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Photo TR: TPR USA Trip 2018


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We did get on Verbolten! Remember, one of the ride ops basically performed a hate crime on Alex!!!!????

 

Thanks for riding Invadr with me and LeScoot with KT!

Of course!

 

I couldn't remember the order it happened! Oh my gosh that was one of the worst things I've witnessed in a theme park. Unforgivable, Verbolten ride op trying to flex.

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Great report! I have no regrets visiting Busch Gardens back in April. I got all the beauty of the park and all the great rides, except the temperature was a very manageable 60 degrees. I've had too many visits to Virginia with heat advisories.

 

That meal looks amazing! I don't quite know if I could sacrifice meals at the pretzel place or Trapper's, but I guess I could eat a third time if you twist my arm.

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OMG I will never forget that! I almost snapped!

 

But if I ended up going off on him, I definitely would have been kicked out! "Ma'am stop screaming, we are calling security right now and you will be removed from the premises!" HAHAHAHA!!

 

In all seriousness, they were the worst park employees I have ever seen. EVER!

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Great report! I have no regrets visiting Busch Gardens back in April. I got all the beauty of the park and all the great rides, except the temperature was a very manageable 60 degrees. I've had too many visits to Virginia with heat advisories.

 

That meal looks amazing! I don't quite know if I could sacrifice meals at the pretzel place or Trapper's, but I guess I could eat a third time if you twist my arm.

Thanks! I definitely wanted to try Trapper's but was never in that area at the right time. It did smell great.

 

OMG I will never forget that! I almost snapped!

 

But if I ended up going off on him, I definitely would have been kicked out! "Ma'am stop screaming, we are calling security right now and you will be removed from the premises!" HAHAHAHA!!

 

In all seriousness, they were the worst park employees I have ever seen. EVER!

I imagined Jared doing a high kick to the face. Yeah so unnecessary. And the guy didn't even speak. Wtf?!

 

Looks like a great time. Hahaha, Exclusive Big A$$ Fan Time!

 

Thankfully there were 3-4 throughout the park. Much needed!

 

Loving the updates!! Thanks for taking the time to post them.

 

David

 

Thanks David!

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I'm just catching up on your TR. I'm glad you sent me the link or I would have missed it. I haven't been on the boards too much, recently.

 

SFoG: The giant ass pretzel looked awesome.

 

"Fury/Afterburn: The Park" - I've never had the BBQ at Harmony Hall, but I wonder if you didn't enjoy it as much, because you went to the good BBQ joint before that. I'm not surprised Fury became a favorite with a some of the other TPR-tourists. MF is the only hyper/giga coaster that comes close for me... If only Skyrush could get a clam shell equivalent.

 

BG-Dubs:

Get with it, bro. It's Boost Mobile. That's obviously supposed to be chrome!

 

Don't hate on Coors light! I switched back to piss water beers after years of micro-brews/craft beer always made me feel bloated and I tired of different levels between bitter and sour.

 

I agree with you on Apollo and I love B&M hypers. It grows on you if you visit again, though.

 

A couple things that surprised me about your TR:

No spoken love for LeScoot (my favorite ride in the park a notch above verbolten.)

No spoken love for the pretzels

 

It sounds like you had an amazing time with constant on the go activities. I think I would have needed a few naps in between all of the action. Looking forward to more updates. Great TR.

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Nice report(s)! (I only had time to catch up now)

And yes, we did suffer at Busch Gardens because of the weather. While we can't complain because, overall, it was pretty good for the trip (almost no rain) it was almost unbearable that day and I also felt like I needed a shower very badly when we got back to the hotel.

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I'm just catching up on your TR. I'm glad you sent me the link or I would have missed it. I haven't been on the boards too much, recently.

 

SFoG: The giant A$$ pretzel looked awesome.

