The Great Zo

and this one fits.

Alright, it's going back on my list of must-rides for the next time I visit, and only the back row will do! Probably a wise choice, though now you'll never get the fun of the original Blackbeard's experience! Teddy Bear is a pretty epic #100! Just one or two slots behind El Toro on my favorites list from the trip! I remember being a little sore after that ERT, but it was totally worth it. You could build the cushiest padded restraints in the world and it wouldn't change things on a ride that spends that length of time trying to rip you from your seat! I hope you enjoyed your late-night Newark Airport ERT!

Saw this come across Twitter today. It looks like Cedar Point has a new communications manager: Kristy Bacni, taking the position left by Bryan Edwards.

Day 10 -- The Pictures (Part 2) Several small mammals were visible from Camp Aventura. Here is one such animal. Here is another animal. Hey, I just do the photography, I need someone smarter to help me name them! I will name this one Jim. I will name this one Wesley. I don't even have a name for this one, so let's keep going. Camp Aventura also has a Soaring Eagle zip line, and two TPR members decided to give it a go. George and Chris are soaring! Looks like a fun ride! Chris wins the day for that shirt, though. A quick look at the map before we head out on the second leg of the safari tour. More animals I am unable to identify. Another large bird that appears to be some type of ostrich. Didn't mom tell you to wash your face after you eat? More animals out to lunch. OK, I think I know this one. I will name him Gwazi. Don't mess with the harem. First thought: this is a very large cat. Second thought: I wonder if anyone's tried bringing a laser pointer on the safari... Surrounded by idiots. Checkpost 8! Which is right in front of the giant green thing. Just a reminder that we're still at an amusement park. Another group of animals on their way to do something important. The bears were mostly taking it easy. I have never run across a bear in the wild, though several of my family members have. They survived, obviously, or else I wouldn't be making jokes about it. Out for a swim. This one thinks its a cat. Last picture from the safari! If you don't like animals, I apologize. There are roller coasters and stuff from here on out. The Saw Mill is a pretty good log flume. This section (visible from the exit ramp of the safari) leads up to the big lift and drop. It's apparently possible to fit five people in a single log. Then again, I was once in a log with six people at Silver Dollar City. The large water wheel is the iconic feature of the Saw Mill flume. The walkway near the Saw Mill leads to the safari, and goes past the Skyway and Runaway Mine Train stations. The drop isn't very large, and was only generating big splashes with the more fully-loaded boats. Let's watch a few go down. Saw Mill is a good log flume. Not one of the very best, but I enjoyed it. Boat 34 has a lot of people in it, so... ...it's going to kick up some water. Now you can't even see it. End result is they're completely soaked, and waves of water are pouring over the front of the log. My boat was lucky to avoid such a fate. The mine train and Skyway entrances are very close to the log flume. Here's some history about the mine train, which opened in 1974. The Skyway opened in the same year, but its original use was for the World's Fair a decade earlier. Not a bad place for views of El Toro! The classic El Toro / Kingda Ka view is nice, but would be better on the other side of the cables. There's the bridge where I took some pictures of the log flume. Another view of the water wheel as we fly off to the west. This whole area is one of the nicer looking parts of any Six Flags park I've been to. The flume could probably use some paint, but it still runs fairly well. This is a great example of what I like about it -- a long, twisting path through the treetops. Let's take a look ahead on the Skyway. Here's Green Lantern and Superman -- two decent-to-mediocre B&M coasters. The parachute tower -- with the official name Parachute Training Center: Edwards AFB Jump Tower -- is a rare classic! Looking over the north end of the park, which is significantly less interesting than the areas near El Toro and the safari. If you're looking for advertising and DC Comics characters, this is your spot! The yellow loop on Green Lantern is an interesting and distinguishing feature. The Ferris wheel probably offers some nice views of Nitro, but we didn't have time for a ride. I did get one decent shot of Nitro climbing above the trees. Kingda Ka, as one might expect, is the dominant feature of the park's skyline. Here's a view of the main entrance and central fountain. That super-ugly water tower at the back left of the picture has recently been painted, and now looks pretty nice. Meanwhile, this old aquatic stadium is a thing of the past. I believe that the Total Joker Mayhem coaster is being built in this vicinity. Seriously, who re-names a ride before it's even built? Oh yeah, this park, on multiple occasions. This is a fun angle to view El Toro from, but those hills will look good from anywhere. Your classic 1964 Von Roll Skyway -- sponsored by M&Ms. Coming in for a landing, but... ...what's this creepy thing? Skull Mountain -- sponsored by Takis. This ride has a legion of hardcore fans, doesn't it? Awful Zamperla Kiddie Coaster #4 on the trip was especially awful. It's like they design these things for the express purpose of making kids never want to ride roller coasters again. But enough of that... ...let's head over to Nitro! Here are Will, Chris, George, and Paul -- taking over the back row! Was kind of sad to see only one side of the Skyway operating, and not doing so very quickly. We walked our way past the fountain at the center of the park. "I wanna be like Harry Houdini / And be the one to make the great escape" This is a real address in Harlem, and one with great significance. 278 West 113th Street is the location where Harry Houdini lived! My only minor complaint about this ride? There were signs outside suggesting a strict no-carry-on policy, but there were indeed storage areas available near the ride's exit ramp. On our way to the east end of the park... ...to an area apparently known as the Golden Kingdom, or maybe the Adventure Outpost? I'm a little confused. Bizarro was running fine, but the storage receptacles outside of the ride were not. My group rode in shifts. I don't even grammar. So, while I waited for the rest of the group to finish, I got some pictures of ... well, of people with their shoes off. Zach and Nathan are on this train! Third row, left side. Hey, we haven't been on that big wooden one yet, right? First, a few pictures from the swampy area south of El Toro. Yes, this is still a scene from inside the park. A look up at the top of the Runaway Mine Train lift hill. They've kept this area looking somewhat natural. Well, minus the broken fence. OK, here's what we all came for! Just about to board in the back row for my 200th coaster credit, followed by some scrambling to find the bandages in my backpack! Kingda Ka was next, and we (wisely) waited for the front row. Troy and Nathan are significantly more excited than they were for their morning rides near the back. Here's a picture of me cresting the top of Kingda Ka! (Photo credit: Nathan L) Green Lantern: where courage takes flight, and then jabs you uncomfortably between the legs. The Green Lantern station is the best spot in the park for views of the other side of Kingda Ka. Too dark for decent pictures of the parachute tower, but here's one looking up as we prepared to ride. Night had fallen, with just one ride to go, as TPR gathered to wait for the start of ERT. How about an hour on El Toro in the dark? This ERT was destined to be awesome, and it delivered. Waiting for the final day guests to clear out. That provided me a few minutes for pictures, including this shot with two brightly-lit lift hills. Kingda Ka says goodnight, and that's all from SFGAdv! With the top-end coasters this park is home to -- and the awesome safari -- it's a park I plan to make sure I return to in the next few years.

Day 10 -- The Pictures (Part 1) Six Flags Great Adventure & Safari Welcomes Theme Park Review! My first look at one of the best roller coasters in the world. Wait -- that hill is shaped like /what/? And it doesn't fly off the track? Oh, the sound these trains make when they go over the top. RIP Rolling Thunder. Two credits I'll never pick up, but it sounds like I didn't miss much. My first ride (for credit #200) on El Toro was taken in the back row. During ERT, I found that the second row of the front car was my favorite place to ride. The first drop is definitely best in the back, but the rest of the airtime was better near the front of the train. Also, the middle rows of each car seemed to ride the smoothest. Our first rides of the day were on Kingda Ka. You can put your hands up in the station if you want to, but I won't risk my shoulders doing it on the launch! We had the hair-gel-ad-wrapped trains all to ourselves. That's one big tower -- an imposing figure on the skyline. Our trains were flying over the top on our morning rides! Breaking out the zoom lens for a few shots -- starting with the twist on the way up to the top. Cresting the hill -- and picking up some air. On the highest point of the tallest coaster on the planet. Another twist on the way down. After two rides on Kingda Ka, we made the long walk to the base of the Kingda Ka tower for a ride on Zumanjaro. Is this one of those things you're better off just /not/ telling people? Nuts and bolts. Don't stand too close to the Intamin cable. The queue wraps completely around the tower, loading from underneath the drop side of Kingda Ka. We had to wait for some pre-opening procedures to be completed, but we boarded soon thereafter. Do not -- do not! -- press the big red button. The drop of doom begins! Hey, get that coaster track out of the way. Car #3 is all smiles after the ride, but... ...car #2 is having more fun. Car #2 wins. We walked over to Frontier Adventures to prepare for the safari, but first... ...it was time to look out over the pond... ...at Runaway Mine Train making its final turn into the station, and... ...one of the finest views at any Six Flags park -- aka the picture that appears in every single SFGAdv trip report, ever. I wouldn't want to disappoint. I am certain that I am the first person to ever attempt pictures of the reflection from this location. I didn't see El Toro running at the time, but I did capture Kingda Ka... ...flying over the top of the structure. Onward to the safari! This was formerly a drive-through attraction, which is a concept I find almost completely unfathomable. Now, guests get to ride in these 30-ish passenger vehicles, staffed by one driver and one ride host. We had an escort up the exit ramp to get everyone on board as quickly as possible! So, let's hit the gas and get going. We'll start with some lazy llamas. The deer have been joined by a guest, moving laterally along the fence line. Alright, I'm not going to narrate every single animal, partially because I'm not the taxonomy expert around here. Nonetheless, enjoy some pictures of big bison-looking things... ...and their adorable children. The view on ahead into African territory. TPR members in the wild. The whole vehicle pretty much looked like this. Cameras ready, everyone. It's a tough life for a rhinoceros. A lazy, warm day for the elephants as well. They have a pond for when they get thirsty... ...and a Kingda Ka to watch when they get bored. Another view of the elephants. Next up, some very large birds. They never really look happy, do they? A group of zebras was right next to the road. I count nine zebras, at least on this side of the path. Somebody's thirsty. More large hoofed animals along the way. One of these things is not like the other. To little surprise, the giraffes were among the most fearless... ...with one giraffe coming right to the vehicle... ...and getting up close and personal with us. How close? It practically stuck its head into the seating area. Basically stuck its nose into my lens, also. In a Disney movie, this is where it tries to talk to us. But this is a Six Flags park. Going to try to zoom in a little closer here. The first ever TPR group picture through the eye of a giraffe? I see Robb, Paul H, myself, and Dan -- with everyone else mixed in behind. So, this is about when the giraffe decided it wanted to spend five minutes licking the roof of the ride vehicle. Don't knock it until you try it, I guess. Well, that was some encounter. Ride host Kiki vs. the Giraffe. Who's going to blink first? The giraffe defers. Onward we go. Just ahead is Camp Aventura, the halfway point of the safari tour. Coming up behind us is the other vehicle (mostly) full of TPR members. The small outpost building has a few reptile exhibits inside. We've got snakes! The next one (below) is a rare albino Burmese python. It looks like it hatched from an abnormally large Easter egg. A blue-tongued skink from Australia was nearby. Staring me down like I'm not completely harmless. A view of the outside of Camp Aventura. This is Ariel. Ariel is a blue-and-yellow macaw, a South American parrot. These birds are native to the Amazon basin, and are not considered to be endangered. Ariel was very well-behaved, offering a great chance for some up-close pictures. A fun fact: though this species is not native to North America, a small wild population lives in the Miami area. Also, they're ridiculously photogenic. Another eye shot -- this time, what's that in the reflection? It's the monolith and signposts installed at Camp Aventura. It's a long way from here to Tanzania. I'll have to build the "climb Mt. Kilimanjaro" add-on into another vacation. Camp Aventura is adjacent to the giraffe area... ...so there are plenty of opportunities for pictures like this one. Another giraffe standing tall. Our ride vehicle wasn't the only one that got to see the giraffes at close proximity. There's also a giraffe feeding area, which park guests can participate in for an extra charge. Those are rather large tortoises. They seem to enjoy spending time in the mud. Most of the landscape is pretty nice -- it might not be quite as sculpted as Kilimanjaro Safaris, but it's actually slightly bigger.

