National Hard Crab Derby

[printersdevil78]

While millions of people throughout the United States spent Labor Day weekend at the beach (or whatever it is people who don't live near beaches do on Labor Day weekend), I returned to my hometown of Crisfield, Maryland, as I do every year, for the biggest and best celebration of the entire year: the 61st annual National Hard Crab Derby.

 

For those who are unfamiliar (which I presume would be most of you), the National Hard Crab Derby is an annual festival and town-wide homecoming centering on a 400-crab race. Don't worry if that doesn't make much sense yet; the pictures tell the story.

 

So here they are.

Step 6: The three winners of each heat are placed into this basket and re-released during the final heat. The crab that wins that heat wins the derby, and its sponsor receives a genuine plastic gold trophy. The losing crabs are enjoyed later that evening alongside heaping helpings of Old Bay and vinegar at the American Legion hall.

 

TPR readers of a certain age (I'm looking at you, Jeff Johnson) may recall the Crab Derby from The Mike Douglas Show, on which it was featured several times in the 1970s. More recently, the derby has been shown on the Travel Channel, Food Network and "The Late Show" with David Letterman. A crew from the Discovery Channel was on hand this year.

 

Other annual events, for which I was not/will not be present, include crab picking and cooking contests, jug boat races, an arm wrestling contest, a 10K race, a youth swim meet, a Sunday morning religious service, a boat docking contest, fireworks and plenty of live music, including a Journey cover band this year.

 

Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into the biggest and best celebration Crisfield has to offer.

Step 5.1: Each crab is hand-numbered in advance so they know who sponsored the three winners from each race when they reach the bottom of the track.

Step 5: The first three crabs to reach the bottom of the track are the winners.

Step 4: Following a countdown from Miss, Little Miss or Little Mr. Crustacean, a Crisfield Police officer fires a starting pistol and the starting gates are opened.

Step 3: The Crisfield Volunteer Fire Department also sprays down the audience. Because Crab Derby is always held on the hottest weekend of the year. And it's cheaper than putting an awning over the grandstands.

Step 2: The Crisfield Volunteer Fire Department sprays down the specially made track (called Crab Cake Track) to make sure the surface is slick enough for this year's racing crustaceans (for those who didn't look up what "crustacean" meant earlier in the TR, now you know).

The first race run each year is the annual Governor's Cup. Each state sponsors a crab, and the winning state gets a plaque. TPR readers from Arkansas, rejoice! Your crab won this year!

 

From there, it's on to the real crab races, run in nine heats. Step 1: American Legion members line the crabs up at the starting gate.

Some people are REALLY into this.

OK, time for the main event. This board represents the 400 people who got up at the crack of dawn and stood in line to pay $4 to sponsor and name a crab to compete in the big crab race. Crabs are provided by the local American Legion, which uses the event as a fundraiser.

This ride looks merry. And it goes 'round.

Scat. Tee hee hee.

What's green and white and less painful all over?

What's green and white and painful all over?

They had a few kiddie flats.

OK, pop quiz: Where have you seen this before? I'll give you a hint: It's at the very top left of this page. At night.

They call this a "fun house." I can think of at least two things wrong with that nomenclature.

Spin the Apple and Berry-Go-Round... two rides in one!

This would be the "bonus credit" mentioned in the headline.

Super slide.

Bumper cars.

Behold: the Scrambler.

Just kidding. I know the section you've been waiting for is... the carnival! (I hesitate to call this a "ghetto fair" because it's about 10,000 times classier than the carnival we used to get.)

Now for the section you've all been waiting for... the annual Crisfield Lions Club car raffle!

Did I mention the festival was all about crabs?

The Ocean City, Maryland, Pipe Band lent a Scottish flair to the event.

This was the Crisfield Area Chamber of Commerce's entry, featuring the world's largest crab pot (a big wire cage used to catch crabs) and contestants from this year's Little Miss and Mr. Crustacean pageant.

World's oldest majorettes.

As did Miss and Little Miss Mt. Vernon Volunteer Fire Department, in the department's fire boat.

Local drag racing celebrity Sterling Clough made an appearance.

