Sexual Orientation

[Cyber.Fiber]

That is just revolting. I cannot believe that someone would have the lack of respect for the privacy of another. This just makes me sick. What makes it worse is the fact that from the sounds of things, he was already comfortable with who he was... only to have this happen to him... Regards and prayer to his family, and a prayer for all those suffering gay bulling (or any bullying for that matter). Hang in there, I was in the same position as you were now... Elementary school is brutal. But with Secondary School comes new people and separation from those assholes...

[Maximo37]

That story is awful... Just awful..

[Philrad71]

I once had a friend of mine post a couple pics of me singing karaoke drunk on New Year's Eve. That was embarrassing enough knowing I had friended some co-workers along with a bunch of people I went to school with on Facebook!

 

I could not imagine the feelings he must have felt when we saw those hidden webcam photos.

[WFChris]

Anybody come out on 'National Coming Out Day?'

[coasterfreak101]

Yeah, but I was already out so I guess that doesn't count!

[alilstronger]

Nah, I didnt come out on National Coming Out Day. I came out when I was 17, I did not know there was a day for that at that time. Plus, I was dating my first BF and was tired of 'lying' to my mom telling her he is just a friend.

[ArizonaGuy]

I came out to my sisters and friends when I was 21. I totally agree with being tired of lying and telling people that your boyfriend is just your "Friend". When I told my sister, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

[JEAPUgrad]

I'M GOING TO SEE HER IN LONG ISLAND IN APRIL.

Aaaaaaaaaaah.

 

On topic...well, who am I kidding? That was totally on topic. We can all guess our sexual orientations by our Lady Gaga preferences, right?

 

Negative.

 

I'm not one of those homos.

 

No Gaga for me.

 

No thanks.

[coasterfreak101]

I mean, I'm not that flamboyant. But I think it's relatively safe to say that if a man likes Lady Gaga (and by "like" I mean not just the singles but her all-inclusive), he's probably gay. Maybe not the other way around.

 

Case in point: I think there might have been four straight people at the La Roux concert last night, and I'm pretty sure they were all drug there by their girlfriends!

[mightbeawannabe]

I don't mean to offend anyone, but does anyone here get annoyed by overly flamboyant men that claim they're straight in their most feminine voice ever?

[B-RadG]

I don't mean to offend anyone, but does anyone here get annoyed by overly flamboyant men that claim they're straight in their most feminine voice ever?

Absolutely. One person came to mind when you said this. I'm gay but you wouldn't be able to tell unless you know me. I don't feel any need or see the reasoning behind acting like a total fool. I don't like flamboyant gay guys at all, they annoy me. There's one guy that goes to my school that is completely gay and constantly tells me I wish I was as fabulous as he is and he feels the need to be loud and scream stuff like "OMG!" So yeah. It annoys me. He claims he's straight.

[mightbeawannabe]

I wanted to be subtle, and not get it blown up in my face. You said what I wanted to say, about being a total fool and flaming, that is. I'm gay as well, but you probably wouldn't know it right away... I'm way more open on TPR than anywhere else about it. I've never told anyone but those on TPR.

[Vekoma Fan Boy]

^To be totally honest, I actually wouldn't have guessed that you were gay myself.

[redmenace8]

I used to be like that, cringe away whenever someone was too flamboyant and open near me. Until I realized it wasn't the behavior that was getting to me, it was the attention that I felt was being drawn towards me being around someone like that. I figured that if people thought I, in any way, tolerated that kind of person then people would think I might be like that. Of course, I just wasn't comfortable being open or really accepting about myself. I might be terminally shy, but I do accept who I am now, and I would treat any fellow gay as family.

 

I have seen enough to realize that the most open and over the top ones are the bravest of us. They either cannot hide who they are or choose not to. That, especially when younger, is to live in a world of hurt. They get hit with all the homophobia they can take, plus rejected by many who do not want to be identified with them, even if they are gay too.

 

If they are saying that they are straight, it is possible, there are many shades of personalities. A straight person doesn't have to like sports, talk about cars or hate anything that makes them look soft, and vice versa goes for gays. I am into some watching sports, target shooting, and have been hunting. I also like Project Runway, making desserts, and dancing , a real mixed bag. Everyone is different.

