FKA 'Playa

I'd rather they built a B&M Wing coaster BUT it's still a CF park. They're not going to build me an X-Flight. They're gonna build a Thorpe Park Swarm instead. Without the kick-ass theming. And that's only gonna make me mad. If you ask me, SLCs have more forceful elements than anything short of Raptor's first half, among CF's 'great ideas'. And while T2 was a square-wheeled beating, the others I've boarded weren't painful (MiA's Thunderhawk--both before and after SFWOA, Elitch Gardens Mind Eraser, Blackpool's Infusion and of course CW's model). Some may have degraded over time for all I know. But well-maintained SLCs seem to hold up. Now if they purchased a B&M from another (translation: Non Cedar Fair) park...? All bets are off. But otherwise? Nah. There's better things to do with the money. They could even steal a page from Premier's old playbook and add Two Looping Coasters at once--as long as the second is NOT CW's horrid Zamperla flying coaster. The GP would eat it up. It could even be a Boomerang or Arrow El Loco.

I can't shake the funny feeling that VF's going to wind up with the hand-me-down SLC from Canada's Wonderland. Sorry. Enthusiasts will howl with rage, the GP won't give two shakes. Frankly, nor will I. What CF-designed invert ever set my world ablaze? Raptor's half a great coaster ('till the midcourse anyway) and the rest are nice. They're not bad rides. They're pleasant, inoffensive, rerideable, fun while I'm there. But they don't change my outlook on life, either. Admittedly, I haven't boarded Banshee. Patriot, Talon, Silver Bullet? Yup. None compare to almost any Florida B&M invert. (Whatever Fire Dragon's called now? The lone exception). It's not even close. I see no point in dropping $15 million plus on a coaster that was hot when Michael Keaton was Batman instead of Birdman. So bring in the SLC, get this 'invert' nonsense over with but at least grant VF a new set of trains. That's what I think.

Long overdue if you ask this passholder. Whenever I pick up a season at the Flags, they toss around passholder ERT on Another Coaster Cedar Point Doesn't Have Yet like candy sprinkles in a Cupcake Thunderstorm. Usually the week after I've planned a visit--but that's not the point.

It's staying for now. No point in clomping it over until the Army Corps of Engineers approves VF's proposed road changes (still pending) and after THAT there's still hurdles with the city and/or county to jump.

YodelHawk.

I thought that's what they named this year's addition.

Indeed. To my knowledge, Valleyfair is the only Cedar Fair park--ahem, lemme go CF mode, ON THE PLANET--that lacks a random attraction with a name ending in 'Hawk.' Thunderhawk, Skyhawk, a poultry-vending stand named ChickenHawk...something.

Except the folks hustling in to 'book' Verruckt rides the minute the park opens. Or the Travel Channel--who dedicated more airtime to a single Schlitterbahn attraction than they've ever spent on WoF or VF combined. Yup! Guess you've got your finger on the pulse of What 'Meerka Thinks. But if we lower our sights to mere amusement rides wellll there's still nothing at either WoF or VF as intense as kicking a Sky Fly into a blistering 20-30 loop tailspin. Nothing even REMOTELY close. Which Minnesotans can do with a foot of snow on the ground. Provided, of course, that you've learned how it's done. *mic drop*

You're probably right BUT I'm not sure when I'll ever get to Thorpe Park again.

Nice TR! I only had a single day to enjoy the park while in the UK. Missed riding X, which I regret. That and not ordering a jacket potato with tuna, baked beans AND slaw--since none of those items belong atop a potato in the first place. At least if you ask a Yank.

Since I can haul whatever soda I'd like into Schlitterbahn--the only park in the Kansas City area worth mentioning--that's a moot point.

