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What's the name of this thread? Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland? Anyway, here we are in Germany for Hansa Park. 09: Frog Frog Frog Inside the park looking back towards the entrance. It's quite nice, but unshaded compared to the rest of the park in a way that makes me feel like the whole area is new. While the park's two Marquee coasters are both Gerstlauers, the one I was most excited about was this Schwarzkopf, "Nessie." Which was fine, but not amazing. Maybe the most interesting thing about it was the finale, which was a drop into the (tunneled) brake run. Pretty great logo, though. Crazy Mine is a fun Maurer wild mouse with an attached observation tower you can climb to take photos. Fun story about how I'm stupid: As someone who doesn't speak German but pretty quickly picks up "entrance" and "exit" whilst visiting Northern European theme parks, I spent a long time looking for the entrance to said tower, but only kept finding the exit. Turns out there's only one way up and down, and "Aufgang" doesn't actually mean "exit," but rather "rising." Oops. Schwur des Kärnan (or "Kärnan's Oath") is pretty clearly the star of the park. Smisty's review: "You spend a lot of time on your back." I didn't ride it. Was on the fence, but leaning towards giving it shot. Then we got to a preshow in which I had to be separated from my glasses (strap or no) for who knows how long, and the ride ops were giving off a really weird energy. So yes, I went all the way to Hansa Park in Germany and then chose not to ride Kärnan. Hey, I don't tell you how to vacation! I liked the wild mouse, though. Animatronic butt. Not pictured: keyboard that made the frogs sing. And by "sing," I mean "say the word frog." Obstacle course and bouncy bridge! Smisty asked me to take a photo of her on the horse. And for not extra charge, I sexy-ied it up a little. Old West Christmas Store I was pretty excited about Hansa Park's proper powered observation tower, but it was down all day for queue painting...? Lame. I really did want to ride this, as Hansa Park is very near the Baltic Sea, but doesn't do much to really show off its location. Lunch at Restaurant Weltumsegler at the front of the park. Pretty good, and super-friendly staff. Also, I was able to keep my glasses on. This park is not ugly. Hansa doesn't have a proper dark ride, but it does have this boat ride with flowers and water features and fairies (or something). Sure, you can see every inch of it from the pathways that surround it, but I still like that it exists. Log flume #1 of 3! Pull yourself across the lake, but don't try to touch the Schlong of Midgard! I don't normally ride kiddie coasters, but this one seemed interesting and it was. There's an indoor section with an animatronic, and since the ride has two laps, he talks to the train twice--the first time is tell you to go kill the snake or whatever, and the second time is to complain about how much you failed the first time. (Or at least that's how I interpreted it.) These last four photos are all from a pretty nice kid's area. I probably should've led with that. Pirate-themed "doesn't get you wet" raft ride, with a cool station. *Ahem* ... With a cool station. These stupid rides are everywhere now. But very few are as nicely themed and plussed-up as this. Arigato. There's a little bridge that takes you over a road to this resort area. See? Sea. Misty didn't come see this. So now we're even, credit-wise. Flucht von Novgorod is the park's other Gerstlauer. It features a dark ride section and some other fun accompaniments to try to obscure the fact that it's a Eurofighter. Can you wear your glasses on this one? No idea. Didn't try. A warning about the over-the-head restraints? Look at this. In America, people would be straight up climbing onto the track and dying. God, we're stupid. On the other hand, we did invent country bears. So, you know, it all evens out. Log flume #2. This one features animatronic rats that scurry out towards the logs as you leave the station! (Well, "animatronic" might be an overstatement. Still awesome, though.) It also takes advantage of the terrain in order to feature something I'd never experienced but always wanted to: a single lift hill with drops both before and after it. Does anyone find that cool besides me? Probably not. But it's how I generally tried to build log flumes in RCT2, so I think it's neat. Log flume #3. Well, a super flume with a very simple layout, but still. Late in the day, someone posted photos of a outdoor tracked jungle adventure jeep ride which we had not seen, which led us to this whole area of the park we had somehow missed. Misty finally gets her photo on a horse without me screwing it up. The little jeep ride has "cameras," attached via cord, that you can pick up and point at things. They do absolutely nothing, but they exist. Woo! Two updates in a row that basically end with a jungle adventure jeep ride! The bridge across the road to the parking lot and our bus. A quick stop off for dinner at an intersection with a couple of different fast food choices. We went for something local, "Sunset Boulevard," where I got this pretty decent burger and a blizzard/concrete ice cream thing with popcorn in it. Back in Denmark (specifically Aarhus) and in our room by sunset. Okay, so, on a scale of 0 to 10 (where a 0 means I have no desire to ever return and a 10 means it's literally a top 10 park--a system that currently works just about perfectly since I've been to around 100 parks) I give Hansa Park a 6. Not sure why I'm giving them a numerical value. I've never done that before. Anyway, still more fun than sitting on my couch writing a trip report!

