TR: Knoebels July 21-22, 2005

[Marko]

This trip was thrown together somewhat at the last minute and when I called to make reservations at the Knoebels Campgrounds I was surprised to find they were nearly sold out. One option was to stay in the Quebec section and the other in the Texas Panhandle, obviously we chose the latter where Camp-RRC takes place each year in October. The campgrounds were very busy and apparently there is some sort of contest to see who can suspend the largest tarp above their campsite(s). Kid you not there was one the size of a tennis court, sheesh they are ugly. I can see wanting to have a covered eating area but what is the point of having one cover the entire campsite and then some? There were other interesting campsites as well including one with a confederate flag theme complete with a "The South will rise again" banner. I expected to see a campsite for PETA or perhaps the Democratic Party but thankfully most stuck with colored lights and lanterns.

 

After setting up camp we took the beautiful walk into the park courtesy of the bridge near the Flying Carpet ride. Crowds were pretty light so we decided to go with a wristband which worked out great. The next day we also went with the wristband but that turned out to be not the best as crowds were much heavier and we were unable to get nowhere near an equivalent number of rides had we spent the same amount on tickets. Live and learn, tickets are a good thing on busy days at Knoebels.

 

First ride of the day was of course The Phoenix, wanted to start things out with a bang. We took the second row which was great and then right after we went for the third row or Schmeck seat which was absolutely insane if not a little too rough. Maybe it's just me but Phoenix seems to be running rougher than last year. Finally we went for the front row and in both our opinions is hands down the best place to be on The Phoenix. The front provides the best air and is by far the smoothest, definitely worth the wait.

 

Next stop was Twister which was running pretty well but there was a ride operator who had been on duty too long. As we were waiting on the train in the station to have our lapbars checked we heard a series of "owws!" coming up from behind us. Within a few seconds my partner was also making the same loud sound of discomfort as this asshole operator literally jumped on her lapbar. Usually the ride ops are having too much fun and laughing, this guy clearly needed a vacation or a switch to washing dishes. Twister was fun but wasn't running as well as last October, it was back to being only somewhat enjoyable/rideable.

 

Next were rides on the Flyers which are always a good time, followed by the best bumper cars on the planet, the antique cars, then a spin on their carousel with plenty of brass ring action, then their Whip and a Sky Ride up the mountain and back down which provided a nice break and some great scenic views of the park. Dinner was at Cesari's Pizza which could have been better as they didn't reheat the pizza long enough, a problem I seem to encounter every time I go there. Finished the day off with more rides on Phoenix, their Haunted House, High Speed Thrill Coaster and a bunch of other rides. It was a great night and our final ride was the last run of the day on their new ride Fandango. Believe it or not I prefer Fandango over both Delirium and maXair, just a more exciting ride with better air time.

 

The next day we tried their breakfast at the International Food Court and the pancakes and french toast were both very good. Picked up wristbands and proceeded to get in as many rides as possible before taking a break around 1:00 when the heat of the day and heavier crowds were kicking in. One surprise was their Flying Carpet ride which I had never been on before. The restraint comes down and just keeps clamping down tighter and tighter until it apparently senses it's struck bone. Sensing this I attempted to fight it and pushed up to keep it at a comfortable snugness, huge mistake! I thought I had succeeded but during the ride the restraint decided to clamp down again and I let out a loud shriek which amused everyone on board, too funny.

 

We were in need/want of a bottle of wine for the evening and found out that is not such an easy thing to accomplish in PA. This isn't one of those areas that sells wine in grocery stores (wine coolers, yes), in fact there was only one place the park office recommended which was a state-run liquor store in Shamokin. We managed to find the place but were really surprised by the devastating poverty in the surrounding towns. There is a three-story house in Shamokin that apparently rotted on one side so they cut it down the middle and demolished the other side, one of the strangest things I've ever seen. There is a Wal-Mart in town and not surprisingly every local grocery and thrift store has gone out of business. Always thought of the area as having all vacation/resort sort of towns, so sad to see such a beautiful part of the country experiencing such tough economic times.

 

After our mini road trip we decided to try The Alamo restaurant in the park for an early dinner. The restaurant itself is very nice and we were seated after a very short wait, but unfortunately the food wasn't the best. We were both in the mood for steaks and while the NY strip was ok the marinated steak was downright funky. Would recommend staying with the $7 and under meals and avoiding the side vegetables which clearly come from the freezer and arrive swimming in butter/margarine. We both sampled each other's plates but I was the only one that ended up getting sick about an hour later. The only difference we could think of was I had the lemonade so maybe that was it.

 

One thing I can tell you is Knoebels has to be one of the last places on earth you want to be if you need to be near a bathroom. I would have paid good money for a toilet seat! Speaking of, is there any place else in the country that goes seatless when it comes to toilets? Maybe for women it's not bad but if you need to sit down in the men's you're pretty much guaranteed to be applying a potpourri of dried urine to your cheeks. But could the toilets even be retrofitted with seats? I noticed they like them so much they installed steel versions in the bathrooms near Twister (would love to see the supplier's customer list, lesseee, prison, prison, prison, Knoebels, prison… . Oddly enough the only toilet seat to be found in the park is in the bathroom at The Alamo, should have grabbed a mini-TV and moved in there. Ok, that's enough potty talk.

 

The rest of the night was really a wash, managed to get a few more rides in but Fascination turned out to be more my speed. "Mama needs a new toaster!" my friend shouted, she did pretty well where I think I only won once. It's a very fun and addictive game, especially love the cover-all, but has anyone computed what the cost of say the toaster would be in even a best case scenario of winnings? We blew our tickets on beautiful jewelry and a new wallet. Fascination is an amazingly good time, and also very, very silly.

 

A little before closing I was starting to feel better so we took one last run on The Phoenix in the front row. It had rained earlier and the high heat and pitch darkness gave us the best ride of our stay. It was Friday night and the campground was absolutely rocking in our area, the park office had to stop by to tell everyone to quiet down around midnight which we were both thankful for.

 

The next morning we were up and packed up in no time and it was time for another fond farewell to one of my favorite parks despite things not going the best. We stopped at the Perkins in Danville for breakfast before hitting I-80 which would take us to almost our last stop of the trip in Aurora, Ohio.

 

Mark