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Hey all, time for a new year, new Photo TR thread. Looks like Canobie Coaster beat me to the punch, so now you'll have two reports for your viewing pleasure from:

 

Dollywood

 

I live in Central Florida, but I realized on this trip that this is my 4th year in a row going to this park. That's a testament to how great this park is, and honestly in a lot of ways it reminds me a lot of the way Disney does things, in terms of creating an atmosphere that makes you forget about everything else and just relax, enjoy the place, and have a good time.

 

The entire Pigeon Forge/Gatilinburg/Sevierville area is sort of a Bizarro world version of Orlando's International Drive in a way. There's the same TGI Fridays and Applebees, a line of Marriotts and Days Inns, a Titanic replica and a Ripley's, but instead of being in the packed, hurry-up-or-you'll-miss-it atmosphere filled with people driving extended-length rented Tahoes on a Fiat 500 driving record that is Orlando, you're treated to country air, laid back attitudes, serene surroundings, and a 35mph speed limit. Which...I suggest you don't exceed, as on my second night in town, Pigeon Forge P.D. didn't let me pass go before slapping yours truly with an $83.50 ticket for doing 55mph in said 35mph zone. Oops. But hey, $83.50 for 20 over ain't bad by today's standards.

 

There are parks with 15-20 coasters that don't have as good a line-up as Dollywood's 8 coasters, all of which are outstanding. The food is amazing, the people watching is entertaining, there's shopping and shows to watch.

 

So, our first day at the park took place on Saturday, March 30th. I was nervously checking the Weather Channel app the days prior to my visit, and the way things shook out, Saturday was 75 degrees, followed by a massive rain and cold front Saturday night, in which there would be a freeze warning and a 40-degree temperature drop. I literally turn the heat on in my house if it's 60 degrees out, so I knew this would be the day to make the absolute most out of...

 

...As did everybody else. Hoooooooly sh*t. I've been to busy days at Dollywood before, or so I had thought. In a total of about 8-9 visits to the park in the past several years, I've had days where Fast Lane was necessary. Never have I ever seen it like this. Traffic to get to the parking toll booths was backed up about 1/4 mile on Veterans Blvd. In all, it took us 90 minutes from the time we joined the traffic jam, paid, parked, and walked to the park, foregoing what was at least a 15-tram line-up rivaling the Monorail line queue going out of Magic Kingdom at night.

 

I have to call the park out on this to be fair: they do not have a good system in place to handle this. They had all the parking toll booths open, but immediately after, it was the New Jersey turnpike at rush hour. 6 lanes going into one. Southern drivers, who adorn their massive vehicles with Trump stickers, stick figure families, and Salt Life, also can't drive or merge for sh*t. But this wasn't the end of it. When we finally wound up a few hills to lots I've never seen before, the park employees were standing there but not actively guiding guests where to park. Guests were parking and then walking in front of vehicles, cars were diverting down rows and then coming back out, creating more merge jams. The tram queue was spilling out to where cars were driving in to park. We ended up parking in some random gravel lot that I believe was the employee lot for Splash Country.

 

Since our legs work, we made the trek to the main entrance, which was about a 15-20 minute walk. Getting into the park took only seconds. However, minutes later, an absolutely heart-crushing discovery would be made. Time Saver and Time Saver Unlimited, had sold out. I *almost* bought Time Saver Unlimited online a few days prior, and I wanted to boil my face in one of the skillets in Craftsmen's Valley for my terrible lapse of judgement. See, last year, a few friends and I visited on a Saturday around the same time of year in the same weather conditions, and we had Time Saver Unlimited but didn't really need it, as even Lightning Rod was a walk-on by 6pm or so. My "wait and see" approach had failed.

 

A day like this, I might add, would also be a good opportunity for Dollywood to cash in and serve. f*cking. alcohol. I mean, I get it, y'all are good Christians up here in these Smoky Mountains and Prohibition and The South and yada yada, but you could at least make an exception and install a few taps or buy a few bottles of vodka for us card-carrying gays.

 

Mercifully, Dollywood decided to stay open an hour later, and I think a lot of people got fed up with the lines by about 5:00, so waits became reasonable later in the day. The shortest Lightning Rod's line would ever be was a posted 75 minutes, which was about 65 minutes in reality.

 

Anyway, this is probably the longest summary I've ever written so I'm going to let the photos do the talking now.

