xVicesAndVirtues

^There used to be an old Chance Trabant in that space on a portable-style platform, which the park removed around 2012ish. They then used the ride's platform as an awkward seating area before removing it entirely. Nice to see that they're going with all permanent ride pads with everything they've installed over the past few years. Great report to what used to be my home park and a park I worked at for a few years! It's also really nice that despite the fact that they haven't gotten (and likely won't get) a coaster in quite a few years, they always add something new every single year, and the past 5 years or so they've really beefed up their flat ride collection, plus expanded what was already a great admission-included waterpark. For those who haven't been keeping up on the park, they've done new flying scooters, a small frisbee-style flat ride, a mat racer/tube slide combo, a Larson loop, and now Pandemonium, all in the past 4/5 years.

So the next place we went to was Kings Dominion I know you're probably sick of reading reports from here since everybody and their brother went for the Twisted Timbers opening, so I'm going to keep this one a little short. I was a week or two late to the party, but better late than never. I'm quite fond of Kings Dominion. The (formerly) Kings Entertainment and Paramount Parks properties in the Cedar Fair portfolio really are gems and the Kings Entertainment properties have quite the storied herstory. The former owner did the cool Eiffel Tower replicas, shrouded by remarkably impressive entrance midways, in addition to some rides that the two share in common. The latter owner brought in some attempts at Universal-quality attractions. They missed the mark a little on that, but that's really not the point. They didn't do Six Flags cardboard cutouts, either. And while some of the names had to become generic af to meet the Cedar Fair mantra of calling everything "___hawk" or noun-itized verbs like Dominator, the themed attractions are more than skin-deep and carry some unique appearances and theme. In short, Kings Dominion isn't the best park in the universe, but you aren't stuck riding another mind-numbing B&M hyper where you could be blindfolded and not know whether you were on Mako or Behemoth or Nitro or whatever. No, for some reason KD has always been endowed with completely random but cool sh*t that makes their line-up unique. Drop in a B&M invert, though, I won't complain. As we arrived at the park right at opening, we were apprehensive about how this day was going to go. There were storms scheduled to roll in starting at 1PM and lasting through the whole afternoon. We gamed it out beforehand; Twisted Timbers twice then i305 until they shut the park down. Annnnnd go. Put your f*cking children on a leash and get out of the way so I can take a picture of the sign. lol jk I immediately surrendered to the temptation of Starbucks being in front of my face. My friends bee-lined to Twisted Timbers, but I really wasn't starting my day out without something to eat and cold brew in my veins. Sorry not sorry. Weeeee and down the upside-downsy drop on Twisted Timbers Because this is a site filled with rabid coaster enthusiasts ranking every wacky worm against the next, high off PCP and the recent results of the first legit coaster poll in years, I guess I'll say some things about Twisted Timbers. Just don't ask me to "rank" it, please. RMC is in a groove with their design abilities and ways to make magic out of little airtime "bumps" like these. As a result, this is somewhere in the upper echelon of the steel RMCs with something like Wicked Cyclone or Storm Chaser for me. It's kind of like Storm Chaser in that they have the twisty drop and a crap ton of intense airtime all over the layout, but I found this one a little more bearable, as Storm Chaser has some moments where you're holding on for dear life. It's awesome, you'll like it. There's this one little turn thing that you go around at a speed that should be illegal. Somebody is going to get a bloody nose from their riding partner having their hands up in that spot. Part of the theme of Twisted Timbers. It's like some kind of apocalyptic apple orchard tornado or some sh*t, idk. It doesn't really need a theme, but it looks good. An obligatory Cedar Fair trash can next to a landscape that isn't very Cedar Fair. This beautiful park is the product of multiple owners, making for a unique park that I absolutely love to visit. Look who decided to show up to the party this year. We actually had to make a Volcano pit stop before i305 because my friends hadn't been on it yet and had to ride it. I f*cking adore the theme of this coaster, it's genius! Somebody came to a board meeting high one day and said "Yo, let's like make an attraction where we build a huge paper mache mountain and theme it to a volcano, then have it launch you up and out the center of where the magma would all jizz out of", and the rest of the board said a collective "f*ck yeah!" and green lit the thing. It's not super thrilling or anything but the launches are cool. Admit it, it's awesome! I have two theories. One is that "avalanche" is the volcano erupting and turning all the snow to an ashy, muddy mess and running it off the side of the mountain. The second theory is that "avalanche" is actually a reference to the "snow", aka cocaine, that the guy at the Volcano meeting was snorting right beforehand. What's that, did you say that Avalanche opened before Volcano? Of course you did, you're a coaster enthusiast and you rank Avalanche against the one at Europa Park very carefully. Both of my theories are wrong, as it turns out. Jesus this thing is so awesome. We arrived at i305 to find that there was absolutely no wait, the one train on the track was going out with a few empty rows each cycle. Here's a ranking for you. In my very humble and probably provably-wrong opinion, I think i305 is probably the best steel coaster in the US. The coaster is totally nuts. It's just barely between the line of re-ride the f*ck out of it and "if I ride one more time I'm going to die", depending on how much water you drank that day. The G-forces are seriously ridiculous, the drop is incredible, the transitions want to snap your neck like Michael Myers on Halloween night. You NEED those shoulder straps to keep your life held together. Am I trying to pass a kidney stone or bear the G forces? Lollllllll not riding Anaconda any time soon. The tunnel feature is cool but if it were torn down tomorrow I'd celebrate. Where the coaster enthusiast buffet can be found And why B&Ms ship with the big boy seats! Ugh, I'm going to get off my high horse for a second and admit that I'm a stupid b*tch who rode this thing for the credit. "I did it because sometimes these have cool pops of air", I tell myself to make myself feel better. I always had a hardon for Batman Knight Flight for some reason when it was new and I was a kid. I just thought it looked super cool, and I'm pleased to say that it is. Coaster enthusiasts be like, "#2 because strong airtime, but the same model at Wherever Park has stronger air so it's my #1!" This is that aforementioned Eiffel Tower. However, it would not be gracing us with good views high above KD on this visit. We wanted a fast lunch due to still being unsure about the future forecast, so we grabbed some Panda Express real quick. However, they annoyingly didn't have Chicken Teriyaki. Blast! We enjoyed our lack of chicken teriyaki *glare* while sitting next to the pretty fountains featured in the plaza leading up to the Eiffel Tower Dominator was next, with it's big yellow loop. It was so busy that day, the line was like 3 hours long. Some subs happily being dominated. I'm definitely a fan of being Dominated myself. The drop is super fast, then you take the on-the-ground turns at breakneck speed! I think Coasterbill or Bodikus or one of you guys said it's like a "hyper floorless", and it really is. It's like the Kumba of floorless coasters or something. It's super fast and has some good forces. I think people that prefer Kraken or Medusa are drunk. So, I lied and this report is going to take a second post after all. Sorry bout it.

