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Sexual Orientation


What's your orientation?  

2,138 members have voted

  1. 1. What's your orientation?

    • I'm a guy who likes girls
      1226
    • I'm a guy who likes guys
      473
    • I'm a girl who likes guys
      114
    • I'm a girl who likes girls
      17
    • I'm a guy who likes guys and girls
      166
    • I'm a girl who likes girls
      35
    • I haven't figured out what I like yet...
      64
    • Hobosexual (I'm a person who likes hobos)
      22
    • Hoosexual (I'm a person who likes owls)
      47


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^^ Well, sex sure SHOULDN'T be the defining feature of a relationship, but everyone is different - some people are more sexual beings than others, they just need to express themselves sexually, and more frequently, than some, and that's fine.

 

Personally, I couldn't care less about sex, unless I am solely with the one person I truly care about. I gain no benefit from having sex with someone that I am not emotionally attached and devoted to. For people who have just a stronger sexual side than me, though, I can understand why they would need an open relationship, so that their sex life with their true partner never becomes "stale". We'll see, maybe after I'm with someone for 35 years I'll need romp around a bit, but for now I have no intention of ever doing it. Though, it's better for you both to be in the open about it, rather than having "affairs".

 

Different folks, different strokes.

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I don't see the point of having an "Open Relaionship", if you have found someone you want to be with, why share them with anyone else.

 

Your Relationship becomes pointless as your using each other for sex while finding other people to have sex with.

 

What happens if you or your Husband/Wife finds someone else they want to be with rather than being with you...? Your relationship is dead and your single again.

 

but some people don't care what they do and want to have sex with as many people as possible, relationships do not mean anything to them.

 

My relationship is a "closed" one and I will not be sharing my "Husbear" with anyone else, it's not worth it..

 

Well, y'know...whenever I have this discussion, I'm careful not to cast aspersions, but often get this kind of judgmental crap back anyway. A couple of us have said that we have stable, wonderful open relationships. Did you really mean to call us uncaring liars? Don't, please, tell me that I "don't care what I do." Telling me that "my relationship doesn't mean anything to me" and is "pointless" really takes nerve, dearie. My partner and I have been solidly in love for 3-plus decades, since you were in damn diapers, and have managed to endure quite without your approval, thank you very much.

 

See, I don't think of my partner as an XBox 360 or somethin' that I can "share" or not, as I wish. We're both autonomous human beings who get a lot out of sex with each other, but with other people as well. Presumably, your "husbear" (a term, since we're getting personal, that's so twee it makes me gag) is your best friend as well as your sex buddy. Does that means you can't have other friends as well? What if - gasp - you turn out to like them more, sex aside, than your partner and want to be with them instead? Or is sex the defining factor in your relationship?

 

And, come to think of it, are you telling me that theoretically monogamous realtionships don't often dissolve into infidelity, dishonesty, and breakup?

 

Listen, I've often said that monogamy is just great, as long as it stems from true desire, not insecurity or fear. Pardon my saying so, but the vehemance and vitriol with which you attack others' lives - as well as your "what if?" scenario - suggests that, um, well...

 

Edit: I agree with Nrthwnd that this is sorta OT, and beyond responding (maybe overemphatically) to what I perceived, perhaps erroneously, as a personal attack, I'm more than happy to see the thread revert to the "Who do you like to do?" question. We now return you to your regularly scheduled TPR...

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Hi there, Its been a long time since I have posted. But Back in the first few pages of this thread I posted That I'm gay. WELL, I have news ! I rededicated my life to Christ and beleive it or not I'm free from that old life style. Not saying that I'm out looking for a girlfriend right away, But I dont have any sexual feeling towards men any more. My main focus is Getting to know God and serving him. When he feels its time for me to meet a girl I will. I'll leave that up to him.

So I'm Free and now straight.

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^ Well, okay. Whatever floats your theological boat.

 

Just a few questions. Are you actually heterosexual now, possessing a deep desire for women, or just non-homosexual? Or were you always somewhere in the middle of the straight-bi-gay continuum?

 

You do realize that there is no single "gay lifestyle," just as there is no archetypal "straight lifestyle?" (Unless you count drinking beer while watching football on TV, and then heading for Hooters.)

 

And you do realize that some people's self-perceived sexual orientations are malleable, Jesus or no, right? (I just saw a documentary on same-sex marriage in which a woman says, "I was straight and married to a man for 25 years, until I became a lesbian." I suppose by your lights, she got possessed by the Devil, no?) And that studies of theologically based "ex-gay ministries" are kinda mixed, longterm-results-wise? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex-gay#Failures_of_ex-gay_ministries

 

Come to think of it, just what did Jesus say about sexual orientation?