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Absolutely stunning scenery up here in the Smokies

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I honestly did not realize when I took the photo of the giant eagle, that the girl in the foreground had a tank top on with a giant eagle on it, too. Heyyy sis!

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Is this sign new? I don't even know. I've never waited for Thunderhead any longer than the top 3-4 steps. Today, the entire queue house would be full (of people and also wasps), and spilling outside of the entrance.

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Thunderhead's station fly-through feature is something I wish GCI still did. Always ride in the back row!

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I love the crap out of Thunderhead, by the way. It's a totally "out of control" feeling woodie and theres not an inch of straight track. It's insane laterals, perfect pacing, and twisted airtime all over the place. It's a very aggressive wood coaster, but easily re-rideable. I wouldn't call it "smooth", because it isn't, but it isn't rough nor does it ever cause any kind of jackhammering or unpleasant sensations at all. It's perfect and one of my favorite wood coasters.

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Mystery Mine seems to have no rhyme or reason to either getting a smooth, enjoyable ride or having your fillings shook loose and minor skull damage.

 

How would it ride today? Neither! It was closed throughout the entirety of our visit, but according to the Dollywood thread it has since re-opened.

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Did you think I was f*cking lying to you up there?

 

It's cool, you didn't read the narrative anyway.

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Pros of Wild Eagle: Some good forces, great views, good first drop, one of the oldest yet somehow still the smoothest B&M Wing Coaster

 

Cons of Wild Eagle: B&M inversion layout that's been done 100 times over, kind of slow in some spots

 

My photos aren't in chronological order, by the way, I took them at random so this PTR is kind of a "loop around the park"

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Pros of Tennessee Tornado: absolutely everything because it's perfect

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I wish Sh*t Flags Magic Mountain had gone into bankruptcy after X instead of Arrow.

 

This last Arrow Custom Looping Coaster is absolutely their best. A true treat of a ride, the mountainside mine shaft drop is one of the best drop sensations on any coaster. In the back row, you really get ripped down into it. The huge loops are great and you can't believe that you're in a classic Arrow train that you'd normally be doing "brace position" in.

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This photo can instantly cure any hint of erectile dysfunction in our older enthusiast friends.

 

Just kidding, that's definitely a medical problem you should talk to a doctor about, silly.

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When walking through the entrance, a few guests were walking back out and I almost had a heart attack.

 

I've been there, man, and I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from trips to the park with Lightning Rod c*ck teasing up on it's hill but closed, and those were dark days. Fortunately, today would not be one of those days.

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Walking past the "Lightning Rod", and into the main queue. It was a 75 minute posted wait at this time, down from 120 minutes earlier.

 

Hey, remember when people thought this was going to be called "Shot Rod"?

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Not only was it up and running, but it was two train operations all day long and I don't think it went down a single time.

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How do I feel about Lightning Rod?

 

Lightning Rod can jizz all over my face and I'd be sticking my tongue out.

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In case any of you pervs wanna know what Lightning Rod's ass is made out of.

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The "quad down" sequence everyone always talks about is just amazing. It feels like the train is going to go flying off the track on every single hill, but it's never uncomfortable like something Skyrush would deliver. Lightning Rod just feels absolutely nuts in the most amazing way.

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Like Tennessee Tornado, the end into the brakes is taken at high speed. I'm jealous of anyone who has gotten to take pictures on the other side of the mountain, because this ride is just pure bliss.

 

Is it my favorite coaster? Yes. I'm sort of indecisive, so it took me about a month to complete and submit my TPR coaster poll. Not because it's in ANY way complicated, but once you've ridden hundreds of coasters, settling on even a "top ten", resulted in me having like 15 coasters in my "top ten".

 

But what never changed was Lightning Rod, El Toro, and Expedition GeForce all being tied in my #1 spot.

 

If you were in a polyamorous relationship with these 3 coasters, Expedition GeForce is the attractive, steady, consistent partner with a good job and El Toro is the fun partier who rocks your world in bed. Lightning Rod is the manic attention-seeker who takes you out drinking all night, then sets your car on fire at 4 in the morning.

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We should all modify the front of our cars to be like this!

 

More to come, you crazy kids!

Edited by xVicesAndVirtues
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Great report!

 

I always go with the TimeSaver at Dollywood if Lightning Rod is running. I went the day after you and the longest line was just a half hour, but I had no regrets getting on Lightning Rod as many times as I did. I also like online how they say how many TimeSavers they have left on a given day so you can somewhat gauge crowds.

