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Posted

For the second year, Ray Cammack Shows and certain other partners have set up a temporary park at the Gila River Reservation, on the southern edge of the Phoenix metro area.

 

Dubbed Santa's: A Christmas Theme Park, it features a number of light displays, shows, rides, etc., all lined up in an almost perfectly-straight, one-mile-long midway.

 

To call it a "theme park" may be a bit generous. Imagine a good fair midway with some holiday lights and decorations mixed in, and that's pretty much what you get at Santa's.

 

Parking is $5.00 and admission is $18.95, rides included. Insider tip: Just inside the gate, swipe your "Welcome to Santa's" card at the kiosks, answer the questions and get a free ticket to come back any Monday through Friday!

 

The kiosks ask all sorts of prying questions so they can market to you, but the only one that matters is your name (they check the name on the free ticket against your ID at the gate). In theory, you could just give them bogus information to all the rest of the questions. Not that I'd condone that, of course.

 

Anyway, on to the pics!

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And thus concluded my visit to Santa's! Thanks for reading.

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I also extended holiday greetings to the cops at the donut stand.

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On my way out, I bid the llama a good night and wished him a merry Christmas.

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My last ride of the night.

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As the night draws to a close, I pay Fighter one more visit.

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This man lurks in the shadows, ready to lunge at you with his garden implement--but not before wishing you an ironic "happy holidays!"

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Meanwhile, we can't forget about that most timeless of Christmas traditions: A visit to the fishmonger.

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It just wouldn't be Christmas without a space-reindeer.

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It's also the best time to view the various displays such as this one.

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As the sun sets, the lights take over at Santa's.

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Yes, it's the Stab A Kid In The Heart game! It's stabby fun for all! Win prizes!

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I was glad to see that my favorite game from last year made a return.

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In they go!

 

"Ho, ho, ho, your letters are delicious!" -Santa

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...and letter number two.

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Letter number one...

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I couldn't forget to drop off my letters to Santa.

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Oh no, it's Scary Clown Face again! I thought I had lost him at the Arizona State Fair, but he tracked me down!

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Apparently, Egon Kaiser owned this piece when it was in Germany.

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Whee!

 

(Check out my sexy feet, btw)

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Now it's time to visit the ultra-rare Mondial Fighter!

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Airtime hills, whee!

 

Hi Miler is a good ride, and surprisingly long. It even has two trains to move lines quickly!

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Down the first drop!

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Let's take a ride on the Hi Miler.

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While last year Santa's had two full-size coasters, this year they have one: The Hi Miler.

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From the Ferris wheel, you can see the extent of the midway. You can also see beautiful I-10.

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And of course, the rotating wooden barrel at the end!

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Wacky moving floors, followed by "slip-and-fall" rollers...

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The spinning disc...

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Inside we find all sorts of funhouse gadgetry, such as tilting stairs...

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And oh, there's so much going on here. Stolen sausage, leering drunkards, underage drinking, and yes--those birds are also having a beer!

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Up top we find some lecherous voyeurism going on!

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This smiling gentleman is oblivious to both the man being crushed to death behind him, as well as the excrement that will momentarily be landing on his head. Maybe next time he won't play the accordion so damn loud.

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Here we have Opera Lady and her two friends.

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Time to visit the Cuckoo Haus! First, let's admire the artwork.

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What says "Christmas" more than the traditional holiday snack of deep-fried Coca-Cola?

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I did not try Survival Island, because the sign seemed to cast doubt on the chances of my survival.

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Apparently, "per person" was too vague, and further clarification was needed.

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FreE PeTTing ZoO

 

(That's I-10 behind it, by the way.)

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Thank you, sign!

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As you can see, it was packed.

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Festive candy-cane decor draws us in.

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Hooray! I've made it to Santa's! Where's the entrance?

 

Oh, there it is.

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Posted

Does the emaciated Santa by the Santa's Mailbox kinda freak anyone else out?

 

Seriously...

 

I mean other than the fact that the whole thing looks like a seedy carnival that is definitely the thing that weirds me out most.

 

BTW anyone know what a Fried Coca Cola is?... I'm completely lost.

Posted
BTW anyone know what a Fried Coca Cola is?... I'm completely lost.

I believe they just mix some Coca-Cola syrup or something into a basic batter, then deep fry it. I did not try any of their deep fried concoctions, so I cannot say for sure.

So does I-10 traffic still come to an almost grinding halt at night when Santa's is all lit up?

It was backing up noticeably along that stretch. I wouldn't call it a "grinding halt," but there was certainly some slowing. I know I smelled some burning rubber at least once as I walked along the midway.

 

Eyes on the road, people!!

Posted

I was there right at opening, so that's why it was so empty. Still, two hours later, practically nobody was at the place. I talked with one of their managers, who told me that it only really starts to pick up around 7 p.m. on weekdays.

 

I imagine they'll make some adjustments to their operating hours next year in order to open the gates later in the day.

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