I don't think those boats were meant for "plus-size" riders.

With 50 years of frights to be celebrated, let's raise a bottle of the Devil's Elixir to Knott's Scary Farm! To every Scare Actor who has inhabited a house or roamed the streets, to all the Technicians, to all the designers, and to everyone who has helped bring Halloween Haunt alive over the past 50 years, congratulations and thank you! Theme Park Review attended opening night of Halloween Haunt, and it was quite honestly one of the most enjoyable opening nights for the event in recent memory. A reminder that if your priority is to go through all 10 mazes, the Fright Lane (Front of the Line pass for mazes) is the only way you will be able to accomplish this. There are a few ticket package options that include Fright Lane, so find the one one that works best for the date of your visit and your interests. Read the comments sprinkled throughout the pictures below for more tips and tricks! This year, we will post our thoughts on each of the 10 mazes, ranked in order from "you can skip it" to "you can't miss it"! Welcome back into the fog, for the 50th time! Room 13 expands on the story from the Gore-ing '20s Scare Zone that has been popular over the past few years. The maze itself had a great Art Deco scenic look. What fell flat for us was the perception that almost all the scare actors were wearing the same latex creature mask throughout the maze. It was hard for the scare actors to help "tell the story". Dark Entities continues to lack "heart". In a maze that is full of animatronics, it feels like you don't see a scare actor until you are 1/4 of the way through the maze. With the maze feeling like it has the fewest number of scare actors at the event, it isn't much more than a walk-through. Although, this nurse was one of our favorite characters of the event! She went crazy over trying to find bandages, and it was hysterical! Wax Works is back. It continues to be a "fine" maze for us. The Grimoire is also "fine". We appreciate a gag of seemingly returning to the same "scene" within the maze, which is inventive and playful! Bloodline 1842 is one of those mazes that makes sense and you would say is perfectly executed...if you had read the creative treatment before going into the maze. Although it is hard for the average person to understand the whole plot, the Scare Actors encourage you along your way through the town during a battle between Vampires and other creatures. Origins The Curse of Calico returns for another year and is a nice staple for the event, focusing on the backstory of the Green Witch. It is a classic maze, and is simply "enjoyable". This is the final year for The Depths. It had a great run over the years. We remember the first time we saw this laser field technique with fog in a maze, and had our minds blown. This of course is now a standard haunt effect throughout the world. Oh there you are Mr. Creature! Mesmer Sideshow of the Mind was fun for us! As theme park/carnival/side show people, it is a fun and nuanced theme that allows for a good amount of variety in the storyline. Okay. So, let's talk about Cinema Slasher. This is one of the new mazes this year, and it was a blast! This maze celebrates the slasher movies from the 80s and perfectly captures the horror and the sometimes campy/over-the-top nature of those films. You will see references to many familiar movies and classic horror film tropes, and we were all for it! Best scenic effect for the event this year (as seen in 3 pictures below): 1. A totally normal lobby snack shop. 2. A somewhat irregular looking lobby snack shop.... 3. A totally demented lobby snack shop! Fun reference to a past maze: Let's go into the film, and see what happens! ...not what we had in mind, but what do you expect from a slasher film?! And for our favorite maze at this year's event, The Chilling Chambers. Although we aren't normally fans of mash-ups mazes, or relying on the nostalgia factor, this maze was a fantastic maze mash-up and we totally fell for the nostalgia factor when walking through some of the most iconic maze scenes from the past. The creative team conceived the perfect way to find a cohesive backstory in how the mazes have been preserved over time, where they went for their eternal slumber, and why we get to see these scenes again. Oh hey Joey! This one's for you. Scenes like this throughout, representing mazes from the past. It's The Amazing Thingy! Yes...nostalgia clearly works. Finally, a quick mention of the shows. First is Dr. Cleaver Returns. From past videos, it looks like it used to be an irreverent comedy show. This