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And now for Tivoli Gardens proper! This is probably the park that I was most looking forward to before the trip, and while it didn't end up being my favorite, it still has quite a lot to offer. 07: The Flying Trunk Of course we'd already walked around, took photos, and sampled some of the food here while staying across the street these last few days--but now we're actually going to ride stuff! It's a hotel. Disney really did get all their ideas from this place! (Actually, whilst the building itself is quite old, it's only been a hotel for like 20 years.) This park is absolutely charming and wonderful. But...there's only like 2 good rides (in my estimation). And this is one of them. Rutschebanen. Okay, remember the seemingly-pointless story about my internet-friend who did a recreation of BobBon-Land in OpenRCT2? Well, that's him. He's the brakeman. So now we're real friends. WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT Behind the scenes tour. Because, you know, TPR. Also, nudity. Because, you know, TPR. Obviously, with the brakeman controlling the speed, there will be some variation from ride to ride. None of my rides were extreme or anything, but it's smooth, there was some airtime and laterals, and the brakemen really put on a show. Super fun and reridable. (Yeah, I know "reridable" isn't actually a word. But maybe it will be someday.) This certainly feels like the oldest section of the park, so I'll just assume that it is. The Fun House Unlike most other fun houses I've been in, this is not a continuous path with gags along it, but more an open space where you can choose what to explore. Which, to be honest, I didn't like as much. Still, as an American, any fun house is a good fun house (because we really don't have them). Hey, it's me! The middle one, with the ice cream cones and the similar screen name. ICE CREAM CONES (you hush) Hey, it's also me. Except on a Ferris wheel. And for some reason without an ice cream cone. So, a rare photo indeed. Minen, Rutschebanen, the fun house, and a bunch of other little things, all occupy the same "building." Which very much pleases me. Minen is an old mill type ride with a small drop and a weird switch-track that just turns you a little bit (in a way that could have been just as easily achieved with a turn). It's also equipped with very noisy flashlight guns that you use to annoy me. Er...I mean, that you use to shoot at randomly-placed static reflectors. This is cool, though. We really don't need the shooting part. Get off my lawn. This is a Smisty and Bert ride. Powered coaster on your right, restaurant on your left. Guess what the next photo will be. If you want your pizzas cut, ask for our "pizzaslicer" Bert was otherwise engaged. Photo by AJ, I'm pretty sure. But don't worry, I found something else to do. Note my pocket napkin technique. This ain't my first ice rodeo. Cute kids ride that I never saw running. Smisty likes spinning. I like ice cream. We both like candy stores. Flyvende Kuffert is the other great ride at Tivoli Gardens. Shown here prior to park open. (Because, you know, TPR.) What is this, a toilet? That would be a great joke if I'd put these photos in a different order.) Anyway, that previous photo was just the facade. The ride itself is mostly underground. Yes, it's a whirlwind tour of Hans Christian Andersen's most famous stories! Complete with narration in either Danish or English (your choice). AJ giving the international signal for "couldn't they have at least put a cover over the hole?" A truly unique and wonderful dark ride! Daemonen is the park's other full-size coaster. And while the layout is compact and interesting, the ride itself didn't really do much for me. I'm not usually a big demand-er of consistency. Different rides are designed differently and that means that what might work at one ride won't necessarily work at another. No sense trying to make one set of rules that everything has to fit into. That, in my opinion, ultimately just ends up making operations less safe. Having said that, it was quite jarring to go from Rutschebanen, where guests can jump on and off moving trains, to Deamoeneaon, where you can't even wear glasses with a strap. Daeameaoneaonea's exit path is barely even in the park. Few survive eating this burger? Is it on the other side of Chuck Norris Avenue? A small but charming car ride. Everyone was excited about the two outward facing vehicles, but I had never been on a condor-type ride at all, so even just the regular cars were interesting to me. I love the ladder. Tivoli is oddly laid out--at least as an amusement park--as there are large areas that don't contain rides at all. But I don't know why I'm mentioning that here, because there's clearly a ride in this photo. Misty, you're going the wrong way. Humans to the left. Tivoli also has a small aquarium. That's maybe mostly exists as a waiting area for a show venue...? A kids area, and behind that, a building with offices (I think) and a haunted walk-through. A statue of Reed Copenhagen, founder of Denmark. Wait, does that say, "Cakenhagen"? It does indeed. This park may only have two good rides, but it does also have some pretty good food options. Most bathrooms in this park--and in Copenhagen--and in Denmark--are in the basement. In fact, it was so common that I just started saying that I had to go to the basement whenever nature called. Yeah, I really should've put this photo before that earlier one. That is a sad clown. Tivoli was good. Maybe not quite great, but good. Erik's score: 8 I'm too lazy to explain the scale again. If you love this park, then just pretend it's on a scale of 1 to 8. And, I guess if you hate the place, assume it's on a scale of 1 to 100. Crap, it would've been way less typing to just tell you what my scale actually is. That's it, I'm

Preferred parking is right by the entrance at SFSTL. I just wondered how you get the paper to get you in. Thanks.

