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She won't stay out of it even though it clearly should not be viewed as an issue

Excelerator is back!!!

Plenty of other parks have Presidents just as capable as Jeffrey Siebert, the only difference is SFFT gets every resource they could ever want while some other parks are lucky to even get scraps. It's easy to look good when you get the financial support to do anything you want.

Fårup Sommerland is located...um, I dunno, in Denmark somewhere. I wasn't driving. But it definitely felt remote! Or at least out in the woods. The park is wooded. That's what I should've said. 12: Hooked on Fønix If there's an award for "Worst Park Layout," Fårup Sommerland wins. (Or, um loses?) It's just dead ends on dead ends. It's like Six Flags Over Georgia had a baby with Six Flags Over Texas and it died. Okay, that was dark. To be fair, a bad layout doesn't actually ruin a park, in my opinion. In fact, this park is pretty good. And it is mostly flat, so I guess it's not that bad. Look, I have to talk about something, okay? Dammit, Daniel. I'm trying to take a photo of Smisty! This ride actually has a really interesting layout. And the straight sections were pretty smooth. But the turns were super shuffle-y. Orkanen is one of those fun Vekoma family suspended coasters that dives into an underwater tunnel. There are better places to take photos of it, but I like this one. In the background, on the left, you can just make out the park's onsite hotel. [Transition!] I think the official lunch was another pizza buffet, but I wanted to check out the hotel restaurant, and avoid a possible rush by eating lunch early. Which worked out spectacularly. Food was pretty good, too. And they even had ice! Fårup means "sheep's cry." I did not see any sheep in the park. Their mascot is a hedgehog. My wife refused to wait one more train to ride in the front seat. Or, to put it another way, will use any excuse to not sit with me. Fårup Rafting was mildly fun and not too wet. We hung out with Hawk and Doug a lot at this park. Or, to put it another way, they had a hard time avoiding us. I blame the dead ends. The queue for the rickety spin mouse is not wheelchair accessible. Flagermusen spun a lot for our unbalanced asses. Wild in the best way. Flagermusen means "bat." Getting from there to Dracula is up to you. Lynet means "lightning." And Gerstlauer over-the-shoulder-restraints means "not riding." This looks inviting. An outdoor obstacle course maze and slides kind of thing. Followed by an indoor fun house crooked house kind of thing. Not sure how I got Misty in here, but this was the only time for all three European trips. Wasn't sure what this was, exactly--but it looked cool from out here, so we went in. Turned out to be a roller skater. And kind of rough and bumpy compared to most. But surrounded by trees, so that was cool. Another park without a proper dark ride, but at least it had this outdoor tracked car ride. SMIIIL The last train of the morning that got to ride again if they participated in a "hand, shoulders, knees, and toes" demonstration and sing along. Another look at the Saven family boomerang, this time from the park's train. More Danish Mexican food, because we just can't help ourselves. Fårup Sommerland also has the largest water park in the country. A fact I'm choosing to share with you in conjunction with this photo of sand. I like how this little carousel has photo of other rides in the park. The pirate ship is actually part of the "advanced" obstacle course. I think. I didn't go anywhere near the thing. Was too busy defending my ice cream. Fun story. Back when we were at Tivoli Friheden, I sent some work friends back home that photo of Smisty on the Ferris wheel with the Space Needle fan, and they recreated it with a homemade "Tivoli Friheden" fan. This started a whole weird thing, of which the following might've been the highlight: So there you go. We like log flumes. And we were going to ride this one. But when we got up to the station, the ride op insisted that we ride up front together. Not so that more people could ride with us, mind you, but "to balance the log and keep you from getting so wet." Now, I've never been on this particular log flume, so I could be wrong...but that don't sound right to me. Also, the station looked like this. So we bailed. Rides are like dark alleys. If it doesn't feel right, don't go. Okay, now, I don't normally do this. I try to be very selective with what I post. But I'm going to spend the rest of this report just spamming Fønix photos: Like an octopus in the wilderness. You heard me. Me: "These restraints are really good for me." Someone else on the trip: "These restraints are good for everybody." This ride is so smooth, so well-engineered, so..."confident"...that it makes all other manufacturers look like amateurs. The best coaster of the trip, for my money. Didn't think I'd like the stall very much, but I did. At this point, new Vekoma might be able to make me like broccoli. As great as it is, I do prefer Lech. Fønix has more airtime--but Lech is wilder, more out of control, and more intense. None of which should be taken as a slight on Fønix, which currently sits at #3 on my top 10 coaster list. Smisty says Fønix is her favorite steel coaster. And she's also been on Lech, so there you go. Fårup Sommerland's score: 8 (But it's mostly that high because of Fønix.) Next time: The debut of a new shirt!