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Sexual Orientation


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What's your orientation?  

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I spent the weekend dealing with my Mother who is now in hospice, and is dying.

 

and it was STILL time better spent than thinking a moment about the Inauguration of the last President of the United States.

 

 

 

been ignoring that, and any "news" that happened since Thursday evening. . way more important things to occupy my mind at the moment.

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^ Bert, I am SOOOOOO sorry to hear that about your mother. My sympathies are with you, your husband and family during this very difficult time. I lost my mother close to 14 years ago and it still hurts to this day...no one can replace ones mother. No one.

 

 

You know if you need anything, let us know...we're here for you!

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^ thank you.

 

I really think the only reason she did not pass today, was thru sheer force of will that she did not want to die on my Anniversary

 

we spent all weekend with her (they moved her to Hospice Saturday morning), but I'm dealing with the guilt that we had to come back to Austin yesterday, due to commitments we could not get out of, and I'm not there with her and my Dad.

 

I'm keeping in contact with them via phone in the room. . (my Brother is there with him), and he told me that she's unable to even swallow now, and is so heavily sedated that she's just been sleeping since we left yesterday. I'm wracked with guilt for leaving.

although I know there's nothing I could do and my Dad TOLD us to go ("life goes on").

 

she was pretty coherent (at least in and out) on Sat, and I got to have some conversations with her, so at least we got to say goodbye.

she's not dumb, she knows she's dying. . and as I said. . it's gutting me. . .

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^^ I know what you are going through, Bert as you want to be there for every second, but there are certain things that are beyond your control. I left my mother's bedside at my father's advice to come home and get some much needed rest because I had been there the previous 36 hours straight. By the time I slept, showered and was getting ready to head back to the hospital, she passed and it crushed me for not being there.

 

I know that this can't be a happy anniversary for you, but would still like to congratulate you and your husband on your first.

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I spoke with my boss, and went back to Houston Wednesday morning to be with my Mom.

 

My Mother passed on Thurs, 1/26 at 6:20 pm, with both her sons at her side (each of us holding her hand) and my Dad stroking her face.

 

She was loved, and she will be missed, and I"m absolutely gutted.

 

I will get thru this, there is simply no other choice.

 

thank you for the kind thoughts from earlier this week.

 

best,

bert

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Big Hugs, Bert.

 

Thoughts from me and David for you, your family and close friends.

 

thank you, Bill.

 

as I said. . .I'll get thru it, there's simply no other choice, but damn. .this is hard

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  • 2 weeks later...

thanks again guys. . . it's been really hard.

 

but the Celebration of her life is this Sat..so putting effort into the planning for that, as well as planning for our cruise (and having something to look forwards to in June (CP with Bill!) is helping me get thru).

 

worried how I'm gonna survive my 50th birthday (big party was planned, and Mom's not gonna be there).. but hopefully by April, I won't be having such a rough time accepting it.

 

it's tough being a Momma's boy

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I know all about it being a Momma's boy, Bert...I was too.

 

But you will find that going to these events will cheer your spirit because you know that it's what she would have wanted. If Michael gets better before you guys head to CP, we'd love to meet up with you and Bill for a beer or soda and few coasters!

 

Speaking of Michael, he continues to heal, but still has a way to go before he can return home. He is in a skilled nursing and rehab center about 40 minutes from here so the drives are still long, but not as long as they were to Buffalo or Erie.

 

The thing that ticks me off the most is that the main thing keeping him from rehabbing and coming home sooner is a massive bedsore that he got on his backside while in Buffalo. Due to this being on his bottom, it limits the amount of time that he can spend in a wheelchair, which also decreases the amount of time in physical therapy. It's like a double-edged sword in that he needs to be out of bed, but he can't sit on the chair for more than an hour per day.

 

Hopefully we can find a happy medium, but the main thing is that he has battled through it. I almost lost him three times, so there can be no more regression from here!