Day 10 -- Six Flags Great Adventure Sunday, August 3, 2014 Scorecard: Kingda Ka (x2) Zumanjaro: Drop of Doom Safari Off Road Adventure Runaway Mine Train Saw Mill Log Flume -- Lunch -- Skyway (to Skull Mountain) Skull Mountain Road Runner Railway Nitro Batman: The Ride The Dark Knight Blackbeard's Lost Treasure Train Bizarro Houdini's Great Escape El Toro [back] Kingda Ka [Front] Green Lantern Superman: Ultimate Flight Parachute Training Center -- Dinner -- Nitro [Front] El Toro (x13) (ERT) The Report: Negative press from TPR's day at Six Flags Great America had already spread far and wide as the 2014 US tour continued further east. Those reports were likely read by thousands of people across the internet -- TPR members, coaster fans, and staff members from other parks. One of those parks was the last Six Flags park on the agenda -- Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. Perhaps that helped ensure that the last day of the main part of the 2014 Mini East Coast trip would be an awesome one. Perhaps SFGAdv was already planning on being awesome anyway. Perhaps it was a little of both. The reason doesn't matter as much as the end result -- and it ended up as my favorite day at any Six Flags park ever. We departed our hotel at 9 AM, heading off to a forested corner of Jackson Township, the home of Six Flags Great Adventure. We arrived at the front gate at 945 AM, and were greeted by some enthusiastic Six Flags staff members, who were anxious to get our morning started. We took a shortcut through a backstage passage between the front gate and parachute tower, then headed back toward Kingda Ka and Zumanjaro for our first rides of the day. Though Zumanjaro was on the agenda, it was having a slight delay in opening. Instead, we were ushered to Kingda Ka, for an unexpected double ride on the world's tallest coaster. After that, Zumanjaro was ready to go, so we made the long walk back to the world's tallest top tower. I do mean a long walk -- from Kingda Ka's station to Zumanjaro's station, it's over a quarter of a mile! With rides on Zumanjaro complete at 1130 AM, we did a group photo, and thought our planned activities might be done. That was not the case! We were led by Six Flags staff through the infamous closed-off secret passage near El Toro, arriving in Frontier Adventures for our next stop -- the Safari Off Road Adventure. Many TPR members had considered skipping the wildly-popular safari attraction, owing to its length, and the expectation for very long waits. The latter proved not to be an issue, as we were led up the exit ramp, filling two ride vehicles for our own special tour of the safari! This was an awesome surprise, and really cemented the commitment the staff had made to ensuring we had a great day. By the time the safari had ended, it was already 115 PM. That's the only problem with all this awesome extra stuff -- we still had an entire park to get through! I had a fantastic Q-Bot group for the day -- Zach, Nathan, and Troy -- and after a ride on the log flume and a stop for lunch, we got to work on the rest of the park's attractions. We took the Skyway to the west end of the park, working our way back east from there. Though we hit all the major coasters, we also made time for two very unique attractions -- Houdini's Great Escape and the Parachute Training Center tower. We also queued for a front row ride on Kingda Ka, a very worthwhile decision that greatly improved the quality of the experience. This is the part of the report where I have to clear up a minor misconception with my friends from my Q-Bot group. I came into the day with 190 coasters on my count, knowing that I was entering a park with 12 coasters to ride. A significant milestone was going to occur, and a significant milestone is certainly worthy of a significant coaster. However, it was not I who decided that such a milestone should occur on the highly-rated and truly epic El Toro. In fact, this wonderful suggestion came from another source within the group! While I may have been eminently agreeable to the idea, at no time did I ever hold our Q-Bot hostage or otherwise behave in ill manner, in any attempt to force a particular order of operations during our very busy day at Six Flags Great Adventure. Rather, I was humbled by the support and congeniality I received from my partners, even as nearly every other TPR person we ran across wondered why the heck we didn't ride El Toro until almost 630 PM. OK -- all sarcasm aside, you guys were awesome, and thanks for being witness to a big round number on a stinkin' incredible coaster. #200 on El Toro! (Photo credit: Nathan L) (Thumbs-up credit: Zach Z) (Also Standing-In-Line credit: Troy D) There was one other very good reason for only getting a single ride on El Toro during the park's operating hours -- ERT. We closed our night with a full hour of exclusive ride time on one of the world's best coasters! I teamed up with Troy and took 13 rides during the spirited ERT session, which ended with a good prank from the ride's maintenance staff. The video of our Glowphest ERT at Knoebels had already been released on social media, complete with the "one more time" chant that led to our double rides that night. After we pulled into the El Toro station after what we'd thought would be the last ride of the evening, one of the park employees started up the chant, and we cheered as we were sent through for an extra cycle. The prank came moments later, as our trip up the lift hill in the complete darkness came to an unexpected and hilarious stop. After a short and obviously-intentional delay, we finished the final ride of the night, bruised thighs and all. What a great way to end it! I apologize for not remembering the names of all the park employees who worked with us throughout the day, but everybody did a fantastic job for our group, and I want to give my appreciation for their efforts. Two I do recall, and want to commend, were safari host Kiki and supervisor Robbie Towns. Thank you! We left Six Flags Great Adventure at 1145 PM, and made the trek toward New York City to wrap up the main segment of the Mini East Coast trip. After dropping off a group of people at the Newark airport, we finally arrived to our hotel in Manhattan at 130 AM. This is not where the story ends, as there are still a couple trip report segments left to go from our two days in NYC. Overall Impressions: High-end roller coasters are the big draw at Six Flags Great Adventure. I often look at a park's top 3 coasters as a point of comparison, and SFGAdv matches up very well with some of my favorite parks, including Cedar Point and Hersheypark. El Toro, Kingda Ka, and Nitro are world-class rides. There's a bit of a drop-off from there, with a glut of good-but-not-great B&M coasters, and not much in the mid-size coaster tier. SFGAdv is a thrill park, and its coaster collection is oriented in that direction. Another word that can be used to describe SFGAdv is huge. The park covers a ton of ground, and can be daunting for a first-time visitor, as it was for me. With the safari included, one full day might not be enough to get on all of the park's rides -- I had to skip both the Ferris wheel and SkyScreamer, along with one or two other flats I would have liked to try, and several coasters I could have taken a couple extra cycles on. It's a very long walk from one end of the park to the other -- say, from Nitro to Kingda Ka. The non-coaster ride collection does seem to be pretty well-rounded, with an assortment of classics for all age groups, and a few rides that exist almost nowhere else in the world. I mentioned earlier that this was my favorite visit to any Six Flags park. The coasters are a big part of that, but the way our group was treated by Six Flags staff was even more important. Let's not mince words: they were obviously compensating for the disaster of a day we had in Gurnee, but why wouldn't they? They saw a sister park failing spectacularly at both park operations and customer service, and decided they could do better. They succeeded. Because this is still a Six Flags park, there are still certain things that should be expected -- rampant advertising, occasionally inefficient operations, and a few employees who don't quite have the "friendly" setting turned all the way to the on position. It was nothing that had a major negative impact on the day, but it's a reminder not to expect Herschend/Disney levels of cordial service, or even the aesthetic pleasures of some of the best Cedar Fair properties. Still, amidst the typical Six Flags stylings, there are some truly well-themed and beautiful parts of the park -- and operations were generally good. So, I don't want this paragraph to read as exceptionally negative -- it's not perfect, but SFGAdv is certainly one of the best in the Six Flags chain at these things. The Attractions: Safari Off Road Adventure: This is truly an attraction that can't be missed -- a highlight of the entire Six Flags chain. It seems almost unfathomable that we'd considered skipping it in the interest of time, but I think we're all happy to get on our own safari vehicles without waiting, so thanks again to the Great Adventure staff for accommodating our group! I think the safari is at least on par with its most obvious major park sibling -- Kilimanjaro Safaris at Disney's Animal Kingdom -- and in fact, it's quite a bit longer. For us, the first leg took 25 minutes, we stopped for 30 minutes at Camp Aventura, and the second leg took 25 minutes. That's an investment of 80 minutes -- not a negligible amount, especially if there would have been a wait in line to board. Either way, it would have been well worth it. I enjoyed the variety of animals along the main safari path, with many of them able to get very close to the ride vehicles (especially the giraffes). I wasn't as impressed with the small, rudimentary enclosures at Camp Aventura -- hopefully some of those can be improved, for the sake of both the animals and the guests trying to view them. The staff throughout the safari were some of the best I've encountered at any Six Flags park -- to the point where only the gigantic green roller coaster hovering over the treeline reminded me I was at a Six Flags property. The El Toro ERT was the only part of the day I enjoyed more than the safari. Zumanjaro: Drop of Doom: It might not be the most forceful drop ride in the history of amusements, but it's still the record holder as the tallest, and it's noticeable. It takes a while to get to the bottom of the Kingda Ka tower! It's a ride that combines outstanding views with an lengthy feeling of weightlessness, marking off two boxes that are always high on my checklist. This ride's biggest issue is capacity, as it's unable to run simultaneously with Kingda Ka, though that's not the fault of the park. It's also a very long walk to the ride station. With that said, Zumanjaro was very high on our group's list of rides we wanted to hit again (especially at night), but we simply ran out of time to do it. El Toro: El Toro is a ride that will rip scabs off and make you bleed. Yes, that gory detail is thanks to an injury I sustained on the surfing attraction at Kings Island over a week prior, but I think it's a fair illustration of what El Toro can do. It's as intense and fun a coaster as I've been on -- the way the airtime hills are engineered is an act of twisted genius. Yes, the infamous "Rolling Thunder" hill is the sharpest of them all. I actually thought the airtime was more intense than on Skyrush, but thankfully, I greatly preferred the restraints on El Toro. One complaint? Not a fan of the train-wrapper advertisements that made their way into my milestone picture, but that's Six Flags. El Toro is an easy pick among my top wooden coasters -- probably #2 behind Outlaw Run. Kingda Ka: The mixed opinions that this ride generates -- and rightfully generates -- are epic. I won't spend time worrying about the restraints (which aren't that bad) or the pointless hill before the brakes. Rather, rides on Kingda Ka are famously vastly different based on seating location. Our group waited for the front row during the afternoon, and we all loved the experience. It was one of my single favorite coaster rides of the entire trip -- ridiculously intense and fast, but smooth and comfortable. While Zach and I had two decent mid-row rides on Kingda Ka in the morning, Troy and Nathan were in the back row of a car further behind us, and their rides were excruciating. I won't hesitate to put Kingda Ka in my top 20 steel coasters, because my afternoon ride was that good. However, this is a coaster that simply must be experienced in the front row. Thankfully, it only added about 15-20 minutes to our wait -- far less than the 45-90 minute waits that can be common for the front row on Top Thrill Dragster. Nitro: I'll never understand how similar coasters can differ on whether or not they're better to ride in the front or back of the train. I've been on several B&M hypercoasters that begged for the back row -- Wildfire, Diamondback, Apollo's Chariot -- but Nitro was the opposite. We were all underwhelmed with a back row ride during the day, but our front row ride at night significantly changed our opinion on the coaster. Nitro's very good -- one of the better B&M hypers, with a fun journey of a layout. Bizarro: Bizarro is alright, I guess. It made very little of an impression on me, which simply kills its importance at a park with the three coasters listed above. It's about as cookie-cutter as a large B&M looping coaster can get -- a cut-and-paste assortment of elements. It's a big step up from Hydra at Dorney Park, but I thought Dominator and Superman: Krypton Coaster were quite a bit better. Superman: Ultimate Flight: The pretzel loop is awesome. The rest of the ride is decent, at best. I can't wait to get on a better B&M flyer than this one, but that's looking unlikely to occur in 2016. Green Lantern: This ride is a near-clone of Mantis, and my opinion was similar to that of Cedar Point's former stand-up coaster -- one ride is enough. With Mantis having converted into Rougarou, it's the clear winner now. Green Lantern's layout is pretty good, but the stand-up trains just don't do it for me. Batman: The Ride: On the 2013 TPR tour, we rode five Batman clones. The 2014 tour only had two. I'm actually alright with that -- I do like these rides, and they are quite intense, but I prefer a more expansive layout. Runaway Mine Train: This isn't a bad mine train -- far better than Trailblazer at Hersheypark, which I'd just been on a few days earlier. The layout has some hills and helixes, with the final turn over the water being one of the most photogenic sections. It won't challenge the best (Thunderation and Road Runner Express) but it's not an automatic skip like a few others. Skull Mountain: Skull Mountain is a decent little Windstorm-esque ride in the dark. It's not a favorite, but if you like tight twists and dips without being able to see where you're going, this one's for you. The Dark Knight: I'd been on the version at Six Flags Great America twice, but this was my first time actually being forced to watch the pre-show! I probably jumped at the loud noises. Anyway, that was more memorable than the coaster, so I guess that says it all about this one. Blackbeard's Lost Treasure Train: These giant-trained Tivoli coasters are hilarious to watch, but not particularly exciting to ride. My most vivid memories of this one are the wait -- about 20 minutes -- and the unnecessarily loud horn that goes off when a train dispatches. This ride has since been re-themed into the Harley Quinn Crazy Train. Cue the Ozzy. Road Runner Railway: Awful Zamperla Kiddie Coaster #4 of 5 on the trip was yet another unpleasant experience. We were joined on the train by a mom and her young son, who asked our group after the ride: "that wasn't good, was it?" Her kid was not pleased. See? It's not just us degenerate coaster enthusiasts who don't enjoy these awful contraptions. The target audience doesn't like them either. Saw Mill Log Flume: This was the fourth consecutive day on the trip at a park with a classic log flume! What I liked most about this one is that the majority of the ride is spent on an elevated trough, with two small drops on the raised section. The final hill isn't anything special, but this is certainly a good flume that I'm glad the park has kept around. Skyway: This is a classic Von Roll skyway, originally built for the 1964 World's Fair in New York, and relocated to Six Flags Great Adventure in 1974. The views are great, but the operations were not -- this double-skyway was running slowly at half capacity, leading to one of the longer waits of the day. Houdini's Great Escape: This was my first ride on a Vekoma Madhouse, and I found the effect fairly convincing. It's a fun, disorienting spin cycle in the home of Harry Houdini, with most of the thrills coming from the suggestion of motion rather than the actual motion of the ride vehicle. I was also extremely impressed with the theming and pre-show -- this was close to Disney quality, which is a huge compliment for a Six Flags park. The audio (Houdini's voice) was not as clear as I'd have liked, but I've made similar complaints about several Disney attractions as well. Parachute Training Center: An extremely rare Intamin parachute tower, it's somewhere between an observation ride and a drop ride -- a gentle rise, a gentle fall, and some nice views along the way. This isn't meant to be a thrilling attraction, but it's a classic, and definitely something I enjoyed.