 

As for Thunderhead, I much prefer it up front.

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Thanks! I had no idea they stated how many TimeSavers are left. Do you know what the daily limit usually is? Probably won't be back until next year, but that's really good to know, especially as I'm trying to hopefully book an SDC trip within the next few months.

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nice report that I enjoyed reading (tho a bit too. . "sexual" for me in places, and I'm no prude).

 

great pics of a park that one day we'll get to go to.

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Thanks! I had no idea they stated how many TimeSavers are left. Do you know what the daily limit usually is? Probably won't be back until next year, but that's really good to know, especially as I'm trying to hopefully book an SDC trip within the next few months.

 

I think it's about 350? You can pick a random day and check on the site.

 

The thing they seem to run out of first is wheelchairs. I was SOL when I broke my ankle.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So, as I said before, we were in Pigeon Forge for the entire weekend. Saturday night, a massive cold front came across with a line of rain and storms, then the temperature absolutely plummeted for Sunday. Like, high in the 40s, low in the 20s with freeze warning plummeted.

 

Being Central Floridians, we decided to take it easy on Sunday and then make Monday our second day at Dollywood, when the high would be a more bearable 50 degrees.

 

Here's some of the other stuff we did in Pigeon Forge that weekend, plus more Dollywood:

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Saturday evening, as the winds picked up but before the temperature fell off a cliff, we decided to partake in some Mini Golf. This course also featured a cute train ride around the perimeter of the property.

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We had the place mostly to ourselves. We had less than 2 hours before the weather was going to report 100% chance of rain, so I think everybody retreated to the warmth and shelter of their hotel rooms.

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A look inside the train ride's tunnel

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Unfortunately, some of the holes that I expected to have better theming, such as inside the mountain, had none. But hey, we still had a great time

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As the wind was beginning to pick up and the threat of rain could be felt in the air, we decided to hit up Smoky Mountain Brewery. If you're in the area, I highly recommend this place or Calhoun's, which is also owned by the same people. Both are open late, offer reasonably-priced eats, and also have house brews with a good variety. Everything from a light lager to an amber to a piss ale for you vinyl record enthusiasts.

 

No sooner did we sit down and get our first drinks, the metal roof revealed the sound of a downpour outside.

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Our table came with a nice view of where the magic happens!

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Fast forward to the next day, with the deep freeze in the air, we were feeling festive, so we checked out the huge Christmas store

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Good thing I'm already on the naughty list.

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One thing I was honestly impressed with was the amount of little village models etc, and the details these had. There's even a wave swinger!

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Whoville was included!

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Despite the temperature, I was determined to get to at least one of the area's alpine coasters on this visit.

 

Last year, my friends and I attempted to ride Smoky Mountain Alpine Coaster on a Saturday night in July, only to find this entire queue full and overflowing into the parking lot.

 

Today, however, it was cold af.

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With about a 2-3 cart wait, we were out and up the mountain!

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One hundred sixty feet and climbing!

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This would be the last photo I'd take on the alpine coaster. Funny thing about altitude...as you go up, the temperature sure goes down!

 

The ride was great, but boy was it cold up there on this day. There were some great laterals and it was a decent-length ride, definitely worth the price, plus there was a re-ride special at a discount

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Word got out that I was on the naughty list, next stop was straight to prison.

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*Disclaimer* If anything said in my previous report was too much for you, the following photos and commentary may be. That said, this place does advertise as being "for the entire family"!

 

The first area at Alcatraz East Crime Museum is all about medieval f*cked up things people did to other people.

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Oh, just some leg irons, a whip, and a branding iron!

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A little history, plus the various infractions that could earn you an appointment with Dr. Pain back in Early America

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Some various items used in actual prisons in the past, including the infamous "Prison Strap", some shackles, badges, and cuffs

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And the ultimate in crime and punishment. This was the actual "Old Smokey", the electric chair used to execute prisoners in the Tennessee State Penitentiary.

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Monday morning would reveal snow-capped mountains, which was a nice sight to look at

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It was in the mid 40s when we arrived at Dollywood, yet some totally insane people were riding the river rapids ride.

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Dollywood is such a stunning park. The natural scenery in the mountains, in addition to pretty wood structures just brings it all together. Here's the famous Grist Mill where the legendary cinnamon bread is made. Unfortunately, as I'm working on the summer body, I had to skip that this visit.

