Going To Israel

[Nemmy]

I'm going to miss everyone here - huge trip report when I come back on the 20th!

[SharkTums]

Be Safe...but ride the SLC!

 

Elissa "Went to Israel when I was 5" Alvey

[phazan]

what is in isreal to see? or are you going/went to see family?

[Nemmy]

I hate tour guides. Do you know why? Because tour guides talk too much, and they don't take you to theme parks.

 

FUCK

 

By the way, Israel sucked. The only worthwile thing is river rafting on the 0.5 Jordan River. Trip report coming after I get some sleep.

 

Just some random thoughts:

 

Coming back to Ft. Lauderdale, I think I saw the first male flight attendant in the history of Song. Trust me, folks, it's a rarity.

 

Check out Mini Israel's railroad.

 

Fly into JFK on Song, because Airtrain has to take you around the entire loop. Plus, Song has "Song Trivia", in which everybody in my row won a game and made it to the high score list (coming). Going, I fell asleep.

 

Terminal changes suck. We were changed from 25 to 27, and back to 25.

 

You'll find more Fantas in Israel than you will dollars in Bill Gates's bank account. (OK, that's an exaggeration, but Israel has lots of Fantas.)

 

Try Prigat Orange...

 

Finally, if you ever take Elal, watch the safety videos. Let me quote Zach:

 

"Israelis are pretty screwed up!"

 

Nothing else on that, although I have a video coming up of it. Just take my word for the time being, unless you've flown Elal. Then you know what I'm talking about.

[Nemmy]

So, I decided to drive down to the airport around 12 PM on the 11th. Quick check-in lines allowed me to catch a bite at Ft. Lauderdale (Nathan's Express, bitches!) before going to our gate (I forget which one). We took Song, which is the same thing as Delta, but with a theme. I sat in row 11, and alternated seats.

 

 

I love Song Trivia! This is the best thing ever invented. I discovered this around the 5th round that it was played, and ended up winning.

 

Picture taken by Zach

 

Well, we had a smooth landing in JFK, although my ears didn't unclog for about three hours. I, personally, had a nice KFC Express dinner.

 

Now, the overhyped moment of all time: Elal check-in. This was actually pretty easy. They ask you some questions (I couldn't hear some because of my ears) about the trip, your temple, you, etc., and then send you to get your baggage checked-in. Newsflash: I pack too heavy.

 

After some random things including carry-on baggage getting scanned, we went to Gate 30 in Terminal 4 on Airtrain.

 

Airtrain rules! We had to go from Terminals2&3 to Terminal 4, so we took Airtrain, and it runs backwards, so we got to go around the entire loop. This is the sweetest airport invention ever. Not much to say; you've gotta experience it yourself!

 

Anyway, we sat at Gate 30 for about 15 minutes until we heard an announcement that it was being moved to Gate 28. Oh, not a big deal, we walked down there and waited for the early check-in.

 

We took a 747-400, and it was extremely nice, but huge. I think we were around Row 45. I got the window seat for takeoff, and Zach took it for landing. 747's have 3 on the left, 4 in the middle, and 3 on the right, plus an upstairs for business class (the sleeping flyers). I've always had a problem with legroom on planes, so I like getting exit rows whenever possible. I specifically requested to Zach's parents that, when ordering the tickets, to try and get me an exit seat, but they said that they didn't want to do that because we'd be separated, so bye-bye legroom.

 

Anyway, takeoff was simply incredible. The plane is flying (no pun) down that runway before it hits the air. But navigating around JFK, I think we had 15 minutes of taxiing.

 

I caught about two periods of 1 hour sleep on the flight. Breakfast was something I didn't remember, but I think I had an omelette. Lunch was roast beef, which I either passed up or was sleeping when they handed them out.

 

Landing was, seriously, hell. My ears had a pain that I haven't felt since I gave birth...never mind. Anyway, it sucked, and my ears didn't unclog for three days.

 

For a night, we stayed at the Sheraton in Tel Aviv. BEAUTIFUL view.

 

 

Tilt your noggin 45 degrees to the right...

 

The next day, we had a breakfast at the hotel (mine consisted of orange juice and potatoes, plus chocolate muffins for dessert) and hung out at the beach for three hours.

 

On the 14th, we started the worst tour ever made. This idiot, Uri, wouldn't shut the hell up and told us things we didn't need to know. We had to sit out in the stifling heat while he told us some gay-ass story.

 

Anyway, people in Israel have weird license plates:

 

 

I don't remember what we did for most of the first day, but we looked at Mt. of Olives.

 

 

That's the not-so-beautiful view of it.

 

I believe that we went to the Western Wall on the 15th. Look closely at the next picture: here's a soldier with his Uzi:

 

 

Also, we passed the "world's biggest rubber-band ball" on the way to Uri's van:

 

 

Anyway, we went back and slept. I hate jet lag.

 

So, breakfast at the Inbal (the hotel that we then went to in Jerusalem) was sweet because of the chocolate chip muffins.

 

 

This plate was soon lost.

 

I didn't mention how small the glasses are in Israel. Here's a normal fork compared to the drinking glasses:

 

 

I swear, I've taken bigger shots of liquor. Tequila, no...but I wish.

 

We drove to Masada, that famous mountain.

 

 

Can't you tell that this is pure speed?!

 

 

I had DashboardCam running.

