PTR- Six Flags America May 8th, 2010

[B-RadG]

Better late than never, I assume.

I went with a friend of mine to SFA last Saturday and it was a much nicer park than I was expecting. I'd heard that it was the armpit of Six Flags and it really was nice. The park was totally clean, the landscaping was decent, and the staff (with the exception of Batwing's crew) was helpful and friendly.

Superman: Ride of Steel (9/10)- I was REALLY blown away. My first ride was in the very back row, which was much rougher than any Arrow could wish to be and had minimal airtime. After that all the other rides were in the front, and it was amazing. There was ejector airtime over every hill, tears were yanked from the corners of my eyes, and it gave that "OMG I'M GOING FAST KSLDJFDSOIFDS!" feeling.

Wild One (8/10)- Another BIG shocker. I hadn't really paid much attention to what people said other than the unbanked helix. My friend was weary about riding in the back of a 93-year-old wooden coaster but agreed to. Holy FART. It was absolutely insane. There was ejector airtime that kicks the booty of any modern wooden coaster, or steel coaster for that matter. Absolutely epic.

Joker's Jinx (8/10)- I was expecting it to be better than Flight of Fear but not as much as it was. I figured a few mph faster and no MCBR wouldn't make too much of a difference but it really did. It was much more forceful than FoF and it was a lot smoother. I love the quick transitions and Corkscrew. Just plain win.

Roar (5/10)- Bleh. Really really aggressive for a GCI. I didn't much enjoy it because it was so rough, and I could tell certain spots were REALLY designed for Millennium Fliers, not clumsy PTCs.

Mind Eraser (5/10)- My first ride was hell on Dutch wheels. The restraint was too small for my big head and my ears were folded back the entire ride, coupled with the constant slamming of the head... led to some unholy words. My second ride was much better, the restraint somehow had more headroom, and didn't hurt thanks to the padding. Awesome layout, not easy to pay attention to thanks to the damn headbanging.

Batwing (3/10)- HOW CAN SOMETHING SO SLOW SUCK SO BADLY?! Seriously it has the worst pacing of any coaster I've been on. Some parts had some speed but for the most part it farted around, had no force, and really hurt my back. Fail fail fail, Vekoma. Put some freaking padding on your seats.

Great Chase (1/10)- I didn't think it got much worse than Hypersonic... I was wrong apparently. Poor little kiddies all like "OMFG I'M SO HARD I'M RIDING A ROLLARCOASTER LOL!" then they get raped by crack-smoking Italians.

Skull Mountain was really good for a log flume, Tower of Doom is lame by comparison to Drop Tower.

 

Ride count-

Superman 5x

Joker's Jinx 4x

Wild One 3x

Batwing 2x

Mind Eraser 2x

Roar 2x

Great Chase 1x

Tower of Doom 1x

Skull Mountain 1x

 

Now for everyone's favorite part! PICTURES!

 

Oh Batwing... why couldn't you be a Boomerang... or something that doesn't suck.

 

Superman's epic lift. Well... it's not that epic. But it's epic cause Jessi and I are in the picture in the very front.

 

Jessi and I in the very front again. Stupid strong trim.

 

Mind Eraser just had this "I'm so sweet and fun and innocent" look about it.

 

"OH DAMN! I FORGOT MY INVISIBILITY CLOAK! I SO DON'T BLEND IN!"

 

Nerds rejoice! Another one of my famous creeping-on-the-op shots!

 

I get so many weird looks. I don't know whether it's because I take nerdy pictures or I stick my tongue out at the people that give me weird looks. Both?

 

This is kinda like an attractive, but very well ridden, hooker. It looks so sexy but it's just not fun once you're experiencing it.

 

See? I mean it's like... so sexy. But so not sexy on the head.

 

Vekoma brakes go HISS.

 

Yes Vekoma, it's a simple turn. Not some elaborate element. Can ya try a little harder? Or get smarter apes?

 

Thank GOD. I don't think I would approve of Mind Eraser lasting for hours.

 

Ehh... it's insanely windy and in the 60s. You think I'm getting near that? Then gimme some of what you're smoking.

 

Suck on that, El Toro. Yeah that's right. Wild One hasn't been attacked by Stride, either.

 

For some reason it was hilarious to me to watch the cars in front of me shuffle during the turn. It's like... funny.

 

"MY! WHAT NICE... SHOES YOU HAVE!"

 

Cloaking device or train in the station? It's up to you to email Dan (mrt0ad13@aol.com) to guess!

 

Not only do I look stupid, but I love hugging inanimate objects. In the words of that woman who married 1001 Nacht, "YOU SMELL GOOD!"

 

"Oh, you mean this is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAJoker's JinxHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, not Joker's Jinx? Bummer."

 

I see you over there, you senile old thing, you!

 

You know you want some of that Cobra Roll.

 

OH MY GOD IT'S THE RINGS!! SOMEONE TELL UNIVERSAL THAT SIX FLAGS HAS THEIR RINGS!!!

 

So yeah... this turn right here... serious Gs man!

 

Anyone know how to demagnetize stuff without getting caught? Yeah you should totally go demagnetize these. Or turn them into LIMs. Either would be lovely.

 

Station: BOX OF STEEL!

 

Hey... your sprocket is showing!

 

Now I understand why you're in the back corner you satanic little bwitch.

 

Freakin' lazy European immigrant train can't do any work...

 

Ooooooh... airtime *drools*

 

Hmm... one train operation and a crew that was raised by sloths? I'm so excited.

 

Being on your back makes you want to punch the guy that chooses how much padding goes on Vekoma's trains in the face.

 

Like Mind Eraser... Batwing is one of those hawt old hookers.

 

Oooh... so many buttons. I wonder if you pushed all of them at the same time would the ride explode? Cause I'd give the op that tried it sooo much money.

 

"Inlockers"? What the hell is that?

 

The coaster gods like you, little Premier.

 

Rare shot. Seriously. It's rare cause the train ISN'T stuck on the lift in this picture.

 

Tower of Feet-be-severed! Not really. I still have both feet. But Jessi on the other hand... muahahahaha. Well... she still has both, too. So what NOW?!

 

This is just indescribable. It's so smooth, but such poor design.

 

If blacking out from lateral Gs was possible, this would do it.

 

Get outta here, Falling Star! Nobody likes you.

 

ROAAAAAAR! That's the sound I made out of anger when I found out it was from GCI and rough.

 

I just can't resist the sexiness of the Intamin. Even though I'm standing far away. Nobody can. Bow down, fools!

 

In line for Mind Eraser. A long line at that. I think a combination of Arrows and running into stuff gives me short-term memory loss.

 

Oooh look, a mirror! Shiny! I LIKE SHINY!

 

Yep I sure do have short-term memory loss. It was all cold. Sexy dead hooker?

 

Dutch steel tastes awful. And is not very good at kissing. It just kinda sits there, makes ya feel unloved, ya know?

 

INTAMIN!

 

Super sexy airtime hills.

 

Well at least the man telling you what to do has had happiness drawn onto him.

 

And I leave you with the best picture and caption of the day...

 

"GOOD GOLLY GOLDFISH I'VE SOILED MYSELF!!!!"

[CardCraze]

Nice TR.

 

Gosh, Batwing isn't the greatest coaster, nor a very good coaster at that, but I thought it was okay.