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What a difference a day makes! This would be the longest Thunderhead's queue would get all day.

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I hate to say something as cliche as "they don't make them like this anymore", but Thunderhead is truly the superior GCI and feels far more "out of control" than the newer ones.

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A bored photo guy next to the Dollywood theatre

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Now this is a great sight to see.

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Anybody in this room? No?

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How about on this floor? Anyone?

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Wow. It doesn't get any better than a 1-2 train wait all day for one of the best coasters in the entire world. While a lot of the regional parks stick to weekend-only operations during the pre and post season, Dollywood is open weekdays! This creates a great opportunity to visit an awesome park in the spring with minimal waits.

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And that's a wrap for Dollywood!

 

I'm SO happy to report that Lightning Rod was consistently running 2 trains with absolutely zero downtime that I observed during the two days there. Hopefully the days of unreliability are behind them and we can all visit knowing this spectacular RMC will be there for us to ride. I'm already looking forward to my next visit to this extraordinary park. If you've never been here, what are you waiting for?

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Great report!

 

That's a bummer about the Prof. Hacker Golf Course. I was always intrigued by the train and the volcano, but the course in Amish Country had minimal theming on the holes themselves. It sounds very similar at the Pigeon Forge one. I'll stick with Hillbilly Golf.

 

Have you been on Gold Striker? That one rides very similarly to Thunderhead if you ask me.

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that prison museum is super interesting, and added to our list for when we eventually make the trip to Dollywood.

 

really nice pics, and great report -- even the mini-golf with minimal theming looks fun, that "train" is charming

 

 

Edited to remove remainder of post, as I misinterpreted the intent of what I was responding to.

Edited by bert425
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^^I think Gold Striker and Invadr are the only two US GCI coasters I'm missing. I'm glad to hear that Gold Striker rides that well! I really like Mystic Timbers, too, but it's more about fun airtime than the total insanity of changing direction every .2 seconds.

 

^The prison museum is awesome, they have a lot of legitimately-sourced artifacts from real prisons and crime scenes. I will say it gets very "text heavy" as the tour goes on (theres tons of walls with stories), but still very interesting stuff. Also, not trying to pick a fight with you. I wasn't putting a disclaimer to the censored profanity, I was referring to the fact that those photos are of real instruments-of-torture and/or punishment and execution that have been used on real prisoners in the past.

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but disclaimer: if you believe that using an expletive (and censoring it) is anywhere NEAR the same as, and I quote:

 

"Lightning Rod can jizz all over my face and I'd be sticking my tongue out."

 

yeah, you're kidding yourself.

 

 

but hey, I'm not a Mod, so my opinion holds no more sway that any other non-mod poster. . . I'm only noting an observation

 

"Disclaimer! You need a sense of humor to view our site,

if you don't have a sense of humor, or are easily offended, please turn back now!"- TPR on the bottom of every page

 

Awesome report! I agree with you on Thunderhead. I feel like that and Renegade aren't given the credit they deserve compared to rides like Prowler and Mystic.

 

LR is also one of my absolute favorite rides, probably my #1 when Vengeance's MCBR is hitting hard.

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but disclaimer: if you believe that using an expletive (and censoring it) is anywhere NEAR the same as, and I quote:

 

"Lightning Rod can jizz all over my face and I'd be sticking my tongue out."

 

yeah, you're kidding yourself.

 

 

but hey, I'm not a Mod, so my opinion holds no more sway that any other non-mod poster. . . I'm only noting an observation

 

"Disclaimer! You need a sense of humor to view our site,

if you don't have a sense of humor, or are easily offended, please turn back now!"- TPR on the bottom of every page

 

 

from Terms of Service post - stickied to the top of the forum:

 

 

3. Objectionable material will be deleted! This goes for any photos, files, posts, etc that include obscene gestures, offensive language, etc. Basically keep it clean, or, keep it "PG-13."

Edited by bert425
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^The prison museum is awesome, they have a lot of legitimately-sourced artifacts from real prisons and crime scenes. I will say it gets very "text heavy" as the tour goes on (theres tons of walls with stories), but still very interesting stuff. Also, not trying to pick a fight with you. I wasn't putting a disclaimer to the censored profanity, I was referring to the fact that those photos are of real instruments-of-torture and/or punishment and execution that have been used on real prisoners in the past.

 

My biggest regret from Philly is that we didn't get to do the prison tour there, as I love that kind of stuff. .and as you note, it's very interesting stuff.

