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Erik & Smisty & TPR do Holland, Poland, and Swedeland


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Part 3: Planes & Pierogi

 

The most intense day of the trip saw us visiting two smaller Dutch parks before boarding a plane for Poland.

 

I knew almost nothing about Drievliet, but came away having really enjoyed our short visit there. It was small, but clearly loved by whomever owns it--and also by me.

 

There's probably a lot of fun to be had at Duinrell, on the right day--but this was not the right day. It's probably better than I'm about to treat it, but it was still my least favorite park of the trip.

 

Most of the really weird stuff happened in Poland.

 

Energylandia feels like it's growing fast, but less in a thought-through way, and more in a game show shopping spree way. It was rainy and overcast the whole day we were there, so most of my photos will be super awesome if you're into the color gray. All of the park's rides had electronic wait signs that were (apparently) tied into a central system, so that you could see every ride's wait time from electronic boards throughout the park. Which sounds great, except that every ride was set to either zero or 10 minutes and never changed (either at the board or at the rides themselves) no matter what the actual wait times were. So, yeah. Still, we had a fun day here--though I feel like we maybe enjoyed the park more than most of our fellow coaster trippers did.

 

Legendia might not have been the best park on the trip, objectively--but it's the park I've thought about the most since the trip, and the park I'd most like to go back to right now. I just want to pick it up and kiss it on its little nose and call it George. But make no mistake: this mixed metaphor has claws!

 

Wait. What?

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The front part of Drievliet is aimed mostly at children, with a couple of full sized rides, and a distinct sea life theme.

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Yes, a grown up ride!

 

[Photo by Elissa (and not Robb) because I'm pretty sure I owe her one.]

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The track of Twistrix didn't do much, but the cars spun like crazy, sometimes for no apparent reason. Smisty was in heaven. I rode twice, in the sense that one ride is two full circuits. Plus, I alone cracked the code on why it's owl themed. (If you think you know, keep it to yourself. It's mine.)

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Just a little walk through of Old MacDonald's Farm. Well, more just his barn, I guess. But the song is about his farm. Look, you're overthinking this. There are animals and you push buttons and they make animal noises. It's not that complicated.

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The park's newest, and biggest, coaster, the not terribly large Formule X. I rode it, and it was okay. (This matters. But there will be a couple more parks before it really pays off.)

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The US is still on 4D. I feel shame for my country.

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The Spookmuseum dark ride was very classic, and in really good shape. Also, there is a hedge maze, and this park is really nice..

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Just a simple, model log flume. The building to the right houses its on-ride photo shop, some fun house mirrors, and a small arcade.

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Wet and misshapen.

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Kopermijn was wild in the very best way. Usually, I feel like the wuss of the group, but we loved this one, and almost everyone else seemed to think it was a bit too much.

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Drievliet has a little museum about itself. Not enough parks have something like this, and it's even cooler to see it in a really small park.

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You can't be considered a proper theme park in Holland without a pooping donkey.

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Duinerell is less a theme park, and more a campground with some rides. Maybe you're a fan of, say, Knoebels, and you're thinking that doesn't sound so bad. But in this case it was. Big trash. Bad bad beans.

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Okay, this looked pretty cool, though.

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Ever wanted to camp in an amusement park? And, I mean, IN an amusement park? Okay, sure, maybe so. And that's great for you. But what about me?

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Surprisingly, not Tennessee.

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I did like the way their three coasters were all painted the same woodsy color scheme and all intertwined with each other. Of course, I didn't ride any of the them because the park was extremely crowded and had no idea how to handle those crowds, but still.

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Note the splashdown boat and compare to the one in the next photo.

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Covered and non-covered options available.

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A lot of the trip participants just bit the bullet and waited in long lines for the credits. But that's not my style. My style is complaining.

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Fun story. I wanted to get a photo of this ride, but the cycle had just ended. So I got to watch the one ride op stationed at this ride let everyone out, go get a squeegee, slowly squeegee the water off of every single inch of the sloped concrete platform, almost fall in (twice), stand around for a few minutes, let the next group of riders in, and then slowly start checking their seats. The whole process took about 15 minutes, and I'm not even sure that it was entirely that guy's fault. The best part is that the fountains don't really even get the riders wet, just the platform.

