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^ lmao. so apparently the "Raven Nut Tingle" is actually a thing and I don't need to see a doctor after all... all 9 rides, different seats... sorry for being so detailed lol!! No other ride have I experienced this.

 

Now let's move on and never speak of this again.

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Alright everyone... do not adjust your monitors. I'm actually writing my third report in 3 days. It's REALLY that slow of a week at the office.

 

We once again awoke in Florence Kentucky to the sweet aroma of Big Boy burgers and cow sh*t. Shockingly, our hotel was still standing after the storm and (despite another forecast for damaging tornadoes and widespread property damage) the sun was shining and it was shaping up to be another pleasant eight thousand degree morning.

 

It was a lazy morning for us. Since we were so close and since the weather was nice we decided that it was a perfect opportunity to finally visit Cincinnati's Coney Island before heading up to America's Rockin' Non Stoppin' Seagull Sh*t Droppin' Mufflehead infested Roller Coast. Coney Island didn't open until 11 AM and we were less than an hour away, so we slept in a little bit before finally making our way back to Brit's tornado chasing Prius (which does sort of resemble the Dominator from that old Storm Chaser show... maybe that's why we're still alive ) and head to the park.

 

Like many people, I knew next to nothing about this park going in. I've seen a few pictures of their Python coaster but you really never hear anything about the rest of the park. Honestly that's a shame, because this place is really nice.

 

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The front gate. I totally stole this picture for a Facebook collage because we forgot to take one so why not double down and do it again?

Coney Island is nestled right beside the Ohio River at the Kentucky and Ohio state line and features a separate dry park and water park. Both are small but nice and a $22 ticket gets you in to both parks. Luckily, you also have the option of purchasing a ticket to each park individually and we opted for the (very reasonable) rides and attractions ticket for $13.50.

 

PS: I used the word "nestled" because this park is f*cking adorable. Saying the park was "located" beside the river wouldn't come close to accurately portraying how nice it was... this is way better. Saying that something is "nestled" somewhere instantly makes it 10 times nicer. I read it in a book once.

 

We arrived a few minutes before opening and noticed a mechanic sitting on top of the Python lift with a track section removed. Normally this would be cause for alarm but since it's a sh*tty Zyklon we assumed that when he was done he would just pick it up and put it back where it belonged in about 30 seconds. Still, we didn't want to buy our tickets until we saw it running so we decided to walk around the park a little and check it out.

 

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This place is so nice!

Aside from Python, there were a few other rides here I was really looking forward to. One of which was the Rock-O-Plane because I had never ridden one. The others were Top Spin (which is not a Top Spin) and Wipeout (which is not a Wipeout). I was excited to ride those two for similar reasons. Funland in Rehoboth Beach (where we vacation every year) had just removed their Moser Flipping Action Arm for an SBF Visa Dance Party (inverting frisbee) so I was hoping to check out the Dance Party (since we hadn't been down to the beach yet) and I wanted to ride a Flipping Action Arm one last time.

 

I loved the Flipping Action Arm (Superflip) and had never seen one anywhere else so I knew this might be last chance to ever ride one. Sadly, it was down (which is typical of these rides and probably why Funland removed it) so that wasn't to be. Luckily we saw Top Spin testing so we knew we'd be able to get a ride on that.

 

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What is it with the Midwest and their phallic fountains? Seriously though, fountain aside... look how nice this place is!

As we circled back around we saw Python running (that was fast) so we decided it was finally time to get our wristbands and get in line. The ride had just opened for the day so we joined the short queue and found ourselves in the front row within about 5 minutes. The ride itself is fun, but nothing special. I did notice that the restraints were a bit restrictive and not overly friendly to taller people but after a little maneuvering I was in. We got the credit, but that was a one and done for us. It was fine, but I was honestly much more excited about the park's other rides.

 

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Python in all it's glory.

