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Photo TR: Greenwood Forest Park


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OK, now I'll be honest. If there's one thing that I really don't care too much about, it's the environment. I drive everywhere, fly all around the world and I plan to visit all the amusement parks in flood zones well before Global Warming raises the sea level sufficiently.

 

But there was a credit to be had at Greenwood, so I went down and checked the place out. The park is set in a really nice part of North Wales, with some fun little rides perfect for the family. With this being an eco-friendly park, all the rides were designed for a "green future" in mind. The roller coaster is even people-powered, which I'll get onto shortly.

 

Entry was only £6.95 for myself, which is great value for a few hours. The food is also very nice, which makes a change from some of the other UK parks near to me which serve food that I wouldn't eat if I was being paid for it.

 

After Greenwood, I went down to have a gander at Rhyl Promenade & Ocean Beach, to make sure it was all still there after closure rumours. And the (good) news is that it's not been razed to the ground yet.

 

Ok, so onto the pictures. Part 1 includes arriving, how the people powered coaster works, slides of death, and some very nice food.

 

Part 2 includes a tropical disease, Green Dragon in action, more slides of death, and I try to lift a half ton block of stone.

 

Part 3 includes anything I forgot about at Greenwood, an Intamin tower, Ocean Beach at Rhyl, and tunnels of death.

 

Commenceth!

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This place is the lick. Fo' shizzle.

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The ice cream was awesome. And because this report has no vertical loops, here's a '99' flake shot for Derek.

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The food was awesome. Here's my lunch - 1/4lb Burger with Bacon and Cheese, and about 20oz of Coke. Could this place be Robb & Elissa approved?

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Doesn't sound as risque as a French maid, but let's try it!

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Almost enough to give you a woodie, huh huh.

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This is what I look like when I sit next to wooden person holding a wooden fish. Not much difference really!

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This is what a cock looks like when it stuffs his head in his ass.

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You'll notice that I'll be doing this pose a lot in these photos. That is what these shades do to me.

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I also built myself a new crib.

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Mmmm, jolly green slides of death.

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Which I appear to be pimpin'.

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This is my ride.

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...Slides of DEEEEEAAAATTTTHHHH!!!

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And now that you've digested all that information, you can come back later with a clear head for the shots of the coaster in action! But for the meanwhile...

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This is where the people powered lift hill goes back down to wait for the train to arrive. Simple, isn't it?

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In simple American English, you have to walk up a hill twice so you can ride the coaster.

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Well if you hadn't guessed, first you walk to the top of a hill and get into a funicular train. Train goes down hillside, pulls coaster train up to top. You walk up hill again and ride. Simple!

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Can you guess how it works yet?

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You see? It's all so simple!

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As you can see, it's explained very clearly. Even those gas-guzzling Americans can understand this!

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Ahh, screw it. I want my credit on the people powered coaster! What follows is some useful info on this ride's ethos...

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Apparently not.

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Well are you?

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At least they put the signs in English as well as Welsh!

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LOL! Looks like this park is Tommy & James friendly.

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And here we are! It's a wood, it's green, it's called Greenwood! Simple huh?

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The road to get to Greenwood competes well with Alton Towers in the "Die before you reach the park" stakes.

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OK, here's some photos of the rides, which I know is all that people really want to see instead of me larking about.

 

Like siamese twins, Part 2 and 3 have been joined at the hip.

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But it's only an observation tower, and it's never open. Oh well, maybe next time, if there is a next time.

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Elissa!!! Intamin tower alert!!!

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...and looks scary too.

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Ooh, scounds scary...

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The PC brigade better not find the Fatty Arbuckle's sign!

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Further down the promenade, there's a kiddy credit which should open come the school summer break.

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Here's a parting shot from Ocean Beach. There were rumours that this place would close soon, but I think it may be open for the summer season.

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And for the real credit whores, a wooden side friction water coaster of death!

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The Pepsi Loop! And not much else.

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For all you powered credit whores, the last ever Schwarzkopf Aplenblitz, or so I believe.

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Closed Pinfari goodness! As long as it doesn't jump the track like last year, it's not bad.

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But I made it to Rhyl alive! For the joys of a closed ghetto park.

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It's blurry because my brain has no oxygen by this point..

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Hold your breath in 3, 2, 1...

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On this stretch, "drive slow or die young" was the idea.

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OK, now we're into part 3 on the road to Rhyl and lots of crazy Welsh roads along the cliffs.

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Either Elissa has been here as a kid, or she can't spell her own name. ;)

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This is one of those trees of life that kids draw.

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Then I saw the bouncy castle slide thing - but it was kids only, so it was time to go.

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I shall call this, the Robbstone! And no, I can't lift it.

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Before I left, I tried picking up half a ton of stone.

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Then it ends. Thanks to the ride-ops for allowing my camera-cum-brick on the ride!

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...then it thinks it's really Lisebergbanan...

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...then it does a helix of little forces...

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...and this too...

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...and this...

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...then it does this...

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It starts off like this...

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Green Dragon hitting its top speed of about 15mph!

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Enough of this tomfoolery (no pun, it's a real word). Time for a credit!

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Not bad, not bad.

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Time to check out my aim.

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Must reach the uterus slide again!

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Dave Thomas would fall (over) in love with this place.

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It screams "uterus". And so did I.

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This as you can probably tell, is the red slide.

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I love Slides of Death!!!

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As you can probably tell, this is the blue slide.

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I found it in the form of some colourful Slides of Death.

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After my narrow escape from my tropical disease paradise, I went looking in search of more adventure.

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Go go Gadget Arms!!!

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But the oar was useless. My only hope to get out alive was to grab onto the ropes and pull myself to safety.

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This was my only weapon against the bugs, a huge bug swatter!

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Still, let's give it a go. Maybe I can turn my boat backwards so I can't see the bugs coming at me.

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Ahh, that's why. Just for Derek, it's Malaria Lake #101! How many mosquitos can you spot?

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Hmm, crazy Welsh kids decide to go backwards! I wonder why...

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Cychod Jwngl? Sounds pretty tropical, so let's see.

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Dude, that cannot be a real language. Someone just made all that up right? Like that new Enya album...

 

I've been telling people about the 'people powered coaster' and they always give me such weird looks. Cheers for going out there and bringing back the evidence.

 

Also, thanks for representing the themepark thug on the uterus slide. Homies gotta keep it reawl!

 

-Don

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LOL! It'll only be a credit for you if they ever get it open again! I still haven't been on it and I've been trying longer than people have tried to get a ride on a Deja Vu clone!

 

Don, if you ever come to the UK, I'd highly recommend a weekend day doing North Wales! Ocean Beah will be open in summer time for whorage, and there's an ace toboggan run at Llandudno Ski Centre!

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Dude, that cannot be a real language. Someone just made all that up right? Like that new Enya album...

 

No, it's real, Wales has some very interesting language, but all in all it's a very nice place. I visited Llangollen when I was over there and I found it to be very nice.

 

Great Photo TR Tom. That looks to be some killer coaster.

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