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Happily, most of the campers were more interested in the thrill rides than the fairy tale / self-operated craziness section of the park.

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Boat jumping!

 

I thought about it. I even climbed into a boat. But when the little lapbar didn't come close to being far enough down to latch over my big fat belly and just sort of pointed towards the sky like a sharp pointy stick of impalement, and I started to consider what the green stuff in the water would do to my open wound as I sunk slowly to the bottom of the lake, I decided to give it a miss.

 

I'm not holding this one against the park. They get full credit for having the balls to even have this. I'm just too full of self-preservation.

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I went all the way to Wassenaar and all I did was not die!

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Duinrell is what I call...a cut rate park. (Yeeeeaaaahhhh!)

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Flying out of Amsterdam...

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...and driving through Poland.

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Energylandia is like that friend you have who's always bragging about having 14 roller coasters, but then you go over to his house and 10 of them are rollerskaters.

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Hyperion was good, though. Really good. The restraints weren't the best for me, but it was still probably my second favorite coaster of the trip.

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When is free not free? When it costs 25 zoltars.

 

This queue goes up a five story ramp for no apparent reason, does not cross the track, then goes down five flights of stairs to the station--either to save space, or to weed out Americans, I'm not sure which.

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A lot of our group found the outer seats to be rougher, but I didn't really notice that. Great layout, great ride, weird operations.

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Hey, it's me.

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"Speed" was even stupider than its name. The coaster part was slow and boring, and then I was sitting in water up to my waist.

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Well, since we're already soaked, we might as well ride the world's most boring rapids ride.

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Similar to, but legally distinct from, because it's a box truck or something, not a tractor.

 

Also, like, if there are no humans, why do they have steering wheels? It's weird.

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The bottom floor of this building housed a gift shop and an interesting-looking game in which you had to peddle in order to power your slot car around a track.

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The second floor was an Italian quick service restaurant that was pretty not bad.

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The third floor was additional seating and essentially an observation deck. Here we observe Formula, which is basically a bigger, better version of Formule X (covered earlier in this post!)

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The park's newest section was in soft opening and over there. Note the currently under construction Zardoz.

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The new area looks pretty nice--but, then again, it's new.

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Smisty had been looking forward to meeting Energylandia's weird characters for months. It was very emotional.

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Water Cups are very popular in Europe and unjustly uncommon in the US.

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7D??? Holland is still on 5D!!!

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This is Energylandia's "big" log flume ride. Yes, there is a smaller one.

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Highly enjoyable super-lame shooting dark ride. Like, seriously garage level.

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The smaller Splash Battle. This park has Cedar Point levels of redundancy. Also, lots of water rides.

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A big bucket of all the different ways you can fry chicken.

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I didn't actually ride it, but this ride caught my eye. The person on the inside seat has a steering wheel, which controls the back wheels, and the person on the outside seat has a gun they use to try to shoot a target on the back of the swerving car in front of them. Genius!

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The idea of a "Lights Motors Action" type show in Poland seemed too good to pass up, but was ultimately pretty disappointing. There was no story, but I had fun imagining that it was about escaping Alcatraz by car.

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The crowd's reaction.

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Damned dirty credit whores.

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Bitchin' souvenir, bro.

 

In other news, this was Gearhart's 600th roller coaster.

 

Wait, I said that at Walibi. Well, whatever. This is why you shouldn't count.

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Damn straight.

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I could've started with a photo of Legendia's entrance gate, which is lovely. Or of the cracky train station next door that I first worried was the entrance to the park. But it's me, so instead I'm going to show you a photo of this little dragon, which is listed on the map behind it as a thing--and yet, the map itself is not listed on...itself.

 

What was I talking about again?

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Legendia is a city park that encircles a fairly large lake.