Thanks for all the comments guys! Now, more Hersheypark also features a heavily-sponsored open-air monorail experience that takes you around the park and even outside it a little. You also get some pretty cool views of Storm Runner that you can't get from on the ground in the park. You thought that the only consequence of using 8cars per trainer in RCT2 was black hole tiles in the grid?! Think again. It had real-world consequences and now one of Hersheypark's drop towers has the wrong ride vehicle and runs in a mode not designed for it in the game. "23 guests were killed in an accident on New Drop Tower 2" Some railroad tracks, smoke stacks, and an old factory are more views the Capital Blue Cross Monorail provides From the monorail, we headed down to Spring Creek and took some photos from under ThighCrush Some artsy, sky-backed Intamin track again. Skyrush is a really incredible ride. It would probably be right near my top favorites of steel coasters, but it can be a little too much. The speed, forces, and airtime are incredible and some of the highest-caliber Intamin has given us. But after a few rides, you find yourself 1/2 way through the course wishing it would end. Coal Cracker features one of those roundtable stations Some coaster nerds about to enjoy a log flume. You also get a few outside-park views from Coal Cracker. I love me a good log flume! I'm not partial to getting wet whatsoever, but I just really enjoy these rides. Sun starting to set, on a log flume, nice side views of Great Bear. Ok! One thing about Coal Cracker is the fact that it has this little airtime "bump" at the bottom of the drop. I always kind of try and jump a bit to avoid getting wet, and I was almost ejected by this thing. Storm Runner is seriously underrated as a coaster. The launch is incredibly strong, the drops are good, and the inversions are super fast. It's a short ride, but packs a huge punch! Hersheypark says "look how many of you dropped your iPhone 3Gs and Motorola Razrs on Storm Runner yesterday!" As the sun goes down and the park lights up, you really start to get that nostalgic theme park vibe The only shot I got of Lightning Racer's lights. These coasters get beautiful at night. While not super thrilling or anything, Lightning Racer is a fun way to zip around on a pretty smooth wood coaster track. With 4 of us in our group, we split into pairs, went to the back row, and "raced". Also, the fact that these coasters never seem to have any line whatsoever is awesome! A loop up Skyrush's skirt at night time Milton Hershey says "Y'all go back to where you came from, now" Thanks for reading! Kings Dominion to come soon

Hello! You may have noticed that I had a 2017 PTR thread that kind of suddenly came to an end. Or maybe you didn’t notice. Well, it came to a somewhat abrupt end due to the fact that I was using an iPhone 5 to hold myself over between a deceased 7 and waiting for the X. Well, said device crapped out and lost the remainder of my pictures. Well, those problems are now a thing of the past. I can happily report that I have an iPhone X now and that I’ve now joined the (non-Florida) theme park season as well as the 21st century. My friends and I took a quick weekend trip to Hersheypark and Kings Dominion. Why these two parks together? My friends had never been to the former and it’d been a 5 year gap for me. And the latter did some new roller coaster thing recently, you might have heard about it. So, Hersheypark . A park that somehow manages to consistently add world-class rides every couple of years that rival the major theme park chains. A park that is of a pretty good size and is (hopefully) about to get bigger and (hopefully) add yet another world-class coaster we’ll all collectively jizz over, especially as they’ve had a particular affinity for Intamin rides over the years. It’s pretty, landscaped, retains a lot of classic attractions like Comet, Sooperdooperlooper, and even an old-school whip, fitting it all in among said world-class attractions. Despite all the cutting-edge modern sh*t, Hersheypark still feels like the park from your childhood. It gives classic theme park vibes, especially when the sun goes down and you see the light bulb running lights on Lightning Racer, the smell of BBQ cooking underneath Storm Runner, the sound of Sooperdooperlooper and Great Bear duking it out for audible supremacy between classic Schwarzkopf trash-can-off-building noise and pre-sand-silenced B&M roar. It’s all very…Pennsylvania. It’s honestly one of the best parks in America, in my humble opinion. So the night before, we were driving to our hotel and being a bunch of coaster nerds, we collectively yelled OMFG SKYRUSH as we noticed it, hastily almost crashed the car, then ran onto what was likely private property to take blurry photos of Skyrush at night. Sad! What exactly happens when you get an 80-degree Saturday in April and Hersheypark is open for the season? The Pennsylvanians come out of the woodwork and make this clusterf*ck to get into the park at opening. Yikes. Many, many moons later, we arrived at the entrance ready to take this picture and have our anuses prodded before going into the park. Can I say anuses on TPR? Anus. Milton Hershey says "Now, everybody descend at once upon Comet Hollow or whatever it's called nowadays" Is that an Intamin coaster in the morning or are you just happy to see me? Shake that laffy taffy...that laffy taffy...shake that laffy taffy...that laffy taffy. Laff Trakk was a new credit for me. A standard Maurer spinner, essentially Steel Dragon from Waldameer in a box with some effects. The queue has funhouse mirrors that just beg you to take oblong selfies "Laffing Sal's House of Fun and Occasional Rape" Roller coaster FACT. There are two cobra rolls at Hersheypark Some beautiful orange Intamin track against a perfectly blue sky that morning. "Hey, can you guys get another roll of paper towels?" Great Bear and it's super random track design crisscrosses The Hollow. It's a fun inverted coaster, not trying to de-throne Raptor or Montu, but living it's own life and doing it's own thing. It's special. Always nice to see a classic Schwarzkopf coaster. This one is kind of like a "mine train" version, but still fun, scenic, and that loop! I'm happy to say that The Comet is the best wood coaster at Hersheypark. One of not many surviving Herbert Schmeck wood coasters built by PTC, it's sort of a sister to greats like Comet at Great Escape and Phoenix at Knoebel's. What's better than buzz bars and wooden airtime goodness? A modern Intamin coaster to stand over it and give some thigh-destroying modern airtime! Great Bear doing it's zero-gee thingy Great Bear, Spring Creek, and the famous "funky supports", which I fully uhh...support For lunch, we went to Moe's. They have a pretty much full-scale menu complete with Moe's queso, free chips, and free salsa. A shot of some of the menu's offerings. Everybody else went to Moe's for lunch, too. This whole area, which was full of eateries, was jam-packed. Every food-serving location in the park was totally insane for lunch. Maybe Hersheypark should make some further investments into expanding the size of existing food venues or adding even more. This particular line took about 30 minutes. I really think the park is losing some business, because we saw and heard quite a few people mentioning going to get food outside the park instead due to the lines. More to come!