version of the show seems to rely on what the Birdcage Theater is know for, Melodrama. This just didn't work for what we expect for a Haunt event, so if you need to skip something, we recommend this. Second is The Hanging: Uncancelled. After a few year hiatus, the park is giving it another try, and is smartly having it in a completely enclosed venue where guests with a low tolerance for...anything... can't just "hear it as they walk by". The show has steered away from as much political satire as possible, and focuses on self-deprecating humor, pop culture references, and theme park woes. Navigational note: There is a bonus for getting to now sit down for this show, since it is being presented at the Wagon Camp Theater! The downside is that there is only a fraction of the viewing area that was previously available at the Calico Stage. Priority entrance to this show goes to patrons with Fright Lane. It was suggested that we line up 45-minutes before the show. At 20 minutes to the show start, the audience was full with what appeared to be entirely folks with Fright Lane. If this show is a priority for you, you may not get into the theater if you don't have Fright Lane. ...hey Jeff Tucker, we love you! And finally, in the Walter Knott Theater is a dance revue and comedy show called Music, Monsters, and Mayhem. It is a high-energy show with good production value. This show is not for the average Halloween Haunt guest. In general if you are a "theater person", you will find something within the show to enjoy! Be sure to plan your visit to this historic year of Knott's Scary Farm! https://www.knotts.com/events/scary-farm/tickets Thank you to the Knott's PR team for once again inviting Theme Park Review to the opening night; here is to a great haunt season!

Part 12 Hey, It's a New Park for TPR: Furuvik Furuvik is another part of the Swedish theme-park empire that also encompasses Grona Lund, Kolmarden, and Skara Sommarland. Like Kolmarden, its much larger cousin, Furuvik is a zoo with a small collection of rides. Unlike Kolmarden, all the rides are gathered in one spot called the "Tivoli," so you don't have to hike to two or three miles to get to them. The main attractions in the Tivoli are two Vekoma family coasters: Lightning (a fun launched ride with cool-looking, kind of retro trains) and Fireball (one of those Family Boomerangs that have been sprouting like dandelions all over the place recently); there's a family "dragon" coaster, as well (it's a Zierer--just for a change of pace, I guess). They even have a Sally "Boo Blasters" type dark ride with a nicely themed queue to round out their collection of flats and carnival games. But the zoo is the main attraction here. Furuvik has an interesting mix of habitats, ranging from a Swedish farm to an island for primates to enclosures for camels and other hooved beasts. Even the zoo contains a few odd attractions. There's a somewhat creepy boat ride that winds through a mysterious cave and abandoned village (not sure if there were supposed to be live animals there). They also have a little obstacle course where people ride hobby horses. The zoo is working on rebuilding its image following an unfortunate incident involving some escaped chimps earlier this year (Google it if you're curious). But they still have a fair-sized collection of orangutans. You can even walk among some of the smaller primates in both indoor and outdoor habitats. The name "Furuvik" means "pine bay" in English, and it certainly lives up to it. The park sits in a forest by the sea, and there's a nice spot where you can hang out by the water. There's even a museum there devoted to coastal defenses. This makes sense, as Russia isn't too far--just on the other side of the bay. They have a cat as a mascot? I like this place already. All zoos should have a Tivoli. Behold the power of neon! Art Deco lives at Furuvik! Sarah looks rather blissful sitting on what looks like a dynamo from a 1930s "Flash Gordon" serial. Hear that dynamo hum! Seriously, it looks like Emperor Ming the Merciless mounted some sort of death ray on the front of this train. Lightning is a good ride--thrilling for kids and fun for adults. For families, yes, but we old farts like it, too. (Photo by either AJ or Andy, I think.) I saw neither fire nor balls on this ride. But Vekoma Family Boomerangs are becoming a "thing," it seems. At least it's not themed to a gravy boat. Well, if you were disappointed by the lack of fire or balls earlier, here are some furries on a dragon-themed coaster. Well, may as well get in line . . . OH MY GOD! We must escape the furries! (Photo