 

And - not a question - I'm not feeling particularly "unfree" myself, and I suppose if I did, I'd go on an existential quest, not buy into some antique mythic system or other, but that's just me. I guess if you felt so unhappy about being queer, it's just as well you no longer feel you are.

 

Lots of luck.

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^^ Yeah, umm hi, you can still be gay and not be a slut, and you can still be gay and be a Christian, it's not at all an oxymoron: it's your personal lifestyle choices that you make. I am gay, but I can assure that I'll be going to heaven long before most straight people out there; I live a moral life, I am a virgin, and these are the choices I have made for myself. Eventually, yes, I plan on finding "the one" and getting married to Mr. Right, and having a monogamous relationship. I'm not attacking you, because everyone is free to make their own choices, it's just really sad that you felt ashamed of yourself so much you felt the need to try and change you are from the very core. I hope you are truly happy in your new chosen lifestyle, and not just putting on a mask to convince your family or yourself that you're something you might not be. Just know that there are other choices; you don't have to force a sexual orientation readjustment on yourself to stop having sex with men. As long as you are being BRUTALLY honest with yourself; because many wars have been fought, many people murdered, millions of people repressed and unfairly treated, and now, in this new trend you've participated in, many gay men have lived a miserable life lying to themselves and spending their days in sham marriages from incomplete "transformations", and all this in the wonderful name of "God's good will". Trust me, I've gone through the same tough trials, and I realized that I didn't have to sellf my beliefs short in order to live a fulfilling gay life; it is the everyday choices you make that matter. So, if you're truly "healed", good for you. I just know for me, that I would much rather put a bullet through my head than lie about my very existence on a daily basis to everyone around me, and to myself. The End.

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This is pretty typical of a religious upbringing, having so much pressure and influence put on you that you sort of develop a self-hatred to justify forcing yourself to be who and what others want you to be. Very sad way to live a life, not being true to your heart, letting others decide for you, as long as THEY'RE happy huh? And all because of some book written and re-written/reinterpreted thousands of times BY MAN over thousands of years. Yeah, just forget about what you heart tells you is right for you, your life will be so much better off .

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http://www.exodus-international.org/

I LOVE God now, and thats all that matters to me. Being gay or rich or whatever dosent matter to me. Loveing God and serving him matters to me. I dont understand why being gay is a sin, But that dosent matter to me. He says that it is and thats ok by me. For those of you who want to slam me for my choice I would highly suggest looking and reading and searching the web site I put in this post.

 

One other thing. Why is it when someone says they are gay , everyone is all " its ok we like you just the same" or what ever. But if someone speaks about God and how he is working in there life, everyone wasnt to slam you and be so negative.

Now which is the harder life to live?

I'm happy, In fact I'm the happiest I've ever been. I know there are a few people here that know what I'm talking about. As for the rest of you . I'm sorry you dont know.

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One other thing. Why is it when someone says they are gay , everyone is all " its ok we like you just the same" or what ever. But if someone speaks about God and how he is working in there life, everyone wasnt to slam you and be so negative.

Now which is the harder life to live?

 

Oh, I don't think that's true, or even what's happened here. Everybody is actually acting rather nice, if pitying, toward you. No one, for instance, has yet pointed out that two of the "ex-gay" founding members of Exodus International left the organization and went off with each other as a committed same-sex couple, or that later Exodus spokesman and much-publicized success story John Paulk ended up being spotted flirting in a gay bar.

 

I do think rightwing Christian fundamentalists get bad press because so many of them are willfully ignorant, politically grasping theocrats who are for some reason more obsessed with homosexuality - which the recorded words of Jesus are utterly silent about - than the things he did speak of - universal forgiveness, economic justice, and an end to posessiveness and warmongering. If Jesus did indeed tell George Bush to invade Iraq, then I'm certainly not going to take His advice.

 

Face it, plenty of leaders of the anti-gay Christian right (like Jim Bakker, Howard Carter, Billy James Hargis, and Ralph Reed) have been exposed as greedy and/or sexually hypocritical, while others (Pat Robertson, Lou Sheldon) are just massively unpleasant human beings. Give me the Dalai Lama anytime.

 

Lest you think I'm anti-Christian, I'm not. I'm anti-fundamentalism, be it Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu. On the other hand, Reform Judaism, under which I was raised, officially supports same-sex marriage, but then, the Jews will all burn in hell anyway, correct?

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Hey, so are you!

 

---------

 

Heres how i look at it. I am who i am. Its not my fault; Im not going to change who i am just to please somebody. I think God'll understand.

