^^ Its not fun to be bullied. It really messes you up in the head. You lose trust in other people and lose confidence in yourself.
I was bullied for two years at high school. Eventually, when I couldnt bear to go in anymore, and my parents noticed something was wrong, I confessed. They told my teachers, who promised to sort it out. Did they hell.
Now I never was (and Im still not) the violent type, but I can only take so much and I snapped. I flew for the guys. I got my ass kicked. Next day they were at it again, and I flew at them again. Again, I got beaten up, but this time it hurt a little less. I was learning to take the punches, the kicks and the chains. I was also learning to defend myself. Eventualy, after a few months, I was starting to win. As soon as that happened a few times, no-one ever bothered me again. I reckon the bullies did it cos they knew they could get away with it. I was an easy victim. When i started fighting back, they relised I wasnt so easy anymore.
Its a sad, sad thing to admit, but sometimes you will only get respect when you stand up for yourself and earn it.
It seems scarey and maybe impossible at first, and its a painful process, but sometimes you just gotta muck in and go for it. All the stuff you typed up there, all that anger, control it and use the adrenalin to protect yourself.
Just promise you wont turn into a bully yourself. Of course, you could always just learn kung-fu or something.