Oh wow, this is such awesome news. I had my hopes set to absolute zero ever since the announcement of the issues and I was almost 100% convinced that they'd be taking Colossos out back to be shot. I just hope the work is being done by Intamin or a company that can return it to it's original state. I also hope that the "improvements" won't alter the layout too much, since this really is an amazing coaster. Maybe they'll add an elevator lift and market it as an insane new thrilling feature?

Every single word about EGF is so true. Those original-style Intamin trains/restraints track so well and the lap bars are so comfortable. Riding it last year made me yearn for the SFNE Superman of old, since the original trains tracked better and the original lap bars didn't try to keep you from getting the full effect of the airtime. Long live Expedition GeForce. Skyrush might have "stronger" airtime and things like i305 or Maverick might have more insane/scary laterals, but you could literally ride EGF all day. And that's what makes it the perfect steel coaster.

Love your report! Great photos and a huge amount of detail. When you mentioned Linear Gale, at first I was like "where are the photos of that coaster", then I looked on rcdb and I never knew it's been gone for 7 years Thunder Dolphin looks so graceful. I know everyone says it's not up to the level of the other Intamin hypers, but that is totally fine by me. I have a weak spot for that type of coaster and this one is definitely on my list of ones to ride, one of these days.

Six Flags Great America The Six Flags Park that thinks it's a Cedar Fair park. Wow, we were really blown away by this park. We visited during a super-busy Saturday in July and they really had their act together. They got everybody through security pretty quickly when we arrived soon after park opening, with smiling, friendly employees. We then walked in, not with the thought of "let's see if we need Flash Pass today", but "which Flash Pass are we going to get today?" on our minds. We decided to walk in just a bit, see how lines were shaping up, and go from there. As we stood by Joker, which was still completing it's morning tests and about to open, the absolutely huge line forming finalized our decision to go for the Platinum level. Just as I was saying the words, "Alright, let's go find the Flash Pass center", I hear "Hey, you guys need Flash Passes?", from behind me. An Accesso-uniformed employee was walking up with a plastic tub full of Flash Passes, another employee at her side. This was a brilliant idea that she told me they were testing at their park, and I hope they expand this practice. There was a slight glitch in getting my credit card processed, as I think they were out of range or something, but the other employee ran to process it quickly, while she stood with us and we all chatted for a minute. She was really upbeat and friendly, a theme we'd see from pretty much everyone on this day. I'll mostly let my photos do the talking, but please, Six Flags, use this park's operations as a model. The park was clean and looked great, employees seemed well-trained and friendly, operations ran smoothly and efficiently. My group and I all came away thinking this is probably the best Six Flags park or close to it, but it was easily the best Six Flags experience. I didn't realize we were turning into the park until the last second, so I snapped the sign photo quick. Kind of Great Adventure-esque in the way that you walk up to the entrance by walking around the Superman flyer clone to your left. Also Great Adventure-esque in the way that both parks removed the same huge old Arrow loopers in their front corners, albeit at different times. Walking in from the main entrance, where Joker was still in it's morning testing phase and sporting an enormous line. This was a beautiful Saturday in July, so of course it was going to be slammed today. After snagging our awesome Platinum Flash Passes, we weren't waiting around for Joker to finish testing. Oh no, we headed straight back to RMC land. I actually had super low expectations for Goliath, based on things that people say. You can't always believe what you read on the internet. Yes, it has kind of a short layout, but the first drop is every bit as good as the ones on Outlaw Run or Lightning Rod, then you get an action-packed twisty layout with sweeeeet moments like the insane dive through head chopper heaven, the awesome sustained hangtime through the roll, and even a moment or two of airtime. Goliath absolutely delivers and we immediately re-reserved it and took 2-3 laps. Fun, themed Splash Battle in the middle of a Six Flags park? Definitely a win and we saw a lot of people having fun here throughout the day on and off the ride. Okay, there had to be something Six Flags-y about the park, right? I give you this dis-assembled flat ride just kind of sitting there in the open. Yeah, if you could not get stuck upside down, that would be great. Off to the Southwest Territory. This was a really nicely-done area, again, top notch for Six Flags. I took some photos of Raging Bull before we actually went and rode it. But I'll tell you about it now. It's too bad that more of the pre-drop B&M hypers didn't happen. The pre-drop on Raging Bull and Apollo's Chariot really makes these drops the best on this type of coaster. If you're sitting in the back row, get ready for a great kick into that drop! Bull's turn-around. While it's nothing super crazy, Raging Bull really was a breath of fresh air compared to the "Nitro copy and paste" B&M hyper layouts. It had some fun, swoopy turns in the beginning, followed by a second half that's full of laterals and fun little moments. It's kind of disorienting, but a fun way to fly around in a B&M hyper train. Overall, a solid ride. No, we weren't headed for the drop tower, we were headed for the excellent JB's Smokehouse. If you read coasterbill's report, you'll hear him rave about this place and he's 100% right. It's a shame I didn't get any photos inside, but they did a good job of creating a sports bar atmosphere with TV screens, booths to sit at, and tables in the middle. The menu featured great barbecue, definitely way above theme park standards. I got some kind of pulled pork or pulled chicken or something, but it was really good and they hit the barbecue sauce recipe just right. What's more, they had a good bar/beer selection and it was a chill space to hang out and take a break from the park for a little bit. Six Flags really got it right on this and I hope they expand these to more parks. Okay, this was the point where we actually went and rode Raging Bull for real. Note the 45 minute wait. That's with them cranking out trains running either 2 or 3. It's hard not to be impressed by this. What a massive wall of wood. Speaking of wood, we went on the weird scavenger hunt to find the Flash Pass entrance for Viper next. It's definitely a good "Cyclone clone" but it seems this coaster has seen better days. It seemed slowed down in a few spots where it could have run faster and a little bit of shuffling. It would be nice for Six Flags to return this to what it's capable of being. There's definitely a lot of head choppers in this park. Next we went and rode the classic Schwarzopf, Whizzer. Things like this are why we found Great America to be one of the best, if not the best Six Flags. What a nice coaster the whole family can ride, where you can just fly through the trees in a train with minimalist restraints. Some more of the beauty of this coaster. I hope this coaster stays in place for more decades to come. It wouldn't be a "big four" Six Flags park without the staple, Batman The Ride I thought it was kind of strange for this to be an Intamin Impulse with a straight spike lacking a holding brake. Regardless, these coasters pack a big punch with their alarming launches. Just mind the magnetic slow down at the end of the ride, I feel like I'm about to puke every time that happens. Nothing but sky and coaster X Flight is still super popular at this park. Note how far back we were, even in the Flash Pass line. Next, we'd begin the long walk back to American Eagle. It's really tucked away in a far-flung corner of the park. American Eagle was fun but could use a little bit of love in terms of maintenance, which seems to be the case with the traditional woodies here. Some jackhammering in hills was definitely present. You randomly end up on the Skycoaster platform while walking back to American Eagle, which was odd but cool. I wanted to keep this update to one post, so I leave you with a photo I took from the upper deck of the park's iconic carousel. What a great day at this park, definitely one of the best days I've ever had at a Six Flags. I'll absolutely be coming back here, keep this trend going!