 

"Fury/Afterburn: The Park" - I've never had the BBQ at Harmony Hall, but I wonder if you didn't enjoy it as much, because you went to the good BBQ joint before that. I'm not surprised Fury became a favorite with a some of the other TPR-tourists. MF is the only hyper/giga coaster that comes close for me... If only Skyrush could get a clam shell equivalent.

 

BG-Dubs:

Get with it, bro. It's Boost Mobile. That's obviously supposed to be chrome!

 

Don't hate on Coors light! I switched back to piss water beers after years of micro-brews/craft beer always made me feel bloated and I tired of different levels between bitter and sour.

 

I agree with you on Apollo and I love B&M hypers. It grows on you if you visit again, though.

 

A couple things that surprised me about your TR:

No spoken love for LeScoot (my favorite ride in the park a notch above verbolten.)

No spoken love for the pretzels

 

It sounds like you had an amazing time with constant on the go activities. I think I would have needed a few naps in between all of the action. Looking forward to more updates. Great TR.

 

Haha fair enough on the Coors. I don't know it just tasted meh. Which isn't what you'd expect since you're so close to the brewery. I will definitely get back to that area for BGW and KD again. I really loved both parks.

 

Le Scoot was a fine flume but it was so short. The views of Invadr were cool, but did they sacrifice a lot of trees for that? It just seemed like it was sitting on a barren area next to Invadr.

 

Pretzels were good, but not heavenly or anything. I wasn't expecting it to be as good as the ones a BGT. Are they supposed to be way better than other parks?

 

Nice report(s)! (I only had time to catch up now)

And yes, we did suffer at Busch Gardens because of the weather. While we can't complain because, overall, it was pretty good for the trip (almost no rain) it was almost unbearable that day and I also felt like I needed a shower very badly when we got back to the hotel.

 

Thanks! I should have another update or two by the time you check back in. You'll definitely be featured in my SFA report, haha.

 

Zach, great report. This was an amazing trip and Robb and Elissa went above and beyond with everything. Was great meeting you and everyone else on this trip and hope all are doing well since.

Thanks Phil! Nice meeting you as well. I can't believe it's been 2 months already.

Edited by PKI Jizzman
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After we left BGW, we arrived in the Doswell area around dinner time and that gave us the whole evening to just hang out and do whatever we wanted to do.

 

We picked out a sushi spot for dinner that had great reviews all around and didn't give us any reason to be hesitant about it. Look I pride myself on having an iron stomach growing up in Cincinnati with Skyline Chili, my mom's cooking and my dad's "let's use every marinade available" grilling style. I go visit small Mexican villages, Egypt, Istanbul, I have no issues. Well. Virginia style sushi f****'d me up, haha. There were 5 of us for dinner but I was the only one effected so I'm not sure what happened. Yokozuna Sushi was the place and it had everything you'd want in a sushi place - lots of good sake/wine offerings, beer offerings, the owner/chef slicing up fresh fish taking a break to play some songs on the piano

 

Day 6 - Twilight Zone Kings Island

 

Without going into detail, I declined quickly in the morning and ended up sitting out on ERT and spent more money on Vitamin Water at KD than I did on beer at any other park I've ever been to Big shout out to the security lead who talked baseball with me, helped me get some electrolytes even though the park wasn't open yet, and gave me some tips so I would get back to 100% as quick as possible. Also shout out to KT and Elissa for hanging out and distracting me from feeling awful.

 

So from 9-noon I just relaxed and took in the park. I had really been looking forward to Kings Dominion since I grew up going to Kings Island. I had never been to KD before and I really loved the park. Really loved it! The Candy Apple Grove might be the cutest name for a park area. KD seemed to have more original parts of the park still left compared to KI. The amount of shade was welcomed in the Virginia heat and I spent a good chunk of time sitting by the log flume.

 

While I really enjoyed that section of the park, there's the Dominator/Volcano/I305 area that provides plenty of evidence of where Paramount and Cedar Fair added on. If they could blend those parts of the park in with the rest of the layout I think the park would leave me with nothing to pick on. There were just too many stretches of pavement/no shade and dead ends with no bathrooms/food/drink spots that left me feeling like I had stepped into a completely different park.

