Photo TR: Colorful Yunnan Paradise (1/20/2019)

The Angry Darren Mullins · January 20, 2019

January 20, 2019: Colorful Yunnan Paradise (Kunming, Yunnan, China)

*There is nothing wrong with this trip report. You are about to be CHINARD*

I went to Colorful Yunnan Paradise today to enjoy the B&M wing coaster and Blue Fire clone...only to hit a snag. It started before I left this morning. My wife called the park and nobody answered the phone (not a surprise when I remember that we called Victory Kingdom on and off for almost two years before someone answered-no wonder that place closed). We went down and asked at the hotel lobby if they had any info on how to get to it or info on potential discounts. Nobody knew anything, so we checked a couple of travel agency offices and at both places they said "Colorful Yunnan Paradise has already closed". Given that people at two different places said this and the fact that nobody at the park answered the phone, we scratched the idea of going. We found out a bit later that the park was still very much open, but by this time, it was too late for us to go.

Instead of Colorful Yunnan Paradise, I visited Tanhuasi Park instead. While it is a nice park, that kiddie powered coaster just doesn't fill the footers of a Mack Blue Fire clone.

I do not want to close this TR without pointing out that what I experienced today is nothing new for me. There are two reasons why you are getting photos of a different park than what is mentioned in the title of the TR. The first reason is nobody at Colorful Yunnan Paradise answered the phone. This is a recurring problem in China. I remember a commercial on the radio as a child where a phone kept ringing and a voice said "this is the sound of business lost". As Chinese people love money, it seems they should master the art of answering the phone. Remember, I called Victory Kingdom in Guilin for two years before I got an answer. With such crappy customer service, I am not surprised that it has closed.

The other reason I did not get to go to Colorful Yunnan was the dishonesty of people at the travel agents. If they didn't offer anything regarding the park, they should have said so instead of lying to me. I have put some time into coming here and planning my schedule. Kunming is supposed to be a tourist city and they need to be prepared to deal with tourists in a sensible manner. The anger I feel right now is similar to that time Romon-U Park changed the rules after I bought my ticket. At the gate the rules said I could ride Euro Express. At the loading platform, a new rule was introduced. China has brought its freak flag to the amusement park industry and I am a racist because I do not like being lied to.

For those of you who clicked on this hoping to read to see photos of a B&M and two Macks, you now know what it is like to be CHINARD.