^Oh yeah, I didn't mean to imply that it kills the pacing, just interrupts it for a few moments. I think I actually enjoyed the return run more than the first half.

Well, some time passed between the parks of the last visit and the pretty park-packed trip that I'm about to report on. A couple of months prior, my friends and I were sitting in a bar in Ybor City in Tampa (which I highly recommend by the way), and they invited me to come along on their Chicago trip so that we could all go to Six Flags Great America, club in Boys Town, and eat what would later be revealed to be the most disgusting pizza ever. Under heavy influence of alcohol, I whipped out my credit card and immediately purchased the flight for the same day as my friends in late July and that was that. Since they had planned quite a long weekend with just a few events, and all of us being of the theme park persuasion, I suggested that we add on another park and either go north to Wisconsin Dells or east to Michigan's Adventure. Since we all had Cedar Fair passes already, we decided to hit up good old MIA. So here it is, Michigan's Adventure This park is very pretty but definitely has the "old Cedar Fair" feel in a lot of areas as well. It seems like all at the same time, this park, Dorney, and Valleyfair got super corporatized and Cedar Fair poured a sh*t ton of concrete, bought some colorful fences, and had some big signs made. Don't get me wrong, it looks crisp and clean, but it just looks really generic and devoid of charm. However, there are a lot of very pretty and scenic aspects of this park as well, as you'll see in the photos below. Shivering Timbers is a solid above-average woodie. Nothing super amazing, but this is absolutely the star of the park. There's some good pops of floater air in some spots and there's definitely some jarring moments in the back row, especially on (I think) the second hill. The pacing gets a little interrupted by the slow turnaround, and I can definitely say that after a long day where I didn't get much sleep the night before due to an early flight, I started getting sea sick over all the repeated hills from it at the end of the day, so I sat it out for a bit while my friends finished out our day marathoning. There's another woodie, Wolverine Wildcat, which I guess is supposed to be some kind of attempt at a Phoenix clone? Idk, it wasn't very good and honestly didn't even remind me all that much of Phoenix. So maybe a Phoenix clone if all you've seen is a few blurry photos of it. A third woodie for the kids that has a few pops of air and some quick drops. They have a train ride where they literally yell at you for taking photos, which is weird. But we rode it toward the end of the day and I can be a little c*nty if I didn't get enough sleep, so I just snapped back at the lady to kick me out if she wants to stop me from doing so. She didn't. Operations at the park weren't very good but they didn't need to be. The place was pretty much empty and everything was always a walk on, which is a nice break from standing in line half the day to get on Expedition Everest or something. BUT, when the water park cleared out, Shivering Timbers did get about a 5-6 train wait. The park has an SLC that is below-average on pain level, a good thing. They have an old Arrow wild mouse that was f*cking bonkers and I think we rode it about as many times as we did Shivering Timbers. I remember one or two of the hills at the end having almost-ejector air. Even better, they have you hold onto your belongings, so I kept playing "let my bag get airtime" because I'm a stupid b*tch, but it was fun. If they've since changed the policy after seeing me do this, sorrieeee. Quick, to the photos! Welcome to Michigan's Adventure! I'm sure the dog told you that you're at a Cedar Fair park that was remodeled in the early 2000s! Merry Christmas! We actually rode the kiddie woodie first because it was close to the front. Fun and as a bonus, the mini-PTC trains have lap bars that give you a lot of freedom, just be careful if you slam up into it because it's literally just a metal bar. My friends who grew up riding Python at Busch Gardens Tampa had a moment with this. View out the back of the station shows you some more of Michigan's Adventure's offerings, pretty much all of which are situated close to this pretty lake. Shiver Me Timbers. It's really cool that Cedar Fair made this kind of investment into this park, even if it was a very long time ago. The park definitely treats it as their crown jewel, keeping the flowers along the queue walkway in tip-top shape and they even hired the RCT guy to mow the lawn. Swing to the right Swing to the left B*tch train lady was NOT stopping me from taking photos of Shivering Timbers Pretty scenery in what is still largely an un-touched part of the country. It's really quaint up here and people are super nice and polite. Except for the train lady. She's not from here. Has pain ever been so beautiful? Good thing this one wasn't so bad. At this point, we noticed that there was a sign advertising a "beer garden" that we couldn't see anywhere. After walking down a random path, we found what was more of a "beer patio" on the lake, and sat down in some nice Adirondack chairs and chilled for a bit. I didn't get a photo of the beer patio but I did get one of the lake! And one of the not-anything-like-Phoenix coaster We went on the log flume, which I also didn't get a photo of. But I did get this photo of Shivering Timbers from it! Land of Lincoln And with that, we left for the day, then drove to the end of the parking lot to get some Shivering Timbers photos Gorgeous sunset in what is an absolutely stunning part of the country. I know the park is kind of whatever if we're being honest with ourselves, but the drive up here is nice and it's just a good break to take the park at a leisurely pace and ride what you want, when you want. And with that, here's a sh*tty panoramic photo taken with my sh*tty phone. I'm going to be first in line to pre-order the new iPhone on Friday, I swear. I've been holding out for it. Thanks for reading!

