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Great update, Zach...so nice that you were able to look adversity in the face and still have a great time.


I can't tell you how many times that has happened to us...plane cancelled going to Aruba, two trips to Florida in freezing cold temps, Michael being diagnosed with cancer three weeks before going to a friend's wedding in Portland (of which Crown Plaza never reimbursed our money), snow blower biting the dust at Christmas, furnace dying at Easter, septic plugged on Thanksgiving, having a job offer in Tampa yanked out from under my nose for no legit reason, etc, etc.


You just have to be able to laugh in spite of it all, because getting super pissed isn't going to help at all. At least we have life and at least we have each other!

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  • 4 months later...

I'm going to keep this as short as I possibly can with cliff notes and not an entire story. I don't expect anyone to care about where I parked, what kind of toppings I like on my hot dog, and how many times I urinated. (Too many to count, anyway). That said, it's not really short at all, hence the 'as short as possible.' I apologize in advance for the typos. *end of disclaimer*


Emily and I went to Coaster Campout at Cedar Point on 05/19 - 05/20. The weather forecast was terrible, but we only had a couple quick storms throughout Saturday, with temperatures in the 80's, and Sunday the weather was nice with temperatures in the 50's-60's.


The event was scheduled as follows:

$200 cost

*Visit the park from 9am or later using emailed tickets.

*We checked in for the event at 5pm where we were treated to lanyards, LED battery powered lanterns, and dinner which consisted of divine Hamburgers, hot dogs, beans, salad, chips, etc. We got way too full from being on the go all day and only had room for about a beer before we called quits on drinking. Woops.

*Setup time was at 10pm, but I wanted to the camp site early, which was in the antique car field in the back of the park. It paid off. We got into the park at 930, while getting strange looks from other patrons, due to wheeling a collapsible wagon full of camping gear into the park. We were one of the first tents there and it took us about 20 minutes to set up. Thanks, Boy Scouts, or whatever is politically correct now.

*ERT on SV was from 1030-12 with shitty processed smores for snacks. Don't take that too seriously. I'm not trying to be critical of the supplied food since our experience was one hell of a value.

*I took one of my prescribed ambien and hit the sack at 12. It was neat waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and seeing the park absolutely dead quiet. Somehow during the first half of my drug induced sleep the bathrooms transformed from disgusting to spotless. Win.

*Also during the night this damned Yukon Settler game or whatever across the antique car tuned up every five minutes or so talking crap and tell us to play our hands if we have what it takes, or something like that. We laughed about it before and after sleeping saying something immature like "That sh*t talking douche is still over there talking smack and was all night!"

*Reveille at 7am and we packed our sh*t in a hurry and went to the car. Although before reveille there was some nerdy d-bag playing some Cedar Point song on his boom box. It was about 640 when he did that. Seriously, bro?

*Shower wipes are seriously impressive. I felt clean. I didn't feel sticky. I smelled fresh.

*ERT on VR was from 730-9, with a 'grab and go' breakfast of pastries, doughnuts, breakfast bars, juice, and coffee. We don't eat that crap first thing in the morning, but we wouldn't have the audacity to expect to be catered to our lifestyle so we didn't complain and drank a couple cups of coffee. The offerings for average Joe looked great, though. We didn't ride VR. It was chilly and we just enjoyed sitting in the park away from the crowd and taking in the empty park. Employees were friendly and almost everyone of them greeted us with a smile and a "good morning." It's the little things.

*We spent the next few hours walking around and spending time together. I don't think we rode anything until after noon.


Highlights of things we enjoyed this trip:

*Millennium Force is still a winner for us. It was our first ride of the year and our last ride at CP.

*It's hard to get enough of riding Maverick.

*We liked Valravn much more this time around. It's a great ride.

*We didn't ride Gemini on our last trip, which was our second trip to CP. Man, this ride is a blast when bumping up against your spouse and laughing your ass off.

*Bumper cars, because why not?

*The Kentucky Derby ride, of whatever the FF it's called. Fun ride sober. Better ride under the influence.

*Dragster is still a rush and they weren't crowding the station, leaving our couple rides almost walk-on.

*The Melt... How is this place not packed? I can put down food with the very best of them, but split a sandwich with your partner, especially if your intentions are to drink beer and be active.

