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The Ytterbium Analysis

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Yinz Ready for This?


August 2018


Day 1: Driving at Night/State Fair


I was driving at night in the cool of the night, getting ever farther from home. Soon it would be light, shining ever so bright, shining on the capitol dome. Which means I was practically there at the Kentucky Fair! Haven’t had this feeling all year! It was just past the bend, past the very next bend, yes the very last bend! I got the old jalopy in gear.


I’m here! I’m here! I’m here! I’m here! I’m here!


This was my first trip to the Kentucky State Fair, and I’ll bet dollars to donuts it’s the best state fair in this state. It was huge! I had been to Kentucky Kingdom a couple of years ago, but since the time I could get off work just happened to coincide with the fair dates, I decided to make it happen. I was not disappointed in the fair itself, and it served as a great first day to a fantastic road trip, with some new parks, some old favourites, and some good times seeing the sights in between park days.



It's like Comic-Con, if the only superhero were Super Belt Buckle Man!


Ham judges...er...judging...ham.


The fair is basically in a convention center.


There's a whole Kingdom outside.


Noted for later.


Oh man, I love these cakes.


Yeah, and all of this too.


Winner! Literally. This won. Of course it did, look at it!


Oh, Kentucky.


At the Fair you can learn all about beef production...


...and then experience the results.


Fair food!









Warning: Animals ahead!




Aw, goats.


What the f*ck, Kentucky?


Some good looking veggies over here.







Oh yeah, they all surely were! It was LOUD in there.


The cow barn was great. There wasn't anything separating you from the cows, but they were all docile and of course no one touched. This isn't a petting zoo.


Okay, I guess y'all want to see some rides too.




When I come to Kentucky, I expect to see a four wheeler next to something casually racist. This hit the spot.



Best fair coaster ever.










Holy crap, TWO casually racist coasters? Kentucky has outdone themselves.


I Rode a few things at the fair, not any of the coasters, as they were all for children, but they had some good flats, including two Ali Babas, two Claws, and two Himalayas. In fact, they had two of almost all the flats, which made for some short lines.


Just before 4, I headed over to Kentucky Kingdom, and pulled up their website to do some last minute planning. And they were closed for weather. Now, it had stopped raining about 1:30 that afternoon, no other storms in the forecast. Kentucky Kingdom was scheduled to be open 4-9, so they totally had time to get it all ready, but they chose to close the park for the whole day. Disappointing, but I get it. There probably wouldn't have been too many people in the park that day, so they likely would have lost money. But it didn't have anything to do with weather, that was for sure.





What to do with the extra time?


Hmm...this'll do nicely, I think.


Yep, this'll do.


And is this a food truck I see?


Nothing gets over the disappointment of a closed theme park quite like lobster rolls, beer, and bourbon.


The local news was filming as well.


And while I'm here, why not take in a show?


The acrobats were pretty great.


So a slightly disappointing first day of the trip, but nevertheless I made my own fun. Rain would threaten for most of this trip, which would make for an amazing time, starting the very next day at Kings Island.

Edited by ytterbiumanalyst
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Lobsta? Interesting take on the word. Yeah, it really sounds NE.


Actually, there's a lot there, that our PNE used to have. Like judging contests on everything from home crafts to baked goods, pickling, etc.

But when they rezoned the area for more "green space" several major buildings on the grounds took a hit, and got levelled. A couple of them

used to have all the hobbie craft displays and food displays. Nice to see they're still happening.


Great First-Day-of-Your-Trip TR, Andrew.



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I was gonna ask was the fair open? since it looked so deserted. .but I guess that could have been the overcast weather.


glad you were able to make the most of it. . and explaining they had 2 of most flats helped me understand, but this still confuses me.


what is this ride called?


1001 Nachts?

Magic Carpet?

Ali Baba?

Tales of the. . . (something I can't read)?


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Before I start reading serious question:


How do you pronounce YTTERBIUM


if you make him say "MUIBRETTY" he has to go back to the 5th dimension.




He told me once back in Knott's, WCB 2016.


But I can't repeat it, or he'll kill me.

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Great report! Bummer about Kentucky Kingdom though...

Yeah, the fair was cool, but they definitely were relying on Kentucky Kingdom to carry the bulk of the rides offerings. Without it, the midway was pretty small.


I was gonna ask was the fair open? since it looked so deserted. .but I guess that could have been the overcast weather.


glad you were able to make the most of it. . and explaining they had 2 of most flats helped me understand, but this still confuses me.


what is this ride called?


1001 Nachts?

Magic Carpet?

Ali Baba?

Tales of the. . . (something I can't read)?


Most of the photos of rides were taken between 1:30 and 2, so they weren't operating just yet. Fair attendance was pretty good, but not many people went over to the rides. Lines were pretty short all day.


I think both of those rides were officially called 1001 Nachts. I tend to call that ride type Ali Baba because that's what the first one of those I rode was called. Fun rides.


When I come to Kentucky, I expect to see a four wheeler next to something casually racist. This hit the spot.


Dude, I freaking died!


Nice TR. KK closed = Beer Man and lobster carbs. Nice recovery!

Thanks! Figured you'd get a kick out of that one.


Before I start reading serious question:


How do you pronounce YTTERBIUM


if you make him say "MUIBRETTY" he has to go back to the 5th dimension.




He told me once back in Knott's, WCB 2016.


But I can't repeat it, or he'll kill me.



ih-TUR-bee-yum. It's an unusually stable radioactive element found primarily in Sweden and first discovered in the legendary Ytterby mine, which is the place where the greatest number of new elements have been discovered. I've always been fascinated with it, because I'm a nerd.



