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Weirdest Things The 'GP' Have Said


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While waiting to get my pass processed at carowinds this morning i was in line behind one of the most gp kids ive ever heard in person.

He was so excited to get to go on Nighthawk and nobody told him the name had changed. He was saying to his mother, "I can't wait to ride cyborg, its so cool!" His mom then pointed out to him that it was testing and he said, "That's not Cyborg, cyborg has a big ball thing in the middle of it."

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Today I give you...

The bathroom story, as dug up from an old LJ post!

 

The Setting: Unsuspecting me is standing at information for a show, directing people on where they need to go and answering questions as they pop up. Insert one Darwin award winner here.

 

Man- "Where are the bathrooms?"

Me- "Well, there is one set directly behind you" *Points, is used to people not being able to read* "And there is another set around the corner next to the Waterside Cafe".

Man- *Wonders away for several minutes, then comes back* "But where's the bathrooms?"

Me- *Blink* "They are directly behind you sir and there is another set at the Waterside Cafe"

Man- "But I can't find them, can't you show me?"

Me- "I'm sorry sir but I can't leave my position but If you look behind you at the green and white building? They're right there" *Points directly behind the man to said bathrooms*

Man- "...but where?"

Me- *Mental Facepalm* "Right there sir.. See the tree? They're right beside the tree" *Points again*

Man- *Blank look* "..but I just need to use the bathroom!" *Raised voice*

Me *Thinking: Here we go..* "Sir, I'm trying to help you but I can't leave my post. They are directly behind you" *Points again*

Man- *Is now yelling* "I JUST NEED TO USED THE BATHROOM? WHERE IS IT?"

Me- *Starts pondering if the penquins will eat human if it's sliced up small enough* "Sir, I'm sorry your having difficulties but they are right there" *Points again*

Man- *Foaming at mouth* "B.A.T.H.R.O.O.M. THE SHITTER! THE POT! TOILET! Don't you speak english you stupid bitch?"

Me- *Counts to ten, wonders if I can behead him with a waterkey* "Sir there is no need for that kind of language, we're a family park. The bathrooms are directly behind you or at the waterside..."

MAN- *Snarl,growl,hiss* "ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU DON'T HAVE BATHROOMS?! WHAT KIND OF SHIT PARK IS THIS?!"

Me- *Trying to hold on to patience* "Sir, please don't cuss. The bathrooms are.."

MAN- *Starts to just cuss, F**k this.. F**ck that..*

Me- "Sir if you continue to keep up that kind of language I'm going to have to call security..."

MAN- *Struts around* "Oh yeah?! Bring it on! I'll kick all their asses and.. wait.." *Starts to remove pants* "I'll just go right here!"

Me- "Oh hell no.." *Stomps over, grabs phone and calls security*

 

In the end this jackass got his pants down just as our rather joking security showed up, this had drawn a rather large crowd. Dude got tackled to the ground and hauled off to those nice people called "Orange County Sheriffs"!!

 

((Edited for language in the original post))

 

 

Later tonight if I'm not to busy at work, I'll see if I can't find the "A guest took WHAT?!" story!

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OMG... why are some people so stupid? All he had to do was turn around...

 

I wonder if he had anyone with him?

 

 

Some *wet* stories:

 

1.) Me and my friend were at Kings Island last summer, and while waiting in line for Congo Falls, this is the conversation we heard behind us...

 

Boy 1- Are you sure we won't get wet on this?

Boy 2- Na, the boat keeps you dry.

Boy 1- But those people are soaked!

Boy 2- They stood on the bridge, what idiots.

Boy 1- Ooohhh.....

 

 

2.) This was also last summer with the same friend. We were sitting on the second row waiting for the Dive Show to begin. A boy and a girl were deciding where to sit...

 

Girl- (sits down near the back)

Boy- Lets go up farther, I want a better view!

Girl- But the sign says you'll get wet up there...

Boy- No, they meant don't get to close, or you'll fall in the pool.

Girl- Are you sure?

 

(Show begins)

 

Boy- Whoa, that flip was awesome!

 

(Big splash)

 

Boy- WHAT THE H#LL! I'M LEAVING!

 

 

3.) Waiting in line for Raging Rapids...

 

Kid- Does this ride get you wet?

Ride Op- No, we're just joking. (rolls eyes)

 

 

 

 

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Well I can't find the orignal post, so I'm going to tell the "A guest did WHAT?!" story as well as I can remember it.

 

Me-*Poor unsuspecting me heads into work for a closing shift. Rather surprised to find about seven Orange County Sheriff cars parked right next to the security gate*

 

Cop- "Are you scheduled today?"

Me- *Thinking to self "If I wasn't I sure as hell wouldn't be standing here now would I?"* "Yeah, 3pm to close at Sea lion and Otter"

Cop-*Looks to security guard*

Guard-*Looking peeved sighs and grabs a thick book of schedules* Name?

Me-*Gives name, sighs. Now I'm gonna be late to clock in*

Guard- "Yeah she's on the list..oh man did you miss the scoop that went on it your area today!"

Me-*Blinks* Huh?

Cop- "She doesn't need to know about that. It's a police issue"

Me- "Umm, excuse me but if I'm walking into a clusterf**k I'd kind of like to know?"

Guard- *Laughing* "Some dumb guest took one of the golf carts they park over at Shamu! Ran it around the park, ran a few people down then crashed it into the pinniped glass!"

Me-*Ker-BLINK* WTF?! A Golf cart?! What kind?!

Cop- *Looking pissed but stays quiet*

Guard- *Passing me the huge ring of closing keys for the stadium* "One of the gas powered ones! Happened about half an hour ago, broke about three peices of glass. Had to shut down the area and move the animals out, the damn news vultures are crawling all over the park!"