As I said in the last post, I actually went to two parks that day. I left SFA in time to get to Doswell, VA 2 hours before Kings Dominion was scheduled to close at 10PM, giving myself an extra hour just in case I-95 decided not to be my friend that day. It was, so I even had time to stop and take my time enjoying some dinner, before arriving at... Kings Dominion I really like this park quite a bit. I always thought it was by far the better "Kings" park, but in the past few years, Cedar Fair has really cranked a lot into the 'Island and has sort of given KD a run for it's money. Now, before everyone goes and yells at me, I know that i305 single-handedly bests every single thing at Kings Island, but I think the totality of that park's line-up feels very complete now, making Kings Dominion seem just a bit lacking. So I'm glad that RMC is coming in for next year, because I think Twisted Timbers is absolutely what the doctor ordered, in addition to balancing the park map away from being so left-side-heavy. If I had to play mental RollerCoaster Tycoon, I'd really love for this park to get something like a GCI woodie or maybe a B&M Invert in the future, but again, that's just what I'd love to see and is based on no knowledge of the park's financials. This was my first time here since 2011, but having most of the credits already and 2.5 hours on the clock, you know what I was here for. Intimidator305 is so awesome. I can think of a lot worse ways to spend an evening than riding Superman at SFA then going and riding i305. But something about this coaster seems to have changed since the last time I rode it. Maybe I was just the proper amount of hydrated or ate the right meal that evening, but back then I had a hard time riding it more than 3 times in a row. I spent over an hour and a half of my visit marathoning it. Back row, front row, middle of the train, just everywhere. It was running so smooth and I loved every second of it. Sure, I still blacked out every single time and it was still every bit intense as I remember it, but it just seems so much more tolerable now. This was one of the best marathon sessions I've ever had, with one train waits or less despite only one train being on the track. This is definitely right in the top few steel coasters I've been on. This ride is totally nuts in the best ways. It's terrifying. Very few pictures from this visit, but still, here you go. The Dominion. I would like to see Cedar Fair modernize this sort-of retro entrance plaza here, but without tearing it down. It has tons of character. Just throw up a few screens around it, dig a trench for a big B&M Invert to dive underneath it, Fury-style. Voila! I always thoroughly enjoy being Dominated. It's the B&M Floorless that thinks it's supposed to be a hypercoaster! About to get on towards the back of the train. This one really packs a punch and does NOT ride like it's a B&M floorless. It's probably the best of them for that reason. Blurry af photo, sorry. I didn't have this credit at the time I took this photo and I still don't have it now. Someday I'll get it, but credits aren't that huge a deal to me. Volcano, the closed coaster. While I was hoping it would be open, this ride is awesome for the launches, first turn, and inversion, then it kind of does nothing. This. Maybe the best steel coaster in the US? Anaconda, lol no. Some angular magnetic brake magic. More magnetic brakes with the twisted layout in the background. One train on the track, but that was no problem! Crowds were non-existant and the back row was a one-train wait at best. All the same people just kept going around over and over. From this point on, I spent the next hour and a half or so marathoning the crap out of this incredible coaster. Eiffel Tower at night in a slightly blurry photo. I've actually never been up this one. And I leave you with a photo of the pretty fountain lights at night. I had a great short visit to KD, I can't wait to come back next year for the new RMC hotness! As a bonus, the next day, I got up "early" (for me) and drove the rest of the way home to Orlando to meet a friend who also hadn't yet been on Mine Blower since it had opened about two weeks prior. Lots of twisty track here. Flying along at warp speed in the comfortable Timberliners! Banking like crazy! I realized I didn't get a picture of the inversion, I was too busy snapchatting it! One thing I found just a little bit odd about Mine Blower...it seemed just a tiny bit "rough" for such a new coaster. I'm very careful about how I use that word. At no point did it beat me up or leave me with any sort of spine alterations or anything of that sort. It's not a rough coaster. But it kind of seemed to grind along the track in a way that you might expect a coaster with a few years under it's belt to...not sure if they used a different type of wheel here or what. But this definitely wasn't the case with Switchback last year nor was it the case with Wooden Warrior, even when I rode it a few seasons in. But all the same, a fun coaster and another HUUUGE win for Fun Spot after they added White Lightning a couple of years back. If you're in the Orlando area, please come and give Fun Spot your money so that they can continue to grow!

So when I visited Dollywood in the last post, it was actually part of a drive all the way to upstate New York to visit family. Who in their right mind would drive the haul from Orlando to upstate New York? Me. I find long road trips to be a great way to clear my mind, take a nice solo trip, stop at random places, etc. I actually hit Great Adventure the day after Dollywood, primarily for El Toro and just to marathon the other coasters that I like there. I realized that I forgot to take any photos, sorry bout it. It was actually a super short day, with rain and lightning in the area inhibiting both the beginning and end of my visit. I got 2-3 rides on Nitro, a spin on Green Lantern, then probably 5-10 rides on El Toro, which was running really great and super smooth this year. I think I rode Kingda Ka once. Honestly, the park is slipping back into it's questionable days. Operations were inconsistent, some areas were good and some were bad. Really bizarre was that they used the line-ticket system on Green Lantern when there was literally zero line. Weird. Nitro's trains looked totally disgusting, with brown sweat stains caked into all the headrests, all the foam peeled off the restraints, etc, you know the look. Two trains, one corner station operations on Ka with the longest line in the park (still only 15 minutes or so). Come on, Six Flags, you're better than this. So, the original plan for the drive back down a week later was to spend the better part of a day at Busch Gardens Williamsburg. However, instead of driving down to the lower mid-Atlantic for the night before, I ended up re-connecting with an old friend in New York City, and after a long night of drinking and f*cking (am I allowed to say that on TPR?), I got a super late start and it would not have made any sense to go to BGW for the last 2 hours they were open, so instead I had to scour my mind and the map while sitting in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike. I hatched a plan after verifying park hours. I was going to hit two parks that afternoon and evening, starting with, ohhh yeah... Six Flags America I'm going to say something super crazy. I'd rather go to SFA than Universal Orlando. I had something totally mind-boggling happen to me here. I had an iced tea in my hand when I was walking through the metal detector. The person at the gate said, "Sir, I'm sorry but you have to finish that before you can go in. We only allow water or something hydrating like gatorade in". I replied that it was an un-sweetened tea, the purpose of which I'd bought to hydrate myself in the 95-degree heat. The employee said, "Oh alright, yeah I guess that makes sense", then he let me through with it. At this time, I imagined myself standing at the anal cavity search at the entrance to CityWalk. If this exact same situation had happened there, they would have told me to go f*ck myself. That's right, Six Flags America has better service than Universal Orlando. Imagine if I told you that 10 years ago, you would have had me committed. Two week ban. Endless trolling. While on this subject, I also just want to point out that Six Flags America had an old B&M re-built on their property after being shipped from the brutal winters of Chicago. Universal Orlando has sent three B&M coasters to the scrap yard now. Three. I don't really think SFA is a whole lot worse than some of the other Six Flags parks, but where some of the Six Flags parks can get by on their natural setting with hills, trees, etc, SFA is kind of set up for failure by being essentially an empty field, and that's what makes the otherwise normal Six Flags lack of theming that much more blaring. Anyway, sorry about all my paragraphs, here are some things to look at. Did you read the forum rules? All SFA reports MUST include a picture of this helix and a comment about it being un-banked and having high lateral forces as a result. Check and check. Since the last time I visited back in 2012 or so, Six Flags Great America grabbed one of those fancy new flat-rate UPS boxes and gifted SFA with their wild mouse. These boxes are great, even the sign fit in! lol this is cute. This is what SFA looks like. A bit of blacktop, a couple of random dead ends, and a train ride through the crabgrass. "Hey, IOA, look what we did with an old B&M!" Why did they RMC the California one? I tried to ride this a few times but it kept going down. Cute how they kept the theming from the old Skull Mountain water ride or whatever it was called. IT'S F*CKING THEMING. YOU ASKED, WE ADDED IT. Hahahahahaha f*ck no, I have the credit. After spending a couple of minutes in the Superman brake run, I got bored and started taking pictures of my face. Actually really good airtime hills. This bit of Superman is every bit as good as this part of Expedition GeForce. Outdoor Flight of Fear and a new or new-ish Star Flyer. As you can see, crowds were just unbearable that day. The front car on the older Intamin hypers actually tends to deliver stronger airtime, especially on those bunny hills. I will take an Intamin hyper in a field over a field without an Intamin hyper 365/365. Did I make the long walk back to Batwing? No, I just didn't feel like it that day. Weeee This one time when I was a kid, I was on a swingset and one of the chains broke when I was swinging super high, and I fell, smashed my face on the ground, and subsequently cried like a little b*tch. Will I let the same thing happen to me on a 200 foot tower? Hellllllllllllll no. Such a chode-y little Skycoaster you have, Six Flags. Apocalypse started running again, and since I didn't have the credit, I made my way over there, knowing what I was probably getting myself into. Yeah, it smacked me around the head a lot and I swore many, many times. Can you guys do the thing at Cedar Fair has been doing and floorless the ones that suck? I was going to ride in row 1, but after I waited several minutes as they gave no f*cks about getting the train out of the station any time soon, I moved to row 2 just so I could get myself out of there. lol, Fright Fest be like People always say this, too, but it's true that the entrance area of SFA is really pretty, then the end of this midway is where the theming budget well ran dry. "Sorry guys, we spent all the money on the sign"