*Breakers has very large, very tasty cocktails. We had a generous nice bartender, who we remembered from a couple years ago. She did everything but call Illinois Secretary of State to verify our driver's licenses, though. Whatever. I'm thankful for being a young looking 32 year old, most of the time.

*Fire pits on a cold day at Breakers is great.

*We had a blast at the petting zoo.

*Despite a lot of apprehension from the information we gathered here, staff numbers were adequate, operations were fantastic, rarely did rides go down for maintenance, and almost everything except for a lot of out-of-the-way beer man locations and stores was open.

*Breakers express was an adequate for a night's stay. It would have been more than adequate had it not been for the slight smell of old stale cigarettes.


I'm sure I'm missing some crap. I saved this for last. Fanboys beware:

As for SV, I enjoyed MF, Maverick, Valravn, and Dragster much more. Our first ride in the back seat seemed amazing. We only waited an hour and 15 minutes. During ERT we walked right on our first train. I enjoyed this ride mostly, but a lot less than the first ride. Our third ride we waited about 20 minutes for the front and I was waiting for the ride to end after the first drop. This coaster is too much against the grain for me. I prefer smooth transitions and I don't care for a ride that bucks the entire time. Outward banks and non-traditional banks are not my thing. I can see how it would be a top coaster for anyone else who prefers a ton of airtime, but I'm not a huge fan of relentless constant ejector air. Fantastic coaster, but not for me. Next time we'll take a spin or two and call it a day. We could have easily gone back for 4-5 more rides, but instead we chose to walk around the closed park and enjoy our time together instead, as a no brainer for us. I'm not disappointed, since after riding Storm Chaser and looking at this layout I was pretty apprehensive.


Below are a few random pictures in random order of us having fun vs. the same pictures everyone posts. If anyone wants to give me some tips on how to easily post some of my 10 second short clips saved from Snap Chat onto my Iphone, I'm all ears. I used Imgur to try, but there's no sound, so you can't hear my asshole comments in my self hated Midwestern dialect.



Check in at 5.



How can you complain about cafeteria food when we got such a value? Seriously, I maxed out on seconds due to being tired from working overtime on a suspicious child death task force leading up to the trip.



We've reached a new nerd status.



Random depressed monkey that made us laugh is random AF



Still tired, leaving the camp ground.



Rise and shine, camper nerds.



ERT on SV. I i305 style, we were only good for a couple rides even though waits were five minutes or less.



Dinner at The Melt. I needed the food by this point, because I was too well on my way.



The lights weren't on the first night, so I was glad to see them on our second night.



We grabbed a beer at The Melt and came back later. We were quizzed on our birthdays and how old we were. I'm sure the alcohol servers get audited frequently, so I don't get butt hurt about those things like some other people.



Technically she was the winner.



We had a great view of SV when we woke up and went to bed. Seriously, why don't more people do this???



Without being corny, this picture is a pretty accurate analogy for our trip.



Come to think of it, I'm not completely sure we'd ridden anything yet and it was around 2-3 o'clock. We enjoyed the fire pit on the chilly day. I even bought a Cedar Point hooded sweatshirt. I kind of regret it since I won't wear it out in public much and I won't want to wear it in parks and attract enthusiasts.



Here comes my idiotic immature sense of humor:



She moved away from me as were were taking the shot. Can't win em' all.



They moved away from me.



The train moved away from me.



And they weren't moving for sh*t. If you don't think I'm close to these people, look at the distance from my feet to their location.


So all of that was the fun part. The not so fun part was driving home nine hours on Monday, unpacking, having a couple beers which tired me out, while running around and grilling for my in-laws who watched my dog, finally showering and laying down to read my book, and then the phone r*ngs with a friendly dispatcher telling me that we've had our first double-homicide in ten years and that I needed to put on my suit and tie at 11pm. I told Emily I'd talk to her next week, as I did on my last homicide I worked. I got home at 7am, got three hours of sleep, and went back in. 30 hours of overtime later and it was all wrapped up. That combined with the child death task force leading up to the trip seriously had me exhausted for a week. Despite the sh*t flavored icing on putting the weekend to bed, this was our best CP trip yet.