Me-*Groan, Pondering calling out sick from the security gate*

 

So I walked down to my area, went the long way so I could go around the pinniped area to our tiny office.

What happened was this: Some dumb lady got the idea that a golf cart would be a much better idea then walking. The trainers normally park one or two of them behind the fence at Shamu stadium. Well this guest opened the gate, took the golf cart and desided to go cruising. When security got word and gave chase she just kept going until she got cornered over in Pinniped (where might I add is at the far end of the park, Golf Carts do NOT fit around that area other then the truck transport gates). So crashed it into three panes of glass at the far end of the exhibit.

 

Needless to say the day went downhill from here!

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When I went o CW in august, I got a couple that were relativley "intresting" at the least.

 

Well standing in the airgates for Vortex, the train comes in, and the people in the row behind me say, lets not ride, it looks boring it dosent do any "Loop-de-loops."

 

Another good one was on the mine buster, about halfway up the lift the prissy teenager beside me asked if this was thunder run, I tolder her it wasnt, and she starts trying to force the lap bar open to get off.

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I used to work at cedar point as a ride host.. you would not believe the things I heard. Here are a few that seem to stand out to me.

 

1. (At Wicked Twister Entrance) "Will I be able to breathe up there?!"

"No, you must hold your breath the entire ride"

(Wicked Twister Platform) "What ocean is that?"

"Lake Erie."

"So is it salt water, or fresh water?"

"Fresh, sir."

"There're sharks?"

"ON-COMING RIDERS, WELCOME TO WICKED TWISTER, cedar points most twisted coaster on the FRESH WATER, FISH inhabited, LAKE Erie."

 

2. (At Corkscrew Entrance) "Where is Top Fuel Drag Racer?"

(At Corkscrew Entrance) "Is this Magnum Force?"

 

3. (At Mantis Entrance) "Does this ride go upside down?"

(Looks to left at massive vertical loop) "No."

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Well this isn't a comment from a member of the general public, but rather a comment by a ride op from the other day when I stopped at Wild Adventures on my way back from spring break in Florida.

 

I was getting on Cheetah and some lady strolls into the station with a kid who was clearly too short to ride. The ride op copped an attitude and said "Unless they changed the metric system all of a sudden, that boy is not 48 inches"

 

Inches = metric system?

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Today in school two kids were talking about IOA.

 

Kid1: Have you been to IOA?

Kid2: Yeah! I love Superman the one where there is two tracks side by side and it goes up the tower and falls back down.

(Referring to Superman the Escape.)

I just rolled my eyes, thinking there on opposite sides of the country from one another.

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Today in school two kids were talking about IOA.

 

Kid1: Have you been to IOA?

Kid2: Yeah! I love Superman the one where there is two tracks side by side and it goes up the tower and falls back down.

(Referring to Superman the Escape.)

I just rolled my eyes, thinking there on opposite sides of the country from one another.

 

That has to be the dumbest thing i have heard in a while.

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I used to work at cedar point as a ride host.. you would not believe the things I heard. Here are a few that seem to stand out to me.

 

1. (At Wicked Twister Entrance) "Will I be able to breathe up there?!"

"No, you must hold your breath the entire ride"

(Wicked Twister Platform) "What ocean is that?"

"Lake Erie."

"So is it salt water, or fresh water?"

"Fresh, sir."

"There're sharks?"

"ON-COMING RIDERS, WELCOME TO WICKED TWISTER, cedar points most twisted coaster on the FRESH WATER, FISH inhabited, LAKE Erie."

 

2. (At Corkscrew Entrance) "Where is Top Fuel Drag Racer?"

(At Corkscrew Entrance) "Is this Magnum Force?"

 

3. (At Mantis Entrance) "Does this ride go upside down?"

(Looks to left at massive vertical loop) "No."

 

Wow how pathetic LOL

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While riding Pirates at Disneyland the other day I heard a lady telling her kids that, "When I was a kid, they never had the drops at the start of the ride."

 

Hmmm, I thought.

 

My wife even turned to me and asked if that was even possible. I just gave her the look and she understood. That lady was an idiot.

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In the short time that I worked at Knotts I heard some pretty funny things from the guests.

1.

Guest- "Where is Viper?"

Me-"Um Viper is not at this park, its at Six Flags. But there are plenty of other rides here that you can ride"

Guest- "No its here!, it should be right over that hill."

I tried to explain to her that that was Magic Mountain and not Knotts but she wouldn't listen. lol

 

2. I cant even begin to count how many different names guests have for Xcelerator. I have heard Excalibur, exhilerater, that pink and blue one, the cotton candy colored one, and a million and one other names. But we cant expect people that haven't been to the park a lot to know names. I just got a kick out of it every time.

 

I have heard so many other good ones but I'm just to tired to remember them right now.

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Arguing with my friend...

 

Friend- I bet I know more about coasters than you!

Me- Uh huh...

Friend- It's true! You don't know anywhere near as much as I do.

Me- Whatever, Davy. Just ask me anything about them.

Friend- Okay. What is that brown one at Beech Bend called?

Me- Kentucky Rumbler.

Friend- Haha! No its not! It's the Kentucky Rambler!

Me- Omg...

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While working at the Stratosphere:

 

"I know my kid is under the height requirement,

but can she sit on my lap on the Big Shot?"

 

John

 

^"Yes, yes, just as long as you sign this waver first."

 

I was at Holiday World a long time ago and a bunch of hicks wearing overalls and such passed by my family in the 4th of July section when I hear the little boy pointing at Paul Revere's Midnight Ride, "What's this thing-a-ma-jigere, pa?" I just about died laughing.

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