 

I was happily surprised by the freedom of expression the employees had. I think the dyed/bleached haired employees were even with the natural hair colored employees. Did anyone else notice this?! I don't know if Cedar Fair has gotten way more lax of it's just KD.

 

The food was great! Rita's is amazing of course. More love for Hank's. The food was really fresh, the employees were extremely friendly, and the service was quick! All while it was down pouring and people were flooding in. Probably the best non-chain/generic food I've had at a Cedar Fair park. Everyone I was around seemed to like the Mexican food on International Street, too.

 

Andy once again showed off his skills and called out precisely when the rain moved in and when the rain moved out, which thankfully cooled things down to a tolerable level in the evening.

 

So how about the rides! I skipped Anaconda, yeah no thanks it just wasn't happening today. Same with Stunt Coaster and other clones I've already been on. I found some shade and hung out with my Vitamin Water instead. I think I had 7 or 8 by the end of the day haha.

 

Avalanche - I was looking forward to this ride since I had been on the bobsleds like Vibora and Disaster Transport, but not this type. It was fun! It was the first coaster I started the day off with and it's great to see a unique ride still up and running.

 

Dominator - Who else noticed that part where you exit the station and step down a few stairs - where it's not completely connected to the next ramp?! Most of us know this coaster was relocated and this was one part that Alex called out. It's a really solid B&M floorless. Not my favorite, not the worst. Wasn't as memorable as I hoped it to be.

 

Apple Zapple - It's a good mouse.

 

Racer 75 - Was running so well. The team that re-profiled this ride did a fantastic job bringing it back to life. There was airtime, it was smooth, it looked good.

 

Grizzly - It's amazing what they did to Racer 75, so hopefully the same team can give some attention to Grizzly. I'm usually very tolerant of rides with a rough reputation, but Grizzly needs some help. I rode the front seat at night and it had some obvious rough patches. The layout is so basic and compact it's pretty much a bigger version of the junior wooden coaster but it could be a fun night ride for the family if they fixed it up!

 

Flight of Fear - I had to try this one to see how it compared to Kings Island's. The only difference I noticed were the creatures in the station. There's no difference in MCBR strength or smooth/roughness IMO.

 

Intimidator 305 - I was actually nervous for my first ride. I've been reading about the intensity of this coaster ever since it has been built and I saved it until the evening when I was back to feeling 100%. It delivered and it kept getting better and better with each ride. I enjoyed the front (row 2) the best! This ride deserves all the hype and it kicks your ass no matter how young or old you are. The turn around into the first hill will have you feeling like you're in Hollywood because you will be seeing stars! I was taken off guard with how great giant sustained airtime hill is. From there it's really hard to put your hands up because the following series of twisty bits taken at those insane speeds are not to be trifled with. Even though the trim tries to slow you down at the end you're still hauling ass into the brake run.

It's absolutely one of my favorite rides on the planet and my only gripe is how they handle the front row. You can't access the front row from Fast Lane because it has its own queue and it extends out from the station to the regular queue. It was a 5-10 minute wait for any other row, but dispatches were 5 minutes, so it's easy to see how it only takes 30-40 people to create a painfully long wait. It was 60-90 minutes for the front as the op and I counted out how many people were waiting in that line. If the front row queue was shorter maybe it's encourage people to pick other rows?

 

Twisted Timbers - Thiiiiiiis RMC. This guy. This was one of the few roller coasters that tested my limits. It's so aggressive and the airtime is so strong. Similar to Skyrush, I think the more I rode it the more I became tolerant to the airtime. The barrel roll drop was amazing and felt different than Storm Chaser, the trio of airtime hills were outstanding, and that whole stretch of ...how to explain it (At this time stamp - https://youtube.com/XGavn7bCuOM?t=192)... the airtime trick track, quick airtime hill, then that U turn with the airtime hill somehow fit in was just crazy! And it all worked so well. So smooth. I thought Twisted Timbers was the most intense coaster of the trip because of how much extreme airtime was packed into the layout. There's not an inch of the track that was left out! I couldn't pick if I liked the front middle or back the most. It was just that good!