Thanks Matt! That's totally an important point -- something that hurts Dorney through absolutely no fault of their own. Dorney's a good park, but there are three truly outstanding parks within a couple hours of Dorney: Hersheypark, Knoebels, and the next one on the trip.

Tony is live on Periscope watching for a test run. Things he mentioned: * The first successful test run was yesterday, and a second run was completed today. The third test is what we're waiting for on the stream right now. * Because of the cold temperatures (currently around 40 degrees) they won't be using the holding brake, and they will send it through the mid-course a little faster than normal to ensure it gets through the circuit. Edit (4:33 PM): The test run just finished! Despite the cold, to my eyes, it looked like it made it through the circuit very well. There might even be actual airtime on the airtime hill!

Valravn has tested.

Splash Mountain at WDW is not only my favorite log flume, but one of my favorite rides of any type. I have yet to ride two of the flumes I've seen mentioned here a lot -- Knott's and Dudley's. Both look outstanding, and I hope to get on them in the next few years. White Water Landing at Cedar Point will always be one of my historical favorites. I miss the ride, but I'm not at all disappointed by what took its place. Others I really enjoyed: Knoebels, Dorney, Silver Dollar City, Timber Falls, Hersheypark, SFGAdv, BGT... ...but after 2016 Chiapas might just top them all.

It's hilarious how those were the defining memories of the day! It sometimes isn't easy being a hockey fan in Ohio. Thanks for sharing that! It gets at what I had figured based on the reactions of the people on the trip. I certainly didn't have a bad day at Dorney, and really did enjoy myself. However, the people who went to Wildwater Kingdom had a better day.

Tony announced that the Glass Blowing experience is being revamped, courtesy of Glass Academy of Dearborn, Michigan. There will also be opportunities for park guests to get in on the action.

Day 9 -- The Pictures (Part 2) With all the coasters out of the way, it was time to ride some flats. Apollo was up next. Two downdrafts in two days? I'll take it! History Lesson #6 -- A tribute to the traffic cop who had to guard the public road running straight through the park. Duck. If Demon Drop's ker-chunky-ness isn't your thing, perhaps Dominator is more to your liking. It's a three-pronged S&S tower, but only two of the legs are set up for the ride. There will be airtime. Time to squeeze into the Zephyr Railroad. History Lesson #7 -- This is not the Journey to the Center of the Earth you're looking for. History Lesson #8 -- The Zephyr was designed for the small humans of the 1930s, and not whatever we've got going today. The train has pulled into the station... ...let's head on down the tracks. You'll get some up-close views of Possessed. You'll also get some nice shots of Stinger. Or, well, Stinger's rotting carcass. If you squint, it almost looks like Wicked Twister from here. I'm presuming this is for the Halloween Haunt event. Yup, guess that confirms it. This is the scariest thing I saw all day. No. /This/ is the scariest thing I saw all day. Look closely. It's behind the tarp. Now, a peaceful, clown-less ride alongside Cedar Creek. Caught a peek at Steel Force on the lift hill. I think Wildwater Kingdom's a little closer than that. One more glance at Possessed on the way back into the Zephyr station. I quipped about the familiar Cedar Fair style of ride signs at Dorney Park, but there are two exceptions to that observation. The first is Possessed. This is actually kind of creepy, almost occultish, but awesome. Shoes optional. History Lesson #11 -- A racetrack used to exist at Dorney Park! Now, instead, you get the Road Rally car ride. The Pocono Raceway this ain't. Rising into the clouds. The park logo at the center of the wheel! Woah oh oh, woah oh oh. #CBJ History Lesson #9 -- The Whip is Dorney Park's oldest operating ride! History Lesson #10 -- We missed out on the Flying Dutchman by only 26 years. Are you ready to ride ride ri-ri-ri-ride the wild mouse? Awesome theme song, not-so-awesome coaster. Riding an upcharge Screamin' Swing with essentially no wait and no cost? Good deal. Not a bad view of Talon from here, either. Time for some Talon stats! It was built in 2001, one year after Katun at Mirabilandia, and one year before Le Vampire at La Ronde. Talon is 135 feet tall, and features four inversions. This vertical loop is the first of the four. My favorite part about Talon is the paint job -- bright colors that really pop in pictures. Let's head closer to Talon for a few more shots. Climbing the lift... ...and summiting the crest. Spiral into that first drop. Shoes, again, are optional. Raptor: Kick the sky! Talon: Kick the fence! Into the Immelmann to start the return segment. Switching gears and heading to Thunder Canyon, the park's rapids ride. That kid is terrified. It's only water. Were you expecting to stay dry? I don't think this particular rapids ride really provides "dry" as an option. That's one well-placed waterfall. The Cedar Creek Cannonball is the park's full-size train, which makes a short loop around the rapids ride. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have from the Cannonball, as I was strictly informed that photography was not allowed. Dorney, you're getting docked a few points for that one. Let's bring this photo set into the home stretch with some splash boat pictures! Here's White Water Landing -- and RIP, identically-named Cedar Point ride. White Water Landing is a pretty tall splash boat -- not quite as big as Tidal Force at Hersheypark, but certainly larger than Skloosh at Knoebels. It's also a clone of Snake River Falls at Cedar Point. Yes, it makes a pretty big splash. White Water Landing and Snake River Falls are made by Arrow. Here's a view over the ride station and exit ramp bridge. The next few shots will follow a splash from start to finish. First, the drop. Then, the moment of impact. A wall of water erupts... ...and everyone on the bridge gets soaked. The mist falls away and the boat slows down... ...with water still pouring over the front. Everyone laughs and has a good time. Now for some zoom shots of the same. First, climb the lift, then circle the enclosed area at the top. Wave to the next boat as the plunge begins. An interesting mix of fear and excitement. Here it is -- that very moment when the water starts to kick up. A fraction of a second later, it's nothing short of an explosion. Another boat of happy customers. Another view of the splashdown from an oblique angle. Not sure I'd keep my mouth open with all that water-of-questionable-quality flying around, but have at it! Meanwhile, up on the bridge... ...it's another downpour. Back on dry land, here's exception #2 to my "familiar ride sign" rule. I have no idea what this is supposed to be, and the less I think about it, the less likely I'll see it in my nightmares. Hydra will get the honor of the last few shots from my day at Dorney Park. Here's a close-up of the ride sign. I do love the concept and the theme that Dorney was going for. Hercules, a doomed wooden coaster, stood in this spot from 1989 to 2003. Greek Mythology was invoked, as Hydra -- a nemesis of the hero Hercules -- was chosen as the name of the replacement B&M. I don't think you're supposed to climb on that. Sadly, my enjoyment of the theme can't save the ride. Hydra is one of my least favorite B&M coasters. I've been on more exciting first drops on family coasters and log flumes. It's kind of an interesting footnote that Hydra shares a color scheme with its far superior inverted older sibling -- Raptor at Cedar Point. Hydra is sort of a random assortment of standard B&M inversions, but taken too slowly to produce any excitement. Also, it has a cobra roll. I don't like cobra rolls. They don't make for bad pictures, though. Oh, hey Steel Force, I see you sneaking in on my Hydra photo set. That's all from Dorney Park!