This was basically me after the work week was over.


Our stay was an absolute blast and a unique experience. Some of our fellow campers and ERT'ers really weirded us out, since it was our enthusiast event. That said, it made people watching legit! The over-enthusiasts were watered down with families, which was nice.


I can't believe more people don't do this event. I highly suggest it. Tents and air mattresses are cheap and $200 for anywhere from 1-4 people for two days at the park, two sessions of ERT, two meals, and a gift is an incredible value. As someone who went camping a lot as a kid, this was more of a welcome since it was basically just a sleepover in a cushy grass field in a dry tent.



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*The Kentucky Derby ride, of whatever the FF it's called. Fun ride sober. Better ride under the influence.


Cedar Downs.


and I've been saying this exact same thing since I discovered the same as you did, when there last year for CoasterMania!




glad you had a great trip.

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Great report! 10 out of 10, would read again! Glad the wipes worked for you, lol. I will say I was there on Sunday as a regular guest and think I only smelled one person with extremely bad BO so that's actually less than a normal day at the park :-P


Sounds like a fun event and as you said, definitely a great value. Now if I could only convince my Fiancee to sleep in a tent.

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Oh man, that was great. Depressed monkey probably was abandoned by a future parent who was tired of carrying him around.


(in Jim Gaffigan's voice) "Wow, that went dark. I didn't expect him to go dark so quickly."


Sounds like the park really took care of you guys over the two days. They do know how to put on an event.


We always camp at places with showers, but wil have to remember shower wipes if we ever have to camp at a place that doesn't.

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I guess was the same as yours with the monkey. It was hilarious when we walked around the corner and saw it slumped over. It reminded me of the drunk passed out homeless people at work...


The shower wipes exceeded my expectations. You're only supposed to use one, but I used several. I thought for sure they would leave a sticky residue and I'm very picky about how I feel. However, they did not and using them surprisingly gave us that refreshing clean feeling, a little short of when you get out of the shower.


Sounds like a fun event and as you said, definitely a great value. Now if I could only convince my Fiancee to sleep in a tent.

It wasn't like real camping at all and we were only in our tent for about six hours total. The grassy area was extremely clean since no one walks on it. We used an air mattress and couple sleeping bags. We slept really well from being exhausted. Just tell her it's nowhere like traditional camping. Also, the weather is cool that time of year so you don't wake up with that groggy sweaty feeling.

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Enjoyed this latest update, you had been posting about the event so much beforehand and then after you seemed to go dark for a while so I wasn't sure if you guys made it out alive.

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You look way too happy on that horse


Cool TR!


I'd totally do the campout, but hell will freeze over before I get my significant other camping...especially with all the bugs at CP! Did you guys have any problems with the mayflies? Friday was a nightmare. I don't think I've ever been to CP when they were that bad.


Also, we tried Melt for the first time on this last trip too and it was scrumptious! I liked that they clearly marked which sandwiches were vegetarian or could be made vegetarian. It took WAY too long to get our food, though!


Also, when I first rode SV I thought to myself that the only negative I could see people saying about it was, "It's too intense." I guess that level of intensity isn't for everyone, but man.... I definitely don't relate.

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Great report, Zach...glad that you and Emily had a great time despite the ending being a pain in the ass.


I really hope that we can hit Melt the next time we go. I agree that the sandwiches are huge and enough to share with another. I wasn't able to finish either sandwich that I ordered at the one in Cleveland on our two visits. So much bread and cheeeeese!

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Did you guys have any problems with the mayflies?

Not a bit! I think we beat the rush. There were hardly any bugs. I can only remember one gnat hitting my face on MF. If we go back next year, we're going to go the same weekend.

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I love how you sprinkle in random anecdotes from your work that are super intense and contrasting to the nature of theme parks, it's kind of horrifying but hilarious at the same time in a weird way.


"after working the suspicious child death task force we were off to go camping and ride some roller coasters"


"with the double homicide investigation behind me it was time for more Flags more Fun, Six Flags Mid America"

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I love how you sprinkle in random anecdotes from your work that are super intense and contrasting to the nature of theme parks, it's kind of horrifying but hilarious at the same time in a weird way. "after working the suspicious child death task force we were off to go camping and ride some roller coasters" ... "with the double homicide investigation behind me it was time for more Flags more Fun, Six Flags Mid America"


I agree, the phrasing was seriously strange and simultaneously funny to read! Really great! Zach - I'm glad you had such a great time.