 

Drop Tower - I was impressed with the difference between KI's original gyro drop (1999) and Kings Dominion's V2 gyro drop (2003). KD's doesn't spin, but the carriage works so quickly and efficiently it's taken to the top and dropped all around a minute. It's got a lower/shorter(?) set of brakes which result in a longer fall. KI's ride cycle is double or triple because it takes so much longer to go up and drop. Gotta love the better capacity, longer/faster fall, and the speaker at the top allowing the ops to mess with you.

 

Log Flume - I loved the old school feel to this flume. It really felt like it was one of the first ever built. It was a leisurely ride and didn't get me too wet. This was a great flume! Watch out for those water bombs after the final drop.

 

Our ERT session on Twisted Timbers was really special. The ride ops were having a ton of fun with us, there was heat lightning in the distance which gave an ominous vibe, and there was just so much energy. I think everyone was on the same page in that TT is a world class coaster. Each lap just seemed to fuel us

 

Thanks for reading!

-Zach

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This is now a cursed image.

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The closest we can get to Tomb Raider:The Ride in 2018. Sad.

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Guys I'm coming back to life!!! Thanks Alex Pope!!! for the photo.

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This is probably my favorite photo of the trip. Look at that blush on Michael's face! Hhaha. (Chase photo credit!)

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Gentleman....START YER ENGINESSSS!!!

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Intamin water fountain keeping the wheels cool.

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This ride is just fantastic. One of the best on Earth for sure!

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Michael, Allison, Chase, Joao all super pumped for our make shift ERT session on I305. It was only a 5 minute wait all night!

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One huuuuuge sustained airtime hill before you hit top speeds and get twisted.

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Row 2 ftw!!!

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This is the best Drop Tower.

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Playing the spectator's role but enjoying this majestic view at 8am. We have a long day ahead!

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How was Grizzly's Beast impression? Not good. But a solid attempt.

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Guys how was it?!!?

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I'm getting flashbacks to Valravyn with this angle.

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Dominator is a great modern day looper.

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This seems like a great spot to sit and drink 3 Vitamin Waters.

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Look at those pretty trains. This ride is all around stunning and fits in so well. Excellent job KD!

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I'm not at Kings Island anymore. I really loved this side of the park.

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I'm so happy to be here!!!

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Doesn't it look stunning?! (Albert photo credit!)

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TT is so wild I couldn't stop laughing to look at the camera.

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Not once could I time the camera right. Robb and Joe are experts!

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Thank you Kings Dominion crew! We love you and your great park!!! (Robb photo credit!)

Edited by PKI Jizzman
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Awesome report!

 

I'm not sure what happened to Grizzly from the start of the year to now, but I've seen a lot of reports recently saying that ride was pretty rough this summer. I've always found it to be a really enjoyable wooden coaster with a nice setting in the woods. It was running as good as usual in April.

 

Wow Twisted Timbers looks even faster in that POV and I already thought the airtime was really strong back in April. I'll need to return in the summer at some point.

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I knew you weren't feeling well at KD for the morning filming, and heard whispers about it being "Virginia Sushi". . . but damn, that sushi boat looks good!

 

Glad you recovered, and had such a great day. You aren't alone on finding Grizzly rough, tho I thought it wasn't bad at all.

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Damn, sorry to read you had a run in with the sushi! Even as fresh as it can be done,

sometimes "stuff" can happen, unexpectedly. You just proved that, I guess.

 

It does look like, however, you had a good morning support team with the security person,

and Kristen and Elissa around.

 

Good KD report there. Looking forward to more of the Tour. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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I was happily surprised by the freedom of expression the employees had. I think the dyed/bleached haired employees were even with the natural hair colored employees. Did anyone else notice this?! I don't know if Cedar Fair has gotten way more lax of it's just KD.