Day 9 -- The Pictures (Part 1) Hey, uh, are we in the right place? Ah, yes, I suppose we are. We picked up our admission tickets and Fast Lane wristbands (not pictured) on the way in. Would we need them? Yeah, not so much. This is not a backstage tour. This is not part of early entry. This is just what the park looked like at 1030 AM on a Saturday. Let's check in on Stinger -- how's the scorpion-themed inverted boomerang doing? That well, eh? History Lesson #1 (part of what will be a running theme for this photo set) -- gender-segregated swimming pools! The pools have all been moved over to Wildwater Kingdom, but there's still water flowing through the low area at the center of Dorney Park. This is Cedar Creek -- a fitting name for a stream in a park owned by Dorney's parent company. Cedar Creek flows east through the park, forming a pond near Steel Force, then passing by the historic Haines Brothers Flour Mill. It eventually joins up with Little Lehigh Creek and the Lehigh River near downtown Allentown, flowing into the Delaware River on the New Jersey border further east from there. Speaking of Steel Force, it's next on the list! Trivia question -- does anybody know what ride this logo was originally designed for? Of course you do. Everyone knows that. No bonus points for you. A few Steel Force statistics. It's still among the longer roller coasters on the planet. Scott and Charles opt for the back of the train. As they climb the lift hill, I'll note that I thought Steel Force was better in the front than in the back, but it wasn't particularly inspiring in either location. Steel Force is made by Morgan, not Arrow, but the Magnum comparisons are valid in several ways. Unfortunately for Steel Force, Magnum's a better coaster (with a much better setting). Fortunately for Steel Force, the return leg doesn't attempt to rip your thighs off. Maybe I've been too harsh -- Steel Force is still a good ride, and I actually rank it pretty closely with Talon for my favorite in the park. The half-empty trains are another indication of the crowds on this particular Saturday in early August. The other side of the ride offers some nice views of the first drop. How about a few Steel Force facts? It was built in 1997, one year after Wild Thing at Valleyfair, and one year before Mamba at Worlds of Fun. Steel Force is over a mile long, but the world record holder -- Steel Dragon 2000 -- is also a Morgan coaster. This shallow hill into a straightaway is not among the better parts of the ride. That's enough Steel Force for one trip report. Thunderhawk is next, and Troy's thrilled to ride. History Lesson #2 -- Thunderhawk's former name was simply "Roller Coaster," before its identity was expertly Cedar Fair'd into Thunderhawk. Thunderhawk clearly needed some care on our visit, and I'm glad that the park is doing just that for the 2016 season. What's this odd rock-shaped fountain? History Lesson #3 -- Dorney's Trout Pond! Not quite Indiana Beach's "carp area," but it'll do. No pictures from Thunder Creek Mountain, the park's log flume, so this shot of the station will have to do. Good ride. Demon Drop is up next -- a transplant from my home park of Cedar Point! Demon Drop was always an incredibly imposing figure near Cedar Point's front entrance. By the time I learned to love drop rides, it was too late -- Demon Drop was removed from the shores of Lake Erie at the end of the 2009 season. Though initially expected to go to Knott's Berry Farm, Demon Drop instead moved east, landing at Dorney Park in 2010. Demon Drop did get one new feature after moving to Pennsylvania -- an electro-dub-hop ride spiel theme song. Unfortunately, I think it's since been removed. Nathan, David, and Chuck are about to get kerchunked. Going down? The drop is fun, but the experience from here on out is a bit awkward. Sliding on the track while laying flat? Definitely strange. Do not touch! You've all been there. The ride op shouts "how was your ride" and everyone on board kind of half-smiles, half-groans. This is the Demon Drop version of that. History Lesson #4 -- A historic dance pavilion was destroyed by a fire in 1985. Sad news. Because I torture myself with awful kiddie credits, here it is. Zamperla: the mark of quality. Right? Right? Lunch was next on the agenda. This is, shall we say, a diverse group of attendees. Google provides no search results for "Infamous Instoppables." However, "Infamous Unstoppables" is a drum corps and dance team from nearby Lancaster, PA. That's beside the point, though. We were all here at the Carousel Grove for the Carter Family Reunion. Not quite enough time to check out the indoor All Wheels show, but that would certainly be something to try on a full day at the park. Dorney's carousel has a prominent position near the front entrance. Sadly, the Peanuts Party in the Plaza show was not scheduled for August 2, 2014. History Lesson #5 -- this carousel used to be at Cedar Point! Hey, guess where we're headed next? Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe this is a Chance Ferris Wheel, and at least a similar model to the one at Indiana Beach. Yes, you've reached the requisite aerial photography section of the trip report. Three tall coasters punctuate the west end of the park. Stinger, of course, was not operating. Possessed, on the other hand, was running -- and with the holding brake engaged. This angle really makes Thunderhawk look small. Steel Force begins its descent, on what I have to admit is an oddly-contoured drop hill. I'm also kind of amused by the terraced employee parking lot behind Steel Force. Here's a wide view over the middle of the park. Speaking of making things look small -- Demon Drop is no bigger than the second hill on Steel Force. A view southwest into the parking lot. I know, exciting stuff. The lot was actually pretty full, but the majority of the crowds seemed to be at the water park. Anybody want a bus. Ours might have been in there somewhere. Dorney Park is pretty much right in the city, so you've got your freeway signs and strip malls... ...and there's I-78, if you want to head to New York or Harrisburg. Here's a sneak peek at the Carter Family Reunion, in our picnic shelter directly below the Ferris Wheel. A wider view over the entrance area reveals the best-looking coaster in the park: Talon. The entrance to Wildwater Kingdom is over here as well -- most of the water park is directly east of Talon. It's got a classic swooping B&M Invert drop... ...and it passes very close to the walkway to Wildwater Kingdom. The vertical loop and the zero-G roll are common features, but they're probably the best parts of the ride. Talon loses its grip in the second half. This should be ample evidence of the crowds in the water park -- full lines on both of these slide towers. Those communications towers in the distance are on top of South Mountain, a prominent ridge just southeast of Allentown. Here's a wide view of the northern section of the dry park. Two rides stick out above the horizon. The first is Hydra, one of the most underwhelming coasters I've been on. The second is White Water Landing, a splash boat I did not ride, but might just have to share some pictures of later on. "Well we're living here in Allentown..." Sorry, wasn't getting out of this trip report without that. Forgive me. Alright guys, time to head down. Pictures continued on solid ground below...