Woah, awesome report to this park. I think I'm holding out for the B&M Invert, but I really want to get to Grona Lund. Definitely one of the most in-depth reviews of this park that I've seen!

You had me at Econo Lodge Awesome report! The wind can really make or break a day there! I'm honestly kind of surprised that they made the decision to close everything for the entire day early on, but it must have been all bad news in the forecast. When I was there in May, coasters like Raptor would go down for a few hours for wind, open for 2 hours, go down again, etc. I'm glad someone said it. Millennium Force, while not as intense as i305, Fury, etc, is just so awesome. I could literally ride it all day long without taking a break.

^^My thoughts exactly on the Econo Lodge. I paid something like $89 a night there. Now, full disclosure, the interior of the actual rooms were definitely Econo Lodge level. Bathroom fan that sounds like a lawnmower, carpeting from 1973, etc. But since they went this hard on the exterior, a quick remodel of the rooms themselves could make this place seriously competitive.

Dollywood The best place to enjoy a beer. Except that it's not sold here, because alcohol is the devil's brew and you're going straight to h-e-double hockey sticks just for thinking about it. That's okay, there's a chapel in the park where you can get down on your knees and beg the lord for forgiveness for your sins. Not your thing? Don't worry, you're with me for this visit, we can gay the pray away together! Full disclosure, some of the pictures in this report I took in March, the rest I took in July. Lightning Rod evaded me during the March trip, and so I made a second attempt and got two rides on it before the inevitable happened. Three lifetime total. I'll again keep my thoughts brief and let the pictures do most of the talking. You already are aware that Dollywood is awesome and that they have cinnamon bread, yada yada. I'm happy to report that neither of these things have changed. Thunderhead still isn't rough, it sucks that Arrow went out of business and never got to make more loopers like Tennessee Tornado, Mystery Mine is a mindf*ck of great dark ride, awesome Eurofighter, and ouch that transition hurt my ear. K? K. I booked very last minute for this trip and everything in Pigeon Forge was running high-$100s, mid $200s for the 3-4 star hotels, so I took a chance on this place and it was actually super nice! The room itself was definitely the 2-star quality you expect from an Econo Lodge, but the property was cool. Well, here we are! Dollywood is a prime example of how parks can put small touches on things and make it look really nice. I hate birds, but these birdhouses were cute af This awesome wood pile looks like the demon bird from my worst f*cking nightmare. Let's ride Thunderhead! I always start and finish my visits to Dollywood here. It's definitely my favorite GCI with perfect "out of control" feeling, great pacing, and a good mix of laterals and little pops of air. Weeee! Fly-through never gets old Owl 1: "Hey, did you know that there are some pussy enthusiasts who think Thunderhead is rough?" Owl 2: "I'll believe anything! One time I did PCP and I thought I was having a conversation with an owl!" More bird sh*t. Well, not actual bird sh*t, but sh*t themed to birds. The best-ever Arrow looper thrilling some people I could have waited for the swinging to start. Seriously, you can pretty much use anything to make a small area look that much better! Herschend gets this, why can't other parks get this? A view of some of the airtime you can spot from Craftsmen's Valley Dollywood has an actual steam-powered train. See, they're already making America great again and creating coal jobs! Actual representation of what's been going wrong with Lightning Rod. What's going on with the communication and lack of action here? NO ONE is assigned to the final tune up, Big Al hasn't even come up with a plan to fix the bent frame, John Reagan ordered the new block but is still waiting for it to come in, the Ogle Bros haven't finished painting the thing, and the Sheriff is just sitting on his a$$! What is this, the Trump White House? If you look DIRECTLY at the eclipse, the light may blind you. But I mean, do what you gotta do. Ooo headers. Where the launchy bit happens. Also, 50% of the car being occupied by the engine has to also mess with the balance and handling, due to most of the weight being over the front axle. Yay crazy airtime! I almost lost my sunglasses from the airtime, and I've never even had them budge on my face on a coaster. Station shot before I got a back-row ride. I'd put my synopsis of Lightning Rod this way: I'm an El Toro person. I like the huge drops and hills with the strong positives and even stronger sustained negatives. Lightning Rod is similar in some ways but a different sort of beast in others. The quad-down, for example, actually has stronger airtime than a coaster like El Toro, but it's quick, sharp bursts instead of the longer, sustained ejector. I'll also go out on a limb here and say that the part of Outlaw Run from it's drop onward is actually a little better than Lightning Rod, until Lightning Rod comes back up and over the mountain for that finale, at which time it smashes Outlaw Run to bits. The more coasters you ride, the harder it gets to rank things. But I'd say that Lightning Rod is a very close #2 by a hair to El Toro for me, but easily beating other typical favorites like Voyage, Boulder Dash, Phoenix, etc. And we'll end it with a picture of the new hotness, Drop Line! Thanks again for reading!