While I was eager to check out Rock-O-Plane, Brit wanted to ride the Flying Bobs so we headed over there next. This was a really old one which made it super cool. They ran a great cycle on it too, so I'm definately glad she dragged me onto it. Good call Brit!

 

Brit had decided she was going to sit the Rock O Plane out, but there was no way I wasn't riding it so I headed over there next for a solo ride.

 

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What a great ride!

I really didn't know much about these things but they're a ton of fun, surprisingly low tech and overall super cool. It's essentially just a regular Ferris wheel in a cage. If you don't do anything, that's all it'll be BUT if you hit the foot pedal it locks your car in it's current position as it moves around the wheel. It was really simple to get the hang of and within a few rotations I had figured out how to hold the car upseideown at the top of the ride, bottom of the ride or wherever I wanted. This thing was great! Why aren't there more of these?

 

When I got off I tried to convince Brit to give it a shot, explaining that she could easily avoid flipping it but she no longer trusts me on anything theme park related so she wasn't caving. I guess after enough instances of saying "No, don't worry sweetie you barely get wet at all on this flume" she decided to stop listening to me. I can't say that I blame her.

 

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Once again... this place is REALLY nice

Following that we walked around a little more, taking in the scenery and riding a few rides along the way. I guess one of my only complaints is that even though you're right on the water, the river isn't really visible from the ride area at all. Still, the back part of the park was really nice with it's impressive flower beds and well manicured midways.

 

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Tilt a Whirl! I'm surprised they actually named this ride "Tilt-A-Whirl" and not Gravitron, Chaos, Flying Scooters, Bumper Cars or something else to keep with the theme of naming all of their flat rides after other flat rides.

We finished up the back of the park with rides on Tilt a Whirl and Top Spin, both of which were a ton of fun and then (you guessed it) it started to cloud up and we realized we should probably head out soon.

 

The park is really set up in sort of a loop, so we continued on past the dick fountain to an area with a few midway games, food establishments and restrooms. We figured we might be running to the car in a few minutes once the skies inevitably opened up (again) so we ducked into the bathroom real quick and I was amused to see that someone had taken the liberty of re-naming the restroom to something a bit more fitting.

 

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I laughed way too hard at this...

While waiting for Brit, I walked up to the front section of the loop a little bit and found a few more rides nestled (there it is again) along a small lake. We knew we had to hurry, but we figured we had time for one more ride so I figured I'd go and see what the options were. They had a few different paddle boat rides but anyone who read my Montreal report knows my stance on those god forsaken things. They had an old school high speed Ferris wheel which Brit wanted no part of, a Scrambler, a swinging ship and a Tempest ride.

 

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The lake front... taken right in front of the "Turd Station™"

I'd never ridden a tempest ride, but basically it involves 4 round cars, each spinning, then spinning around eachother on either side of a spinning arm (the operative word here is "spinning"). If it sounds crazy it's because it is, I didn't really know what my expectations were going in but this thing was completely nuts and I'm really glad we managed to ride it.

 

After our Tempest ride we figured it was time to head out before the storm rolled in and start our 4 hour trek to Cedar Point. We got to the car just in the nick of time, almost as if the coaster gods were telling us it was time to stop dicking around and head up to the Coaster Capital.

 

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Thanks for a great morning Coney Island!

As we got in the car, headed out of the lot, turned our windshield wipers on full speed (again) and braved another morning monsoon I looked over at Brit and said something I never thought I'd ever say... "Holy sh*t I can't wait to get up to Cedar Point where the weather is normal". Luckily we had an absolute blast at Coney Island and the rain held off just long enough. The park is great, the collection of classic flat rides is really cool and I highly recommend this place to anyone who's in the Cincinnati area.

 

Up next... Cedar Point!

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Great report! Those little galaxi/zyklon coasters can give a solid pop of air on the first two drops if there are two cars attached like Python. I've never been to Coney Island Ohio, but it looks particularly nice.

