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What's your orientation?  

2,132 members have voted

  1. 1. What's your orientation?

    • I'm a guy who likes girls
      1224
    • I'm a guy who likes guys
      471
    • I'm a girl who likes guys
      114
    • I'm a girl who likes girls
      17
    • I'm a guy who likes guys and girls
      163
    • I'm a girl who likes girls
      35
    • I haven't figured out what I like yet...
      64
    • Hobosexual (I'm a person who likes hobos)
      22
    • Hoosexual (I'm a person who likes owls)
      46


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^^^ Effing awesome! We were on vacation when it passed, but pass it did. Hopefully, the other states will blueprint and legalize, but after being in the South this past week, I'm a bit concerned for the ole Bible Belt areas!

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After thinking this through, I've come to realize that I am infact, gay. I've come out to a few people, but I'm afraid of my dad. I can't tell my mom because she's well.. dead. And even though my dad has a gay brother, I don't think he is very accepting of the concept of gays. I need some help here.

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After thinking this through, I've come to realize that I am infact, gay. I've come out to a few people, but I'm afraid of my dad. I can't tell my mom because she's well.. dead. And even though my dad has a gay brother, I don't think he is very accepting of the concept of gays. I need some help here.

I ain't told my dad either. I told my mom, and being the "religious" (i.e. thumps the Bible when it comes to my sexuality) conservative southern belle she is, she told me I'm not normal and that this is just a stupid phase. My dad is like that but worse. Honestly I've found that friends really don't care. I have two different personalities though, my introverted quiet side for when I'm around my ignorant family and my normal, funny, outgoing side for everybody else.

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After thinking this through, I've come to realize that I am infact, gay. I've come out to a few people, but I'm afraid of my dad. I can't tell my mom because she's well.. dead. And even though my dad has a gay brother, I don't think he is very accepting of the concept of gays. I need some help here.

 

Frankly, for most parents, this is not news that they want to hear. Just goes with the territory. When you are ready, just tell him. You are not responsible for the reaction of others to this news (even your family,) you are responsible to yourself. If you are really worried, don't tell him until you are old enough to live on your own. It's been my experience that a lot of the time - even though they don't like it and really can't understand it - they come to accept it.

 

^living in the south, I've had plenty of people thump bibles at me - I just use the sound as a dance beat and move along

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After thinking this through, I've come to realize that I am infact, gay. I've come out to a few people, but I'm afraid of my dad. I can't tell my mom because she's well.. dead. And even though my dad has a gay brother, I don't think he is very accepting of the concept of gays. I need some help here.

 

Coming from an Orthodox Jewish family from Brooklyn (I know, how RARE! Jews in Brooklyn!) I had some issues in dealing with my family: For the most part it was, "So, nu?" for some to "Whaddaya mean hes 'fegele' " from others. Overall, I don't think I'd have been able to stay in the closet for too long- I had too many shoes!

 

Being the first 'truly' out member of my family (My Aunt Mel doesn't qualify- we KNEW she was a Dyke, but she never talked about it- despite that she played Tennis, Golf and Softball...) has been a challenge- in some ways a good one. You do learn quickly your defense mechanisms- and when it's better to go for a long walk rather than being around them when they get preachy.

 

The reaction of your parents (Father, in this case) is tough to judge at a distance. In a lot of ways, it's the hardest thing you will ever do in your entire life- as it's opening up a different world on the other side. I came out when I was 17- and still in HS, so for me it wasn't that easy to do; In hindsight, I'm glad I did it when I did. Granted, today, people have a much better sense of being queer in today's society- so a lot of the hinkies that are were associated with it are gone- thankfully. Homopobia, let alone hate in any form, has no place to exist in the modern world.

 

If anything, i'd say 'wait' till you're absolutely certain that you're going to be able to handle the reactions of your father- whether that's six months or two years down the road or longer- but be sure you're able to handle the emotional side, as much as anything else. And whatever you do- I cannot stress this enough- do NOT come out to him as a 'weapon' when there's a fight.

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After thinking this through, I've come to realize that I am infact, gay. I've come out to a few people, but I'm afraid of my dad. I can't tell my mom because she's well.. dead. And even though my dad has a gay brother, I don't think he is very accepting of the concept of gays. I need some help here.

 

You need to do it on your terms. I can not relate to you but I can understand how it feels. When I came out my family was 100% behind me. My mom at first understood what is was and was hesitant but there was never anger or hatred. She said I am her son and she would always love me no matter what. I never told my dad but he knew. See my parents were divorced and I was never close enough to him to tell him.

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My parents were not thrilled, but they already knew. When I had "the talk" with them, their response was, "DUH." Kind of stole my thunder. Then they started citing examples of how they knew since I was like 4.

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My parents were not thrilled, but they already knew. When I had "the talk" with them, their response was, "DUH." Kind of stole my thunder. Then they started citing examples of how they knew since I was like 4.

 

Kind of reminds me of Brian and Stewie Griffin "And the evidence keeps piling up..."

 

(Nobody could ever figure it out with me... other than I played Softball, Field Hockey, Golf and Tennis...and I loved the Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheredge, and pot-luck dinners.)

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My parents were not thrilled, but they already knew. When I had "the talk" with them, their response was, "DUH." Kind of stole my thunder. Then they started citing examples of how they knew since I was like 4.

 

Kind of reminds me of Brian and Stewie Griffin "And the evidence keeps piling up..."

 

(Nobody could ever figure it out with me... other than I played Softball, Field Hockey, Golf and Tennis...and I loved the Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheredge, and pot-luck dinners.)

 

So what you are saying is that you are a Lesbian? Yeah - they reminded me that my first favorite song was by Abba, I was picking out my own outfits by 4 years old and the ONLY time I EVER mowed a yard for money is so I could buy a Diana Ross album. I guess I wasn't fooling anybody .

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the ONLY time I EVER mowed a yard for money is so I could buy a Diana Ross album.

Was this the tip-off to your parents?

 

I don't know how aware my parents actually are of me, and I'm really glad I don't care. If I did I would've worried myself into a puddle.

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