 

 

THE LOWEST SPOT ON EARTH

 

 

The view from the cable car up to Masada.

 

 

No comment. Heh heh. Sorry for the bad handwriting, but I was writing with a crappy rock.

 

 

This cable car was zooming down the wires.

 

 

The ugly view from Masada.

 

Next, we went to the Dead Sea, where I couldn't really float that much. It's way too overhyped...there's a tram car that takes you down a five minute road to the sea. You walk on a rocky, burning beach to a little walkway, and that takes you to a small area. You can't splash, jump in, etc. All you can do is sit down or lie down in the water and then get out.

 

 

The tram leaving the station.

 

 

The view.

 

 

Zach being a bloody idiot.

 

 

The Six Flags guy.

 

 

A soldier with an Uzi.

 

 

The picture on the left is Test Track; the picture on the right is Israel...resemblance, anyone?

 

 

The back of the Western Wall, viewed from the Rabinical Tunnels (sp?).

 

 

The Devil strikes again!

 

The next day, we went to Yad VaShem, the brand spaking new (two months old?) Holocaust museum. No pictures allowed, but I got one outside.

 

 

We, next, went to this model of Jerusalem 2,000 years ago. No interesting pictures to share, though.

 

Finally, we went to the Marketplace to have lunch. Nothing interesting except for this:

 

 

Marzipan is a member on Antineopian.

 

Mini Israel was the next day. This wsa the first good thing of the trip. Although almost everything is a drag, there are a couple cool things:

 

Mini Soccer (an actual miniature soccer match)

 

 

Ben Gurion Airport (with moving airplanes)

 

 

 

 

The miniature railroad (I think I took 75 pictures of this)

 

So, we went to this ancient city called Cessaria. Nothing much to see besides the "tsunami":

 

 

We did some random stuff that I don't feel like mentioning (and don't remember), then went rafting down the Jordan River. Really fun, even though it was a 0.5 level rapids.

 

 

Wow...

 

 

This is an active security post.

 

 

This was the SHITTY flushing system that we had at the SHITTY, 1-star kibbutz in Hyphen (Haifa). The kibbutz had two hotels, but they were both shitty 1-stars. The only real thing I did was go and play ping-pong in their gym for two hours, until 11:30 PM.

 

FLYING HOME! We took Elal back, and sat in row 11. Here are pictures coming home:

 

 

747-400

 

 

Segways are in Israel!

 

 

I got yelled at for talking this picture.

 

 

Entering the plane.

 

 

Entering the plane - upper deck staircase to the left.

 

 

Row 14...the seats to the left are the 3 middle seats.

 

 

This was weird - we had 777 remotes on a 747-400. But the remotes are awesome! (Picture taken by Zach.)

 

 

Starting to taxi...

 

 

Airborne and heading for JFK!

 

 

Beautiful view!

 

 

About five frames away from touchdown (taken from a video I tookl).

 

 

Touchdown!

 

This flight was really very easy on the ears, and they literally didn't clog once for me.

 

 

Zach, sitting in the row behind me, is just happy that he made it without his ears clogging! AND that we're back in America.

 

 

I didn't realize how low the engines were until we taxiied at the end.

 

 

Another 747-400.

 

We took AirTrain to Terminal 2 for Song. Lunch was at this Links place that served "half-pound burgers" that weren't anything near, but they were good. I got a chocolate crossaint that I never ended up eating (but I'm eating it now!).

 

 

Random girl doing tricks on the moving sidewalk.

 

 

Song plane taking off.

 

 

The new Delta planes are pretty song.

 

 

Song planes are pretty, too...

 

 

...but this shot is just gorgeous.

 

 

Our plane right before they called our zone (zone 7).

 

 

The last picture I took - the Song fuselage.

 

I was originally going to bein Row 11, but one person didn't want to be in the exit row (9 & 10 were both exit rows), so he switched seats with me. I was the only person in Row 10, enjoyed the leg room, and caught a nice sleep. I would like to say that Song has more side room than Elal, so that felt good, too. My ears clogged a couple times. I only played one round of Song Trivia, won, and made 3rd on the high score list, but lost to someone by 50 points. Anyway, after that, I fell asleep for the rest of the plane ride (until the flight attendant woke me up and told me to put my seat belt on for landing). It was the easiest plane ride ever, and the only one I slept through. Landing was freaky, though, because of a thunderstorm that was pummeling Florida at the time. After slowing down, it sounded like the engines suddenly sped up greatly. The flight attendant told me at that point to be ready to open the exit door and escape slide, if necessary, because we might skid off the runway and need to get off that way. Wow. But luckily, it didn't happen.

 

Baggage claim was the easiest that it had ever been. We had four pieces of luggage, the first one came off about 20th, and the other three were literally right after. I took all four off by grasping two in one hand. Ouch.

 

Well, the trip sucked (although Zach's bar mitzvah at Mount Scopus, which I didn't mention, was OK, and he did very well, making no mistakes!!!!) overall, and I wouldn't suggest coming.

 

Some things I didn't mention:

 

Elal's safety videos are so screwed up, it's not even funny.

 

I DIDN'T GET TO GO ON A ROLLER COASTER. That's because the FUCKING tour guide said we didn't have time. That's why I hate tour guides (one of the reasons, at least).

 

So, my final diagnosis: if going to Israel, don't go.