ebl Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 When you take pi away from an elephant, y = stampede. Could a pitcher in the new Yankee Stadium still be called a southpaw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Thriller Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 If they vote on it. How do you chase a chicken? --James Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
generaleclectic Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 You don't. While sitting on your front porch (banjo in the background) you reach for your 30-06 (Thirty Ought Six) What's up with chasing chickens anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedPirate Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Because sometimes they just won't cross the road and need a helping hand... What did the ladle say to the spoon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Thriller Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 "I'm going to go kill someone with this spoon." If a pair of scissors where alive. What would it sound like?" --James Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 ^ I don't know, but I bet it would have a snippy attitude and a wit right on the cutting edge. How wide should a monorail track be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedPirate Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 As wide as the sun on a Monday morning as it rises over the meadows and illuminates the lone farmer and his brother as they walk to market to buy eggs for their beloved mother who is ill in bed because of the long cold winter that was so harsh and killed the only cow that lived in the barn that their neighbour Jack built with nothing but his bare hands and a magical hammer sent down to him by Thor the god of Thunder who won a bet against Fate as to whether the cow would survive the winter but lost a bet with Cupid as to whether the old ill mother would survive the long cold winter and make it into spring to hear the sun rise on a Monday morning and see her sons walk to market to buy eggs for her as she is ill in bed because of the cold winter that was so harsh and killed the only cow that lived in the barn that their neighbour Jack built with nothing but his bare hands and a magical hammer sent down to him by Thor the god of Thunder who won a bet against Fate as to whether the cow would survive the winter but lost a bet with Cupid as to whether the old ill mother would survive the long cold winter and make it into spring to hear the sun rise on a Monday morning and see her sons walk to market to buy eggs for her as she is ill in bed because of the cold long winter...... Why is lemon washing up liquid made with 100% real lemons and lemon squash made with lemon concentrate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Lemon 'squash' = 'compress' = 'concentrate'. Does Captain Hook severely injure himself every time he has an itch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jason10 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Yes. (In a nut shell) Why is abriviated such a long word? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 The bureaucratic nature of the English language. Would you like to be invited to the pants party? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Thriller Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 If Megan Fox is there. Are the people driving you crazy? --James Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedPirate Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 The people don't drive me crazy but they do give the voices in my head a headache... Why is a boxing ring square? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Because sometimes the town square is round...some sort of yin-yang thing, I guess. Why is some food green when it's spoiled, and some is better the greener it gets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedPirate Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Because there are two different food fairies at work... the Green Fairy and the Greener Fairy. If people spell it "Vampyre" when a "Pyre" is a pile of burning material normally used in ceremonial cremation and a "Vamp" is a sexually provocative woman Does that make the "Vampyre" a seductive and sexually active bonfire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Thriller Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 If your in that part of the country. If blind people wear sunglasses. Why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? --James Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 ^ First of all, I laughed pretty hard at your question. I've read the one about the blind wearing sunglasses, but never the deaf wearing earmuffs! Second, I'll answer it: It's the same reason that people who smell don't cover their noses. Why do some people call a cup a "glass" when it's obviously made of plastic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i am legend--in bed Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Because the word glass is a proxilimintator to the word plastic and cup, therefore making people get the two mixed up. JK, How should I know? If my pants are on backwards, then does my pants think that I'm on backwards? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHulk Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 ^ Yes, because if you think your pants are on backwards, your brain sends a signal down to your pants telling them that YOU'RE backwards. If a dog lived in a house on it's own, would it be a dog house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorneypark_fan Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 No Its not made of a dog. Why does glue taste so good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 It's a trick by the glue companies to get you to eat it and like it, then you'll buy more. What does panda taste like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Victory. Is there an ethical dilemma in putting a gay man in a straitjacket? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee cannonball Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Uuuuuuuuhhh... the hokey pokey? i can has cheezburger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 You can has cheezburger here. How do they put the grooves in tires? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 By placing a record player needle on the tire, then playing a groovy soundtrack at high RPM. Does a lightning rod on top of a church show a lack of faith? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 No, but it helps the bottom line at the hardware store. We all know about popping corn, but what would happen if we popped oats or rice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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