You'd want a Stratacoaster or Gigacoaster or Mooseycoaster or whatever CedarFrankensteined device over 200 feet they've got elsewhere in the chain? I wouldn't. Okay, perhaps the last two B&Ms they've built weren't so terrible-looking. Not perfect, mind you. But they day they'd waste $25 million on a Top Thrill Dragster or MF in Minnesota? Oh no no no. That's the day you REALLY see me lose my marbles. And not in a good way. I'm not saying TTD or MF are horrid. Diamondbore? Yes, I would. Maverick? Two or three good elements in an insipid layout overall. Wait, where was I going with this? Right, tall things. I wouldn't place any 300+ tall coaster or ride amongst my top ten. Is soda all that important? Sorta. When I'm in a park with the classics AND loopers with Gs, the Freestyle machine's still a highlight of my day. Whether I'm in Chicago or jumping the lines repeatedly at IOA or wherever else the attractions are the best they can be, it's still a big perk to Freestyle the flavor I want. Again, you might not see it that way and that's fine. We've all got our own opinions. But to me? It's sort of a big deal.

They're not. But don't take my word for it..

They're not Freestyle machines. Said your Big Boss on Twitter.

Quite the contrary! Freestyle machines would grant me sugar-free choices WITHOUT caffeine. Which just might calm me the (bleep) down. K-but-seriously, I'd honestly be more excited about Freestyle machines than a custom B&M invert at Valleyfair. Partly because inverts are twenty-years-ago, but mostly 'cause Rob Decker and company would wuss out the best transitions, too. Might sound crazy to you. But there's limits to how badly they can CF-up a soda dispenser.

*Stops reading, slams own head thru office desk*

Hold-on-waitaminnit STOP right there. Can someone direct me to a specific page on Valleyfair's web site confirming they're Freestyle machines? Or have one of you leadership attendees been told this directly? For someone who will not drink sugared soda--or does not have that option at all--Freestyle machines are inestimably HUGE. I'll buy four of those damned all-season cups myself. And look at my wife like, 'Gurl, whatchoo drinkin?' Seriously, do NOT play with my delicate feelings. Are you absolutely certain? Can you prove this? If you can't, you're gonna have to listen to me whine and moan about this until November. To you. Personally. Trust that NO dispatch time will be swift enough to spare you my grief. I know what some o' you look like, and at least one of you is really short--I'm just saying, swear to me on all that is Grape Mello Yello Zero (alternately, Peach Fanta Zero) that you're absolutely certain of this. Or that you're not sure. PLEASE.

I figured as much. But the minute I type the word 'chairs' the rant's gotta come outta me. Twenty year passholder types have to dream a little. Even if they're teeny tiny, painfully obvious ones. That make all too much sense. Last time we spent a couple days at SFGAM's Hurricane Harbor, the missus and I kept taking 'Empty Beach Chair Pr0n' photos and giggling amongst ourselves. What the--what are those things? Never seen those where we live. Headscratch, headscratch. Okay I'm gonna stop now!

IMHO the best 'minor' announcement they could make is the addition of a couple-three hundred more chairs to the water park. And that they've paved over one of their stupid widdle mud pits--sorry, volleyball courts?--to accommodate them. But that's just me. And the missus. And everybody laying on the teensy patches of grass on their towels. Or sitting on curbs. It's more than a bit maddening to hear CF's 3Q conference call, where they admit they retain guests longer with shade in the water park (NO!) and places to sit (you don't say?) while you know that only applies to Cedar Point, Carowinds, Knotts and maybe Canada's Wonderland if the price of oil climbs up a bit. To briefly summarize tho: CHAIRS.

Huh? I thought you were talking about the tall speed slides with the finish removed and all. The 'chicken chute' slides look exactly the same.

^Water flow problems hurting people? Who? When? I was more likely to ride those slides than VF's coasters, never heard complaints and didn't see much downtime. Except--of course--when part of the finish (or paint, if you will) worked its way off one of those slides. That's not s'posed to happen.

That Kings Island clip gives you NO impression of the sound that thing makes when it's snapped. The reverb thru the structure (and your soul)...You'd Just Have to Be There. Lucky me, I was there for a day in '04 and saw some moderately good folks.

I've got work and lack the patience to tweedle with embedding right now, so I'll link you to snapping videos and . If you're doing it right, it sounds terribly wrong.

Probably wasn't the best idea for Dorney. Especially Dorney. Out in PA where people were born-and-raised on non-corporate parks and learned how to bounce a tub off the pavement before they could ride a bicycle. Since 98% of Minnesotans have no clue how to do it (that includes me ), they can't miss it.

Oops, my fault. The auditions were for the 'Socialites' who walk around the park.