 

If you want a Super Flipping Arm, Gillian's just added one. Maybe it was from Funland?

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If you want a Super Flipping Arm, Gillian's just added one. Maybe it was from Funland?

 

Wow, that's awesome news! I somehow missed that part of your report but yes. That IS Funland's and it even had Funland's old branding on it in that picture you took. Once Wild Waves opens we'll definately head to Ocean City and you better believe I'm riding Superflip again (even though now I have to pay Jersey Shore prices to ride it and not Funland prices which is a pretty massive difference. No more riding it for $1.50 I'm sure ).

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Once Wild Waves opens we'll definately head to Ocean City and you better believe I'm riding Superflip again

 

So you're saying you'll never ride Superflip again?

 

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^ lmao. so apparently the "Raven Nut Tingle" is actually a thing and I don't need to see a doctor after all... all 9 rides, different seats... sorry for being so detailed lol!! No other ride have I experienced this.

.

Sounds like I need to take the three hour trip to HW and marathon Raven. I want to make extra sure I don't have any kids within the next couple years.

(everyone should be thankful)

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What is it with the Midwest and their phallic fountains?

I dunno but that's not the only thing that's phallic with Coney Island Cincinnati... from their website, this is the logo on their loading splash screen.

 

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I don't know why the letter C is ejaculating, and frankly, I don't want to know.

Thanks for the report. I'm gonna try to figure out how to work this place into our next road trip, because honestly, I forgot it even exists but it looks like a cool little place to kill a few hours. (And $6.95 kids' admission? Dang. That's Lakemont pricing right there.)

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Your Jimmy Buffet attire is very appropriate at Coney Island because Riverbend Music Center is right next door where in Cincinnati, the only bands to return year after year are:

 

Dave Matthews Band (and he hates playing here because it's just an underage drunken pukefest screaming "PLAY CRASH INTO ME")

 

aaaaaaand

Jimmy Buffet

 

It would have been a perfect world if he was playing that night you were there. He recently opened a Margaritaville at the casino on the Cincy side.

 

Great report as always!

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Thanks guys!

 

Another fantastic update. You should get paid for writing.

Agreed. Strangely Robb is yet to respond to my Paypal request. I guess he's just busy.

 

=================================================================

 

Anyway, on to America's Rockin' Non Stoppin' unless a single raindrop be Droppin' Roller Coast!

 

Believe it or not, Cedar Point was sort of an afterthought for this trip. We knew we wanted to get out to Mystic Timbers, Kentucky Kingdom and Holiday World but we didn't really know what we were planning to do on the way home. We had a few different ideas ranging from Kennywood to Knoebels (Please try to get over the shock. You have to understand that Knoebels is like the North Pole and I have a magnet up my a**) but after realizing how close we would be to Cedar Point, our decision was pretty much made for us.

 

Initially we had planned to do a full day at Kentucky Kingdom, a full day at Holiday World and then stop at Cedar Point for a few hours on the way home to hit the essentials... Millennium Force, Gatekeeper (Brit's favorite) and Maverick and then continue driving. I had already figured that we might end up adding another ride to that list if by some miracle there happened to be a ride that could somehow transport us between the Gatekeeper area and the Millennium Force area all while providing magnificent views of the park and it's beautiful surroundings while providing a family friendly, leisurely ride 92 feet above the main midway but that's just crazy talk. Obviously something like that would be far too awesome to actually exist...

 

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, right. Anyway, after doing a little more research we decided that we could easily combine Kentucky Kingdom and Holiday World into one day. We were prepared to stretch it out to 2 days if the weather didn't cooperate, but since it did we were done with Coney Island by noon on Sunday and wouldn't have to leave Cedar Point until about 4PM on Monday. Hooray for us!

 

The forecast for Sunday in Sandusky was definitely questionable but we drove up there thinking that anything we got to ride would be a bonus since Monday was supposed to be beautiful and we planned to be there for Early Entry so we could easily get our Gatekeeper, Millennium Force and Maverick rides in then.