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ih-TUR-bee-yum. It's an unusually stable radioactive element found primarily in Sweden and first discovered in the legendary Ytterby mine, which is the place where the greatest number of new elements have been discovered. I've always been fascinated with it, because I'm a nerd.


I meant to ask you that at CP, Andrew...and forgot!


I was thinking that it was some type of anagram, so I was trying to decipher it that way. The only thing that I could come up with is "I'm Buttery" or "Yum Bitter"

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Day 2: What’s in the Shed?


The next morning I took off for Cincinnati and two whole days at Kings Island. Last time I was here I had an evening and a full day, and while I got to do everything, I decided it was worth it to take my time this time around.


I processed the Platinum Pass I bought for this trip (2 days KI + 2 days CP, this is really the cheapest ticket) and headed in for early entry. Mystic Timbers wasn’t quite ready, but Diamondback was, so I rode that one several times with zero wait. It was magical. I love Diamondback, and I think it’s still the best coaster at Kings Island.


From Diamondback, I noticed Mystic Timbers had people on it now, so I went over there next, but just then the thunderstorm rolled in. All hail Midwestern thunderstorms! It lasted about an hour, and I sheltered under the Mystic Timbers locker hut, and chatted with some people there. Enthusiasts find each other. There was an ACEr who tried to proselytise an ACE membership, and I remembered exactly why I’ve never gotten one. Another ACEr ran into the locker area, which gave me an opportunity to find other people to talk to. These guys were YouTubers who came to the park to illegally film coaster footage. Joy! Then I discovered the third set of rain refugees were a teacher couple who came to the park from western New York as a getaway before they had to go back to work. I knew there were normal, well adjusted people in this park if I looked hard enough!


The rain let up and of course the rest of the day was amazing. Morning thunderstorms convince people not to come even if the weather is sunny from then on.


Mystic Timbers is really great. I was expecting a Prowler-like experience, and that’s exactly what it is. The multiple river crossings are fun, and the airtime is unbelievable. But of course, it’s all about the shed. This is a great way to spend time on the brakes waiting for the station to clear. The props were cool and the video was fun, and that’s all I will say about it. If you haven’t been out to Kings Island to ride this, go! It does not disappoint.


I spent the rest of the day riding everything as much as I wanted. This was my first time solo on a rapids ride, and as it turns out you go backwards through the whole thing and hit every single drop. So much fun.



The eponymous Tom & Chee. Really good, hadn't thought of balsamic vinaigrette on a grilled cheese, but it's awesome.


Flumin' time!


The vegetation has grown in nicely over the last couple of years.



What are you doing?


I told you not to go in the shed!


Really easy to get two trains in this area.




Can you spot what's wrong with this picture?


Diamondback is so big and so visible from all over the park. So great.





There was a stunt show going on in International Plaza, so I took some time out to see that. It was fun, nothing I hadn't seen before, but well done nonetheless.



What time is it?


Tower time!


But first, a stunt show.



Hmm, where have I seen this before?


Motorcycles in a cage with a four wheeler.


I also got to go up in the Eiffel Tower, which I wasn’t able to do last time because of thunderstorms. It was awful, nothing like the original. You can’t see any of Paris at all from there.



This is NOT Paris.




Not a single Parisian building visible from here.


Can't see a single croissant cart.


No Metro stairs here.


This fountain is not at all in Paris. Not even a little bit.


Wait, is that Montmartre? Goddamn it, it isn't! Just Windseeker. This Eiffel Tower sucks.


To be clear, I'm totally joking. Eiffel Tower is a great attraction and I'm so glad to be able to experience it this time around.


Shoutout to the bartender at the Biergarten, really great service. Had an awesome pretzel and some good Cincinnati craft beer from Moerlein. I love when parks have local stuff available, since trying new foods and drinks is a big part of visiting a city for me.


Of course I couldn’t miss the new Cirque show, Gravity. It has a sci fi theme with some really good effects and of course amazing acrobatics. I also managed to take better pictures of it this time too. Hard to do with all the lights and movement, but I think a couple turned out all right.



A little pre-show fun.


Spaceship! Spaceshipspaceshipspaceship!


What planet is this?


Good thing our spaceship folds down like this, super convenient.




Hey, there are aliens here!


Can we talk to them?


Hmm, they seem to communicate by tying visitors to a column and doing acrobatics in front of them.







Uh, guys? Alien guys? Um, we're still tied up here....




Time to bike on back to our spaceship now.


You always have to plan your night rides at this park, and so I headed out to Bat at sunset, then Diamondback at twilight, then Beast just after dark for the greatest coaster experience there is. I settled in near the Eiffel Tower for some fireworks, misjudging just a bit the direction they’d come from, so my view was a bit obscured by a tree. Still a good show and a great way to end a day at Kings Island.



This is a Pokestop. It's called "Tower Gardens Monument to Cancer."


I never get over how awesome these fountains are.






Goodnight, Kings Island!

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You both totally should go! I feel like Kings Island is a very underrated park. They don't really have that heart pounding super intense coaster that a lot of enthusiasts love, so it gets passed over. But they do have a lot to offer and it's very well rounded. Makes for a nice relaxing day.

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Glad you had a great visit! Diamondback is such a fun ride and good on ya for trying the local flavors. KI gets 5 stars in that department. It's so refreshing to have quality food options.


So cool to get a solo ride on the Rapids. That's pretty unique haha.

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