Olsor Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Last Sunday, I woke up at some point well before the sun crested the horizon and headed for the airport. I arrived in Pittsburgh around 2:00 in the afternoon, then headed northwest in my crappy rental Suzuki toward Cedar Point, which would be the first stop on my five-park tour of the Rust Belt. Bullet-point summary: - Cedar Point is still ridiculously crowded. - The Big Three (Maverick, Millennium Force, Dragster) all experienced downtime while I was at the park... but I did get a rollback on Maverick, which was cool. - There is little to no enforcement of the smoking policy. - Hotel Breakers is an overpriced dump. - Early Entry is a joke (10 minutes wasted walking to rides that may not even be open). - This park needs some sort of fast pass system desperately. On to the pictures! Oh, God, no! No, I do not want to play forever and ever and ever! More to come later. As I was walking back to my room at Hotel Breakers, a chill went down my spine. Goodnight, Cedar Point, you horribly crowded park of many coasters and trash cans. You want more of that? Here you go. Hot, dropping action. Know how many pictures I had to take before the first car wasn't cut out of the frame? Three. Timing--I has it. That's a whole mess of track right there. Raptor. Still pretty. Still not as smooth as when I first rode it in 1998. For those about to get trimmed to death, we salute you. Oooh, baby. Make that lagoon turn! That's better. Hmm... something's missing. Maverick, doing its thang. Hot coaster porn. See? Gemini was actually racing while I was at the park. The downward spiral. Still a fun ride. But what is up with that weird left-to-right action during the launch? That nearly made me loosen my sphincter mid-ride. The last of the Mohicans. Raptor dropping and seagull droppings. Flying saucer? Nobody has EVER taken this picture before. Ever. Two thrills, one shot. I love pictures I don't have to Photoshop. Fortunately, this picture can't communicate to you how bad it smelled by the lagoon. Now let's make that picture 75% more dramatic! Maverick's sexy curves.
Olsor Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Next up, Waldameer and Darien Lake. Here come the bullet points: Waldameer - It's the anti-Cedar Point, and that's a good thing. - I'm pretty sure the only smoking policy at the park was that everyone should smoke as many cigarettes as possible. - The park was bustling on a Tuesday afternoon. Darien Lake - Reminded me of Six Flags America. That is not a compliment. - I enjoyed the older employees with odd accents. The main ride op for Viper looked and sounded like Blue from Old School. My boy Blue! - I'm pretty sure I was in front of some Canadians in line for the OCC Motocoaster. Every sentence ended with an "eh?" regardless of whether the sentence was interrogative or demonstrative. - Pretty much every ride in the park broke down at some point. Superman... sorry, Ride of Steel and Predator both broke down because they wouldn't release passengers from their clutches back at the station. Less chat, more pictures. Worst. SLC. Ever? The ride op should've just punched me in the sack, hit me over the head with a 2 X 4, and saved me about 15 minutes of my life. Still more to come! If the spot isn't already filled, can I be the corkscrew guy? You know... people can post trip reports and include cliched pictures of corkscrews and say, "Hi Olsor!" Derek, loop. Loop, Derek. Oh, you two already know each other. I see. Or this one. Ahem... no one has EVER taken this picture before. Dramatic Skycoaster! Pretty much every picture of Predator is now an epic fail if it doesn't include boob clutching. I humbly submit my epic fail picture. Was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. It was only the fifth worst coaster I've ever been on. I had it pegged for #1. You sick freaks... As seen on TV. Paul Sr. says, "Ride the friggin' ride already! And buy some OCC merchandise in the gift shop." Here's some lift-hill porn for you sick fetishists. Jerry Garcia is alive, and he loves airtime. And weed. Lots of sweet, sweet cheeba. Steel Dragon (no, not that one) had to be one of my favorite rides of the whole trip. Except for the ball-punching on the block brakes. That was just cruel. Screamer on the left, rag-doll Mennonites on the right. Fun and deceptively tall ride with an abrupt stop. The view of Lake Erie is a nice touch. If this were RCT, your excitement rating would increase by a whole point. Ravine Flyer II. My first ride was OK. My second was meh. But my third ride was awesome. I could've done without the lateral chest-punching, though.
Spideyfreak Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Worst. SLC. Ever? The ride op should've just punched me in the sack, hit me over the head with a 2 X 4, and saved me about 15 minutes of my life. Still more to come! World's best and most accurate description of an SLC! Great Pics!
Luka Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Great pictures so far. First off, I didn't know mantis was a stand up coaster, then, a few weeks later I heard that it was. Finally I actually see some close up clear pictures of the people standing on it, thanks!
Rousfv Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 One more TR with very great pictures, i enjoyed to see them.
Olsor Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 Day 4: Kennywood - Sometimes authentic-retro comes across as janky instead of charming. Yeah, I'm a purist, but I'm honest, too. - Phantom's Revenge was fun, but I was kind of let down by "the big drop." Still, it has the best bunny-hill airtime of any Morgan, or any Morgan/Arrow hybrid, for that matter. - Thunderbolt was running terribly. It felt Vekoma-ish. - Jack Rabbit was OK. I felt the double-down on Phantom was better. - The Racer was very fun. +1 for Mobius-ness. - Exterminator was insane. If Six Flags had gone with that model instead of the regular Mack mouse, you probably wouldn't hear many complaints. I'm pretty sure my face hit the side of the car at some point. That's bad ass. - The fried Oreos were like warm chocolate chip cookies wrapped in a beignet. Don't know what a beignet is? You haven't lived yet. Day 5: Hersheypark and TPR I just visited Hersheypark back in early June, so I don't have too much to add. ERT on Fahrenheit and Storm Runner was excellent. Fahrenheit actually went up a little in my rankings, and Storm Runner went down a little. Matt (Spideyfreak) and I credit whored on Wild Mouse and Roller Soaker, and it's always nice to have a partner when whoring. And I want to say hey to all the great people I met on Friday: Matt, Dave, Eli, & Kerry, Mike Austin (a.k.a. Wank), Dominic (SixFlagsBoy), and Joe from GCI. It was great to meet such a cool group of people, and I hope our paths cross again sometime. MOAR PIKSHURS! Joe and I give this trip report four awkward thumbs up. Thanks for reading, everyone! The view from TPR Trivia. With 100% less Chinese finger cuffs. Would you like some butter with that cobra roll? Perhaps some sorghum? The Comet is so cool it doesn't even need a witty caption. It just says "Yeah... uh huh" like Diddy in a Biggie song. Does it count as a foot chopper if you're going 2 mph? Grab some tissues, you Norwegian Loop fans. Oooh... hot panoramic action. Matt and I give Roller Soaker the thumbs-down. They could have simply made us stand in place for 30 minutes, then dump a cold bucket of water on us, and it would have accomplished the same. ??? Morning ERT on Storm Runner. Wait... what the hell kind of face is Robb making? RAC, now with less ER. I know it's a classic, but it kicked my ass in a bad way. These people are happy because: a) they won't be enduring four horrific Arrow inversions. That's it. There are no other choices. The correct answer is a). Morgan-ized! I snapped this picture on the way to Pittsburgh. New motto for this site: "Duck, TPR!"
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