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This building houses an eatery, gift shop, children's play area, and the park's dark ride, Bazyliszka!

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Two of those things I said. Bazyliszek!

 

Also, this park has Fast Pass. Or at least Fast Pass entrances. I didn't see machines for them, or points of sale anywhere. Or anyone using it. Maybe the signs were just theming. (I'd prefer that actually.)

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Grab your guns! Except they're mirror guns! Or something! It's all in Polish! And trackless! Bazkilishikas!

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So, a few days before this, if you'd asked me, I would've said that I might just skip this one. I mean, a weird-looking multi-looping Vekoma? Yeah.... But then I rode Formule X, which was okay, and Formula, which was good. And then Elissa mentioned that someone she knew at Vekoma had said something to the effect that if we'd liked Formula, we'd love Lech. So...yeah...

 

Coaster of the trip.

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Imagine what I look like when I'm not enjoying a ride.

 

Okay, so, if you can stop imagining that I'm pooping in this photo for a second, let's talk restraints. These were good, because the over the shoulder straps were soft and retractable/adjustable--which means that my hunched forward shoulders were secure but still comfortable. (I know, I know, I look pretty comfortable.)

 

As for the ride itself: It was nuts. Good nuts. Also, my nuts were good. As in, not squished.

 

I mean, now that you've seen this picture of me, I feel like there's nothing we can't talk about.

 

[Photo by Satan.]

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This shirt makes me think I'm say Lech wrong.

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I understand, Golderg. I understand.

 

Right after this photo was taken, he called his wife to tell her he'd found somebody.

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Diamond River is clealry an older ride, based on its air-hose activated restraint system and not-so-much-rolling-as-right-angle lifthill-to-level-to-dropping transitions. But the park has given it a nice new entrance, station, and gift shop.

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Apparently, a ski resort company bought this park a couple of years ago, and has been fixing it up and adding strategic new rides to it. And while it seems unlikely that we will be returning to Poland any time soon, I'm very interested in seeing where they go with it.

 

This caption really has nothing to do with this photo, sorry.

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I guess what I'm saying is: Don't go to Poland for Energylandia. Go to Poland for Legendia.

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Giant Water Pump might be my favorite ride name ever (and the name of my new band!)

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Dreamflight Airlines or some such. Reminiscent of one of those old Schwarzkopf rides, but built in-house. The oldest ride in the park, and maybe the longest! It takes forever to get up to speed, and just as long to power down, but it's super fun!

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The penultimate seat of the coaster in the background faces backwards, because why not. Some people rode it, and gave it such glowing reviews as, "It wasn't terrible," and, "It didn't hurt that much."

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Our per-arranged park lunch.

 

Erik Elness Beef Cake

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Ha-ha!

 

No.

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Holy...!

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Have you guys ever heard of object sexuality? If you haven't, don't look it up.

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The "Legendia" sundae. Quite good, but be prepared for maximum mango.

 

Wait, I'd like to change my band name.

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Goldballs surprises a ride operator by opening this unlocked control booth door.

 

Although, in his defense....

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This car ride is called, "Magical Postal Service." Which still makes more sense than Speed Dating.

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Lengendia's "Main Street."

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Part of Legendia's "Main Street" is a mountain climbing museum for some reason and I couldn't be happier.

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I just love this park so much. I wish we'd spent more time in it. Or that it was my home park except that I don't have to live in Poland.

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About two-thirds of our group left Legendia early to go on an Elissa-organized sub-trip to Auschwitz, but we opted to skip the depression tour and headed for Krakow's well-preserved medieval city center.

 

This is the train station. THE TRAIN STATION. Sigh.

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Because, Poland.

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There were lots of things we wanted to see in the Krakow area, but we only had a few hours for sightseeing, so we went with "walking around and looking at old stuff."

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Wawel Royal Castle

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Oddly flavored candies in a Polish grocery store in a mall across from an American Embassy.

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Sure, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with this.

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Forced perspective! Take that, Disney!

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Literally the only thing that stopped us from going in here was the 100% certainty that we would be murdered.