Totally in agreement with the both of you. Next up -- well, some park has to be next on the agenda, and that park is Dorney. Day 9 -- Dorney Park Saturday, August 2, 2014 Scorecard: Talon (x3) (ERT) Wild Mouse Screamin' Swing Hydra the Revenge (x2) Possessed (x2) Steel Force (x2) Thunderhawk Dominator [Green] Demon Drop Thunder Creek Mountain Woodstock's Express -- Lunch -- Screamin' Swing Ferris Wheel Apollo Zephyr Revolution Cedar Creek Cannonball The Report: Admittedly, it's not easy for any park to follow up a full-on awesome vintage TPR day at Knoebels. For the 2014 Mini East Coast tour, Dorney Park had that unenviable slot on the schedule. On my first visit to the Cedar Fair park in Allentown, my biggest question was this -- on a Saturday, would a half-day really be enough to get through a full-size amusement park? The answer -- a resounding yes -- probably won't be a surprise to people who have visited before. We left our hotel at 8 AM, and arrived at Dorney just an hour later, in plenty of time for our 930 AM ERT on Talon. We shared the ERT session with passholders, but the TPR group outnumbered the locals by a healthy margin. After finishing a few rides on Talon, the credit run began -- starting, as is always wise to do, with the low-capacity Wild Mouse. Hydra was next, followed by the slew of coasters at the west end of the park. We rode Possessed, Steel Force, and Thunderhawk. Stinger, however, was unavailable -- it remained inoperable for most of the 2014 season. We spent the late morning riding some non-coaster attractions, but none were more important to me than Demon Drop. In all my early years visiting Cedar Point, I was never brave enough for a go on the park's Intamin first generation freefall ride. I sure spent a lot of time watching it, though, thanks to its prominent location near the front of the park! Finally, I was able to experience the famous "kerchunk" -- and all the discomfort that comes along with it. After that, we completed the run of coasters on Woodstock's Express, and headed to lunch at 1215 PM with all available credits attained. Many TPR members headed to Wildwater Kingdom, the attached water park, after lunch. My group decided to stay dry, completing another circuit through the park, and riding several flats along the way. The Ferris Wheel offered some nice views, and the park's two trains were also worth the ride. At 4 PM, TPR departed Dorney Park, heading to a nearby Carrabba's for dinner. We left there at 6 PM, doing our best George Washington impression as we crossed the Delaware into New Jersey. We arrived at our hotel at 715 PM, with a nearby truck stop / convenience store providing some entertainment to close out the night. Overall Impressions: My review of Dorney Park needs to start with one huge caveat -- I did not go to Wildwater Kingdom. I do enjoy water parks, but after visiting two great ones just the week before (Kentucky Kingdom and Holiday World), I wasn't in the mood for another. TPR members who went to Wildwater Kingdom generally had very positive reviews of the place, and seemed to have a great time while they were there. My review will only cover the dry side of the park, which -- even on a Saturday -- was a very sparsely populated place. Our Fast Lane wristbands were largely unnecessary, with only station waits for the coasters. We did use the wristbands to take a couple rides on the normally-upcharge Screamin' Swing. Other trip reports indicated that Fast Lane was very helpful in the water park, skipping past 30-60 minute waits on some of the better slides. Nonetheless, I can't say that I've ever seen a park this empty on a Saturday. Foot traffic picked up a bit during the afternoon, but queue sizes did not. Dorney Park has a lot of history, with roots that trace back to the late 1800s. A detailed page on the park's website helps explain the timeline of Dorney's development over the years, and there are numerous historical signs throughout the park -- a few of which will be shared in the pictures. It wasn't until 1980 that the park became a closed-gate admission-required park, after a road running through the park's center was finally closed off. Thunderhawk -- built in 1923 -- is among the world's oldest operating roller coasters. The Whip -- built in 1920 -- will be the park's first ride to reach a centennial anniversary. So, what happened? Somewhere along the way, perhaps after Cedar Fair took over in 1992, Dorney Park became very generic. It's obviously a far cry from Knoebels, but it's also a marked departure from the atmosphere at Hersheypark, which seems to have done a better job retaining its independent charm. Dorney's historic acumen takes a back seat to modern convenience, construction, and concrete. Of all the parks I've visited, the one Dorney reminds me of the most is Worlds of Fun in Kansas City -- another mid-tier corporate Cedar Fair park with few distinguishing features. Everything at Dorney feels familiar -- you've seen that style of ride sign before, you've seen that in-park restaurant before, and you've seen the paved paths that lead from one place to the next. This would not be an unbeatable flaw in a park with a high-end, can't-miss attraction. Unfortunately, Dorney's coaster collection is decidedly average. Several rides are clones, and the three with longer layouts -- Steel Force, Talon, and Hydra -- are not among the better examples of their type. How much more interesting would this lineup be with Laser still in place? I won't go as far as to say that the park needs a large new coaster to survive -- that would be coaster nerd hogwash. It's obvious that Dorney's main draw is the water park, so I would not be surprised at all if major investments continue to focus on the east side of the front gate. I found it strange that Dorney Park uses magnetic gates on all the main rides -- gates that do not open automatically, but must be pushed open by guests waiting to board. I also want to note that Dorney Park was the only park on the trip in which I witnessed some significant problems with guest dress code violations, and no obvious attempt by park staff to handle the situation. I would like to voice my appreciation for the dubstep/rap/techno song in the Wild Mouse queue. It was a legitimate highlight of the day, and by far the most creative (and bizarre) means by which I've ever heard safety instructions delivered to guests. Demon Drop had a similar song, but I have read that it has since been removed. Supposedly, Stinger also has a dub-rap-chno spiel of some sort. I'm glad we visited Dorney, and it was a well-timed visit for our group on a Saturday. I hope I didn't give the impression that Dorney is a bad park. That's a description I'd only use for somewhere like Mount Olympus or Six Flags Great America. My pictures will hopefully be a positive indication that our stop in Allentown was fun and worthwhile. I just wish Dorney had a little more to make it a unique, must-visit destination. I hope they continue to focus on exploiting their great history, bringing back some non-corporate charm, and -- coaster nerd hogwash or not -- I sure wouldn't complain if they put in something big in the next few years. The Attractions: Talon: Talon had quite a bit of hype leading up to our visit. Is it because it's the best coaster at park without a lot of great rides? Talon will end up in my lowest tier of B&M inverts, and perhaps right at the bottom. Like the park it resides in, it doesn't have any unique or distinguishing features -- sans for the awesome paint job, which looks fantastic even against a washed-out, blue-grey sky. I definitely preferred Great Bear to Talon, and Great Bear isn't at the top of anyone's list either. Hydra: This is the ride that finally put me on the "questioning the quality of modern B&M coasters" bandwagon. It's short in stature and short on forces -- it just wasn't that fun of an experience. Hydra's distinguishing feature is the jojo roll -- a heartline twist right out of the station, taken at excruciatingly slow speed. If you like hangtime, you'll love it. If you hate hangtime, you'll hate it. I hate hangtime. Guess which side that puts me on? Steel Force: It's a near-clone of Mamba at Worlds of Fun, but on a hot summer night in 2011, I had several fantastic rides on Mamba -- complete with loads of airtime, and strong positive forces on the helix. Steel Force did not duplicate that experience, and simply left me wanting a little more. It wasn't as fun as Mamba, and wasn't nearly as fun as Magnum (though perhaps not as uncomfortable either) -- and doesn't have the setting to compete with either of those. Compared to modern B&M hypercoasters (even mid-tier examples) it's easy to look at Steel Force as an early generation of a coaster type that has been improved upon since. Thunderhawk: I'm hoping the 2016 refurbishment gets Thunderhawk in good riding shape. Its history is well known -- coming up on 100 years next decade -- and it has a quirky old-school layout that could be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, my ride in 2014 was pretty rough, which definitely had a negative impact on the experience. None of the ride's positives were strong enough to make me want to take a second spin. Possessed: Far from my first Intamin impulse coaster, it was my first to feature the holding brake on the back spike. I was not a fan. I'll stick with Wicked Twister as my favorite of the type. Wild Mouse: Theme song aside, this was not a favorite either. It's a standard non-spinning Maurer design, with a few too many switchbacks for my liking, and some uncomfortable airtime in the second half of the ride. Woodstock's Express: The "awful Zamperla kiddie coaster" tour continued at Dorney, with another example of a type of ride I'll gladly give up if I ever decide to stop counting! This was our third such credit out of five on the trip, which sadly meant that there were still two more to go. Demon Drop: Kerchunk. Well, I'm glad I finally rode this, after all those years I spent disinterested at Cedar Point. The freefall part is fun. The rest of the process isn't quite as enjoyable. Zephyr: This is one of the park's two train rides, and it's a bit of a tight fit. It provides some nice views of Possessed, Stinger, and some backstage and wooded areas at the west end of the park. Cedar Creek Cannonball: The park's other train is a full-size ride, but it runs a fairly short circuit around the rapids ride. I had a negative experience here, as a ride operator rudely informed me I was not allowed to take pictures. I didn't fight it (as I'd already taken some pictures of the rapids ride from elsewhere), but I thought that was remarkably strange. Chuck did get some pictures from this train, so perhaps I just went at the wrong time of day. Thunder Creek Mountain: Thunder Creek Mountain made for three days in a row at parks with classic log flumes! This was one of my favorite rides at Dorney, in part because of its quirkiness. It uses the natural terrain for its lift and drop hills, the latter of which is very gentle in slope compared to a normal flume. The segment at the top of the hill moves pretty quickly, and passes close to Steel Force's turnaround and Hydra's station. Be prepared if you ride -- this is among the wetter log flumes I've ever been on.

Man arrested for having sex on Ferris wheel killed in carjacking Well then.

Kings Island was designated as StormReady by the National Weather Service. It's a process that ensures the quality of their plans for preparedness, communication, shelter and safety during severe weather. They join a few other Cedar Fair parks with the designation, including Cedar Point. Press release from Kings Island / Press release from the NWS

No kidding! I can't remember if I rode with you or Troy, but it was kind of violent! Thanks Chris and Doug, and glad you both saw this since you both feature heavily in the pictures. When I was putting this report together I thought it was hilarious that I had several pictures with you in it, yet we didn't meet that day, but finally did in March in another country. Thumbs up, Nina Kleppe, +1, etc. Even from the station, trying to look out at the track, all you see is a random array of blinky lights shooting through the wooden structure of the ride. On-board, you're kind of surrounded by it, which actually makes it even harder to see everything else in the darkness around you! Knoebels thanks you for your efforts

Day 8 -- The Pictures (Part 3) Ready for some Flyers? Although there was a healthy line for the ride, the two-riders-per-plane rule was not being enforced. Do not whip the sails? Yeah, about that... The Flyers are located between the Fascination parlor and Flying Turns. There's a decent view of the Flying Turns lift hill from the Flyers line. Most of my group got on the Flyers cycle before me, which provided ample time for photography. David's ready to fly! Troy says he's good to go. Scott gets his flyer snapping. The Knoebels Flyers run on an gas engine, and the ride takes a while to get up to speed. Once it does, it's pretty fast. It moves quick enough that even a basically-first-timer like myself was able to get things snapping a little bit. Still, it takes an expert to really "pick up the slack." Troy nearly goes vertical. Scott hits the bottom of the swing. No forced smile from David -- this ride is as fun as it gets! Oh yes, everyone knows what's next! Fascination costs 50 cents per play, because I wasn't smart enough to buy the tokens ahead of time. The balls are rolling! The action has begun in the huge Knoebels Fascination parlor. With 54 tables, it's significantly bigger than the 32-table parlor at Indiana Beach. Will and Sean demonstrate my favorite part of Fascination photography: focus. No matter how impossible it may be to actually have a strategy, every player is going to give it their best shot. I believe the Knoebels parlor is an important spot for these two. Do not keep Laura and Ryan from their Fascination! Will, Sean, and Evan are rolling ahead at the start of a new game. Another slew of TPR contestants compete on the near wall. Fascination POV shot! Rob and Victor are settled in on tables 31 and 32. Again, the concentration. It is intense. On the other side of the room, the games continue. Dan prepares for his next shot. Doug goes in for the kill. Congrats Doug! We have a champion! What will you select with your winnings? Choose from any of these lovely items. Perhaps a lamp? A dartboard? A pancake griddle? A garden hose? A Disney princess barbie? A transformer? A lunch box? The options are endless! Over on the near wall, the competition continues. Thad and Ian contemplate their existence while rolling a small red ball into one of 24 gridded holes. On the far wall, another round of Fascination has begun. Kristen and Elissa are among the experts in the group. 25 points x 54 tables = 1350 game lights in the parlor. There's your math lesson for the day. Jack and Derek go for the win. I have no idea what is going on here. Big Mike, Andrew, Nicole, and Charles play tables 43-46. Caesar and the Simko family take tables 47-50. Reflections and bouncing balls. An aerial view of our contestants in action. Pure focus from Scott as he wills the ball forward. A line in any direction will earn a win, but the red and yellow rows are worth more. There may be nothing more frustrating than watching the ball bounce around for 15 seconds before settling in. Let's head back to tables 52 and 53 to check in on Nathan and Dan. The group was thinning out, but these two would not be deterred. Getting closer... Nathan wins! Nathan wins! Nathan, Laura, Ryan, and Chris play on well into the evening. The near wall keeps up the pace. Michael is going for the slow cooker. Thad is going for the superman towel. Oh, Fascination. The thrill of victory... ...and the agony of failure. Back outside and hanging out at the lighthouse. Apparently, there are puppet shows here. Lots of parks have water wheels, but at Knoebels, it feels more authentic. It's a replica of a water-powered sawmill from the 1800s at nearly the same location. This sign was painted on wood cut at the original mill! Is this the world's largest baseball bat? Louisville might argue otherwise... A pretty good crowd had gathered at the Knoebels Hawaiian Bandshell. I wouldn't have minded another ride on Flying Turns, but the queue was at least an hour long, and our time was better spent elsewhere. There's a great viewing area on the inside of the ride. A picture of my admission ticket for the Haunted Mansion, before it was wisely spent. A terrifying adventure in darkness! Warning! This ride can be scary! Please prepare your children! But what about your adults? If the Haunted Mansion isn't right for your kids, perhaps teaching them swordfighting at the Once Upon a Time theater is a better option. I loved Cosmotron -- way more than I should have. Strobe lighting? Seizures? Sign me up! The Skyslide is a classic helter skelter. Apologies to the Beatles fans for sticking that song in your heads. Adults get two mats to help reduce the friction on the way down. A good sideways-slide-out is the best way to stop. This is more frightening than most of the things in the Haunted Mansion. My "remember the Alamo" credit was checked off on the 2013 TPR trip. Authentic carousel music on cassette tape! Apparently part of a 9-volume series! This is vintage audio gold! Knoebels at night becomes a glowing mix of neon (throughout most of the park) and LED lighting (on some of the rides). We rode the Pioneer Train a second time, taking a late-dusk journey through the dark of the forest. The Skooter takeover was our second-to-last item for the night. Everyone get loaded in and ready to go! Head-on collisions are strictly disallowed, but sometimes hard to avoid. It's a relentless counter-clockwise race... ...and no driver is spared. I don't think everyone's gotten the hang of the whole counter-clockwise thing yet. Hey, save that level of determination for the Fascination parlor! If you've ever wanted to hit your dad and brother with a car, now's the chance! No pictures from the Glowphest ERT on Phoenix, as I was too busy riding! If you've seen Robb's video and Jack's long-exposure shot, you've seen better than anything I would have come up with. So, I'll end with a picture of the iconic neon sign. What an awesome end to an awesome day. Thanks for the hospitality, Knoebels!