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Great report! Being a complete and utter non-camper myself, I didn't pay this event any attention before. But after reading about it, I think you may have convinced me to give it a go next year! So, it's $200 for up to 4 people? I know a couple of avid campers, and I bet I could get my GF to go with myself and them to make it a foursome.


I also respect your opinion of SV... I love it, and it's my #1 coaster! But if you're not really into that level of intensity, and especially the hard bucking (which frankly, is understandable), it's not going to be as great of a ride. MF is fantastic, and amazing, and still well worth a #1 ranking, especially if speed and non-airtime intensity is your preferred coaster taste!


Melt is an amazing place! Just tried it for the first time during Coastermania (with RAWKIN, actually), and other than mind-numbingly slow service (which I also had a previous visit this year at Chickie and Pete's... Hmmm....), it exceeded my expectations! Definitely a place you can go and share an entree, and be g2g!


Oh, and the abandoned bear was hilarious!

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We've been crazy busy this summer between work and weekends off, so I hadn't gotten a chance to check my thread. Thanks for all of the comments. I hope more people cash in on this opportunity next year. I think this trip will be one of our more memorable times.


I love how you sprinkle in random anecdotes from your work that are super intense and contrasting to the nature of theme parks, it's kind of horrifying but hilarious at the same time in a weird way.


"after working the suspicious child death task force we were off to go camping and ride some roller coasters"


"with the double homicide investigation behind me it was time for more Flags more Fun, Six Flags Mid America"

Haha! It was a pretty exceptionally wild week. Most of them aren't like this. Everything in my life is pretty much a contradiction, including my personality at times, but it makes for good stories.


So, it's $200 for up to 4 people? I know a couple of avid campers, and I bet I could get my GF to go with myself and them to make it a foursome.


Four people per tent. If you have a big tent it shouldn't be a problem. I went on a lot of camping when I was younger and this was a lot different. Basically, you're so exhausted from the day when you hit the sleeping bag and/or air mattress it's lights out. I have a lot of problems sleeping and I had very little trouble that night.


Also, the grass was thick and the camping area was very clean. It was really more like setting up the tent in the back yard when I was a kid, rather than traditional camping. It was the perfect combination. Shower wipes were a must and they worked surprisingly very well.


Oh, and the abandoned bear was hilarious!

LOL! Dude, Emily and I live for random moments like this! She has a keen eye for finding head scratching/WTF things in life.

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  • 2 months later...

Emily and I had intended to do a PA trip years ago, but she jumped ship to a better job... back to a lesser job due to layoffs... back to her old job reeling her back in. All of that pretty much means we went through two summers of minimal vacation time for her, but now we're back on track.


Cutting out a ton of personal details, we made it to Pittsburgh on Saturday early afternoon in mid July and we couldn't believe how large and neat looking the city looked. We took what we thought would be a corny Segway tour and it ended up being a blast and really informative. We got a quick feel for the city in about two hours and six miles. I highly recommend Pittsburgh Segway if you're going to be in town for a day. We grabbed dinner at some insanely busy and delicious taco place in downtown. We went to bed early for us to hit my most anticipated park of the trip: Kennywood! It was the first stop on our Kennywood, Knoebels, and Hershey Park trip, spread across a week with four full days between the parks.


I think the only non-corporate park I've visited had been Holiday World, so I figured Kennywood would be a smooth transition to a quirky non-corporate atmosphere. With only one day at the park, I pre-ordered the tickets and VIP passes. We pulled into the parking lot and I couldn't figure out where the hell everyone was, but after a quick look on the park's website, we were there almost an hour before opening. Woops.


The parking lot initially looked like something out of a state fair. It looked pretty worn with tired chain link fences. I was confused as to where the free parking was, but we made our way up a large hill and parked near an escalator. Weird. We looked down on the park and saw Steel Phantom looming in the distance... and directly behind Steel Phantom we saw one of our nation's many depressed industrial areas, directly across the river. I was expecting it, and it made for a unique setting, but wtf. It was kind of cool, but the strong smell of the working factories giving a helping hand to global warming made it so that it took a while before we were mostly nose-blind to the smell.