 

I think it's that part of Virginia. Kids are running around with some pretty wild haircuts, which are usually greasy and some shade of green or blue.

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Another great TR, Zach. But, how dare you skip those valuable credits, despite being clones.........

 

I also remember i305’s dispatches being painfully slow when waiting for the front row. And, if Twisted Timbers is storm chaser 2.0 I’d probably be one and done, with a lot of indifference. Just like SV.

 

I’m glad you made a good recovery from fish poison. I was surprised to hear that portion of your trip report, since it looked like you were having a blast on Snapchat.

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Grizzly is slightly rougher than optimum this year, which I prefer it by far to Rebel Yell when it's not racing or the operators aren't properly racing it. It appears that half the airtime on RY was bumps, which are now gone. The park has been going back and forth on maintenance on those two since before the 2009 season (Hurler was their smoothest fullsize woodie in 2008 by a small margin).

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Ahhh yes, Kings Dominion had a pretty potent mixed drink at that weird bar out in the middle of nowhere that looked like a stage when I was there this year. I mean, it was just a splash of blue Vitamin Water, but I like to tell myself it helped after a couple

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It was Alex Pope with that Avalanche shot, but Franklin has the slomo video somewhere. How did I get that mixed up, of course Franklin was filming me

 

Awesome report!

 

I'm not sure what happened to Grizzly from the start of the year to now, but I've seen a lot of reports recently saying that ride was pretty rough this summer. I've always found it to be a really enjoyable wooden coaster with a nice setting in the woods. It was running as good as usual in April.

 

Wow Twisted Timbers looks even faster in that POV and I already thought the airtime was really strong back in April. I'll need to return in the summer at some point.

 

Sounds like this can happen to any wooden coaster over 10 years of age. It might start the season off well but by the time July/Aug comes it's worn down quicker.

 

Awesome report, love this park so much. You missed out on Anaconda, IMO, my one ride on it was weirdly smooth for a coat-hanger Arrow. I still don't understand it.

That's good to hear! It just wasn't happening that day, especially when I305 is right there. I couldn't justify leaving it for an old Arrow, haha. Next time!

 

I knew you weren't feeling well at KD for the morning filming, and heard whispers about it being "Virginia Sushi". . . but damn, that sushi boat looks good!

It looked good and tasted great

Damn, sorry to read you had a run in with the sushi! Even as fresh as it can be done,

sometimes "stuff" can happen, unexpectedly. You just proved that, I guess.

 

It does look like, however, you had a good morning support team with the security person,

and Kristen and Elissa around.

 

Good KD report there. Looking forward to more of the Tour. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

Definitely. It was still one of the best days of the trip despite my morning so that says a lot about the park and people I was with!

 

Another great TR, Zach. But, how dare you skip those valuable credits, despite being clones.........

 

I also remember i305’s dispatches being painfully slow when waiting for the front row. And, if Twisted Timbers is storm chaser 2.0 I’d probably be one and done, with a lot of indifference. Just like SV.

 

I’m glad you made a good recovery from fish poison. I was surprised to hear that portion of your trip report, since it looked like you were having a blast on Snapchat.

 

Thanks! Yeah I'd suggest trying TT in the middle for the first ride whenever you get there, but it might not be your ride. It doesn't matter the obstacle I run into, I am able to rebound haha. BUT MAYBE THAT WAS THE SECRET ANTIDOTE. THE MISSED CREDITS! Ahhhhhhhhh

 

Great report! Yeah... I've purchased my fair share of $5 Vitamin waters from Kings Dominion too.

Thanks! That handy dandy Platinum pass probably saved me $10 by the end of the day haha.

 

Ahhh yes, Kings Dominion had a pretty potent mixed drink at that weird bar out in the middle of nowhere that looked like a stage when I was there this year. I mean, it was just a splash of blue Vitamin Water, but I like to tell myself it helped after a couple

 

I'll be on the look out for that next time!

