyway, great job.

^Yeah, I thought it was entertaining, but if there had been just one more crooked room, I think I would have up-chucked all the fun I was having. There's not a ride yet that I've gotten sick on (knock on wood - don't want to jinx it now), but this walk-through about did me in. Glad you're enjoying the TR!

Well, if that's how they're going to be about it, when I'm pregnant and I start to go into labor, I'm going to head right to the park, get in line for this and have my baby right there in the station. And when I get on the coaster immediately afterward, THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING! Pwahaha...

^Psh, the ONLY thing better about the new version are the animatronic refurbs in the first half of the ride. I don't care for Dame Judi Dench at ALL (I definitely prefer a velvety male voice for this attraction), the background music is completely lack-luster and unnoticeable, and everything after the planetarium in the previous was my favorite part! Now all of it has been stripped away, and it's nothing more than a black, empty hallway that you sit in as you watch your haphazardly-plastered head move around in a cheesy cartoon. I used to find the end of SSE so inspirational, and now I feel like it's nothing more than a childish gimmick. My heart breaks for Spaceship Earth like yours does for Alien Encounter. I guess we can still be friends...but...I'm going to need some time to get used to stance on this.

Day 5, part 1: Idlewild This was probably my favorite park of the whole trip. It was clean, quaint, and just plain adorable - like, I wanted to pinch its chubby little cheeks, it was so cute. I think the best way to describe it is it's kind of like a mini Dollywood, and yes, I know that Dollywood isn't exactly a huge park for there to even be a mini version of, but Idlewild really is that small. Still, what they lack in size, they make up for in quality; and if you are ever within 3 hours of this park, it would be well worth your time to make a side trip up there. And to bring this portion of my TR full circle, I'll end with a shot of theming. Two parks to go, folks - the end is nearing! ...but it was the prettiest. It wasn't the wettest or most intense log flume on the trip... (your mom was wet and intense) The flyer selection on the trip (these and the ones at Seabreeze) was probably the only disappointing thing for me. Both were totally unsnappable. Insnappable. Nonsnappable? Um, they were unabled to be snapped. There. Oh yeah, this is one a them covered ones. I'd never done one of these before, and I thought it was pretty good as it first got going, but then I went over the fan underneath and LOST MY MIND from the awesomeness. I'm going to try to wear a skirt next time I have the chance to ride one of these things again, so I can do an impersonation of Marilyn Monroe. And the fact that it'll be while riding a caterpillar will make your head spin from the surreality of it all. Well, that and the fact that you'll be watching me go in circles. This photo just seems sad to me. Maybe because I'm partial to the number 2, maybe because I have a uterus and that makes me cry at everything. Either way, I need a frikin tissue now. The faces speak for themselves here Aw, crank car for grown-ups! Notice that they have to give you a push-start to get you going. If I look a bit nervous in the picture, it's because I WAS. Notice that that chair only has it's back two legs rested on ANYTHING (that "anything" being a 2-inch wide bit of wood superglued to the wall), and I think it was just a second before this picture was taken that I subconsciously lifted my head about 1/4 inch away from the wall, and I swear the whole chair moved with me. Also, the the crookedness of the rooms was making me quite nauseous, and so if threw up, I'd most definitely fall out of my chair in the process and land on my partially digested breakfast. There was just so much that could go wrong as I sat in that chair. Annnnnnd I'm pretty sure everyone in the group got their crotch credit for the day. For those of you who were there, either I'm sorry or you're welcome. Pick the response that most accurately coincides with your feelings about the situation. Something compelled me to volunteer for this. Probably the same thing that occasionally compels me to stick my hand in a blender. No one can stand straight in Confusion Hill, but I don't think that not being straight is a new experience for some of these people. Yeah. Next was Confusion Hill, and I think this first photo pretty much explains the meaning behind the name of the attraction. It looks like Raggedy Ann with a beak. Prince Tuesday is probably into that kinky stuff anyway. And at each stop, we were to tell whoever was around to "Come along, come along, to the Castle Hug'N'Song!" The only bad thing was that we were not paid to be the King's messengers for the day. Cheap son of a- By the way, the premise of the ride was for us to invite all the people and/or ducks to King Friday's Hug'N'Song Party. The level of gender ambiguity of some of these characters is ASTOUNDING, don't you think? So is the fact that 20% of that sentence was made up of the word "of." Funny, I don't remember Victor Victoria being in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. King Friday ain't too bad to look at either, though. I like a man who can wear robin's egg blue with such confidence. The weird thing was that King Friday looked to be about average human height. Imagine the giant of a man they had down there working that puppet. I mean...the size of his hands...think how HUGE. Where can I get that guy's number? Before this ride, no one ever knew what the inside of that tunnel looked like. After finally going through it, I think the trolley could have derailed, crashed, exploded, and killed us all, and we'd have been fine with it. Our lives were complete at that point. I don't know why I took this shot crooked. As if Mister Rogers isn't enough of an acid trip for a train full of adults. Neil is giddy with nostalgia, but Jake is completely entranced with his first experience with this American icon. I think he even has a tear forming in his eye. He thought he knew what beauty was until that day... And I am not the only one who feels this way. ERT is good and all, but IT DOES NOT COMPARE TO A TPR TAKE OVER THROUGH MISTER ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD. Okay, it honestly wasn't that bad at all. It was the fun kind of rough, not the will-my-insurance-cover-coaster-inflicted-pains kind. Well, I see no tears, so that's a good sign. Unless those thumbs up are for the stunning visual sequences they just witnessed as their lives flashed before their eyes. How about now? Notice anything interesting about this lift? Anything at all? No? Not yet? Vekoma + Wild Mouse = GOD HELP US. I don't know why so many people think we're a group of geeks. Don't cool people duct tape to coasters for awesome POV shots, too? The enthusiasts on this trip, however, are not. The trains are so cute and petite! You know this coaster is old because even the sign seems to have been made before the advent of Spell Check. On the Fujita Scale, I hear this about an F4. I believe that's right between a Tasmanian Devil and an Ororo Munroe. No, that's not shoddy construction on the building ahead. It's a little thing called "theming." Remember that stuff? There wasn't a whole lot of it on this trip at that point, so I felt like it'd be best for me to jog your memory in case you weren't sure of what you were looking at. (I don't count Marineland as having themeing because I was far too exhausted from ALL. THAT. WALKING. to even see straight, let alone notice any of the details of the park. Other than the vast stretches of attractionless forests, of course. I noticed a LOT of those.) EDIT: I forgot this picture from the Hug'N'Song party. I had to tack it on the end, but I couldn't just leave it out. That's the most action anyone got on the whole trip!