 

Sorry to keep talking about weather but it was a major factor all weekend long. Luckily, the rain at Cedar Point was just that... rain and some mild thunderstorms... no strings attached. Not rain with a tornado that might kill you and your entire family, not rain and 90 MPH winds, just normal weather... thank god.

 

Our route to Sandusky started on I-71 (actually taking us right by Kings Island again) but we split off in Columbus and took the scenic route the rest of the way to miss some traffic near Cleveland. Once we got past Columbus the temperature started dropping like a rock, down from the high 90's and 100% humidity days we were accustomed to about 65 degrees with no humidity and wind that actually made it a little chilly. I guess we shouldn't have been too surprised by the cold. After all, Cedar Point is the park where you can see Canada from a few of their taller lift hills if you look for the island with the Tim Horton's and the moose on it.

 

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Cold? B*tch please. I've got my shades on and I'm going to the beach. Um, I mean... roar! I'm a motherf*kin' Midwest T Rex. Gimmie some Moonshine!

There were pop up showers everywhere and we drove through a lot of them on our way to the park, but when we pulled in to the lot we were happy to see that it hadn't started raining yet (though it was really cloudy) and all of the rides were operating.

 

We didn't want to get too greedy since we knew it could start raining / storming at any time so after a quick pit stop at the restroom (I mean we did just finish a 4 hour drive and we had to settle for Arby's for lunch 2 days in a row so, you know...) it was off to Gatekeeper!

 

When we walked up to the queue we were surprised to find that there was absolutely no wait at all. Sure, it's a capacity monster and sure it's late afternoon but we still found it pretty odd. We were greeted with a 3 train wait for the front left wing (left wing, best wing... always) so while waiting I pulled up queue-times and realized that EVERY SINGLE RIDE was posting a 5 minute wait. It seemed like the weather had really scared people away and we realized that if the rain could hold off even just a little we were in for an awesome evening.

 

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We made it!!!!

Within a few minutes it was time to board so we hopped in to Brit's favorite bird and prepared to fly. Yes, yes... I've heard your b*tching. It's rattly, it's forceless, it's bouncy, it sucks... got it. We don't care. Gatekeeper is awesome and we love the sh*t out of it. The visuals from the lift with the clouds and storms moving in were awesome, the ride itself was running great and as usual we had a spectacular ride on Gatekeeper.

 

Once we saw the wait times, our plans for the day had totally changed. Initially we figured we'd focus on the main rides and everything else was a bonus but we realized that we basically had free reign of the place and (feeling greedy and seeing it's posted 5 minute wait time) we figured... "What the hell... let's throw out any type of logical plan and go to Dragster even though we live 2 hours from Kingda Ka and ride it all the time".

 

Anyone who knows me knows that when you're standing at Gatekeeper and I say "Let's ride Dragster" what I really mean is "Let's ride Sky Ride". As soon as I said, "Let's ride Dragster", Brit instinctively turned left and walked past the games over to the Sky Ride and not at all in the direction of Dragster. She's used to my sh*t by now. I love her.

 

Unfortunately as we walked up to Sky Ride, they went down for lightning in the area. We tried Raptor knowing that Sky Ride generally goes down first, but it became clear that every coaster in the park, Sky Ride and Windseeker were down for lightning so we figured we'd make our way down the midway and look for something else to ride. We knew we were at Cedar Point so we sort of figured that given their nonsensical weather policy it was only a matter of time before we found a ride that was operating with lightning in the area that absolutely shouldn't be while much smaller rides like Cedar Creek Mine Ride were "closed for lightning". Luckily, our instincts were right...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Wait... no... you're f*cking with me right?

That's right! While tiny rides like Iron Dragon, Corkscrew, Blue Streak and Cedar Creek Mine Ride were down for lightning, their 299 foot giant metal tower was up and running so we hopped in line. After about a 10 minute wait where we assumed sanity would eventually prevail and they would close the ride, we took our seats on the giant lightning rod in the middle of the park.

