Hello, and welcome to the Quahog Special People's Games. I'm Tom Tucker. And I'm Diane Simmons. It's a great day to be alive, Tom, able-bodied or not. It sure is. Today we'll see some of Quahog's finest athletes struggle valiantly against God's twisted designs. You'll cheer, cry, maybe even have a cheap laugh or two. I know I will, Tom.
There's the possibility that, by the end of the day, we'll all be going to Hell. I'll see you there, Diane.
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