Day 8 -- The Pictures (Part 2) Black Diamond, home to what I can safely assume is the only amusement park tribute to an uncontrolled mine fire. To note -- the next time I'm at Knoebels, I'm taking a side trip to Centralia. Knoebels has an outstanding classic carousel. The history of this carousel dates back to over 100 years ago. Top panel: man hunts animal. Bottom panel: animal hunts man. Enjoying the ride on a Golden Ticket Award-winning piece of history. So disappointed I didn't get to go for the brass ring! Time for a kiddie credit, and it's a good one! Also, find me another coaster -- of any type -- with a top-down map of the circuit on the ride sign. Yet another strained-neck view at a coaster lift hill... ...and yet another reminder of the recent floods. Most of Kozmo's Kurves would have been underwater. How about a ride up the hill on a chair lift? Spoiler alert: half of TPR had the same idea! We'll start at the intersection of Pine Swamp Road and Knoebels Parkway. A look northwest on the parkway, which serves as the main access to the Knoebels parking lot. Heading north on the scenic skyway! This chair lift was purchased from a ski resort in Vermont. On the chair in front: Scott, Nicole, and Nathan. On the chair behind: David and Charles. On the chair to the left: we're going to hope that was dispatched empty. Doing some maintenance on the path up the mountain. Getting closer to the top. Chris and George are on their way back down. Warning: don't be an idiot. Coming up to the big turnaround at the top of the hill. There's a bit of a view to the north, though it's only through breaks in the trees. Like I said -- don't do anything dumb. They're watching you. That means you, Nathan. AJ and Evan finish the trek up the hill. Now, to take in view on the way down! Here's the wide view over Knoebels. With all the trees, only parts of the park are easily visible. Skloosh and the Ferris wheel are straight ahead. Twister and the Crystal Pool are just off to the right. A wider view shows the numerous hills in the distance. Knoebels is in a valley at one of the lowest points in the area. A golf course for real golfers well off in the distance. The east end of the park and the parking lot come into better view about halfway down. Phoenix and StratosFear also become visible to the west. Guaranteed air time on either of these rides. A wave from Nate on his way up the chair lift. Coming closer to ground level, and about to cross Knoebels Parkway again. One more look at the Ferris wheel, which I did not get to ride. Hairtime on a kiddie coaster. Almost unbelievable, but it's Knoebels, so... No shame in riding this kiddie credit. It's one of the best. One last bump on the turn into the station. The Skyride home stretch is just ahead, but another gauntlet of TPR members is about to pass. Dan and Derek lead the pack. Robb and Chuck are next. Robb, post this video! The Crouse family follows behind, bringing our chair lift adventure to an end. The entire circuit took about 20 minutes to complete, though I recall there were a few stops along the way. OK, actually, this is kind of creepy. Perhaps the most colorful swing ride I've ever seen. Satellite is next on our list -- the park's Roll-O-Plane. The cages make it hard to get pictures of the riders, so these two random park guests will have to do. I enjoyed my ride on Satellite. I enjoyed it once. That's probably all I'll need, ever. That's David and Charles in cabin #4, probably laughing uncontrollably as they're thrown around like tennis balls in a half-broken washing machine. Let's follow up the Puke-O-Plane by eating some fried /everything/. Fried chips, fried pickles, and cheese-on-a-stick! I opted for the mango ice and birch beer. I love birch beer, but it's very much a western Pennsylvania to southern New England regional thing, and not readily available in Ohio or elsewhere. Retro Active pulls out the shiniest suit jackets I've ever seen. Knoebels finds its next generation of performing artists. The famous Knoebels sign during the day, in one of the busiest areas of the park. Henry invites us for a ride on the Pioneer Train. Don't cross the train bridge on foot. That would be unwise. This is the tree fort I always wanted. Under the slides and through the support structure of Twister. Another train is on the way. Interesting that the inbound and outbound tunnels are shaped differently. The stone arch has 1865 written on the keystone. Of course the arch has a keystone -- we're in Pennsylvania. This is what it looks like deep in the woods on the Pioneer Train. It's not quite a half mile from the heart of the park, but it feels like much farther. Also, if you want some corn on the cob, have at it. The squirrels have been busy. The 1916-1917 Frick Steam Tractor looks like it's ready to plow some fields. Crossing the bridge on the way back to the park, with several of the picnic areas just off to the right. No flooding on our visit -- water levels were quite low. Knoebels isn't shy about about patriotism, including this memorial (with a flag flown in Afghanistan)... ...and this re-creation of the flag raising at Iwo Jima. Power Surge has been temporarily replaced by hugs from two anthropomorphic small, fuzzy mammals. The rules of the game: don't do anything stupid and you won't get kicked out. Dartron Downdraft nerd shot. Chuck-a-Luck? Chuck-a-Chuck? Skloosh! One of the best ride names ever. I did not ride Skloosh, but I insisted on having some time for pictures. Splash boats are too much fun to photograph. Skloosh has one of the most impressive waves I've ever seen on a splash boat, especially given that it's not all that tall of a hill. Why didn't I ride? I would have still been wet on the bus ride back to the hotel. That mist hangs in the air for a long, long time. Another awesome part about Skloosh? It's the only splash boat I know with a public viewing area that extends immediately next to the drop hill. I promise I stayed completely dry while this picture was snapped, even if that appears to be impossible. Skloosh is a fine example of onomatopoeia. It gets its name from the sound a pair of shoes makes after being completely soaked. Turbulent seas and waves, seen from one of the only splash boat rides that allows this angle of photography. If you don't want to ride, you can always get yourself soaked on the bridge. There are bridges all around Knoebels, and the covered bridges (like the one seen here) are among their most famous. Some of the wood on this bridge dates back to 1865. The white pine timbers were originally cut for the nearby Berninger Grist Mill. The bridge is adorned with another reminder of the height of a few recent floods. It's also adorned with a boatload of graffiti. These people are at the wrong park.

