We did something that really lays out contrast in a striking way between the two regional theme park giants in the US, Cedar Fair and Six Flags. We immediately followed our trip to Cedar Point and Kings Island with a visit to,
Six Flags Magic MountainA flagship park to Cedar Fair and a "flagship" to Six Flags are two very, very different things. Maybe it's the fact that Cedar Fair has greatly improved chain-wide the past few seasons and it's highlighting the differences. I don't mean to non-stop rip on them, but I'm perfectly comfortable with calling 2018 the worst season I've seen at Six Flags parks as a whole. Sadly, this visit to the Mountain continued this trend instead of bucking it.
Maybe it was because our days there were both weekdays (Thursday and Friday) in September. For the entirety of our visit, the park with 19 coasters had Apocalypse, Green Lantern, and Viper down. Not "broken and working on them", just closed. When we arrived at the park well past noon on Friday, X2 and YOLOcoaster were...not ready yet, despite the park opening at 10:30 AM. Jesus f*cking christ. Maybe instead of symbolically opening a "20th coaster", they should just focus on running what they have consistently. Arriving at the park on a Friday afternoon well past opening and having 5 major coasters down is really just unacceptable.
Luckily, it was completely dead, so we didn't have to wait more than 20 minutes with the one-train operations they had everywhere. When we were hungry, we kept finding places to eat on the app that we thought sounded pretty good, and it was almost funny when we'd arrive to find them "closed for the day" and move on to another.
This was my first visit to this park since 2011 and I honestly have about zero desire to go back for at least as long. And it really is too bad, because the park is in a really scenic area of California that looks a million times better than the power lines and smog sprawl south of LA. They have a mobius-loop RMC for f*ck's sake, a B&M flyer with a terrifyingly large pretzel loop, the best B&M stand-up, a GCI, Batman clone, and the list goes on.
Maybe someday Six Flags will give a sh*t, but for now I see the chances of that happening at just about null.
- Attachments
-

- First, let's hop a ride on the super intense i405
See what i did there?
-

- As you arrive at the Mountain, you first get a look at X2.
One time I saw something on TV about a guy who survived going over Niagara Falls in a trash can. And I was like...yeah, but have you ever been on X2 tho?
-

- Hmm, looks pretty busy
-

- Ok I'm going to say something nice now. Twisted Colossus is really, really awesome.
It's kind of an erratic RMC, similar but totally different from all the others. Sometimes you duel, usually you don't, because, well, f*cking Six Flags. It has great airtime. It has cool hanging and quick, awkward outward-banking moments. It's pacing is completely interrupted by the second lift, but it's okay, because it's kind of like the park has two RMCs and you only have to wait in line for one.
-

- Cedar Point has a shiny boring B&M that looks majestic, flanked by huge screens and gleaming modern architecture, welcoming you to their flagship park.
Six Flags has these rusty steel bars over decades-old ticket booths with peeling paint and sun-faded windows.
But you still have a membership because Six Flags owns you. Same.
-

- This spot looks pretty damn cool, though. As you can see, it was a zoo that day.
-

- Live it. Be it. Ride it.
Ugh, shut up Katy Perry
-

- Ignore the piece of paper "theming" and the cheap station, these newer Premier coasters really pack a punch.
Oh, but I also mean literally. At the end, YOLOcoaster slams on the brakes HARD while you're still at a vertical angle. It packs a punch right to your stomach. Hope you didn't eat beforehand!
-

- There's something very Six Flags about this game
-

- Riddler's Revenge is a slightly different color than it was back in 2011, but still a great ride. It's kind of the "Kumba of Stand Up Coasters"
-

- They were running one train. On a B&M stand-up that no one in the universe knows how to climb into. There was a station wait here, and at one point I just wanted to see how long it took from gates open until the time the same train was loaded, went out, and came back. 9 minutes went by. Our 1/4-full station wait took about 35 minutes. But hey...it got us out of the harsh California sun?
-

- We rode the Ninja. I was looking forward to riding Apocalypse again since I enjoyed it in 2011. No such luck. It's just closed. I guess it, Green Lantern, and Viper all had to be closed for the new coaster construction they weren't working on that day.
-

- We flew at the speed of fear.
Tatsu is really fun and at times, really terrifying. Being in the flying position that high in the air is very intimidating. That enormous pretzel loop really is great, too.
-

- "Welcome to Six Flags, have a look at the other train we aren't using!"
-

- So like we probably (or definitely) wouldn't have ridden this thing even if it was open...but still
-

- At Six Flags, some random racks of overstock superhero capes they bulk bought in 2003, strewn about a random stretch of blacktop, counts as a store.
At least...it was organized by style?
-

- Six Flags cares about you. They don't want you to force yourself to throw up your food when you see how in shape everyone is in LA, so they set the rides so they do it for you. See, that's nice of them!
-

- Goliath has these big, cool letters. This Goliath was the gateway Goliath that set Six Flags up to call everything from a B&M hyper in Georgia to a non-functioning GIB in Massachusetts the same thing.
And that's why you don't do drugs.
-

- They were actually running two trains at Goliath. Wow!
-

- "Oh, don't worry, I'll be back to burn your necks to a crisp tomorrow, b*tches!" --The Sun
-

- At our hotel nearby, somebody had illegally parked their prop plane, and there was a note duct taped to the window, probably saying "you have 24 hours before we tow your sh*t!"
-

- It's kind of like you knew I was going to bring up the "parking lot coaster", and no trip report to SFMM is complete without it.
-

- ...at least they saved money because eventually the sun makes the parking spot lines fade away?
-

- Next to the prison yard chainlink fence that guides you to/from scream is a remaining concrete footer of what was probably either the ride's camera (the photo booth looked long shuttered) or an old parking lot light pole. Either way, it's left on full display because f*cking Six Flags, man.
-

- But are you really surprised about that?
-

- Sorry kids, Batman has more important things to do than go to the f*cking car wash.
-

- Totaled 90s taxis we bought for $20 from the junkyard count as "spooky fright fest theming"...right?
-

- Okay, or does a totaled Saturn Vue count? Don't worry, we put a tarp over the shattered-out window so you can't see the real blood stains.
-

- The nicest part of this park by a longshot.
-

- Oh, you know, they just have an Intamin 4D ride that's about 1,000x better than the S&S 4D Free Fly coasters that they keep installing everywhere as brand new coasters.
So naturally, it sits closed for a long, long time.
-

- "We didn't just throw trash here...it's theming!"
-

- Uh huh
-

- The local Honda dealership-sponsored incline railway is a great way to get up-down the mountain at the Mountain.
-

- I'm actually going to say something nice again. The park operates a full-service restaurant and the food there was actually awesome. We also had a really cool server who was pretty entertaining, although I can admit that we mutually entertained one another with jokes about how sad and pathetic the park operations are.
-

- One last loop for the road. Thanks for making sure that for my next visit, I'll have absolutely zero expectations, Six Flags!