Frederick, Maryland, Independent Hose Co. No. 1 and its 1800s horse-drawn hose truck has been a staple of the parade for 51 of its 59 years (the parade didn't begin until 1950, two years after the first National Hard Crab Derby in 1948).

And the Shriners.

Followed by the Tall Clowns.

We've now come to the clown portion of this TR. Leading the way: Biscuit the Clown.

Yes, the local beauty queen's title is "Miss Crustacean." Those who know what "crustacean" means will find that hilarious. Those who don't will look it up.

The Crisfield High School Marching Band was out in full force. I hesitate to publicly admit how long it's been since I was a member....

This was one of several boats participating in the annual Crab Derby skiff races. Unfortunately, I didn't make it down to the docks in time to see them, but it's always a great contest. All boats that enter are reproductions of a locally designed 1922 crabbing skiff used by many watermen on the Chesapeake Bay into the early 1950s.

The local fire department led the parade.

This year's grand marshal was I.T. Todd, owner of MeTompkin Bay Oyster Co. and the town's last surviving link to its seafood packing dynasty of the first half of the 20th century.

Here's the back half of the float in action during the parade. Note the confetti.

These used to be the knights.

So you're probably wondering why the fort looks like a castle. Well, when production originally started, the idea was to have the pirate ship attacking a castle with knights. Then someone realized that pirates and the Renaissance... yeah, two entirely different time periods. But by then the castle was built, so they just pretended it was a fort.

They named the ship after the prison's warden.

The wheelhouse and bubble machine. Though why exactly they needed a bubble machine on a pirate ship is beyond me.

Arrrr!

A pair of eyes (each pair slightly different) peered out from the gun ports. And the homemade cannons actually fired confetti! Though I'm not 100 percent sure teaching inmates how to make cannons of any kind is actually a good thing....

Even the worms on the ends of the fishing hooks had their own personalities.

The detail they put into each float is amazing. Then again, it's not like they have much else to do....

The mouth of the dragon masthead opened, closed and blew smoke.

This year's inmate float theme was a pirate ship attacking a fort. It went down the parade route with "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for Me" blaring from the speakers.

Those who have read some of my past "Random, Random, Random" TRs may remember that the largest employer in my home county is the local state prison and that several years ago my father (who works there) founded what is believed to be the only inmate rehabilitation program in the United States centering on parade float design and construction (a display of their past works was exhibited at the National Parade Float Hall of Fame earlier this year). I got up early Saturday morning to document the on-site assembly of their entry in this year's Crab Derby Main Street Parade.

This being a Crab Derby (the town itself is known as the "Seafood Capital of the World"), crabs were pretty much everywhere.

That's better! Or... maybe not.

Why so serious?

For those who went with us on the Behemoth/Flyer trip, no, this isn't metric skee-ball.

Hey Tyler, does this look familiar?

I found the Big Mike game!

Anyone who leans is fed to the orange snake dragon.

Giant cross-eyed frog... not so much.

I contemplated actually plunking down $3 to try to win this game. Seriously, can you imagine what a faux tiger-skin rug in my apartment would do for my lovelife?

I took pictures of the rides all lit up last year, so this year I moved on to the games. (Don't worry; ride photos are further down.)

The "big show" of the evening was Crisfield Idol... which is exactly what it sounds like: bad small-town karaoke on a big small-town scale.

The bacon-cheddar-ranch curly fries were awesome! There was about an inch of pure grease left in the bottom of the plate when they were all gone. My arteries may no longer work, but it was totally worth it!

This is what the Maryland crab melt pita looks like. Er, what half of one looks like. And while we're being totally honest, this is what the second half of my sister's looks like, as I forgot to take a picture of mine before I ate it.

First stop: food!

Here are your 2008 National Hard Crab Derby admission rates as of Friday night.

[TheRapidsNerd]

It's always interesting to see these local festivals and Jaycee's type events. They can be a lot of fun if you give them a try.

 

Thanks for putting this one up, as it brought back some good memories from the Boggy Bayou Mullet Festival in Florida. (That's the fish, not the hair.)

 

Sorry, but I couldn't resist.....

Caaandy gram.

[printersdevil78]

Thanks, Michael. The Boggy Bayou Mullet Festival sounds like it would be right up my alley!