 

fair enough on your disclaimer, I misread your intention, and will edit my above comment.

 

my apologies.

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It's okay, Bert, I have 'em permission to use the word jizz since it's in my title and I have that power

 

Great report! I share your love for all you mentioned about Dollywood, mostly Thunderhead in the back seat and it's so awesome how each of their coasters are just...quality. The sense of humor + story + pictures has made this one of my favorite trip reports this year! Looking forward to the next one.

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  • 1 month later...

Getting my 2019 season off to a great start, on the last weekend in April, I scored a pretty good flight deal to/from Richmond, Virginia. That meant that I could spend my Saturday at,

 

Busch Gardens Williamsburg

 

This was my first visit to this park in quite a long time, I believe my last visit was in 2012. Since then, there's been some major changes and shake-ups to SEAS management, in addition to two new coasters. Back then, Mach Tower was either new or new-ish, and still experiencing growing pains. How was the park holding up after all these years?

 

In one word: mostly great. I was happy to see that the BGW I remembered and loved is still going strong. It was pretty busy on this day, so we opted for Quick Queue, which got us on everything we wanted to ride multiple times. Also, the chain recently started selling Platinum passes for a great price, so we were able to upgrade our Florida parks passes to this new level and get the entire chain included. However, there were still some slightly hot-mess, Six Flagsy things we encountered that could easily be remedied with better staff training.

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Upon arrival around noon, it was clear that this was going to be a busy day. The parking lot lanes were all open and about 6-8 cars deep in every lane.

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After careful investigation, it has been determined that fun does, indeed, begin here.

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Upon entering the front gates, you go through the England section of the park, which is one of the most beautiful front entry areas of any park. As you can see, it was pretty darn busy this day.

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Before we even get into talking about the rides and coasters here, let this blurry photo remind us of how beautiful Busch Gardens Williamsburg is

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Moving on and across the bridge, in front of you is what may be the best coaster at BGW, Verbolten!

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Warning: A classic Porsche 911 Targa was harmed in the making of this ride

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"We're glad you've escaped zee forest!"

 

Early in the day, Verbolten was running only one station. Merging Quick Queue and the main queue was kind of a hot mess, as people grudgingly didn't want Quick Queue people to get in front of them. This could have easily been solved by the attendant just holding the line.

 

The ride, however, is really awesome. I rode it when it was relatively new years ago, but we got probably 6-8 rides this visit, all of which were totally awesome and I forgot how good this coaster was. The launches are great, there's some good forces, and the drop track in the dark is genuinely terrifying!

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An example of how this park's setting and theming just make it top-notch. The only parks I've seen that compare in terms of "park" quality of flowers, shrubbery, trees, etc are in Europe.

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We decided to eat inside the FestHaus, where we'd find another hot mess in terms of employee training quality. Both sides were open for this food area, but guests weren't being directed, so one side was completely full, the other completely empty. Then, despite being fully staffed, the employees seemed more concerned with having conversations and chilling out, and it took like 3-4 employees to decide who was going to actually help us.

 

The food, however, was of great quality. Unfortunately, I didn't get a photo

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On my last visit, Curse of DarKastle was still a thing. I knew it was gone, but seeing the empty building made me wish it were still around.

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Next up was the huge classic B&M invert, Alpengeist. The area around this coaster is so pretty, I wish I had taken a theming photo

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I know we're spoiled in our world of Jojo rolls, outward-banked hills, and crazy enlongated, hangtime-filled elements nowadays, but I really love a good vertical loop, and Alpengeist's loop is just f*cking massive

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So Alpengeist starts with that enormous drop, giant vertical loop, an immelman, and then a cobra roll that kicks you in the face so hard it nearly slaps you silly. The first half of this coaster is hard to beat. However, I've always felt that the MCBR just saps too much speed and keeps this otherwise great invert in the middle of the pack. Can we petition to replace the MCBR with a small launch or something?! If it went through the final elements the way it does the first half, this would be my favorite invert.

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Next, we walked over to ride Griffon, the only B&M Dive Machine to feature the crazy wide 10-across trains (I think).

 

When you ride an edge on this coaster, you're wayyy out there. To the point where, honestly, I was a total pussy b*tch and let my friend have the edge every time. No ma'am!

 

Also, this may not be the most popular opinion and I haven't been on Yukon Striker yet, but I think Griffon is the best Dive Machine. Griffon and Sheikra seem to throw you into the drop in the back row that none of the others seem to.