We made our way toward the gate down the long rickety escalator. It looked very retro, with the wood paneling on the ceiling. However, everything was very clean and well kept. After the walk through the ragged-ass lower parking lot we were at the gates, which were comprised of a lot of red brick structures and looked simple and tasteful. It was neat to finally walk through the tunnel into the park after watching so many youtube walk-through's.


We snagged our VIP passes and walked around the park to find almost nothing open, at 1030 am (I think). The park had a few guests and employees wandering around, but it was mostly a ghost town with no rides even testing. Hmmmm... The VIP pass guy said everything should be open by noon, but damn. Eventually, we found a line of about 50 people waiting for Exterminator and we waited about ten minutes for the queue to open up. We weren't sure if this ride was included with the VIP passes, since there were no clear signs. Since nothing was open anyway, we just decided to go to the main queue to be on the safe side. It was neat looking at an old factory switch board in the queue.


When we boarded, we asked the ride operator if the ride was included with the VIP pass and he wasn't sure. He had to ask another employee who wasn't quite sure either, but she thought Exterminator was probably included... Hah. OK. It didn't matter anyway, because after taking our 'spin,' we didn't hate the ride, but it didn't do anything for us. I tried to make myself pretend that I was having a good time, due to all of the positive reviews of exterminator, but truth be told, it wasn't all that fun for me. It was definitely and experience being weird and quirky, but it stopped there.


Kennywood felt pretty compact and the layout was mostly straight forward. A lot of the park reminded me of some of the older areas of other parks with rides kind of formed into the landscape, which I liked. The only part of Kennywood that seemed to be really buzzing with people was the midway from Jack Rabbit to Racer. It looked really cool and had a classic vibe like I've never experienced. Everywhere else was pretty calm.


Phantom was our second ride of the day. VIP passes gave us access to the middle of the train, which was fine. This was my most anticipated coaster of the trip. I'm not sure if it was our assigned seat in the middle of the train, but again, another coaster that I hadn't quite warmed up to, yet. The air time reminded me of a more jerky/bucking RMC conversion, which isn't really my style, except it was a lot less smooth. I knew I would probably warm up to the ride later in the day, but it wasn't wow'd from the get-go from my first ride. Maybe I was having one of my off-days. Damnit. We walked through Noah's Ark and again I was expecting to have more fun with it, after watching the POV'S, but it was more forced fun.


Now, what I'm going to say is really important, because my TR probably makes me sound like a snobby bitch at this point. When visiting 'most' new parks that we visit our enthusiasm starts off slowly and builds throughout the day. By the time Beer:30 hits in the late afternoon, we're always having a full blown blast. I anticipated to appreciate these attractions later in the day, but on this day we were pretty slow starters and I was having a hell of a time shaking off the staleness, despite having a decent workout, a good breakfast, and a strong cup of coffee to start off my day. Maybe it was the fact that it was hot AF that day.


I suppose my boring mood did start to wear off a bit with... the Turtle ride... WTF? That thing is just endless, old, rickety, jerky, and you can't stay in one spot in your seat in canvass shorts. IT WAS A BLAST! This was probably my favorite ride of our day at Kennywood. You'll find out why, later.


We rode the shooter ride. Sorry, but the name escapes me. It was strange how it was tucked on a back pathway. Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Shit... The blasters were so good and so accurate that I didn't really get a chance to look at the scenery much at all. I thought I kicked ass until the kids behind us were talking about their scores, which were twice as much as mine. Pricks.


Speaking of shooting...



WTF is this old attraction, which seemed decades old. I hated it so much I spent about $5 here... The shooting gallery was a lot of fun, because when you hit a few targets they squirted water at other shooters. Also, I was pleased to see that I had a pretty rad cowlick in the back of my head... I told Emily about it and she casually said, “Yeah, you've had it all day...” She was given instructions to give me the courtesy to tell me about such things. No corrective action was needed, since she'll surely burn in hell for that.




Finally being nose-blind to the smell of cancer air, we explored some of the random shit like drinking out of a dirty mushroom near a wishing well which was mostly filled with about twenty-five cents, dirt, and trash. I tossed a quarter in to double the currency in the fountain and I wished for a fun day. More foreshadowing: Maybe I should have put more money in.