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It was Alex Pope with that Avalanche shot, but Franklin has the slomo video somewhere. How did I get that mixed up, of course Franklin was filming me

 

Awesome report!

 

I'm not sure what happened to Grizzly from the start of the year to now, but I've seen a lot of reports recently saying that ride was pretty rough this summer. I've always found it to be a really enjoyable wooden coaster with a nice setting in the woods. It was running as good as usual in April.

 

Wow Twisted Timbers looks even faster in that POV and I already thought the airtime was really strong back in April. I'll need to return in the summer at some point.

 

Sounds like this can happen to any wooden coaster over 10 years of age. It might start the season off well but by the time July/Aug comes it's worn down quicker.

 

 

I also could just have a high tolerance considering I had no issues with Voyage on Labor Day weekend or Boulder Dash ever.

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It was Alex Pope with that Avalanche shot, but Franklin has the slomo video somewhere. How did I get that mixed up, of course Franklin was filming me

 

Awesome report!

 

I'm not sure what happened to Grizzly from the start of the year to now, but I've seen a lot of reports recently saying that ride was pretty rough this summer. I've always found it to be a really enjoyable wooden coaster with a nice setting in the woods. It was running as good as usual in April.

 

Wow Twisted Timbers looks even faster in that POV and I already thought the airtime was really strong back in April. I'll need to return in the summer at some point.

 

Sounds like this can happen to any wooden coaster over 10 years of age. It might start the season off well but by the time July/Aug comes it's worn down quicker.

 

 

I also could just have a high tolerance considering I had no issues with Voyage on Labor Day weekend or Boulder Dash ever.

 

I was going to use Voyage as an example as that's a ride I've only ridden in May and I hear awful things about it in July/Aug, haha. I'm right there with you since I grew up with SoB, Beast, Vortex, Face/Off, etc. I think the only time I have issues with wooden coasters is when there are sudden jolts. Grizzly had some serious jolts that had me thinking I was going to bounce out of my seat into the woods quicker than a Virginian can skin and gut a deer.

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Day 7 - Six Flags America

 

Guys I was looking forward to SFA. I'm not joking you. It was a quick visit and I had a plan - ride Wild One, Superman, and check out the weird slides in the water park on a beautiful summer day.

 

Is that the sound of booing because I'm skipping more credits? I have my own priorities. The ex-Tony Hawk themed old school Half Pipe, tube-speed slides without tubes, terrain/woodsy body slides, drop pods, and brand new extreme lazy river seemed much more exciting than a SLC, old GCI, Vekoma Flyer, etc. Plus, all of the slides were included on the Flash Pass! Score! All I need is a couple hours!

 

That plan sounded alluring to Michael, Andy, Allison, and Chase so we all planned to hit up the waterpark after the coasters.

 

First impressions of the park were surprisingly great! We got our Flash Passes, headed over to Superman, and were even given a short cut tip by one of the locals that overheard our conversation. Whaaaaaat is happening? Drake and J Cole was playing through out the park on our walk over. Okay, this is cool. We made a stop at Joker, which was fun! I had been on the indoor and outdoor version of this coaster before so it was nothing new to me.

received_2204981723064870.thumb.jpg.65431419f14f3a1d2e049a802bdaa746.jpgMy last name is Boothe. I'm a security booth. Get it?

 

On over to Superman there were 2 trains running and the op was busting his ass. I am pretty sure there were only 2 ops running the ride and they were doing their best.

 

So let's pause for a second. So far:

*The GP are friendly

*The ops are doing their best

*Solid music playing throughout the park

 

Good things happening and I haven't even stepped into this waterpark yet, this is excellent.

 

The Superman op desperately needs a microphone. Six Flags if you're reading this please help the guy out. He had to shout to the whole station his spiel and that's not good for the guests or for the guy's voice. He was being as nice and polite as he could despite the situation.