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Next, I'd finally get to ride InvadR for the first time. I went into this coaster with zero expectations, since it seemed to be universally panned on here. I loved it! We rode in the back row and it hauled ass through the entire course, kind of the way White Lightning at Fun Spot seems to. Really fun small woodie, plus the benefit of riding Gwazi trains on something you can actually enjoy!

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So, unfortunately, this is another spot I have to report a bit negatively on. See, here's the Quick Queue entrance sign for InvadR. We had Quick Queue, so we entered here. However, when we got up to the exit, which is where the ramp sends you, the employee there told us that "there's no Quick Queue for this ride". I pointed her to where the sign was, and she basically gave me a dismissive, tough sh*t answer of, "Well, it's not ready yet, come back next week and maybe it'll be ready then", and then told us we had to use the main queue.

 

We honestly didn't really care and it didn't bother us, despite the main queue being about 30-40 minutes, which we ultimately waited in. But...just in terms of customer service, they should've either accommodated us or this sign should have been covered up or not installed in the first place. We weren't the only ones that this happened to.

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At least the no-quick-queue-for-you situation had us walk underneath this cool monster statue cannon entrance thingy.

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This photo doesn't even need a caption.

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So, going into this trip, we knew we'd be there a week prior to Finnegan's Flyer officially opening. We saw it running with riders, so we excitedly made our way over to it, thinking we'd just scored a soft-open

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However, when we got over there, we found it to still be walled-off and they apparently were doing some kind of employees-only preview.

 

This was another example of questionable choices the park made. We rode Barnstormer at Dollywood a few weeks prior and there will be other Screamin Swings in my summer travels, but this ride is right in guests' faces where the bridge/platform viewing area is, and guests were confused trying to find the entrance, and I literally laughed out loud by a kid asking his father, "Can we ride that?", and the father replying, "No, son, they're just making us watch them ride it to tease us right now"

 

I mean, yeah, test the new ride, but maybe offer it to employees as a cast party after hours?

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On one side of this bridge, pretty scenery

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On the other side, loops

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We then made our way over to Loch Ness Monster. It's still running well despite being an older Arrow, when many Arrow loopers of the period are unbearable. However, that may be more due to the relatively simple, straightforward layout without much opportunity for coat hangers, sidewinders, and corkscrews.

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I've always been fascinated by this ride, ever since I was a kid looking at roller coasters on the internet. Even today, the sight of Loch Ness' interlocking loops is awesome

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We finally saw that the Skyride was open, after it had been closed down all day.

 

At Busch Gardens Tampa, we mostly ride the Skyride to avoid the third-degree sunburn walk over to Kumba. At Busch Gardens Williamsburg, it's an don't-miss for the great views.

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I wish Busch Gardens Williamsburg let you bring drinks on the Skyride. Hell, they should have a beer cart where you make your selections as you're getting loaded in. The Skyride here is so relaxing and you just go across half this beautiful park, unable to stop taking photos as you take in the scenery

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Approaching sunset, this was the best time to enjoy the surroundings

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Again, no caption needed

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I'll leave it at this view of Griffon from the Skyride. I think the only coaster I forgot to mention here is Apollo's Chariot, which I didn't get any good photos of. It's still running great and I'd still consider it one of the superior B&M hypers. The pre-drop is still amazing, the surprise drop at the end still surprising.

 

All in all, with Quick Queue and about 6-7 hours in the park, we got to ride everything we wanted 5+ times and still had enough time to eat, take in scenery, and watch some of the shows. This is a park I could visit all the time and you Virginia people are seriously lucky to have it. I can't wait to go back next year and ride the new 2020 hotness.

 

Oh, and one last thing: jizz.

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I'm sure any of you could've guessed where we went next on this weekend trip, as we weren't that far away from:

 

Kings Dominion

 

While it's not as well-themed as Busch Gardens Williamsburg, nor has it gotten some of the newer, festive, atmosphere-heavy areas Cedar Fair has been doing lately like the Boardwalk at Knott's or the more polished new areas of Carowinds or Cedar Point, this is still an undeniably nice park that has a unique setting of it's own. I actually like KD quite a lot.