Great update, Erik! My impression was that the aquarium was special-event space masquerading as an attraction. I like Tivoli a lot, and I agree that it's more of a "hang out" park than a "ride" park--which is fine.

I don't understand how Mexican food is so difficult for the Europeans to understand? But it does lead to some very amusing attempts!

What's this? An actual theme park update?! Indeed so! 06: Authentic Taco Toast That TPR bus life. But to where...?! This isn't really much of a cliffhanger, if you're reading Chuck or Bert's trip reports. Or read my first update where I literally spoil everything. Turns out you have to be a superhero to visit BonBon Land. But that's okay because I can talk to animals. I'm also extremely lactose-tolerant. Fun story. No, wait, what's that other thing? Tedious. Tedious Story. I was somewhat more familiar with this park's layout and history because my internet-friend JazzAnden recreated it on the DKMP OpenRCT2 discord server as park of a timeline park "contest." (I was also part of that contest, though my park was entirely made up, and also not as good.) I am telling you this for a reason, though the payoff won't be until the next update, at which point you'll probably have forgotten. This park is very normal. Founded on/with/because of a candy factory in much the same way Knott's was built around a berry farm or Plopsaland De Panne was founded on honey--except that this candy is gross. Or at least it's themed that way. I've never actually had it. I did buy a bag, and brought it home--but strictly for display. Smisty found her jam. And I found mine. I am among my people. Although, my people are apparently very weird. I'm all for a themed log flume--even if that theme is cheese-making sewer rats--but this one had some rough, clunky transitions (not unlike Diamond River at Legendia). *sigh* ... the dogfart coaster There's a bit of this sort of thing. I think this is supposed to be an albatross. But, thanks to Bert, all I can see now is "transvestite chicken." Have you ever wanted to say that you've ridden the very first Eurofighter? I didn't. On the other hand, this spinning coaster was quite good. With the highlight being that bunny hill on the right, which offered a nice pop of airtime whilst the car was spinning. Smisty and I were able to get a car to ourselves, and sit together, early in the day. (And, baby, you don't know what "imbalanced" is until you've ridden with me!) Oh, Henry. You are one gastrointestinally-distressed doggo. Is this the world's longest coaster train? Let's not do any research and just say that it is. Speaking of gastrointestinally-distressed, it was time for a group lunch at gross-candy-themed Danish theme park Mexican buffet. I'm sorry, "Mexican" should really have quotes around it there. If you're worried that this might prove to be too spicy, a.) don't, and b.) congratulations, you are Danish. I was trying to figure out what the turtle's problem was, and then I realized he was skewered on a spinning pole and had chair swings attached to the bottom of his shell. BonBon Land doesn't have a proper dark ride, but they do have an outdoor boat ride with scenery. Which is the next best thing in my book. It's fun how the unload station is just "get out during the ride and then walk into the actual station even though the boat is moving and you're just impatient but no one will be mad at you because you're in Europe so that's fine." And also there's only one ride op and who even knows if there are rules? Just, the best photo ever. My finest work. Hundreds of young people are gathering for the latest craze An acid house party in a disused warehouse This child thinks his hands are guns. Because he's stupid. Super hidden rapids ride. Which is also smelly according to that goat. But I rode it and it was fine. And not even particularly wet (though there is of course an element of randomness). The theme is beavers. But just kind of regular beavers, not gross candy ones. Newer stuff really does not embrace the whole gross mascots thing. Which is sad, but also...yeah. Listen. y'all, I live in Cowboy Town. *salutes in American* Not a dark ride. Dark. And shooty. But not a ride. Just a room with guns. So, like, America. That skeleton has eyes but no skin. Also, where did that other one get their shirt? Because it looks like it's really held up in a way that mine never do. Also, is he a prisoner, or...? Fun story: When I was a kid, I thought if someone got prison time of "life plus [x number of] years" that they just left them in jail for that long after they died. I also thought all dogs were male and all cats were female. This all really explains a lot, huh? I should shut up. Let's get the hell out of here, Hankatten. On a scale of 0-10, with 0 being a park I have no desire to return to in its current state, and 10 being one of my 10 favorite parks, I give BonBon Land a 3. Which is probably not as bad as it sounds, but yeah this park was just okay.