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A nice area of town if you're looking for a good time with somebody's sister in exchange for money.

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More our speed.

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Yes, it's a Polish board game cafe in a medieval basement!

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Pierogi and a board game.

 

(Technically, this photo was taken the next day at the airport, and it's my board game we brought with us, but it fits well here and as long as I don't say anything you probably won't notice.)

 

((D'oh!))

 

(((Do people still say, "D'oh"? Like, from The Simpsons?" They don't, do they?)))

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Well, kiss my grits.

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This is a "Teatr" and a nice photo and a good place to end.

 

Next up: Sweden (if we can get out of Poland!)

Edited by Electerik
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Awesome! Glad you got to see a lot of Krakow, or Krakova, or yeah. I never got the hang of Polish either. Did you get to go on the castle tour? The inside is incredible, especially the cathedral.

 

I get not wanting to go to Auschwitz. That stuff stays with you forever, especially the feeling of the place. Everyone knows its history, but when you're there where it happened and you can feel the just...factory vibe to the place, it hits you hard. Good on Elissa for putting the side trip together.

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Energylandia ... So, yeah. Still, we had a fun day here--though I feel like we maybe enjoyed the park more than most of our fellow coaster trippers did.

 

I think most of us enjoyed it, but it just wasn't necessarily for the right reasons... like when something's just off by a little bit and you can't quite pinpoint why, but it makes you laugh anyway.

 

Legendia was a pleasant surprise, and your trip report does a good job at pointing out their "very specific noun" ride names, which I also find quite amusing.

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Legendia was a pleasant surprise, and your trip report does a good job at pointing out their "very specific noun" ride names, which I also find quite amusing.

 

They had a ride called Sky Flyer, but on one directional sign, it was written as Sky Flayer, which is just so much more metal. \m/

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Sure, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with this.

So did you actually try Mike Tyson's shady energy drink? The TPR-reading public wants to know!

 

I think most of us enjoyed it, but it just wasn't necessarily for the right reasons... like when something's just off by a little bit and you can't quite pinpoint why, but it makes you laugh anyway.

I found both Poland parks we visited to be a little "creepy" in this way, especially with the background music tracks (with the exception of Hyperion and Zadra).

 

As a designer, Energylandia drove me nuts. I have so many "what's wrong with this picture?" photos to show my coworkers. Certainly some pretty good coasters though.

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I'll defend Hyperion, for sure. And yes, Formula was good. I didn't ride Dragon, because I couldn't be arsed.

 

But, hang on a second there, AJ. Legendia was "creepy"? How dare you, sir! Legendia is the bestest boy!

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I'll defend Hyperion, for sure.

I honestly wish I had ONLY taken my first two rides on Hyperion in the middle of the front and the middle of the back because I really enjoyed it. But then I got stuck on the end seats and it just rattled too much for my liking. I'm happy other people come away from it giving it a thumbs up because I actually do not think it's a bad ride at all, just the park needs to do better maintenance on their trains to bring the overall quality up to what the ride deserves.

 

But I do admit to looking at things from the perspective of "if that third ride I took (my worst of the five I had) was someone's very first and only ride on it, they would come away thinking it's a terrible ride." And I think the coaster deserves better than that.

 

The entire park was probably my biggest disappointment of my entire month park-hopping across Europe.

 

Edited by robbalvey
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But, hang on a second there, AJ. Legendia was "creepy"? How dare you, sir! Legendia is the bestest boy!

Honestly? It was the background music (weird, I know), and that there were a bunch of rides just sitting there in pieces. The park itself has a wonderful setting, it still has that city park feel even though it's a theme park now, and the management were so good to us. For those reasons (and Lech Coaster because it's amazing), I would absolutely still go there again.

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They definitely still have some work to do -- based on what we saw from the newer developments at Legendia, I wouldn't be surprised if some of those older / broken rides are on their way out. They aren't the full package quite yet, but they're on the right track.

 

Whereas Energylandia jumped the rails, if there even were any to begin with.

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Whereas Energylandia jumped the rails, if there even were any to begin with.