 

The ride itself was awesome, you could see the rain moving in from the lake which was a really cool visual and it was hilarious looking at an entire park full of motionless rides (because of lightning in the area) from the top of Power F*cking Tower. When we got off the ride, they still hadn't closed the line (lol) but since we had just seen the incoming rain bands from the top of the ride we ducked into the Dragster gift shop to browse around as the storm passed.

 

Luckily, this storm was in and out in about 30 minutes and as it cleared we stepped out into a park that was somehow even more empty than it was before. It was still drizzling a bit, but rides were slowly coming back to life. We knew better than to stand around waiting for Dragster so we walked around and figured we'd get in line for Millennium Force.

 

As we walked up to the ride, we saw a test train come roaring through the final turn and as soon as we walked up to the entrance the phone rang, the greeter picked it up and Millennium Force was open for business.

 

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Pinch me...

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No seriously...

Never in my life have I seen a Millennium Force line that short during normal operation. On top of that, there was only a 3 cycle wait for the front row so we took advantage and got in line.

 

As the first train after the rain storm was loaded, the ride op jokingly told everyone to make sure they open their mouths and yell "Muffleheads" at the bottom of the first drop. I had totally forgotten about that, but at the same time there was no way in hell I was passing on a front seat Millennium Force ride with no wait so we were just going to have to suck it up try to go to sleep with the guilt of knowing we took place in a horrific mufflehead genocide.

 

The same thing happens to me every single time I ride Millennium Force. I think about all of the great coasters I've ridden since my last ride on it, I think of the overwhelming amount of complaining about forcelessness, lack of airtime, rattling and all that sh*t and wonder if this will finally be the time that I ride Millennium Force and come off underwhelmed. I always think that maybe it'll finally be the time that I get off the ride and don't pull back into the station absolutely ecstatic from the fact that I just experienced another Millennium Force ride that solidified the fact that it's my absolute favorite coaster ever and that everything about it is complete perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holy sh*t I love this ride!!!! Between the amazing first drop, insane speed, awesome overbanks and great location there's still nothing that compares. As usual, Millennium Force provided an absolutely amazing ride from start to finish and as we pulled in the station we looked at eachother with huge sh*t eating (or in this case mufflehead eating) grins and wondered aloud what the f*ck people were talking about. Every time I ride this thing I get off with the same sense of amazement that I had after my first ride back in 2001. Absolute brilliance.

 

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Best coaster ever! Keep on hating...

 

Still riding our Millennium Force high, we were tempted to get back in line and stay there all night but we decided instead to take advantage of the nonexistent lines and continue our lap around the park.

 

While this ride was never a priority going in, when we got off Millennium Force we couldn't help but notice a Rougarou train flying through the loop with a grand total of 2 people on the train. Unable to say no to that we headed over and walked right on to the front row.

 

We're big fans of Rougarou. While it may not be the best floorless coaster out there it does seem to be a little more snappy than the rest and it absolutely blows me away that they managed to turn such a pile of sh*t into such an enjoyable coaster just by swapping out the trains. As usual, Rougarou provided a solid ride. It may have been the weather but it seemed like they turned the fog up to the max which definitely made for a cool experience and the sound effects were blaring too which made for a great vibe around the ride entrance area.

 

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Rougarou? Are you in there?

After Rougarou (more like Rouga-WOOOOOO because it's so awesome, am I right?) we decided to head back to Maverick. We thought of heading back through frontier trail to check out the new additions like the Pony Rides and Professor whatever-the-f*ck's fantasy fling and to grab some moonshine but the train was pulling up and our laziness prevailed. It was also starting to rain again so it seemed like the perfect way to get back to Maverick and to let the brief rain shower pass.