by . . . Elissa or Jere, I think?) OK, ghosts. We're gonna get all "Scooby Doo" on your ass! OK, everybody got that? His instructions are in Swedish, but I think it boils down to this: Aim your gun . . . . . . and blast the hell outta them ghosts! (Not sure who took this photo.) OK, all you Mystery Science Theater fans--sing along: "It's Joey the Lemur! The friend to mankind!" "I don't know about you, but this yellow stuff is getting me really high!" "Yes, you can walk under me, but be advised that I eat a rather high-fiber diet. You have been warned!" "Look into my eyez-z-z-z-z . . . you are in my power . . . you will accept me as your sovereign leader . . . understand?" It was a bit of a walk to the creepy boat ride. SNAKE! MONKEY! OH MY GOD! This boat ride would make a pretty good haunt. It's already kind of spooky. And the unstable boats add an extra thrill. There's a walk-through habitat full of critters, such as this white-headed saki. ( That's this animal's name according to the park's website). Looks like it's feeding time. "How about feeding me, pal? Just stick you hand down here." "OK, where's that lady with the food?" "I'm out here. Please don't try to tear my arm off this time." I think one orangutan is about to mug another orangutan. Meanwhile, back at Lightning, this bird seems oblivious to the peril it's in. "OH CRAP!" You'll be happy to know that the bird escaped unharmed. "Oh boy! Sticks and leaves! We camels love sticks and leaves!" "Hey, big boy, once you go camel you don't ever want to go back. Get me?" As I said earlier, "Furuvik" means "pine bay." "Yeehaw! Yahoo! And other such cowboy nonsense!" Thanks for a fun day, Furuvik. We hit this somewhat frightening single-rail alpine coaster on the way back to Stockholm. (Photo by Elissa.)

I guess now that I've started my Halloween park trips after a coaster-less summer (aside from this trip), I should probably get these reports up, huh? Obviously with the delay in reporting, these are going to mostly be ride recaps and photo dumps, but hey, something is better than nothing, right? So, here goes: Busch Gardens Williamsburg Day 1, Sunday May 28th I hadn't been to this park since 2009, the year they removed Big Bad Wolf, so there was a lot new here for my to experience. Unfortunately, my first day was filled with on-and-off rain and thunderstorms, so I didn't get much in, nor did I take a single photograph. Here's what I did do on day one: -Arrived to the park around 3:30 and found it to be a lot colder than anticipated, so bought a super-cute hoodie that just happened to be in the trans pride flags' colors (seen here - photo to be added latter). -Was quite hungry, so I grabbed two pretzels and a bottle of water from the dedicated pretzel place in the Germany section of the park - $30! They were decent, but totally not worth that much. -Rode DarKoaster (38 minute wait for the back row). I didn't really notice any difference in the scenes between the first and second laps, but is definitely a good family coaster, but not really worth an almost 45 minute wait or whatever kind of wait this ride would see on a packed, clear weather day. 6/10 -Rode InvadR (one train wait for the back row, but only running one train) - This had a spectacular layout with plenty of airtime and twists, but has no excuse for being this rough at its age. 3/10 -Rode Verbolten (three train wait for front row) - The very first thing I said in my notes video was "I miss Big Bad Wolf, I really do" and that was my initial reaction pulling back into the station. The drop track was kinda cool (my first time experiencing something like that), and kinda forceful at the end twisty sections and the inside sections were nicely done....but it doesn't live up to the ride that previously was in this location. 6/10 -Rode Tempesto (half-train wait for the front row) - Direct quote - "Whatever, it's a SkyRocket, don't even care." I really don't care for these rides. 1/10 -Rode Pantheon (half-train wait for the back row) - EASILY the best ride in this park, no question. Totally had an RMC feel all of the outward banked turns and odd airtime moments, but I wasn't a huge fan of the little "bump" during the forwards-backwards-forwards launch sequence, which I am still not big on. 9/10 With the storm coming in harder at this point, I kinda gave up on the day after that (around 7:15) and went back to my hotel for a good night's sleep after my 5 hour drive to get down to Williamsburg. I was able to get almost all of the new-to-me coasters here, so even if the next day turned out bad, it was still a win. Did it? Read on to find out.