Exactly. There is nothing wrong with the calculated approach and I think that Legendia's doing great in that regard. It was too bad about the flat rides though, I hope that they can at least get that Flic Flac running again because those things are insane. Plus, they probably spent a lot of money doing the landscaping around it...

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I'll defend Hyperion, for sure. And yes, Formula was good. I didn't ride Dragon, because I couldn't be arsed.

 

 

I tried to ride the family coaster in the new "Dragon Land," but thought the restraint was going to strip the flesh off my legs, so I exited stage left. Didn't have a problem with the Vekoma suspended Dragon or Roller Skater, though.

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Part 4: Buses and Glassbombers

 

The plan was to gather at 4:30am, fly from Poland to Sweden via Amsterdam, and then spend a few hours at Liseberg before our full day there. Alas, the European heatwave caught up with us, shutting down Amsterdam's airport and sending lots of travelers scrambling. This was mildly stressful for us, but only mildly because Elissa and Robb had to do all the work. In the end, we flew out in several smaller groups, at various times, and while Misty and I missed the "half day" at Liseberg, we found that one full day was enough for us anyway.

 

In fact, I found myself not really digging Liseberg--at least, not during the first half of the day. I thought their coaster collection ho-hum, they don't have a dark ride (actually, their old one closed last year, and they are building a new one for next year, but my assertion still stands), their opening times for rides varied wildly (as late as noon, in some cases), and a few other minor annoyances added up to us thinking that maybe this park wasn't so great. However, after going back to the hotel for a nap and coming back in the late afternoon, we were able to experience all of the other things the park had to offer and began to enjoy it much more.

 

Kolmården is a sprawling, wooded and hilly zoo with large animal enclosures and a small collection of rides--the two most impressive of which are Wildfire (a "wooden" RMC) and an elaborate skyride with a view of animals.

 

Our final park of the trip was Gröna Lund--a city park that reminded me quite a bit of Indiana Beach (this is a good thing). If Efteling was objectively my favorite park of the trip, Gröna Lund was more "my" kind of park.

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Krakow airport woes. (Or, trying to shut this one down too by overloading its electrical systems.)

 

For the record, none of these belonged to Smisty or I.

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Flying into Munich for a quick layover. Which caused some debate: Does this count as having visited Germany? (In my opinion, no--even if you did have a pretzel at the airport.)

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At last, Gothenburg!

 

Up until this trip, I had never experienced an airport "bus terminal." I most certainly cannot say that now. One nice thing about the US, I now know, is that our airports tend to be much roomier.

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Liseberg is most definitely an amusement park. No themed sections here.

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Valkyria is the park's new B&M dive coaster. I liked the restraints, but hated the seats, which were rather check mark shaped.

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Valkyria was fine. Enjoyable, enough. I rode it twice. The mist-filled tunnel was really nice (especially considering how hot out it was) and the slow roll was different for B&M. Still, SheiKra remains my clear favorite in this category.

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Liseberg had some interesting games, like this one where you use a robotic arm to stack logs onto a rolling cart. (Or, as I like to call it, the Swedish Citizenry Test.)

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Liseberg sits on a really interesting and awesome-for-an-amusement-park plot of land, with the left half of the park being flat, and the right being the side of a large hill. The park's early rides clearly used this to their advantage, but the newer ones, not so much. To make up for that, escalators!

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Helix's queue is weird as hell. Long, angular, crossing over itself randomly. Somehow both hard to shortcut through but easy to get lost in. A real tour de force of bizarreness.

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Helix was kind of terrible for me, by which I mean the restraints sucked. Misty liked it, though.

 

This weird spinning kid's Ferris Wheel (center right) was great, though. (Toverland had one, too, but it was closed the day we visited.)

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Having given up on finding a proper restaurant that was open, we decided to give Max a try. mAx is a Swedish burger chain, so this is a bit like having a Subway or Panda Express in a Six Flags or Cedar Fair park. Still, maX was new to us, and we enjoyed it enough to go to another one in Stockholm a few days later.