We also waited in sweltering heat for an attraction that made the ragged-ass wishing well seem spectacular. I've never tried LSD, or any drugs for that matter, but I would imagine if there were more characters and creepy noises, Garfield would come close to that kind of 'trip.'


(Side note to the lack of drug experiences in my life: My prescribed Ambien that I take occasionally as needed does some pretty weird things to me. "Why is my car glowing when I look at it in the garage and why did I have to walk out there and touch it just to make sure it was real? Time to go to bad. Now.")


Thunder clouds moved in as we tried out Jack Rabbit, which was my first experience with buzz bars. The lack of roughness was great, but we hadn't had enough rides to get any real appreciation from it. I knew this would change throughout the day, since we were already building steam on the fun train. I looked forward to more rides.



Random picture of Emily's first time wearing a hat at a park, my shaggy (for me) hair, and my pathetic excuse for an example of a man who hasn't shaved in a few days. (Screw shaving on vacation.) Speaking of the hat, Kennywood offers a lot of cubbies and storage bins on all of their rides. This whole trip would make me appreciate guest accommodations vs. capacity.




Racer was a fun coaster. We lost, as usual. Seriously, we win about one out of five racers we ride. The historic station was beautiful. Racer was pretty decent and I knew it would get better at night.


After another round of making the shooting game spit water at little kids... welcome to the real world, punks... we scouted out the bar for later. It was located directly across the arrow ride, or whatever it's called. A sign told us, “Two beers only.” Oh well. It was our first park of the trip and we were starting to have some clean sober fun. So much so that we decided to ride a type of ride that we usually wouldn't consider.




The little girl strapped in next to Emily was pretty nervous. I didn't even have time to make sarcastic remarks, before the ride was announced closed for maintenance and we were stuck in our seats. Damnit... I have to piss. Being strapped in during a mechanical breakdown while having to urinate is a fear of mine and explains why I pee before damned near every other ride when visiting parks. The ride seemed close to being ready to go after a few minutes of maintenance looking around the station and then it went down for weather as mother nature was starting to get pissed.


Our day was fucked. Let's continue this random report with some cliff notes:

Waited for Kangaroo.

-Looked fun and classic

-Started to rain in line before we could ride it

-Ran to some restaurant and grabbed a coke

-Rain stopped as soon as we sat down.... fuck.

-Decided to grab a beer outside of the park

-Rickety ass escalator, we meet again.


-Leave the park

-Have a beer, which certainly wouldn't have been had in the parking lot during pouring down rain.

-Rain. Lightning. Wind. Beautiful weather came at last.

Back to the park.

Rickety AF escalator - thank you for your service

Walked back.

People leaving.

Wait.. everyone leaving.

Continued beautiful weather

“The man out front says park's closed.”

Fuck you, man out front, we're 300 dollars deep in this.

Potato Patch? Nope.

Thunderbolt? Nope

Kangaroo? Nope

The Whip? Nope

Beers? Nope

Giant Fkkking spider? The weather made it so I might as well have had arachnophobia, so no.

Kennywood? Flipped off the sign on the way out.

Anger? A lot of it.

Disappointment? Yep.

Back to some mediocre "Gourmet" Mexican restaurant where we were under dressed and smelling like sweat and sun screen? Over priced.

Realizing that mother nature screwed us on our start of our park Journey? Yeah


Future – Knoebels rocked and Phoenix is terrifying.


Anyway, Kennywood was a bust. Pittsburgh was cool. Turns out I like turtles. No french fries for me. God hates me. I hate baseball. Only you can prevent forest fires. The shooting game was awesome. Screw those kids who beat us in the dark ride with the pre-show we didn't care about. #yolo. Raging Bull is underrated. Why don't more people talk about The Melt? Random AF TR



The trip was a disaster. Call in the choppers.










We left the park hungry for so much more...










Better luck next time, K-Dubs.


Up next: A couple varieties of pig on a stick, two rides that made us sick, FML I lost my hat, because I was too stupid to take it off, who needs booze?...and the best Haunted Mansion ever made me actually scream/yell three times.



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