Post your favorite Monty Python quotes

Users viewing this topic: No registered users and 1 guest
Games, links, news, movies, WHATEVER!!! As long as it's not TOO dirty!
New to the TPR Forums? Come say hello and introduce yourself HERE!
Sorry, Not Feeling Very Creative Today!
User avatar
 
Posts: 3081
Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Location: Cleveland ohio
Gender: Male
Age: 57

Postby FlyingScooter » Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:39 am

...fishy fishy fishy FISH!

...and it went, wherever I, did go!

Idiot.
User avatar
 
Posts: 1896
Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Location: Kentucky
Gender: Male
Age: 33

Postby Stitch » Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:49 am

Village Man : "She turned me in to a Newt ... ... I got better." :lol:
I don't post here enough to warrant a signature.

Guaranteed Fresh or Your Money Back!
User avatar
 
Posts: 3608
Joined: 01 Mar 2005
Location: Belle River, Ontario / Melbourne, Florida
Gender: Male
Age: 28

Postby dandaman » Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:13 pm

VILLAGER #1:
We have found a witch. May we burn her?
CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!
BEDEVERE:
How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2:
She looks like one.
CROWD:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!
BEDEVERE:
Bring her forward.
WITCH:
I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.
WITCH:
They dressed me up like this.
CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
WITCH:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
BEDEVERE:
Well?
VILLAGER #1:
Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE:
The nose?
VILLAGER #1:
And the hat, but she is a witch!
VILLAGER #2:
Yeah!
CROWD:
We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
BEDEVERE:
Did you dress her up like this?
VILLAGER #1:
No!
VILLAGER #2 and 3:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No.
VILLAGER #1:
No.
VILLAGERS #2 and #3:
No.
VILLAGER #1:
Yes.
VILLAGER #2:
Yes.
VILLAGER #1:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.
VILLAGER #3:
A bit.
VILLAGERS #1 and #2:
A bit.
VILLAGER #3:
A bit.
VILLAGER #1:
She has got a wart.
RANDOM:
[cough]
BEDEVERE:
What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3:
Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEVERE:
A newt?
VILLAGER #3:
I got better.
VILLAGER #2:
Burn her anyway!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...
BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
VILLAGER #1:
Are there?
VILLAGER #2:
Ah?
VILLAGER #1:
What are they?
CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...
BEDEVERE:
Tell me. What do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2:
Burn!
VILLAGER #1:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE:
And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1:
More witches!
VILLAGER #3:
Shh!
VILLAGER #2:
Wood!
BEDEVERE:
So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
BEDEVERE:
Good! Heh heh.
CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE:
So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1:
Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE:
Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1:
Oh, yeah.
RANDOM:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
BEDEVERE:
Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1:
No. No.
VILLAGER #2:
No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1:
Throw her into the pond!
CROWD:
The pond! Throw her into the pond!
BEDEVERE:
What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1:
Bread!
VILLAGER #2:
Apples!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1:
Cider!
VILLAGER #2:
Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1:
Cherries!
VILLAGER #2:
Mud!
VILLAGER #3:
Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2:
Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR:
A duck!
CROWD:
Oooh.
BEDEVERE:
Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1:
If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE:
And therefore?
VILLAGER #2:
A witch!
VILLAGER #1:
A witch!
CROWD:
A witch! A witch!...
VILLAGER #4:
Here is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]
BEDEVERE:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.
CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...
BEDEVERE:
Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]
CROWD:
A witch! A witch! A witch!
Image

Sorry, Not Feeling Very Creative Today!
User avatar
 
Posts: 3081
Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Location: Cleveland ohio
Gender: Male
Age: 57

Postby FlyingScooter » Tue Oct 04, 2005 1:42 pm

^longest post award! :)




Every sperm is sacred
every sperm is good
every sperm is needed
in your neighborhood.

I'll have red wine with my slice of donkey.
User avatar
 
Posts: 149
Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Location: Aurora, Ontario, Canada
Gender: Male
Age: 58

Postby RBOrrell » Tue Oct 04, 2005 2:43 pm

"And now for the punchline.."

It's a good thing I didn't tell him about the dirty knife.

Idiot.
User avatar
 
Posts: 1896
Joined: 11 Mar 2005
Location: Kentucky
Gender: Male
Age: 33

Postby Stitch » Tue Oct 04, 2005 2:53 pm

Surgeon : "So ... can we have your Liver?" :lol:
I don't post here enough to warrant a signature.

Banned
User avatar
 
Posts: 786
Joined: 10 May 2005
Location: VA Beach, VA
Gender: Male
Age: 34

Postby Teddymonster » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:03 am

"[Ding-Ding] Bring out your dead!"



Short and sweet... 8)

Do you know where your wife is?
User avatar
 
Posts: 4405
Joined: 05 May 2005
Location: NOR*CAL
Gender: Male
Age: 41

Postby PhishyBrewer » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:06 am

"Wish I was a girly. Just like my old papa! I cut down trees, I sing and jump. I like to press wildflowers"

You have to love the Lumber Jack song :P

Sorry, Not Feeling Very Creative Today!
User avatar
 
Posts: 3081
Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Location: Cleveland ohio
Gender: Male
Age: 57

Postby FlyingScooter » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:11 am

Welcome, To the middle of the Film!

Sexing up the North Pole
User avatar
 
Posts: 1745
Joined: 15 Feb 2005
Location: East Granby, CT
Gender: Male
Age: 34

Postby Token Yankee Guy » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:51 am

Brian: Are you the Judeian People's Front?
Reg: F**k off...we're the People's Front of Judea
Last edited by Token Yankee Guy on Wed Oct 05, 2005 2:36 pm.
Image
"Britain, Britain, Britain, We're open from 9 to 6, monday through saturdays"

PreviousNext

Return to Random, Random, Random

Who is online

Users viewing this topic: No registered users and 1 guest

These pages are in no way affiliated with nor endorsed by SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment, Cedar Fair, Legoland, Merlin Entertainment,
Blackstone, Tussaud's Group, Six Flags, Universal Theme Parks, the Walt Disney Company or any other theme park company.

All onride photos and videos on this website were taken with the permission of the park by a professional ride photographer.
For yours  and others safety, please do not attempt to take photos or videos at parks without proper permission.

Disclaimer!  You need a sense of humor to view our site, 
if you don't have a sense of humor, or are easily offended, please turn back now!
Most of the content on this forum is suitable for all ages. HOWEVER!
There may be some content that would be considered rated "PG-13."
Theme Park Review is NOT recommended for ages under 13 years of age.

cron