 

If they are gay but are saying they are straight, then they may be protecting themselves or simply haven't reached the point of really understanding who they are. It can take time. I had a friend in high school who wasn't the most masculine guy around. He always tried to minimize how he acted but he couldn't hold everything back all the time: mannerisms and what he like to talk about. Ironically, one day in German class, the class tried to out him, not to be mean, but just to address the elephant in the room. Everyone said they would accept him, even the football players. He wouldn't admit too it, at all. He kept saying no, but turned very, very red. (There is always something about the students in a German class, they are just a different kinda group of people.) In other classes, like P.E. or on campus a lot of students avoided him or made comments. If he had admitted to being gay, even if it was already pretty obvious, I think his life would have been a living hell, rather than the mixed bag it was. He even took a girlfriend for a time. He was either covering up, trying to not be gay, or just didn't understand, yet. Eventually, I did hear he came out later.

 

So, long story short, in time, you may learn to feel different about things, try not to judge others too harshly\. It is a very rough world, and seemingly getting harsher all the time. We cannot afford to divide ourselves from each other just because of how open someone is, when so many want to, literally, hurt us.

[JEAPUgrad]

I don't mean to offend anyone, but does anyone here get annoyed by overly flamboyant men that claim they're straight in their most feminine voice ever?

 

Not at all.

 

I'm actually really attracted to fem guys.

 

Most people don't look at me and think "gay" when they see me.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have my gurrrrl moments but usually not unless I'm around close friends.

 

I try to be open-minded and respect everyone despite our differences. I accept everyone. Even gun toting conservatives and trannies.

[pj.frankophone]

I'm a homo but girls hit on me a lot. I am always trying to do something positive about this by introducing them to my straight male friends. Usually ends up with them getting long term girlfriends who secretly fancy gay guys. Life is strange.

[jynx242]

I used to be like that, cringe away whenever someone was too flamboyant and open near me. Until I realized it wasn't the behavior that was getting to me, it was the attention that I felt was being drawn towards me being around someone like that. I figured that if people thought I, in any way, tolerated that kind of person then people would think I might be like that. Of course, I just wasn't comfortable being open or really accepting about myself. I might be terminally shy, but I do accept who I am now, and I would treat any fellow gay as family.

 

I have seen enough to realize that the most open and over the top ones are the bravest of us. They either cannot hide who they are or choose not to. That, especially when younger, is to live in a world of hurt. They get hit with all the homophobia they can take, plus rejected by many who do not want to be identified with them, even if they are gay too.

 

If they are saying that they are straight, it is possible, there are many shades of personalities. A straight person doesn't have to like sports, talk about cars or hate anything that makes them look soft, and vice versa goes for gays. I am into some watching sports, target shooting, and have been hunting. I also like Project Runway, making desserts, and dancing , a real mixed bag. Everyone is different.

 

If they are gay but are saying they are straight, then they may be protecting themselves or simply haven't reached the point of really understanding who they are. It can take time. I had a friend in high school who wasn't the most masculine guy around. He always tried to minimize how he acted but he couldn't hold everything back all the time: mannerisms and what he like to talk about. Ironically, one day in German class, the class tried to out him, not to be mean, but just to address the elephant in the room. Everyone said they would accept him, even the football players. He wouldn't admit too it, at all. He kept saying no, but turned very, very red. (There is always something about the students in a German class, they are just a different kinda group of people.) In other classes, like P.E. or on campus a lot of students avoided him or made comments. If he had admitted to being gay, even if it was already pretty obvious, I think his life would have been a living hell, rather than the mixed bag it was. He even took a girlfriend for a time. He was either covering up, trying to not be gay, or just didn't understand, yet. Eventually, I did hear he came out later.

 

So, long story short, in time, you may learn to feel different about things, try not to judge others too harshly\. It is a very rough world, and seemingly getting harsher all the time. We cannot afford to divide ourselves from each other just because of how open someone is, when so many want to, literally, hurt us.

 

Just quoted this because I like it and agree.

 

David

[ArizonaGuy]

Don't get me wrong, I have my gurrrrl moments but usually not unless I'm around close friends.

 

LOL@ "I have my gurrrl moments"

I hear ya.....we all do....especially when I have a few vodka/redbulls in me.