 

I agree..... For a long time (since I was 13) I was scared to tell anyone that I liked guys....I figured i'll just pretend to like girls around my family and freinds and then have a boyfriend outta sight....but I realized that wouldn't work....also i wasn't happy, I was trying to do my family a favor (or so i thought) then I realized, i'm gonna have to live with the choices I make, not them, not my friends...just David...me. So, I Told them all about a month or two ago and everyone was ok with it, which took an enourmous load off my shoulders. I'd say to anyone who is going through something simular, to just be upfront with you friends and family....8 times out of 10 (hopefully) they will understand, if not then oh well. You gotta live for you, thats something that I've come to terms with and lovin it. As far as God goes, hey I believe if we are happy, he's happy.

 

David "Glad to be out and lovin' it maannnnn!" Knight Jr.

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hmmmm....is allvery tangled, isnt it? To be honest, there is only one thing to add (i think, anyhoo)...

 

If u can't enjoy life, and care what others think, ur not doing the right thing. Were here because....well...WHO KNOWS?!?!?! WHO CARES!?!?!?!?

Masy as well just enjoy life and do evrything you can to help others enjoy it too! Surely that is a good thing...i mean, isnt that kinda what that jesus fella was always on about?

 

Oh, and if I could choose my orientation..... I truly doubt id even consider homo/bisexuality, cos its such a judged and tough ( annd potentially lonely) existence. But i didnt choose. So im just gonna try to maker the best of what ive got.

 

Surely "God" or who/whatever would be ok with me being true to myself, and loving....well....EVERYBODY (mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!)

 

oh well. im not gonna judge....

 

...theres plenty better things to do in a day

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Oh, and if I could choose my orientation..... I truly doubt id even consider homo/bisexuality, cos its such a judged and tough ( annd potentially lonely) existence. But i didnt choose. So im just gonna try to maker the best of what ive got.

 

 

Do any of you guys listen to Story of the Year? In their song "Is This My Fate? He Asked Them" they pretty much say the same thing...do you really think its a choice to be born into a life of discrimination?

 

Even though I was in denial about it for a while, I can trace back and see that yes I have liked guys for my whole life. It all depends on your environment and personality if, when, and how you act upon it. For me I didn't really just accept it as reality until after I started college (even though I had had a few experiences back in high school.)

 

But it was never a choice, but more of a natural progression. I think a lot of what people see and stereotype is personality as everyone is different. That is reguardless of "what" you are.

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Oh, and if I could choose my orientation..... I truly doubt id even consider homo/bisexuality, cos its such a judged and tough (annd potentially lonely) existence. But i didnt choose.

 

 

I know exactly what you mean. It sucks having to hide yourself all the time, but its even harder to come out. You're just scared none of your friends would accept it. Noone wants that.

 

Heck, its hard enough admitting it to yourself.

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Oh, and if I could choose my orientation..... I truly doubt id even consider homo/bisexuality, cos its such a judged and tough (annd potentially lonely) existence. But i didnt choose.

 

I know exactly what you mean. It sucks having to hide yourself all the time, but its even harder to come out. You're just scared none of your friends would accept it. Noone wants that.

 

Heck, its hard enough admitting it to yourself.

 

Hey, I agree with you and haiderodes....

 

I knew I liked guys since I was little....I choose to hide because, yes I was more afraid of my friends not liking me, rather than my family finding out...becuase they all told me they suspected it because I never really dated a girl.....I used to have girl friends so that no one would know that I was gay....but now that I look back on it...that was super stupid. But hey, what can I say, I was scared then.

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I feel for anyone who is hiding. I got married and everything but now I'm out and am very happy and finally myself. It took FOREVER for me to admit it but when I came out, no one treated me any different.

 

I would not change any of my choices I made. Plus I have a beautiful daughter that I love soooooo much.

 

People need to realize that they should be who they really are but you have these crazy people who think it's wrong and you chose this lifestyle. Yeah ok...you'd choose to be hated for who you are and judged all the time.

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On the other hand, Reform Judaism, under which I was raised, officially supports same-sex marriage, but then, the Jews will all burn in hell anyway, correct?

 

What do you mean all Jews will burn in hell?

 

// Moderator Edit: I fixed the quote so it is now attributed to the correct person

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OK, GET YOUR INFO RIGHT. I "SPIKE" DID NOT MAKE THAT LAST QOUTE! IN FACT I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE GOING TO HELL.

I am going to say that I would have thought you all would have been mature enough to take my claim of being Christian and not choosing to live the gay life style.

If you have a problem with it, grow up and get over it! quit putting qoutes and statments on here that I never made.

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