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Posted

OK so I have searched this thread and nothing has come up so here goes.

 

Oh and by the way as Robb knows i'm not to good at this making threads business!

 

Anyway my joke is:

 

I had to take my huge German Shepard to the vets the other day, so the vet picked him up looked straight into his eyes and says I have to put him down. Shocked I say why? he replies, hes getting darn heavy

 

Sounds better when told lol

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Posted

An American solider during WW2 was captured and put in a German pow camp. In the camp they have to amputate his leg, they do, and the American asks "Can you send it to my base, they might be able to sew it back on", The Germans agree. Next week they amputate his other leg, He asks again, they agree. Then they need to amputate his arm, He asks, but the German replies, "No, we think your trying to escape".

Posted

^^ I don't get it.

 

Anyway, I have a few dead baby jokes:

 

-How do you fit three babies in a bucket?

 

A Blender!

 

How do you get them back out?

 

Tortilla chips!

 

-How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

 

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

 

-How many babies does it take to paint a house?

 

Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

 

-What do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of an ocean?

 

Screwed.

 

-What's worse to see? Seven dead babies in one trash can, or one dead baby in seven trash cans?

 

-What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lambhorghini?

 

I don't have a Lambhorghini in my garage.

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