 

Superman was great! I only rode in the front seat and I thought it maintained its speed well and was more fun than a B&M hyper coaster. Yeah, even with the straight bits and helices. There's just something about those Intamin trains that elevates the ride experience for me. I'm probably in the minority here since the side bars don't effect me so I didn't notice the difference between the regular T bar and the Six Flags T bar. The first drop was great, there was airtime on the second half, and it is smooth.* I didn't ride in the back, where reports were different.

20180729_121004.thumb.jpg.48d235857dc54bd743b9eda1d2b9f44b.jpgBefore!

20180729_121013.thumb.jpg.2a76eb56159e9f32b5bcafbc0bcae803.jpgAfter! Come on guys, stick to the front seat

received_10160756744040370.thumb.jpg.c1fa63a3a452eb22bb6901dc743004b8.jpgBeautiful shot from Robb's video.

 

On over to Wild One I was really starting to think that this park had turned a corner until I stopped to get some water. Oh man, the drinking fountain water was foul. And this was reported in more than one location.Guess I'll stick with Powerade. At this time it was also being reported that the food service was probably the worst experience you could ever encounter, so I planned on having my delicious TPR snacky snacks for lunch when we got back on the bus.

 

Wild One wasn't that bad. It had some funky airtime and didn't kill me, but I had higher expectations since this ride is apparently pretty great when it's running well. The trains were interesting and seemed to have extra cushion in them but it didn't make much of a difference. That was that last ride to check off on the dry side of the park for me, but I stuck with the group for a lap on Ragin' Cajun before we headed to the water park.

20180729_123925.thumb.jpg.1a765f7ed8563285132bfd0e92d7b117.jpgWe're a wild group acting wild on Wild One!

sf.thumb.JPG.ce019db52fefcdbb84a8cf86a44638a8.JPGNote to self, take more pictures of Chase and Michael next trip

Screenshot_20180921-100657_Instagram.thumb.jpg.a3a24979bc15ac97ec75d1b8db2b7928.jpg"If I don't make it back take care of my camera.."

 

The weird lap bar of the car almost smashed our heads as it came down as we were trying to get in and got stuck in a half open position so they had to bring out this portable car battery to re-open the restraint. I didn't remember that ever happening at SF Great America, haha. Of course we got out brains melted by this spinning mouse.

 

Waterpark time! And this is the part where my Six Flags day started to lose Flags. The main bathroom/changing room was disgusting and it was hard to get privacy to change. I only had to be in there for a minute but even that was too long. I already had my suit on, so I didn't need to change. The changing booths were barely covered up by a shower curtain and most were barely hanging on by 1 or 2 rungs. It probably made it very difficult to change.

 

The locker situation was easy and we were able to put our stuff away quickly and cost effectively before we were ready to slip and slide. Let's put our Flash Pass to use. Oh wait. The kiosk to queue up a slide isn't working. Hmm let's find another one. Oh, this one isn't working either. No help from any type of employee on finding a working kiosk so I guess we'll just have to wait in the regular line. None of the lines looked bad so maybe we won't get on all the slides but it's fine.

 

The new Wahoo River was nothing like they depicted in the announcement:

Water arches, sprays, geysers, surging waves, waterfalls, leaky pipes and dumping buckets will offer thrilling watery fun. Themed splashing waterfalls:

Along your journey, you'll encounter themed rockwork waterfalls to give you a drenching! Wahoo River is bigger, better and wetter in every way! Enjoy hours of fun, sun and laughter.

Well, the important thing is that it was clean and refreshing. Maybe they'll add the details later but outside of a few little water buckets and one part with a very tame increase to the flow of the lazy river it was as stripped down and as bland as you can get.

The only thing in this attraction that got my heart pounding was when a child near us decided to play opossum and go face down in his inner tube. It's okay, even though he scared the shit out of me and his sister, he was "just playing dead". Hilarious, kid.