 

The train ride is always much better from Frontier Town, but this route does provide a nice view of the lake and of the new Mean Streak. I have to say, that ride looks absolutely crazy but I didn't bother taking any pictures as I knew that by the time I posted this they would be out of date anyway.

 

When we got to Maverick we were greeted with another station wait and within a few minutes, Brent pulled up to take us on our bullsh*t insane ride to crazy town. For those unfamiliar, the trains apparently have names. I never really noticed until a few years ago when Brit pointed it out to me. The train we rode on that day was named "Beau" which apparently is pronounced "Bo" (as in Natty Boh - oh boy what a beer!) but being a "Yankee" and not growing up in the south like her I didn't know this and pronounced it "Byew". Three years later she hasn't let that one go.

 

As the train pulled up, Brit voiced her displeasure because apparently Brent sucks and only Beau is acceptable but she got over it pretty quick as Maverick proceeded to deliver yet another amazing ride. God this coaster knows how to bring the crazy...

 

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Pictured: Another train that's not Beau. Are you pronouncing it "Byew" in your head? You should be.

After our first ride, we immediately headed right back around to do it again. There were 2 main reasons for this...

 

1) How often do you get the opportunity to ride Maverick with absolutely no line? For us this is incredibly rare as we really only get out to this park on holiday weekends.

 

and

 

2) We didn't get to ride Beau and Brit was pissed.

 

As we got back up to the station we were greeted with another nonexistent line. While standing at the queue gates, Brit stared down the track in anticipation waiting to see what would show up. A few seconds later in a scene ("almost") fitting of a dramatic Hollywood blockbuster our bold, fearless hero emerged...

 

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That's better!

Once again, Maverick delivered an insane ride (though Brit's convinced it was better that time since we were on the "better train"). This ride is absolutely nuts and I can't for the life of me understand why there aren't more Intamin Blitz coasters in America. God I love this thing.

 

After our successful Beau ride we continued our loop around the empty park. We thought of riding Skyhawk but realized that we could just save it for tomorrow since it never has a line anyway. Mine Ride and Gemini were still down from the rain and (checking the app to see that Iron Dragon and Corkscrew were down too) we figured that they had taken their Arrows down for weather but left everything else open. Whatever...

 

The exception to this was Magnum but upon further inspection I realized that the reason it was running was because they had taken it down to 1 train so it couldn't crash again ( ) so we figured we'd skip that one too. We didn't have a plan at that point but while standing by Magnum, we heard the familiar whizzing and roaring of Dragster and saw a small line forming so we headed over.

 

It was drizzling lightly and we could have been on one of the first trains but I got greedy and tried for row 1. Unfortunately for us, when we were next to ride the ride went down for rain and after standing around for about 30 minutes waiting for it to come back up we finally bailed. That was a bit of a waste of time, but we knew it was a risk going in. Oh well...

 

While it was raining when we left Dragster it was a really light rain so it wasn't much of an issue yet. We pulled up the radar and saw that some really heavy rain was on the way but we decided we had time for another ride or two. Amazingly we had managed to ride all of the top tier coasters except for Magnum (which was down to 1 train), Dragster (because of the rain), Valravn and Raptor so we figured we'd make Raptor and Valravn our last stops.

 

We decided we should probably head to Raptor first since...

 

A) Valravn is an Early Entry ride so unlike Raptor we knew we could ride it the next day with no wait

and

B) Do I even need to tell you what b is?

 

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Back to the Main Midway. iphones take abysmal pictures when you use the zoom function, but I was proud of this timing...

Unfortunately for the second time that day, Sky Ride was going down for weather just as we walked up. I swear, Sky Ride and Dragster were just screwing with us that weekend but (as you probably guessed from the spiffy new avatar) we did manage a ride on Sky Ride eventually.