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Kaninresan (or Rabbit River) was our second water cups attraction of the trip, and also ever. It was almost dark ride-esque, in that it had show scenes of wide-eyed green bunnies singing silently behind glass. Or perhaps they were bemoaning our ability as humans to eventually die. It's hard to say.

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Aw, crap, it's a Liseberg bunny and it's locked eyes with us. One of the group must now perish, for it is the way of things.

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This seems like a great idea.

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Balder. Okay. I'd heard a lot of good things. Some in our group really liked it. But, to me, it was just okay. Don't get me wrong, there was airtime, good airtime, several instances of it. But...every moment of airtime was almost exactly the same. And every turn was uninteresting in exactly the same way. Except for the first drop, every hill is 30 feet down, 25 feet up, and then followed by a boring turn. Repeat until you're at ground level.

 

Okay, let's put this is terms I can understand. Let's say I promised you the most amazing ice cream sundae ever. But then I just served you 10 scoops of chocolate chip ice cream. I mean, chocolate chip is great, right? Therefore, this is the best sundae you've ever had. You're welcome.

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This is Pontus. I understand that his job at Liseberg is just dealing with coaster enthusiast groups. Which sounds like the kind of job you get assigned in hell to me, but he was awesome. He let us into an off limits area of the ride and let us scribble our names on the coaster. So now I feel like a real jerk for not liking the ride more.

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We headed back to our hotel to take a nap. I'm not saying that our room was small, but....

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Much like the United States, Sweden also has buildings.

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Next to Liseberg was the Universeum. And since it was stupid hot outside and we weren't absolutely in love with Liseberg, we took some time out of our day to check it out.

 

I bet Chuck and Larry and AJ don't have this in their trip reports!

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Funicular #1 of the trip! (Foreshadowing!)

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The Universeum has several different "environments." This is the ocean-y bit. I probably didn't need to tell you that, but I did, because I get paid by the word.

 

I'm now being told that I don't get paid for these. Okay, let's try this again:

 

Water.

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My getting out of the heat plan seemed solid until we got to the glass-enclosed tropical rainforest part.

 

In other news, these stroller ramp death trap stairs are all over Sweden, but this one looks especially terrifying.

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Question: Can Smisty pull her hand away before the king cobra bites and kills her?

 

Answer: No. But don't worry, it's just a simulation!

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Space

 

I just now saw that little plastic bag there and I want to pick it up but that's not a sane thought because this was weeks ago and in Sweden.

 

Maybe I could call them about it....

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Back to the park in time for a TPR group dinner. And I literally can't name anything on my plate!

 

Well, okay, strawberries. And an orange slice. Lingonberries.

 

Bread.

 

I literally cannot name everything on my plate.

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This is a legitimate ice cream innovation. Imagine a hard-scooped ice cream sundae, except replace the whipped cream with soft serve. Why is the US sleeping on this?!

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Smisty enjoying the wave swinger while I photo things. Such as Smisty enjoying the wave swinger.

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Liseberg's Flume Ride utilizes the terrain nicely, and has a slightly unusual layout. It starts with this long lift, meanders part way down the hill side, goes up a second long lift, and then drops three times in a row back down to station level. No animatronics or theming, really, but it does interact with Lisabanana is a fun way.

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Exciting splash-down wall!

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Lisabanana and Blomsterkarusellen. Also, a woman looking at a horses butt.

 

I'm really happy with how this photo turned out.

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Smisty's favorite ride at Liseberg, and probably her favorite Tilt-a-Whirl. It was so good that she came and got me and made me ride it with her.

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A mirror maze I didn't discover until almost park closing.

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Lisebergbanan and almost the entire rest of the park from the Ferris Wheel. The first time I rode Lisebergbanan, I was disappointed. I'd really been looking forward to what Anton Schwarzkopf once declared to be his own favorite design, but it was unexpectedly janky. I'd ridden in the front seat, pretty early in the day, so I decided to give Lisebergbanan another shot at night, in the back seat, and enjoyed it much more!