^Yes, I should definitely have mentioned that. I think by the time we were done with the tour, it was between 12:30 and 1 PM. So, I guess if you really want a long day at CP to go crazy and ride absolutely everything multiple times, do the tour but make it a two-day trip. If you've already got a few visits to CP under your belt and want a unique perspective of some of the best aspects of the park, this is a great way to do that. And also yes! I looked him up and by profile picture, Josh aka JRice92 was the Valravn supervisor I mentioned. So awesome that he's a member of the TPR community!

Partie Deux of Cedar Point. I squeezed the second part of the Sunrise Thrills Tour and the rest of our two remaining days there into one post, because again, everything that needs to be said about Cedar Point has pretty much been said. You can't deny that this is truly one of the best parks in the world to visit. From Valravn, we got to walk over to Dragster, where it was nearing the end of it's morning testing and running consistently. Look, I did the thing you guys do where you take a picture of people taking pictures! My latest artistic photo to be hung in The Louvre. Down the back...but who cares? Still The Louvre. Photos can hardly capture how tall coasters like Dragster are. But this one comes close. Dinosaurs alive...for now. Next we walked completely across Millennium Island, where this absolutely stunning coaster dominates. Continuing along the Millennium Island tour, we got some nice backstage shots of Shoot The R...oh thats embarrassing. Rougarou/Mantis as a floorless automatically makes it one of the best floorless coasters. Great layout, forces intended for the stand-up, old school B&M, it's got it! Warning, nerdy sequence of photos to follow. We were walked into Millennium Force's restricted area, then under the station, where we got to see the underside of the trains and how the catch car comes down and attaches to them. That little steel pin in the middle is the physical attachment between the train and catch car. When the computer is given the dispatch command, the catch car reverses a couple more feet, then the pin engages. Transfer area and water dummies. Giant cable pulleys and huge counterweights to offset your fat a$$ The tunnels and hills that take you to/from Millennium Island This is my trip report and I will do this as many times as I want. 310 feet of yuuuuuge Okay, so then we got walked back to Maverick, where again, we got to enter the restricted area and get some behind-the-scenes shots, such as this side of the drop you didn't know existed! Airtime Fountain photo from the other side! At this point, it was time for the tour to end. We were walked up Maverick's exit stairs and escorted directly onto the next train! Awesome We hit the skyride next, where I took a crooked photo. As this was a Saturday and we'd already seen Maverick having a 60-minute line, we went up front to get FastLane Plus for the rest of our visit. And it was a good move! At one point, Raptor was a 30-minute wait in the FLP queue. Just some nice views of the midway from Skyride. Twisted Wicker or whatever. The launches on these are intense and be prepared for the slow-down. Not for the weak of stomach. Really pretty setting for Rougarou Also pretty setting for Maverick I'm sure we all know someone who would bring the right tool to steal this plate off the train. And I end the Cedar Point photos with everyone's favorite coaster there. Thanks for reading, another park from another trip coming soon!

^Not to mention the fact that if said park sells alcohol, the more you drink, the less you notice the cold. We had the entire park to ourselves that first day, something I didn't even know could be possible at CP. Getting to repeatedly walk on to Maverick when it's usually a wait even with Fast Lane Plus was so awesome. Thanks for all the comments, guys! I'll have the next part up later today.

Oh my god I could not agree more about the deep dish pizza. When I was in Chicago about a month ago, my friends and I went to the Giordano's downtown location, waited an hour and a half (45 minutes for our table, 45 for our pizzas to be made), and then had to eat the huge disappointment that is deep dish pizza. It's like if somebody made a giant cinnamon bun but put pizza sauce and cheese on it instead of cinnamon and frosting. It's just too doughy and so wrong.

As promised, the Sunrise Thrill Tour photos. We just hadddd to get that late ride on Dragster, didn't we? Hey, I think that's actually the PR guy I was talking about. If you're a Cedar Fair executive and you're reading this for some odd reason, he's great! Actual footage of me on a leash. When you're standing on top of Valravn, you get views like this. I'm smiling in this photo, you just can't tell. She can be mean in the morning. The part where the whole slow drop thing happens. Catwalk photo or POV? You decide! Can we talk about Raptor for a second? I've always known it's "probably" the best invert, but the MCBR wasn't even touching the trains on this visit and we got insane rides. So much snapping in the cobra roll and in the end when you hit the brakes. Back on the much-warmer ground (seriously, it felt like 20 degrees on top of Valravn with winds threatening to blow us off), we next got a tour of Valravn's maintenance/backstage areas. These mechanisms make control the station floor. But you knew that already because you're a coaster enthusiast and you know everything. Brake/transfer block area upskirt shot. Warning: the following photos may have a profound effect on some of you. That's where the bearings go. Nothing else. Yes, I reached out and spun the side friction wheel. Train labels, brake fins, and drive wheels! It's getting hot in here! Annnnd the money shot! This guy holds you on the drop chain. Then he leaves the drop chain because that's life. Get used to it. One of the transfer shed bays. At that point, it was time to start some water dummy dispatches! We got a whole explanation of their opening procedures, as Valravn is a rollback risk coaster, so there's a whole progressive water dummy procedure every morning. Fancy Valravn control panel. It's also worth noting that Valravn has a very talented ride supervisor who was working that morning. He was really making sure everybody was efficient and seemed to care deeply about the coaster and following all procedures. Sadly, as is the trend, I can't remember his name, but more parks should have people like this. I really hope this guy gets recognized and promoted, because people like this make the difference in terms of operations and guest experience. Restraint-check screen. That's a completed run! Next, they added another train. Then, we got to go and have some breakfast! We ate in the employee cafeteria, which had a great breakfast selection. Plus, our meals were included in the price of the tour. All the standard breakfast items were included. French toast, pancakes, hash browns, eggs, bacon, etc. After breakfast, we were escorted back to Valravn for the first ride of the day in the front row! Afterwards, we got to take photos from the in-field of the ride, which also provided some awesome views such as this. Sunrise tour continues in the next post.