 

The drop pods were a walk on and holy crap were these too intense to enjoy. They were not the straight down shot, they were like a corkscrew that tossed you from side to side while scraping your back. I'm pretty sure Allison will never try another because of these Damnit SFA! This day got off to such a great start!

sfaaa.jpg.59cc5c8a60a54f3d7f762fbcac0aa6ae.jpg

 

We looked on the other side of the waterpark for a working kiosk for Flash Pass because the slide lines were building with no luck, so we enjoyed the wave pool for a bit before checking out the body slides. They were old school fun and smooth! Only 3/5 were operating, meh.

sfa_3.thumb.jpg.6a1f95313855b57c65650a9dde402690.jpg

 

Chase met up with us and we FINALLY found a working kiosk (next to another dead one) towards an unexplored part of the water park. Andy this is the part where I call on you to tell the kid's slide race with Michael That was hilarious.

sfaa.thumb.jpg.88cf20e19118e315fbd020da4b94b881.jpg

 

We put the Tornado in the queue and went over when ready. The FP perk lets you go to the front of the "get your tube here" line, but the employee directing people to come get the tube is across the pool, leaving you to ....kindly ....cut the line/explain to the GP that you have a FP and you're next. You can imagine how well that's received!

 

Thankfully we got eye contact from the life guard across the way who waved us over to get the tube.

 

Well, this wasn't your ordinary ProSlide cloverleaf tube, it was a little....flat The guy shrugged it off when we asked if we're cool to use it and we weren't about to stand around and take more heat from the rest of the people waiting in line for tubes...so away we go!

sfa_4.thumb.jpg.15e17e16b8c216a8fa5e4777fb635051.jpg

(And we're still trying to hold it up in this picture, so just imagine it a bit more saggy)

 

Once Chase and I get to the top and set the tube down in the water, the guard up top looks at us funny and we burst out laughing. She says "When you get to the bottom, tell (insert guy at the exit pool's name here) that (insert girl at the top's name here) said 'PULL THIS TUBE OFF TO THE SIDE!'"

 

So, how did it go?

 

There was just enough air in the tube to keep me @$$ from riding on the bottom of the slide, but there were a couple points where I thought I might break my tailbone, haha. It was a great ProSlide Tornado and we got some serious altitude on the side of the funnel. It was slightly terrifying, but endlessly funny and absolutely one of the most memorable parts of the trip.

 

And yes, the guard at the exit pool laughed and put the tube out of commission when we got to the bottom and relayed the message.

 

By that time there was only an hour or so until our departure time, so I got in the short line for the half pipe.

The op at the top was having an absolutely blast punting people down the slide and spinning tubes at random. This slide was AMAZING. My heart popped out of my chest as the guy blasted me off the platform by swinging on the bar and I got really far up the other end of the pipe before going backwards. It was a one of a kind SFA experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Thanks for the memories 0 f*cks halfpipe slide op!

Screenshot_20180921-100753_Instagram.thumb.jpg.2c66c757838bd4b8f1bf76671993b4a6.jpg

Screenshot_20180921-100756_Instagram.thumb.jpg.27a3bc281f7e1a2fe7a01d4dab1c0fa6.jpg

 

Upon meeting up with the rest of the group, I encountered Mr Goodwin in a jovial mood who told me about the excellent service at the New Orleans bar. Cody expressed interested in going to check it out and we had just enough time so we briskly walked over. I met the famous bartenders, got compliments on my tattoo, told them I wished I had more time to chat with them, but I only had enough time to get one of her special sangrias. It was just what I needed after flailing around in the waterpark all afternoon and that is when we'd head out.

 

All in all SFA has the rides, slides, and layout to be a really solid park in the future. They're doing their best to upkeep the park, add new attractions, and encourage their regular guests to be on their best behavior. That's a unique challenge not many parks have to deal with and I honestly don't know the best way of going about it. Keep up the good work SFA. With all that being said, it wouldn't shock me if the park closed in 5 years. As much as I'm trying to be positive about this park, there are a lot of flaws that I could see putting a nail in the coffin.

 

Thanks for reading!

-Zach

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