 

Lisebergbanan.

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We are not blocking the view. We are the view.

 

So, yeah, in the end, I did enjoy Liseberg. A dark ride would help, of course, but that's coming.

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American coaster enthusiasts descend on the zoo. Well, not American Coaster Enthusiasts. Just coaster enthusiasts from America. Not all of whom were American, actually.

 

It's a zoo.

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I know this place like the back of Misty's head.

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The animal enclosures at Kolmården tend to be large and elaborate, which is great. But that also means that they tend to be spread apart from each other and can make actually spotting the animals within the enclosures somewhat difficult.

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The park's Bamse World kid's area.

 

Bamse is like Swedish Popeye, but a bear and he eats "thunder honey" instead of spinach and he's all about equality, not fighting over women like they're incapable of making their own choices.

 

Bamse is nothing like Popeye.

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Rector described this family coaster as having "a pretty good first drop" which really just makes me not want to hang out with coaster enthusiasts anymore.

 

(Okay, actually, he was kind of right. Dammit.)

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Man, they could at least clean up the dead ones.

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Mexican food at a Swedish zoo? Hell yeah!

 

I've never had such authentic Mexican pickled red onions before!

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This is like maybe a quarter of the tiger enclosure.

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At last, a zoo that takes misbehaved children seriously.

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Pretty nice dolphin exhibit and possible show arena. (I say possible because there was another stadium next door where the actual dolphin show was. It certainly looks like they could have them here, though. Maybe when the weather is bad?)

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Not getting a train in my photos of Wildfire is going to be a theme. But I got a Delphinexpressen one!

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Safari is the park's 30-minute Skyride, complete with automated narration (available in four languages, including English) and a view of animals, Wildfire, and Bråviken Bay.

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Okay, so how does Safari stack up against the Skyride at Busch Gardens Tampa? Well, it's longer, certainly. And it crosses over and under itself. Plus, the trees and the bay are nice. But I'm not sure you actually see more or more interesting animals on it. So, better, but not by a lot?

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Wildfire. I rode it. Once. You know how I feel about these things by now, don't you? It was less good than Untamed, which I also only rode once. So I guess I like the "steel" ones better than the "wooden" ones.

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The, um, "turnaround" of Wildfire and Bråviken Bay.

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You know what? This is better than Busch Gardens Tampa's Skyride. But I love them both.

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Ooh, ooh, a train! Ending the Kolmården part of this report right here.

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Gröna Lund makes me want to live in Stockholm.

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We start the morning with a presentation from Gröna Lund's park historian, Andreas.

 

What do you think he's explaining here?

 

a.) The park's new attraction for next year.

b.) The lengths people once had to go to see nudity before the invention of the internet.

c.) What to do when women drop their clothes upon learning that you are a coaster enthusiast.

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We then were led into a giant pit wherein the park's under-construction B&M inverted coaster's station will be.

 

So I guess it wasn't "a.)"

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We then got to ride some stuff before the park opened to the general public. Always nice to get some photos before everything fills up with people.

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AJ is dedicated to his craft.

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Jetline's cool funky curved lifthill.

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I believe I rode Jetline more than any other single ride on the trip. So, yes, I liked it.

 

Wow, a coaster Erik actually likes!

 

(Actually, there are two in this photo!)

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A games area, right after park opening.

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The park's traditional, yet rebuilt and modern, dark ride, Blue Train. AKA, the dark ride I rode the greatest number of times on this trip.

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Blue Train is everything I want to be.

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Note the tilting track. Also, the seats have a Bug's Life type thing going on. None of it makes any sense, and it's awesome.

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Look, I'm sure its theming, but I'm a foreigner here and I'm just not going to risk it, okay?

 

While we're on the subject, Gröna Lund has two really ostentatious restrooms elsewhere, but I didn't take a photo of them inside because that would be weird and I'm not a weirdo who takes photos of the insides of restrooms.

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Ha-ha, just kidding. Here you go.