Cedar Point and Sunrise Thrills Tour The next park we went to on this trip was Cedar Point. My friends and I are from Florida, and we lucked out at KI by getting mid-70s weather (which we’d honestly describe as “a bit cool”), but when we got to Cedar Point, we were not as lucky. It was early May and extremely cold with a mean Lake Erie wind, then, to add insult to injury, it started raining. Riiight when we were going up the lift on Millennium Force, yeahhh. We were freezing our a$$es off, so we bought some park merchandise to layer up, then warmed up the good ol’ fashioned way: alcohol. Cedar Point honestly did a great job of keeping everything running that they could despite the rain, wind, and cold, and we had a great first evening there. The next morning, we did something I’d recommend to any enthusiast, as it was 1,000% worth it. The Sunrise Thrills Tour. In a nutshell, you pay about $200ish per person, then you get up at the crack of dawn and go to Guest Relations at 6AM. There, a park staff member meets you and you get to go to the top of Valravn, then tour some restricted areas of Millennium Force, smaller Kingda Ka, and Maverick. I’ll let the photos do the talking, it really was a great trip to the park and again, buy the Sunrise Thrills Tour right now. Hey look, they RMC'd Disaster Transport I'm one of those people who like Millennium Force and also wash their hands after using the restroom. Admit it, you like Millennium Force, too. Unfortunately, this was not an enjoyable ride on Millennium Force by any measure. We were going up the lift and it started to rain. If you go on RCDB, you'll find that Millennium Force goes 93mph. If you've been on Millennium Force in the rain, you fully understand why your car has a windshield. Also, one more thing happened. Apparently MF has a strict "two trains in the rain" policy. As we sat in the brake run, the rain started to pick up and the crew proceeded to transfer off one train while we sat there, which took about 10 minutes. The only way to describe wearing jeans and being forced to sit in one position in the pouring rain is this: f*cking awful. -1 for CP operations on this one, get everybody off before removing the damn train! A sizable gap in time exists between the MF photo and this one. We went to Friday's and got several cocktails down our throats while the rain let up. I actually remember being kind of drunk and being in awe of how pretty Magnum is. At this point we didn't have any hopes of Dragster being open that day, as we didn't see it go once. Back in and on the midway, things were actually looking quite good! It was freezing out and windy, so it drove pretty much everybody out of the park. Score! Don't worry, I just sent this latest never-before-seen photo of SteVen to Screamscape and it'll be posted as part of a special update for you all to gawk over. Aww, he got the fountain shot! Barbra Streisand. Park was getting near closing and we started to see signs of life at Dragster. So we did what any responsible adults that were progressively drinking all day would do...we waited! As a result, we were at the park until like 11PM that day even though we had to be back at 6AM. But we got to ride...yaasss queen! Nice lighting on Valravn at night. See you at 6AM! And see YOU in the next post for the Sunrise Thrills Tour photos.

Hey all, I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but I think everybody went to the exact same parks in 2017. I wasn’t going to do a TR at first, but then I was going back through my photos and suddenly felt compelled to do so. I’m going to save you some time here. If you don’t want to read another TR from Kings Island (which I 100% understand if you don’t), skip this first post. I think everything to say about Kings Island has already been said. Cedar Fair as a whole has been on a major come-up the past few seasons, and our spring trip there was no exception. They’ve really got their foot on the gas as a chain and they’re absolutely walking away from Six Flags in terms of park quality and cleanliness, friendliness of staff, efficiency, etc. Kings Island is no exception, we had a great experience here. What you’ve been told about Mystic Timbers is also true. It’s right up there with Thunderhead and Renegade as the best of GCI and I really think they hit their stride when doing these more out-and-back style woodies as opposed to the twisted layouts. I’m not going to do a shed reveal for those of you holdouts, so this is a safe TR to read. We got some pretty decent rides on Diamondback this year. Banshee is forceful and graceful as always, up with the top of the inverts, but I have to say I prefer the older, more snappy layouts of Montu and Raptor still. The Bat is a classic and I hope KI keeps it forever and ever. I hope they RMC Vortex or something. And The Beast. Sorry, not sorry. Baby, this is what you came for. Lightning strikes every time she moves. And everybody's watching her, but she's looking at you. I like it when parks place hypers in low-lying areas like this. Another example would be Superman at SFNE. The effect makes 200 feet look so much larger. Nothing like getting smacked in the face first thing in the morning. 1987 - ? A few good back-car rides on The Bat (especially at night) are all you need. My clinically-insane friend who has this rough coaster fetish that's too graphic to explain here, reaching out for the SoB he never got to ride. Yeah. I already did! Oh f*ck I just realized that I lied to you. In the shed, they give you free flights to Miami, but there's a catch: they're on Frontier. Yeah, just walk. Yeah, we get it Diamondback. Hardwoods. Make Michigan our Bichigan. I'm not sure what a Bichigan is but it sounds like painful butt stuff...and not the fun kind. Really good pull on this drop in the back row! Only Kumba can do Kumba. Stop. Give The Bat love! You know you'll all be complaining when they go and pull a Universal...too soon? I forgot what this is called...you go down a ramp then go straight for like 8,000 feet of track. But OMG guys New Texas Giant is WAY too long! Complain below You've seen all the tower photo porn of Diamondback and Banshee...but have you seen TOWER PHOTOS OF BACKLOT ITALIAN STUNT JOB COASTER?! You're welcome! "Hey, is this a good time to discuss our new Intamin cables we got this season?" Why can't a lot of other looping coaster drops be as good as Arrow looper drops? Or is it just an illusion because you're already terrified about how much you're about to suffer? One cool thing they did early in the season was they did a passholder preview thing for their Halloween maze, Blackout. We were there on the first passholder preview and I think they were still working on it, because we basically just walked around in the dark the entire time, but we did get some good scares! What happens when a couple of coaster gays try and make a "beast claw" onride photo? My arms come out looking more muscular than they actually are. Aww, I take it back, now I kind of like The Beast.

When I was a kid and would visit Orlando and therefore IOA on vacation, I always loved The Lost Continent and always thought that the original theming created by Universal for this area totally killed the over-marketed other lands of IOA. The little tiny spot that's left honestly still looks arguably better than anywhere else in the entire resort. Some friends and I will be among the hopefully-many people going tomorrow to pay a last tribute to these amazing coasters. Everyone that can, should.

Wow, I knew it was down this year but I didn't realize that they'd closed it in July of last year. I got really freaking lucky then, I rode it just a month earlier. I was super confused when I got off of it, because I prepared myself for another El Toro and was not at all prepared for how hellishly painful the ride was. Or maybe I was confused by how far my brain stem had just been pushed nearly out the top of my head. I was also extremely shocked and confused by how badly run the park was, especially since it came at the end of a trip where I visited several other German and French parks, so you can imagine how obvious and glaring the contrast was going from a Plopsa Park to a this one. More than half the food eateries were closed and I typically eat pretty healthy, so fried-to-death American-style park food doesn't sit well with me, and that was all they had to offer. Everything was staggered opening with one train, even Krake. I have no idea what the park or the company's financial situation is, but the fact that the article posted says they have to "go to the investors" (paraphrasing) or whatever, sounds to me like they really run the park on a minimal budget, which never makes sense to me. It causes such a downward spiral. Please fix this, Merlin and Heide. Even while I was being savagely beaten, I could still tell it was El Toro good. Thank you, sir, now may I please have another ride?