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Photo TR: Knott's Berry Farm


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The California lifestyle asks so much more of a person. Dealing with traffic, dirty air, not a Jimmy John's sandwich in sight, we need a little break fro the daily grind. We decided to get our peace through-

"Holy $#@! is that a &@#!ing chicken?!"

 

Wow... those chickens are totally roaming around free. Psst, chicken! Imma eat you!

 

Knott's sure has changed in the last few years since I've been here.

 

(awkward noises) "I'm having... fun."

 

Is this backside of water older than Disney's?

 

 

Then, I saw a squirrel.

It was doin' like this!

 

Hmm, here's a coaster, just because I can.

 

Stupid Xcelerator was stupid closed. Stupid.

 

Over at Boomerang, we have to sit in the tall person seat.

It didn't help much.

 

Screamin' swing with no line! Alri-

Oh...

 

You've never known fear until you've ridden the Calico Mine train.

I was terrified of this thing as a kid, and riding it today was no different. It's dark, cramped, and the "animatronics" look as though they are souls trapped in these dummies and their only view out into the world is through these expressionless eyes....

 

(shudder)

 

Please, no! It's not my time!

 

Jesus, what's with Knotts and creepy figures?!

 

Clever name. Sounds exciting.

 

Wow, the one in the middle looks really good!

Am I wrong, or was it once possible to go into these?

 

No. NO! I thought I left you back in Illinois! AHHH!

 

 

Just seeing Wolfman, I thought this coaster was a fitting experience.

 

Time for some home cookin'

from a theme park! Mmmmmm!

 

Walter Knott, fifty years ago, set a giant water balloon to explode on this very day.

The More You Know.

Oh, never mind. It's just a ride that has too much wetness.

 

Tiny trees!

 

 

How long has this BEEN here?

 

Knotts was a lot of fun. I really enjoy the atmosphere here, as opposed to Magic Mountain (but SFMM wins with coasters).

Hell, I think I may stay here forever.

 

I have to...

My car died in the parking lot.

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