Day 8 -- Knoebels Friday, August 1, 2014 Scorecard: Flying Turns Twister (x4) Phoenix Flume Anthracite Mining Museum Knoebels History Museum Black Diamond -- Lunch -- -- Fascination -- Grand Carousel Kozmo's Kurves Whipper Scenic Skyride Satellite -- Snack -- Pioneer Train Downdraft StratosFear -- Dinner -- The Flyer -- Fascination -- Haunted Mansion Cosmotron Skyslide Pioneer Train Skooter Bumper Cars Phoenix (x12) (Glowphest ERT) The Report: To casual coaster fans and most of the public, Knoebels is a bit of an unknown destination. Within the enthusiast community, Knoebels has been portrayed as one of the best independent, traditional amusement parks on the planet. That's quite the endorsement for a park I'd be making my first visit to on the TPR Mini East Coast trip. I looked at maps, I watched POVs, I viewed some pictures, and I heard the stories. Could I trust what I'd been told? Is this small, almost-disheveled looking place really the can't-miss park that people have described? On the first day of August in 2014, I finally got my chance to see what the hype was about, and to learn how and why this is a park that must be visited to be understood. What follows is a trip report that will focus not so much on artsy pictures of roller coasters, but more on the experience and the fun that a big TPR group can have at this classic park. Leaving at 830 AM, we drove north on an array of winding, hilly Pennsylvania roads. We arrived at Knoebels at 930 AM, the park popping up seemingly out of almost nowhere in the heavily-forested landscape. As this day had been opened up to other Club TPR members who were not on the trip, we joined with the expanded group, and did a big picture at the Knoebels sign near the middle of the park. We expected our first stop to be an hour of ERT on Twister, but with a busy day expected, the park was nice enough to let us line up for Flying Turns before the public arrived. Even with our relatively small group (under 100 people), Flying Turns required about a 20-30 minute wait. That still worked out for the best, with waits of over an hour later in the day. Needless to say, our group was quite happy! We did head to Twister next, picking up about 45 minutes of ERT -- enough time for several rides and some pictures as well. The big group split up after that, and started to explore the rest of the park. I headed to Phoenix, anxious to get my first ride on such a legendary wooden coaster. I was told not to judge it too heavily based on my first impression, and that was good advice -- the morning ride was good, but not spectacular. That opinion would change pretty clearly late in the evening. My group rode the log flume and explored the co-located mining and history museums, before finishing our pre-lunch schedule with a ride on Black Diamond. We had complimentary tickets for pizza at Cesari's, which was probably the second best pizza of the entire trip -- hard to call it the best with a visit to NYC scheduled just a few days later! Next on the agenda was a trip to the Fascination parlor, which (at just before 1 PM) was still relatively quiet. We only had a group of 10 or 15 people playing (including other park patrons), but I earned my big win of the day -- a cover-all victory (with every spot on the board lit up) for a ten ticket prize! Celebrating as if I'd just scored a breakaway goal in hockey, I injured my knee upon slamming it into the bottom of the Fascination table. Yet another bruise to add to my growing list from the preceding week and a half. The next few hours were a tour of several awesome Knoebels attractions, with highlights including the classic Grand Carousel, the better-than-average kiddie credit (Kozmo's Kurves), and the Scenic Skyride chair lift -- a great spot for photography of both TPR friends and the park's scenery. We stopped for an entirely unhealthy snack, tried a few more rides, and eventually headed to our dinner meeting at Pavilion V at around 430 PM. It was just before this time that the weather began to threaten for one of the only times on the entire trip. Thunder became audible in the distance at around 4 PM, a little before we met for dinner, and a glance at radar indicated that storms were on their way from the south -- almost certain to reach Knoebels. There's an oft-used and frequently-invalid saying that thunderstorms can "go around a place" instead of hitting it. Usually, it's not that simple -- or as lucky. On this day, I could think of no other way to describe it. As TPR finished some afternoon rides and made their way to the Pavilion, the first batch of storms hit just about every inch around the park, drenching the nearby hillsides and lighting up the sky with a barrage of bolts. We stayed dry. It wasn't until around 5 PM, with everybody settled in under the picnic shelter, that a downpour finally hit the park -- and for no more than 5 or 10 minutes. Everything had cleared up by the time we headed out. Oh, and how was dinner? A spectacular mix of pierogies, ham, potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and ice cream. For dessert? We had appearances from Rick Knoebel (fourth generation park operator) and his father, Dick Knoebel (park president). Dick spoke with pride about the completion of Flying Turns in late 2013, while Rick gave us a teaser of what was yet to come in 2015: Impulse, the biggest major steel coaster in the park's history. Rick also joined Robb in encouraging us to purchase an array of glowing items for the Phoenix "glowphest" ERT later that night. We still had a few hours left before our evening ERT on Phoenix, and the first stop was at Knoebels' famous flying scooters -- one of the wildest sets of flyers on the planet. After that, it was time for a near-complete TPR takeover of the Fascination parlor. The Fascination takeover lasted nearly an hour. With 54 tables, at 50 cents per game, Fascination easily made several hundred dollars from just the TPR group. That's money well spent. The pictures I'll share from the Fascination takeover are some of my favorites from the entire 2014 trip. Before night fell, my small group had a few more rides to get through -- and some glow to purchase. We eventually met up with the rest of TPR for a 930 PM takeover of the Skooters, which provided some of the most fun I've ever had on a set of bumper cars. Despite all the fun we'd already experienced, the highlight of the day was yet to come. We gathered outside of Phoenix and waited for the park to close, assembling our glow and searching for a last chance to get something to eat -- sadly, I missed out on the pork-chop-on-a-stick by just a few minutes! Glowphest ERT on Phoenix began at around 1025 PM, running for just over an hour. If you haven't seen the video, -- go watch it! Everyone got their glow ready to go -- including masks, swords, hats, bracelets, glasses, wands, and anything else that could be found. Initially taking one lap at a time, the operators playfully threatened to send the train again, with the fakeouts inducing chants of "one more time" from the raucous TPR group. Those chants were answered, with double rides being doled out for most of the ERT session. We had hand slaps on the lift hill, chanting and screaming and wow-ing through the final leg of the trip, and even Rick Knoebel joining in for some rides -- smiling in the front row, or rowing the boat in the back. Our rides were so intense that something -- perhaps a piece of the track -- began to smolder. This was the night that Phoenix almost fulfilled its mythological prophecy! That required a short break, before our glowphest continued ahead. It would be nice if I could learn to get out on the correct side of the station, but I never missed more than a single cycle. By the time the ERT was done, I'd picked up 12 laps on Phoenix, and a new wooden coaster to fit somewhere in my top-5 list. We left Knoebels at 1140 PM, arriving to our hotel at 1245 AM. I'd bet that most people didn't stay completely awake on the bus ride back -- it was a long, exhausting, but very fun day. Overall Impressions: I didn't get involved with TPR until 2013, but I'd been watching the videos and occasionally reading the forums as far back as the mid-00s. The media that Robb and Elissa produced back then was a little different than today -- Coaster Expedition, music videos, and a whole lot of friends simply having a good time at parks. Our day at Knoebels embodied that "old school" TPR spirit -- the enormous amounts of fun a good group of people can have at a simple, well-run park. No 300-foot tall coasters, orca shows, superheroes, or 3D glasses. None of that was necessary, and at least for one day, none of that was missed. Knoebels is a unique park with very unique geography. Part of the Anthracite Coal Region and within the Susquehanna River watershed, Knoebels is located on a valley floor about four miles north of Little Mountain, surrounded by several hills. Knoebels was built at the confluence of Mugser Run and the South Branch of Roaring Creek, at an elevation of about 610 feet above sea level. The nearby hills rise as high as 1200 feet, roughly 600 feet above the level of Knoebels. All of these factors combine to make the park especially prone to flooding, and historical signs around Knoebels are a constant reminder of the damage that floodwater has done. The Knoebel family -- now on its fourth generation of managing the park -- has never been too deterred to rebuild. Amusement park fans around the world are all the better off because of that. Knoebels is a traditional, independent family park. With that in mind, if I had to compare the feel of Knoebels to any other park I've visited, it would have to be Indiana Beach -- and I promise that I don't mean that in a negative way, understanding that Indiana Beach does need a bit of work put into it. It's the very homemade feeling of the place that inspires the comparison, and it's something I find both welcoming and authentic. In some ways, Knoebels feels like a permanent rural Pennsylvania festival in a summer camp setting -- and I've been to local festivals in similar areas of Pennsylvania, so I totally get the aesthetic. During the day, it's easy to get lost between buildings -- the Fascination parlor on one side, a gift shop on the other, Cesari's pizza a few hundred feet away, and the park's amphitheater not far from there. At night, the place lights up in neon -- a warm glow amongst the trees that completes the transformation to something about as far away from a corporate theme park as you'll ever find. By the way, has anyone else seen the video, now up to 35 million views on Youtube? This guy -- Steve Moore -- is a hilarious entertainer. Where was the video shot? You guessed it -- Knoebels. In fact, on our 2014 visit, we missed his band by less than a week! If you've spent more than 5 minutes reading TPR, you've probably already heard about Knoebels' reputation for friendliness. If you've spent more than 2 minutes here, you'll also know they serve up some of the best amusement park eats in the country. Don't come into Knoebels expecting Epcot (delicacies from around the world) or Silver Dollar City (southern cooking at its absolute finest). Knoebels' goal is to provide the best of what you'd expect to find at a traditional park or county fair, and they've made a science out of it. Fried things on a stick? Fried things not on a stick? They've got it, and it's fantastic. How are the park's operations? Phoenix was regularly dispatching at intervals of under a minute, and frequently down to as low as 30 seconds. The other rides not only loaded and unloaded quickly, but ran lengthy cycles to ensure each guest got their money's worth. Knoebels is famous for running their flat rides on long, intense programs. Even if you're mainly a coaster rider, you'll want to give them a chance -- the vast majority won me over. What did I miss? I hit two of the museums, but ran out of time for the carsousel museum, and also wasn't able to locate the bald eagle habitat. In terms of rides, we were a year too early for Impulse, and both Power Surge and 1001 Nacht were down for maintenance. I didn't get a ride on the Ole Smokey train, and can't believe I missed the Giant Wheel for photography purposes. Combined with all the favorites from the 2014 trip, that easily gives me justification to return to Knoebels soon -- if not this year, then definitely in 2017. I went into Knoebels unconvinced, and came out as a huge fan. If there's any downside at all, it's that I'm not sure Knoebels would be as fun on a solo visit. Larger, corporate parks can be OK for that sort of thing -- ride coasters until you're blue in the face, and check out when the day is done. Knoebels is set up more for interaction, for friends, and for families. Out of all the TPR days I've been on, only the Silver Dollar City day in 2013 was as fun from start-to-finish as this one. On both of those days, I went in wondering if I'd have enough to keep me occupied for our lengthy amount of time at the park. I left with a list of things I ran out of time for. Despite being in the backwoods of Pennsylvania, far from the trappings of most amusement parks, I was never bored -- quite the opposite, in fact. I didn't expect that at first, but grew to figure it out very quickly, learning quite effectively why Knoebels has to be experienced to be understood. The Attractions: Phoenix: The famous Phoenix finished at #5 on the 2013 Mitch Hawker wood coaster poll, and is frequently cited as a favorite by TPR veterans. My first ride during the day didn't do the trick, but the repeated cycles during ERT made it one of my favorites. I have to be completely honest here -- a large part of Phoenix's adoration comes from the seatbelt-free buzz bar restraints. That kind of restraint system is rare in general, but almost unheard of on a coaster with a significant amount of airtime like Phoenix. That "airtime buffet" near the end of the ride would be good with standard, modern PTC restraints. With buzz bars, riders spend most of the coaster's final leg floating above the seat, nearly reaching standing posture, and probably smashing into things at the bottom of the hills. I admit that it's hard to compare Phoenix to wooden coasters with much more ambitious layouts -- El Toro or Outlaw Run, for example. Phoenix, in all of its enjoyable simplicity, fits perfectly at a park like Knoebels. It's earned a spot in my wooden top 5. Twister: Phoenix's larger sibling is known more for its lateral forces than its airtime. Nowhere is that more obvious than in the large double helix that surrounds the ride station -- an interesting design element that provides for several great views for photography. Twister's other distinguishing feature is the double chain lift, fitting a 100+ foot gain in height into a smaller footprint. I prefer airtime to tight turns, so Twister didn't leave as much of an impression on me a Phoenix. Twister was also the rougher of the two coasters, though Knoebels had been doing some rehabilitation work, helping to restore a few sections of the ride to an acceptable level of smoothness. For a wooden coaster of its size, I'll put Twister somewhere near (or just above) the middle of my rankings. Flying Turns: The distinguishing characteristic for Flying Turns is the length of time it took to build and become an operational coaster. Taken at face value, it's not an all-star attraction -- pretty much everyone seems to agree that it's not worth a long wait more than once, but that's more of a commentary on the ride's capacity than on the ride's quality. It's fairly short, but the coaster's key middle section is a lot of fun, with a bit of an out-of-control feeling as the three-car trains snake their way up the walls of the wooden trough. It's a unique experience, though it's not -- and was never meant to be -- a major thrill ride. Kozmo's Kurves: Is there a better E&F Miler coaster than this one? In height, length, and layout, this is clearly a kiddie coaster. In ride experience, even adults had better be ready for the quick jolts of air on the bunny hills near the end of the circuit. I've never had a problem with Miler coasters -- compared to Zamperla, which will earn my disdain in every other report segment of the Mini East Coast trip -- and this is probably my favorite of them all. Black Diamond: Black Diamond is a tri-level dark ride / coaster hybrid, taking guests on a ride through the mines of the anthracite coal region of east-central Pennsylvania. The concept is similar in execution to the sibling Herschend rides Fire in the Hole and Blazing Fury, though Black Diamond lacks the climactic drop at the end of those two. The final scene of Black Diamond journeys through the nigh-abandoned borough of Centralia, which is legitimately one of the creepiest places in the country. Only 15 miles from Knoebels, Centralia is home to a massive underground mine fire, one which may continue to burn for centuries to come. Searching for an awesome theme for a creepy dark ride? Knoebels didn't have to look far at all. Haunted Mansion: On a trip with several very good classic haunted house rides, Knoebels' Haunted Mansion was my favorite. Riding through tight turns in the darkness on a single-track path, the Haunted Mansion has all of the classic scenes -- jump scares, grotesque humanoid figures, loud noises, and bright lights. Where Knoebels excells is in the production value, which is a clear step up from other haunted rides of its type, without losing the kitschy charm that any good haunted house ride provides. It's not fair to compare this to Disney's Haunted Mansion (which has a completely different style), but it measures up very well with others that I liked, beating out both Spook-a-Rama at Deno's (Coney Island) and the Haunted House at Beech Bend. Though it's an upcharge attraction, all members of the TPR group were given a ticket for one ride. Watch out for the truck! Scenic Skyride: Knoebels' chair lift gains 350 feet on its journey up the hill directly north of the park. Though the hill is heavily wooded, there are a few good views of the park on the way back down. Pioneer Train: The Pioneer Train is a 10-minute circuit along roughly a mile of track, starting near the center of Knoebels and ending up in the forest well southwest of the park. It's a fun ride that passes under some stone bridges, past a few cabins in the woods, and loops around an array of corn cobs (where you may find some squirrels eating lunch). Because this train travels exclusively through the forest, aside from a short section underneath Twister, there aren't any good views of the park's rides. Flume: Once again, I get to sing my praises for a classic log flume, and Knoebels has a pretty good one. This flume has two hills, a tunnel, a wooded section, and great visibility from a viewing platform near the ride station. Knowing how Knoebels takes care of their classics, this is one flume I doubt I'll have to worry about being removed any time soon. Grand Carousel: Is it possible that this is the first classic, brass-ring carousel that I've ever been on? I only wish I could have had a second ride on one of the outside seats, because I never got a chance to reach for the prize. Satellite: Knoebels' Satellite is a Roll-O-Plane -- a strange, old rotating-arm carnival ride that never quite inverts due to the twisting of the cabin. That's in contrast to a Rock-O-Plane (eggs on a wheel) and a Loop-O-Plane (non-twisting salt-and-pepper shakers), other classic rides with similar names. Satellite was something to experience, and experience once! It would be a fun ride if you're willing to get cozy with your partner, and if they've got a strong stomach. I'm glad I rode when I did -- I was told that Satellite was inoperable later in the day. Downdraft: Another spinning carnival ride, Downdraft is like if Dumbo the Flying Elephant's arms moved rapidly up and down, at about twice the standard rotational speed. It's remarkably simple, but a whole lot of fun, with airtime and outward forces that somehow never get too nauseous. The Flyer: Knoebels' flying scooters are famous for their wild speed, making them easy to swing around, even for a novice. This was only the second set of flyers I'd been on, and the first was a small set at Stricker's Grove. I was able to get my cabin snapping, at least to an extent. I never quite mastered the extreme snapping I saw from some of TPR's better pilots. Cosmotron: Cosmotron was one of my favorite rides at Knoebels, and I'm not saying that lightly. I don't even like Himalaya / Music Express types of rides all that much, but Cosmotron has a few tricks up its sleeve. Enclosed in the dark, Cosmotron features a circular array of colored blinking lights, and very loud music -- we had the thundering bass of Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, for example. Cosmotron has no business being as fun and awe-inspiring as it is, but it does it anyway. It's a must-ride. StratosFear: This was the third ARM/Larson tower on the 2014 trip, and this one delivered the thrills just as I'd come to expect. A view of the approaching thunderstorm made it just a little bit more frightening than the others. Skooter Bumper Cars: If your only experience with bumper cars is a standard Dodgem model, you've got no idea what you're in for. A set of Lusse auto scooters on a counter-clockwise track, these things run a little faster than typical bumper cars, and are notably missing the big rubber bumpers most bumper cars are equipped with. The collisions are metal-on-metal, and you're going to feel every single smash, sideswipe, bump, and crash. Best in a large group, these cars aren't for the faint of heart. Day 8 -- The Pictures (Part 1) Let's start with our voucher haul for the day -- unlimited rides, dinner at Pavilion V, and lunch at Cesari's. First on the agenda was Flying Turns, which had been fully operational for less than a year. Here's the 3-D wood panel ride sign for Flying Turns, which is fantastic. "Flying turns is no roller coaster. It doesn't even run on a track. . .And here's the wonder of it. Though the inclines are frightfully steep-nevertheless, they are always absolutely under control and that old man, 'centrifugal force' makes the cars just as safe to ride as a baby carriage." --Floyd Gibbons, World War I flying ace A look at the curved wood on the outside of the trough. Flying Turns was modeled after a ride from the 1920s. Construction began in 2006, but the ride did not open until late 2013. Here's the loading platform, which is not large, owing to the ride's low capacity. Flying Turns draws its theming from both aviation and road transportation, with this BGS a fine example of the latter. That's "Big Green Sign" for you non-roadgeeks, and before you make fun of me for being a roadgeek, remember you're on a roller coaster website. The ride is sensitive to weight and momentum, so all guests must weigh in to make sure the trains hit the intended target. Finally, it's time to board the trains... ...and head up to start the ride! After Flying Turns, we headed to Twister for another round of ERT. Twister isn't an actual relocation, but it's based on the plans from the Mister Twister coaster at the original Elitch Gardens location in Denver. This bolt was saved from that coaster, and installed at Knoebels to help pass the torch. The transfer table arm from the Mister Twister coaster was also saved. Knoebels is a park that loves to connect to its history, so displays like this are common throughout the park. Knoebels keeps good care of its rides, and there was plenty of new wood on Twister. Straining my neck to look up at the top of the lift hill. The double helix around the station provides a ton of great photo opportunities. The best part is that if you miss your shot, you'll get a second chance just moments later. Too many people to caption! Here's the front of the train... ...the middle of the train... ...and the back of the train, perhaps the most excited of all. Maybe the front can do better on the next run? Much better. How was the ride? The picture tells the story! A look at the entire curved loading platform near the end of our ERT session, as a few general park guests had begun to join in. Knoebels is a supporter of Give Kids The World Village, using this wishing well as a fundraiser of the park The fifth generation of the Knoebel family -- yes, the fifth generation -- is heading this up. Huge thumbs up to them! I didn't mention it earlier, but I had also hoped to try out Knoebels' mini golf course -- which looked pretty good. Just plain ran out of time, so here's a single picture until I can get back and give it a try. Time to head over to Phoenix -- the star of the show! Phoenix is located at the west end of the park, near the antique cars and the log flume. The hand-made signs all around Knoebels are awesome, and this is one of the best. Phoenix has a storied history, and a rare status as a relocated wooden coaster. It started its life as The Rocket, built in 1947 at Playland Park in San Antonio. Phoenix rose from the ashes at Knoebels in 1985. Just up the path from Phoenix is the park's log flume. We'll watch Nathan and Troy take a run on the Pepsi-sponsored attraction. Looks like they're enjoying themselves so far on the slow turn. Wait 'til they see what's up next! Heading down the drop... ...and making a pretty big splash. Hoping to stay dry on the run-out... ...and not quite successfully. All smiles. Yes, I rode the flume as well, and enjoyed it quite sufficiently. Hey, uh, the New York part is still about three trip reports later. The co-located Anthracite Mining Museum and Knoebels History Museum were next on the agenda. On the left: a 10 ton lump of coal from the Mammoth Vein in Mt. Carmel, PA. On the right: a petrified tree stump found while mining for coal. The shared museum space contains several murals of life and scenery in this part of Pennsylvania, including this one behind the gift shop counter. Coal is the main theme of the Anthracite Mining Museum, along with its many uses. Helmets. Helmets are good, when you're digging for rocks in a hellish underground environment. The Breaker Boys started work in the coal mines as early as age 6, earning four-and-a-half cents an hour. That's almost seven days of work for a single ride on Phoenix in 2016. Yikes. Next, meet this insane dinosaur. Moving into the park's history museum. If there's one thing Knoebels does better than anybody, it's history. Want to hear a song? Just 50 cents for Kozmo and Dexter's player piano. Another mural on the wall, featuring several of the park's rides, and a healthy dose of America. A look back to simpler times at the swimming hole, before chlorinated pools became all the rage. Why completely trash an old Ferris wheel, when you can stick part of it up on the wall? The "day we give it all away?" Holy smokes. In my high school, they just asked you to a dance. As mentioned in the trip report, Knoebels is especially prone to flooding. 1972, 1975, 1996, 2004, and 2011 are just a few of the years in which the park was impacted. Knoebels always moves ahead, parrying heartbreak with success. From Phoenix, to Twister, Flying Turns, and now Impulse -- there's always been something for the Knoebel family to look forward to.