 

I need to find me a coaster husband though. Someone who appreciates the theme parks and coasters. I'm never gonna find that here in the desert! Ugh what was I thinking when I made the decision to relocate here?????

[the sound]

I don't mean to offend anyone, but does anyone here get annoyed by overly flamboyant men that claim they're straight in their most feminine voice ever?

No, because how someone acts is not an indication of wether they prefer a guy or a girl.

[redmenace8]

Just quoted this because I like it and agree.

 

David

 

 

Thanks for that, I just try to write from the heart.

 

Kevin

[NorCalAndrew]

 

Not at all.

 

I'm actually really attracted to fem guys.

 

Most people don't look at me and think "gay" when they see me.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have my gurrrrl moments but usually not unless I'm around close friends.

 

I try to be open-minded and respect everyone despite our differences. I accept everyone. Even gun toting conservatives and trannies.

 

I wish the gay community as a whole was filled with more people like you. I'm sick and tired of all the gay people who constantly discriminate against their own type.

[coasterfreak101]

I used to be like that, cringe away whenever someone was too flamboyant and open near me. Until I realized it wasn't the behavior that was getting to me, it was the attention that I felt was being drawn towards me being around someone like that. I figured that if people thought I, in any way, tolerated that kind of person then people would think I might be like that. Of course, I just wasn't comfortable being open or really accepting about myself. I might be terminally shy, but I do accept who I am now, and I would treat any fellow gay as family.

 

This. It's that attention that's always gotten me. Five years since I first came out and I still don't want that attention drawn to me. I like to say I'm not embarrassed, but I guess I can't. It's more of an inward embarrassment, I suppose.

 

But I do love all gay people.

[ericm95]

Another gay person here!

I came out last year and all my guy friends stopped talking to me because there homophobic. Oh well, if they can't accept you they aren't your true friends. I'm not ashamed of it either!

[redmenace8]

 

This. It's that attention that's always gotten me. Five years since I first came out and I still don't want that attention drawn to me. I like to say I'm not embarrassed, but I guess I can't. It's more of an inward embarrassment, I suppose.

 

But I do love all gay people.

 

Being honest is the best place to start. As you get out into the world, you will care less and less what other people think. Of course that might depend on where you are; some places are filled with people who, well, you know, aren't so nice. You cannot control what people think of you, ultimately. After you take that in, then, you will be more free to open yourself to people. Then, you will see how much more fun and fulfilling your life will be. In time.

[JEAPUgrad]

Arizona Guy wrote:I need to find me a coaster husband though. Someone who appreciates the theme parks and coasters.

 

Agreed. I still think TPR personals would be an awesome idea!

 

NorCalAndrew wrote:I wish the gay community as a whole was filled with more people like you. I'm sick and tired of all the gay people who constantly discriminate against their own type.

 

Thank you!

 

I've really been blessed in that I really had two of the best Fairy God Parents any gay boy could ever want. They taught me to be more tolerant of others especially those within the GLBTQ community. Nearly twelve years later, I still kind of feel that is one of the primary reasons the gays can't get anything accomplished in this country. We're too busy slamming one another instead of uniting as one to fight for the same cause, equality, while our opponents have no issue rallying together to deny us just that.

 

Here is a little bit about my Fairy God Parents.

 

My Fairy God Father was a gay rights activist pioneer in the 1960's who eventually became one of the leaders in the Leather community in the 1970's and 1980's. He passed away last year from complications with AIDS. He was diagnosed back in the early 1980's with HIV and somehow, some way managed to survive until his death last year. Larry was my second father.

 

My Fairy God Mother, who is to this day my bff, is a very well known drag queen in Washington DC. He is the founder of the Youth Pride Aliance which at the time that the Alliance was created in 1997 was the first of it's kind. Youth Pride Alliance puts on a Youth-oriented gay pride day every Spring. He currently works as the Executive Director for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Affairs for the sitting Mayor of Washington DC.

 

I learned very early in my gay days that surrounding myself with good people is one of the keys to living a good life.

 

The three of us made a great team for a number of years putting on Capital Pride together in DC.

 

And no, my two Fairy God Parents never were bf/bf.