On that note, how is it that I've never noticed the fact that the ride descriptions on Cedar Point's website are this hilariously wonderful?
Some highlights include:
This fiery beast leaves nothing to the imagination. It gives you everything you love in a coaster and still has you begging for more. Better yet, the Iron Dragon will literally leave you hanging over the Cedar Point Lagoon. Will you swing across or will you dive in? This coaster leaves you second-guessing as it swings side to side over the park and across the water at adrenaline-inducing speeds.
Picture this: You’re walking through a field when a bird of prey dives from the heavens, snatches you up and then proceeds to take you on a terrifying journey to wherever it pleases. That’s how riders will feel while on Raptor, as their feet dangle through 3,790 feet of track filled with a 100-foot vertical loop, two inverted corkscrews, a zero gravity roll and the world’s first ever cobra roll. We’re out of breath just listing it all off. Flying at speeds of 57 m.p.h., riders bob and weave through the sky and are never ready for what’s coming next. Although it’s been joined by other high flying birds since its opening in 1994, it’s still staking claim in the air and protecting its hunting grounds down below.
Can someone be nowhere and everywhere at the same time? That’s what people will be wondering on one of the most disorienting rides ever created - maXair. Being one of only two built of its kind in the United States, this ride will provide more than just one unique feeling. There is no countdown to this 70 mph pendulum, and your guaranteed not to be hypnotized as it swings and rotates. Anyone watching from the sidelines may not be so lucky as the ride swings in a 120-degree path. First, riders sit on outward facing ring of suspended seats. Then they’re swung back and forth on a rampant pendulum while spinning counterclockwise. When peak velocity is reached while upside down 140 feet in the air, riders will experience the rare feeling of total weightlessness. And that’s when they’ll realize the answer to the question of “where am I?” isn’t a physical destination, but a state of mind.
Pipe Scream still wins though