Far and away the most interesting trip report of a non-operational park I've ever seen! And as much as I love the gull in front of the Valravn lift, the available light shots inside Hotel Breakers are my favorites. Thanks for sharing!

Is the ballroom sometimes closed up? When I was at the park in 2013 doing some photography, I walked right up the stairs and in during the middle of the operating day. There were a couple other park guests in there at the time as well. It's a really cool room, and definitely a bit of a time warp!

I think my visit last summer was the only time I ever saw it open. It was closed on the 2013 TPR trip, which was just a couple weeks after the incident. Just didn't interest me enough to ever ride it, and I'll go out of my way to ride a good flume. This wasn't it. After StR and Pilgrim's Giraffica Plunge, yikes. It's a pretty big plot of land that will become available at Cedar Point. As much as I'd personally love a classic flume as a replacement, think about how much space they'd have to build a large, modern, high-end family coaster if CCMR was also taken out. Something like Manta (SD) or Firechaser, only longer and even more awesome. That's something that would really round out the coaster collection.

These are pretty standard first-ride impressions, aren't they? OK, that's a little more reasonable! It's right up there for me -- right at the limit of about how intense I'd want a coaster to be, without the crush of prolonged positive g-forces that I don't enjoy. When I think of Skyrush, I think of speed and airtime. For Millennium Force, it's speed. For Fahrenheit and Storm Runner, it's unique maneuvers. For Maverick, it's the mix of unique maneuvers and airtime. For all the above, it's fun from start to finish. For me, it was not awful -- the pain was usually worse right on the brake run, but I don't think it bothered me much through the rest of the day. However, I didn't actually get to ride Skyrush without leaving the seat -- we had short waits that morning with the hotel guests, but did have to walk around the line. I actually had a minor issue with Storm Runner after 12 straight rides, in which the fast twist on the flying snake dive was starting to hurt one of my ears. It wasn't due to head-banging or anything, just from the twisting motions that threw something off! No big deal -- felt fine by the next morning.