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Still comfortably ensconced at our Zleep Aarhus hotel, it was time to venture out to our first Sommerland, Djurs. 11: Hammer & Sword You never want to be late. So we're usually first. Which leads to arty photos of nerds milling around the entrance. Wild Asia is home to no animals. (I don't know, it just sounds like an area that would have animals. I think it's the "wild" part.) But. it is home to an Intamin family invert called DrageKongen, which means "Drag King." I'm sorry. "Drag on King." And it was fine, I guess? I dunno, it's been like 4 months now. I rode a lot of stuff. Some of the elements were kind of crunchy, I think? Does that help? The last two European trips had a lot of log flumes with reversing sections. That really wasn't a thing this time. Instead, there were a lot of log flumes that had two drops that crossed over each other and just went up and right back down. If you don't understand what I'm describing, I insist that it is your fault. My explanations are flawless. Bert and Big Mike enjoying their ride on Long Cun. I'll leave it to you to decided which dirty mispronunciation is funnier. If there was an award for "best themes" for a park's areas--and there is, surprise!--it has to go to Djurs Sommerland, which has areas themed to pirates, vikings, farm animals, and dinosaurs (among other things). Lunch was at the Dino Pizza buffet...which was a bit of a disaster, honestly. They opened at noon and were immediately overwhelmed. Of course, it was a busy Saturday. And I'm a firm believer that you're not stuck in traffic, you are traffic. Still, it's no fun to get to the front of the line to discover that there are no trays, no plates, and no pizza. But hey, at least there was salad, knives, and napkins. Make it work, man. Djurs does not have a proper dark ride. But it does have this long and highly enjoyable outdoor tracked ride with indoor sections and absolutely no reason for the mix of dig site excavation work and real actual dinosaurs and also King Kong for some reason and I love it. Oh, oh, oh! And! This is great. There are small seats up front for kids, and big seats in the back for adults. And at one point, the front seats get squirted with water, but the back seats don't. Which is brilliant, because kids love getting randomly squirted with water and adults usually don't. It's the little things, you know? He's guarding that oil! (Perhaps a relative?) Right next to the jeep ride, we have the powered T-RexFamily Coaster. (Hey, that's how it's written on the sign.) Both rides exit into the same gift shop, where your wife can buy goofy little dino stamps she can put all over your arms and legs for the rest of the day. SpinOsaurus. (Or, um, spine-osuarus?) My dog's name is Disco. Viking-land! Probably actually called something else! I'm too lazy to look it up! Where little vikings learn to be tough. Where adult vikings learn to drink goat piss beer. Thor's Hammer - the Gerstlauer bobsled coaster. Of course, in Norse mythology, Thor's hammer has a name (Mjölnir). But this is not called that. This is called Thor's Hammer. Quite a fun ride. Especially if you like stagnant water. Or Gerstlauer bobsled coasters. Which I do. The second one. Not the stagnant water. The ride's exit gift shop sells proper ice cream. So, yeah, best ride ever. Are we really calling these things "straddle coasters"? Because that's awful. As anyone who has even been to Mexico can tell you, the place is lousy with ATV's. It's fun. That's my review. "Straddle coaster." Jesus. Either this ride was called Quetzalcoatl or I just want it to have been. Um...what? This photo reminds me that the Djurs ride ops have area-specific themed uniforms. Which is odd because this photo does not show that. But I do have another one that does. You can't see it though. I don't have a joke here. Or even an informative opinion. Didn't ride it. The line was too long. I don't like lines. I have a poorly chosen hobby. Luckily, it's cheap. Wait. A game where you shoot real guns. Step aside, Danes, Mr. America is here. I'm just kidding. Why would I pay for something I can do for free at home? I think we can sneak past that guy. The "kill yo self" area of the park. This area is themed after George Orwell's 1945 romp, Animal Farm. I feel stalked. Muddy Pigs! Pirate Land is very cool. However, it is also a fairly long dead end in which bathrooms are only located at the front. I guess pirates just go in the water. Don't you try it though, or you'll find out just how un-pirate-y these posers really are. I haven't quite figured out if piranha are just called pirate fish in Dansk, or... Nope, I've figured it out. It's that. Baby log flume! Daniel, it's for BABIES. There were a couple of these on the trip. I must say that it looks like a rather dull trip back to the station. Some nice theming though. Pirates. It's themed to pirates. This is Daniel's favorite kind of flat ride. I'm not sure why this is all about Daniel all of a sudden. I mean, I guess it's always kind of all about Daniel. Would you like to hear the story of how it took both the world's hunkiest maintenance guy and the literal park owner to get my seatbelt to connect? No? Well, your loss. It's a pretty great story. Okay, who wants to pose with the sword for me before the game begins? Goddammit, Daniel. Best park of the trip to this point? Yes. Final Pirate Score: 9 Djurbloons Stay tuned for our next installment (if I ever get around to it) featuring the best coaster of the trip!

now Erik. .you can't bring up the world's hunkiest maintenence guy and not show a picture. here. . borrow one of mine

It was a blatant ploy to get replies. And also I didn't have one. My "random hot dudes" folder seems to be empty, for some reason.

Honestly, while we definitely need more rides and coasters to just fill the park out more, what I believe is more important right now is also just general maintenance. Paint, gardening, general cleaning and renovations. Coasters and flat rides are cool, but a dirty and run down looking park isn't going to attract people to spend money. I'm also going to throw out a suggestion, they could take a page from Holiday World and expand the water park using that basically abandoned parking lot. Create one big spread out water park line they do. Add a second wave pool which could be smaller and maybe isn't as intense. Could of thriller water rides, maybe even a water coaster.

I was out walking my dog when WHAT DO I SEE? Two trucks with some new track! I snapped a pic as quick as I could. These appear to be brake run sections. Many of the fins were already in place. This was in western Maryland on I-68. So, if you're between here and Allentown, keep an eye out. Only 3.5 hours away!

That ride never appealed to me.