 

Unfortunately I have come down with a stupid cold so that is keeping us apart as I can't change going there and giving him what I have.

 

Sometimes life just isn't fair.

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^ Great idea about meeting up, Phil! If you and Michael can make it, that would be cool!

And I hope he continues to improve and get better, okay? Oh, and I just found this in

one of the old TPR Tours. Actually the first public one TPR did, in 2006.

pleasurewood56.jpg.a4562459df2930751f95f7b9ea862c99.jpg

At Pleasurewood Hills, June 2006. Our lovely models, Robbe' & DaVO, demo the sign. Pic by TPR.

Edited by Nrthwnd
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^ Great idea about meeting up, Phil! If you and Michael can make it, that would be cool!

And I hope he continues to improve and get better, okay? Oh, and I just found this in

one of the old TPR Tours. Actually the first public one TPR did, in 2006.

 

they TOTALLY should have called that "going gaily forwards"

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  • 2 weeks later...

My grandmother passed away yesterday at the age of 97.

 

As sad as it is to have her pass, her past couple of years had not been what you could call "quality of life years" due to dementia. She was ready to go, so that makes grieving not quite as difficult as when someone gets taken from you well before you (or they) are ready. Good thing is that I got to visit her on Saturday, kiss her on the forehead and tell her that I love her...so I am also at peace with myself.

 

She was a very strong, smart, stern woman and I will forever be proud to call her 'My Grandma'...lots of great memories and that's what matter most!

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^ Thanks Bill...looks like the funeral won't be until March 4th in order to allow more of the family to come to town.

 

 

In other news, we got Michael transferred back to Erie yesterday where he will have his specialists on site. Medicare was trying to deny his ambulance transports to & from his appointments, so we really didn't have much choice but to go back to Erie.

 

What pisses me off is that we just found out today that he needs to have surgery on a bedsore that penetrated into his backbone...something that he should have never, ever have gotten during his hospital stay in Buffalo. This is playing a major role into why he isn't walking and home already.

 

And my 12 weeks of FMLA ran out so I had to go back to work last Friday.

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^ Thanks Bill...looks like the funeral won't be until March 4th in order to allow more of the family to come to town.

 

 

In other news, we got Michael transferred back to Erie yesterday where he will have his specialists on site. Medicare was trying to deny his ambulance transports to & from his appointments, so we really didn't have much choice but to go back to Erie.

 

What pisses me off is that we just found out today that he needs to have surgery on a bedsore that penetrated into his backbone...something that he should have never, ever have gotten during his hospital stay in Buffalo. This is playing a major role into why he isn't walking and home already.

 

And my 12 weeks of FMLA ran out so I had to go back to work last Friday.

 

Bedsores don't sound like much fun at all, especially considering that they should not happen

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My grandmother passed away yesterday at the age of 97.

 

As sad as it is to have her pass, her past couple of years had not been what you could call "quality of life years" due to dementia. She was ready to go, so that makes grieving not quite as difficult as when someone gets taken from you well before you (or they) are ready. Good thing is that I got to visit her on Saturday, kiss her on the forehead and tell her that I love her...so I am also at peace with myself.

 

She was a very strong, smart, stern woman and I will forever be proud to call her 'My Grandma'...lots of great memories and that's what matter most!

 

So sorry for your loss, Phil.

 

my condolences.

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^ Thanks Bert...the visitation is tomorrow and the funeral is on Saturday so we could allow family time to travel.

 

Then I wake up this morning with a sore throat and feel like I'm coming down with something - so much that I ended up calling off of work. Looks like we're both a little down in the dumps, but hope that you are starting to feel a bit better?

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Two days in bed, and still feel crappy, but better.

 

depressed, of course, but crying less.

 

(and I need to get back on my diet, after doing so well, the loss of Mom, + cruise eating, probably put 15 lbs or more back on me). . but been too sick to exercise thus far this week.

 

but only way to go is forwards, right?

 

hugs,

bert

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