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Busch Gardens Tampa

 

I know some people got offended by me calling this a ghetto park, but in comparison to everything else in Florida, IT IS TOTALLY GHETTO. It's the Knott's of Florida. Sort of crappy operations, lackluster employees, weird policies, icky. I also hated the fact that every ride made you put stuff in the lockers. This is an acceptable policy when its set up like Universal, where you don't have to pay for the first hour or so. BGT makes you cough up 50 cents everytime. Pretty retarded.

 

Gwazi: One side of Gwazi was in disrepair, so I only rode the one side that was open. I don't care enough to come back and try to get the other side. Gwazi had piss poor operations. They check your seatbelts, and then come back and check your lap bars? WHY?!!?! I guess it would be excusable if the ride was good. But it isn't. It's actually quite terrible. The ride itself nearly vibrated me to death. It did shake a ton of crap out of my lungs, but I'd rather not be jackhammered like a cheap whore. Not fun at all. Worst coaster of the trip.

 

Sheikra/Shakira: Sheikra is awesome, because it has THE YAY. Sheikra was running three trains, dispatching pretty fast, and the line was short all day. And needless to say, Shakira is a really great coaster. This was the first coaster in years I was actually nervous to ride. The hold over the drop was freaky, but the actual drops were surprisingly smooth and enjoyable. The airtime is also totally fantastic. But my absolute favorite part was the immelmen, which I nicknamed "The Yay". The Yay is awesome because of the crazy slow rotation the top, and the pop of air you get, which basically forces you to yell out "Yaaaaaaaay!". Dear god, why can't all immelmans produce the Yay effect. The Yay is the best inversion ever. The second vertical drop and water section were also really great. What an awesome ride!

 

Kumba: I was really looking forward to Kumba, based on all of the positive reviews it gets on here and other sites. Sadly, Kumba did not live up to my expectations. The ride was a bit on the rough side. It sorta had that same vibrate-y thing Scream has. I did like the zero-g into the dip under the bridge and the final helix, but for some reason, I simply did not like the rest of the ride. I rode it again and liked it a little better, but I was still underwhelmed by it. It's an okay ride, but I like Hulk better.

 

Montu After being dissapointed by Kumba, I lowered my excitement for Montu. Luckily, Montu turned out to be quite a bit better than I was expecting, despite the hard trims. The diving in and out of the trenches was very unique, and really enhanced the ride quite a bit. Batwings are way better than cobra rolls too. Mmmmm....batwings.

 

Python Arrow suckage.

 

Scorpion An awesome Anton with lapbars. The ride packs quite a punch for being so relatively tiny. Very fun.

 

Some Random BGT Song & Dance Show: It was just funny because they basically did all the same songs from the Beetlejuice show at USF. No more "Livin' La Vida Loca" EVER, por favor.

 

The Tampa Burger King AKA THE BEST BURGER KING EVER OMG OMG So we all stopped to get some food at the local BK. We decided to go inside and order. This turned out to be the best and worst decision ever.

The guy working at the counter was a nice guy, but he could not get any of our orders correctly. Dan ordered a double cheeseburger, this dude didn't even put it on the order. KC ordered a fish sandwich, which we later learned they were completely out of.

Then there was the crazy manager. She was completely bitching out all the employees, verbally assaulting them to get the orders correct. Huge arguments were sprouting up, as we all just stared, completely amazed.

And then there was "Shaniqua". That's not her real name, but it should be. Shaniqua is the epitome of crazy. She had a huge permed mullet, tattoos all over her body, gold grillz in her teeth. She was picking fries out of the fryer to eat, and kept trying to correct the employee at the counter's mistakes...but never actually did any work because she "was off the clock".

Basically, every order except mine was screwed up in some way. We sat down to eat, only to hear an even bigger argument erupt from the kitchen. At this point, Dan and I started cracking up. We couldn't even look at each other because it was so ridiculous.

The food was mediocre, but the experience was pretty much the absolute funniest thing on the trip. I felt like I paid for the entertainment, the food was just an extra. I know my description doesn't make it seem as incredibly amusing as it actually was, but you just had to be there.

 

 

It's a ghetto version of IoA's Port Of Entry.

 

Oh hells yes.

 

DON'T LOOK DOWN.

 

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LOOK DOWN? Geez.

 

THE YAY!!!

 

Kneel before Yay.

 

Two seconds after taking this photo, I ran like hell to avoid getting drenched.

 

I think Knott's needs to build one of these.

 

Not the Yay.

 

Despite its similar color scheme, do not confuse Scorpion with the Yay.

 

Kumba sure looks pretty, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

 

The best part of the ride.

 

The other best part of the ride.

 

TPR EXCLUSIVE SIGNATURE SHOT!!! I bet you've NEVER seen this shot before!!

 

Montu: It's no Fire Dragon, but it's also no Silver Bullet.

 

Sadly, this immelman produced no Yay.

 

No wonder Budweiser tastes like crap! (hehe, sorry Wally )

 

I AM A BIRD WEARING A BEANIE. I MAKE NO SOUND.

 

Sheikra and the Yay in all its glory.

 

Pure magic.

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