Part 11 A Most Unusual Day: Skara Sommarland This may be the strangest day of the TPR Scandinavia Trip for two reasons: One of the group, Barry, had to spend some time in a Swedish hospital after getting an enormous splinter in his foot at the park's wake-boarding attraction. Tranan, a notoriously unreliable S&S Free Fly coaster, ran pretty much all day while other, simpler attractions broke down frequently. Did I say "splinter"? From what I understand, Barry impaled his foot on a huge piece of the wake-boarding pier. He rode in an ambulance to a hospital in another town, accompanied by Colin, one of his trip mates, and caught up with the group in Stockholm by train after being released. Barry and Colin were both real troupers during and after this incident; Barry was able to get around the rest on the trip using crutches and wheelchairs and the help of other TPR folks. As for Tranan, it's fun but very weird as you cruise over, under, and beside the track. ERT on this ride, and on the park's bizarrely named new bumper cars, Badrings Bumpers (the park's webiste also refers to them as "Swimming Ring Bumpers"), went well. But other rides were having issues. For example, Robb and some of the group got stuck midcourse on the park's spinning mouse. A technician rode up on a bicycle, reset the ride (which resumed operating), then rode off again. The ops sent the next car full of riders, which got stuck in exactly the same place. Newton, the park's flume ride with cute little whale-shaped boats, also kept breaking down. Even the deck outside the restaurant where the group had lunch had some technical issues. Seating inside was limited, and it was a rather hot day (especially for Sweden). Fortunately, awnings provided shade for many of the tables. The staff extended the awnings, which work with electric motors controlled inside the building. At the table where I and some others were waiting, the awning extended, then slowly retracted, leaving us in the blazing sun. They tried three or four times to get the awning to stay in place; each time, it retracted. Finally, they let us eat inside. Good lunch, as I recall. Well, we did grab some ice cream before we left--yay! On to Stockholm! Skara is a popular campground with a surfing-beach-themed water park. So maybe this should be "Valkommen-a-bunga." Would you trust these birds on Tranan? Looks like they may have smoked some weed this morning. "Er, these birds look a little stoned. Is this a good idea?" "I'm sure it will be . . . fine." Lord, what the hell is happening? The bird is upside-down? How is this even possible? This ride provides a different sensation than any other coaster I've ever ridden. It is, indeed, unique. You feel really exposed on these very open trains, and you're held in by nothing more than a rather funky seatbelt. I think it's fun but just really weird. What has this bird been drinking, and where can we get some? Tranan can have strange effects on people. (I think this is an Andy or AJ photo.) The theming of the new bumper cars is rather . . . interesting. Lots of manspreading here. "I can see everyone's crotch, which fills me with joy." Thank god my shorts held up! (Photo by Elissa, I think.) Time for a manly lunch on a Manly Beach. This weird snake ride used to be at Grona Lund (the same people own Skara). I'm sure Robb got some interesting footage. "We broke the ride! I can't wait to post the POV!" This is as close as Eric and I got to riding Newton. I know there's some ice cream around here somewhere. But where could it be? Goodbye, Tranan! See ya around, Snake! Catch you later, Karp Pond!