 

Oh, and you may have heard, but their two best coasters both made the top ten list that you messy hoes voted for on here recently, and this park and Cedar Point are the only two parks to have done that. We know we're really spoiled when we can type away all off-season about "what park has the best one-two punch?", since Cedar Point has Steel Vengeance, Maverick, and Millennium Force. Kings Dominion has i305 and Twisted Timbers. Six Flags New England has Superman and Wicked Cyclone. Fiesta Texas has Iron Rattler and Wonder Woman. Great Adventure has El Toro and then you can ride El Toro again.

 

See? I just made you appreciate something for a second.

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Our rental car for this trip included a New York license plate, which immediately armed me with the power to drive like a total d*ck. But I'm actually from New York, so I do it properly.

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Cedar Fair consistently does a good job making sure the little things are taken care of, like signs, paint, landscaping, etc. You're always greeted to a fresh entrance, and that was the case here at KD

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They also conveniently have a Starbucks in the main entrance, which most major Cedar Fair parks do nowadays.

 

See, Six Flags, if you could just give us Starbucks and a little bit of paint and landscaping, we'd like you so much more.

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I would pay Miss Vanjie like $1,000 to just make a recording screaming "APPLE ZAPPE B*TCH!" and use it as my phone's message/ring tone

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Twisted Timbers was running super hardcore the day we visited. The airtime was violent and the transitions were jerking us around like a dom we'd just mouthed off to.

 

Translation: this sh*t is awesome

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I don't know what was more aggressive; these little airtime hills on Twisted Timbers or me cutting off the Virginians on I-95, all who seemed to left lane hog at 60mph in the 70mph zone!

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Category is: unpopular opinion.

 

The way they were managing the metal detectors/hand stamp/zippered pouch nonsense, I'd rather just be forced to leave my phone in a you-know-what. It was seriously a hot mess and took forever. The trains would be parked in the station so long that the second train would stack and a third could have made it's way around if there was one. It made our morning walk-ons take 15 minutes and the afternoon line take 40 when it should have been 5. The sunglasses rule was f*cking idiotic. I have fairly snug-fitting sunglasses and can wear them on i305 but not this without a strap on the back of them? Come on.

 

I'm glad to hear reports that Steel Vengeance is doing this outside the station instead of inside, because the metal detector nonsense would cause rows on the train to be empty while they figured out what the f*ck to do, further exacerbating the issues in the afternoon when there was more of a line.

 

If only Americans weren't such idiots, we wouldn't have to deal with things like this.

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AND WHERE THE F*CK ARE MY BALLS?!?

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Don't worry, we'll get to you soon

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Nah, man.

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Good to see that construction on the new Impulse Coaster is going well.

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...ladies and...gentlemen, start your engines!

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This, this right here.

 

I seriously believe that this is the best steel coaster in the United States. It's everything we don't deserve in a modern coaster. Speed, forces, amazing transitions.

 

Yet, the line is always short and even people who claim to like coasters say its too this or too that. I just don't get it. If anything, as it ages, i305 becomes more and more re-rideable. I get that if you ride The Voyage too many times in a row you might actually have a stroke, or that Skyrush too many times may cause an embolism in your legs from pinching you so damn hard. But this is just sheer forces. You're held in properly with the vest restraint, it's smooth, deliberate, it's just excellence. All you candy a$$ses can have your gentle B&M hyper rides. This is where its at.

 

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

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I always ride this when I visit the park. It's the only Mack Bobsled in the US and I love how the cars awkwardly flex underneath you as you go along the track. The minimal restraints combined with the flat, open vehicles just make this so different.

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Maybe not as picturesque as it was with Geauga Lake behind it (if thats what the actual lake was called), but Dominator is the hyper-floorless. It dishes out real forces, especially in the low-ground turns

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Big yellow loop? Yes ma'am

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The twisty first drop is a disorienting way to start a coaster! Like I said prior, Twisted Timbers was running really extreme this visit, moreso than last year when I rode the 2nd or 3rd weekend it was open. I love good, forceful coasters, and this and i305 in the same park is just great

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Artsy fence photo. We had a great visit to KD and I honestly can't wait to go back. Hopefully they'll fill in the Volcano space sooner rather than later. Thanks for reading!

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At Cedar Point, I didn't notice the pouches slowing down operations. It just seemed like it took a long time for the operators to check the seatbelts and lower the restraints on Steel Vengeance.

 

As for the glasses strap, I have no issue with parks requiring them, especially on a ride as wild as Twisted Timbers. I'm shocked the park doesn't require it on I305 to be honest.

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