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I'm pretty sure this is the same layout as a bunch of other junior Vekoma "suspended" coasters, but I'm also pretty sure that this had to be the first one and custom (at the time) just because of the way it fits in with the rest of the park.

 

House of Nightmares is a Sally walk-through haunted house which I didn't even know was a thing. Liseberg also had a walk-through haunted house that I didn't show because I AM MASTER OF ALL YOU SEE AND KNOW and also neither of these things allow photos inside because they have no confidence in their product (I imagine). Anyway, both were upcharges. Liseberg's was better, but this one actually had a semi-coherent storyline, so that was interesting.

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Run, Smisty, before the tree gets you!

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Pizza was pretty good. Also, I was able to get ice. Stockholm was much more understanding about this than anywhere else we visited in Europe. So, if you love ice, give Stockholm a go!

 

It occurs to me that would make a pretty terrible tourism slogan for the city.

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Ben & Jerry's. I know, boring, right? But no! Because there are flavors that you can't get in the States! Such as, "Totally Baked Alaska," which consists of vanilla ice cream with a marshmallow ribbon and bear-shaped white chocolate pieces, and is my new favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor.

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Oh right, rides. This is Vilda Musen, a Gerstlauer Bobsled masquerading as a wild mouse!

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First of all, I love that the park decorates its coaster queues with information about other roller coasters. And, secondly, this queue is not designed for Americans.

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A second coaster I like! And in the same park! Like most of Gröna Lund's rides, it goes over and around other rides and buildings and just wouldn't make sense anywhere else.

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Gröna Lund has two sections, the large section (with mostly adult rides) and the small section (with mostly kids rides). We didn't spend a lot of time in the small section, but we did ride this.

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Small section towers. I am art. (or maybe Smisty is. I don't really know.)

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Wait, so the star flyer is supposed to be themed to hot air balloons?

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Normally, I find star flyers both boring and kind of terrifying. But this one was neither because I was so busy looking at all the cool stuff below me.

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The only "water ride" at Gröna Lund, the tunnel of love.

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I tried to order a pretzel from these guys, but they just ignored me.

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Tunnel of self-love.

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The old school funhouse was really cool, but it was all in. No bypassing things you didn't want to do, like the one at Toverland.

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A very inefficient way of getting from one place to another.

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The funhouse ends with a cool double-down carpet slide.

 

Am I supposed to be making jokes? I'm sorry. I'll try harder.

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This restaurant is built on top of other buildings, because everything here is.

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In honor of our last TPR dinner, I took this photo of my food and not of anyone actually at this dinner.

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Gröna Lund sees your swing-ride-over-the-water, Indiana Beach, and raises you a castle in the distance.

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Twister was weird and a bit rough, but the restraints weren't terrible. (They looked like they'd be super awful for me, but they weren't.)

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Goodbye Gröna Lund, and goodbye TPR, but not goodbye Stockholm, and technically not even goodbye Gröna Lund, despite what I just said.

 

Anyway, stay tuned for the final part of our vacation, and then maybe one update after that, if I feel like doing something weird.

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Lisabanana

 

That's gonna stick. I'm never going to be able to call that coaster by its regular name again.

 

Bringing back some memories of the Twister ERT. It was running a bit rough, but we were having a blast anyway. Fun times.

 

Another great update!

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This was mildly stressful for us, but only mildly because Elissa and Robb had to do all the work.

And wonderful work they did.

 

Next to Liseberg was the Universeum. And since it was stupid hot outside and we weren't absolutely in love with Liseberg, we took some time out of our day to check it out.

 

I bet Chuck and Larry and AJ don't have this in their trip reports!

No I do not, but in my defense, I only ended up having the afternoon and evening at the park due to the plane snafu, and most of my time was spent checking out everything else. It's on the list for next time!

 

AJ is dedicated to his craft.

Or... Was I smart enough to skip the scary face-down drop ride? You decide!

 

Always a pleasure, Erik.

 

Lisabanana

That's gonna stick. I'm never going to be able to call that coaster by its regular name again.

I refuse to call Shamburgerandcheese by its real name either.

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