 

Even though Sky Ride was down, we still wanted to ride Raptor so we made our way over and found a 3 train wait for the front row. Raptor was down to one train because of the weather so we did spend a decent amount of time in line but about 15 minutes later I was in my favorite seat (front left - left wing best wing) and ready to go. As we stood in the station, we noticed that the rain was definitely picking up but we managed to get on right before it got to the point of being uncomfortable. As always, Raptor delivered a completely insane ride and the light rain only served to enhance the ride experience. Coming in to the weekend I never thought I'd get to ride Raptor with the limited amount of time we had so we were definitely riding high when we got off.

 

At that point it was raining much harder and we only had about an hour left before the park closed. We thought of leaving, but for some reason I had the dumb idea to ride Valravn on the way out (because riding a 75 MPH dive coaster in the pouring rain is a great idea). I got a message from JRice earlier while he was on break that he was working that night so I guilted Brit into going along with my dumb idea by saying that we needed to go say hi to Josh.

 

We headed up into the station to find the place completely empty aside from the staff. Josh was joking around with us while we waited for the train to come back (they were also down to 1 because of the rain but we were obviously the only people dumb enough to be in line anyway so it didn't matter). Once we took our seats it started raining even harder but we were committed at that point. As we climbed the lift we were getting absolutely pelted with rain and I came to the realization that maybe Josh was trying to do everyone on TPR a favor by drowning us so you guys wouldn't have to put up with my sh*t any more. Oh well... I survived. A**holes never die.

 

I have to say, while parts of the ride were pretty painful since it felt like we were being hit with thousands of tiny needles it was also an awesome experience and a super cool way to end our night. Sitting in the holding break with the floodlights shining up at us was really cool since the rain drops were all illuminated and it created a pretty awesome visual. Once we were released and we started falling at the same speed as the rain drops the visual got even cooler. We knew once we flattened out we were going to be in a world of sh*t but in the moment we didn't care at all.

 

After our ride with the rain showing no signs of letting up and the park closing in about 30 minutes we said goodbye to Josh and headed for our hotel room knowing that we got to do it all again in the morning. While the weather definitely made for an interesting night, we managed to get on a ton of rides in a few short hours and we had an absolute blast of a night at Cedar Point.

 

Up Next: Cedar Point Day Two!

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"This ride is absolutely nuts and I can't for the life of me understand why there aren't more Intamin Blitz coasters in America. God I love this thing."

 

Testify! Hallelujah! Speak the gospel!!! (Coasters are the only religion I practice )

 

Very entertaining report, keep it coming.

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Yes yes absolutely yes on Millennium Force!

 

When they first built that coaster, it was all I heard about, even in general media. I remember a major front page article on it in my state's newspaper, half the country away. All the talk, all the awards...and then after that, more than a decade of enthusiasts talking it down. By time I finally got to the Point two years ago, I'd been well conditioned to accept that it was just a tall, boring, coaster, and that the General Public were just taken in by the numbers and didn't care about the ride experience. Still, I wasn't going to skip riding it entirely, so on I went, didn't bother waiting for the front or anything. It wasn't going to be worth it.

 

HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE. It was insane, just relentless speed, such an incredible flow to the layout. Of course I went back around for the front and EVEN BETTER!

 

 

Then, two years later, going back to Cedar Point a few weeks back, I'm thinking on it and somehow all over again I'm not expecting much. I mean, it probably wasn't really /that/ good, it was just that my expectations had been so low last time, it had seemed better than it really was, right? I could go in expecting to enjoy it, probably a solid 8/10 decent ride?

 

NOOOOOPE. Got off it grinning like an idiot (and with more than one ex-mufflehead exploded on my face). Absolutely 10/10, and one of my favorites anywhere. And yet, I have a feeling when I get back there, I'm going to underrate it again, until I ride it.

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I may disagree with just about everything you said of Legend and Raven, but it warms my heart that we agree so much on Rougarou! It's easily CP's most underappreciated coaster. Great insight on all the parks and rides!

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I may disagree with just about everything you said of Legend and Raven, but it warms my heart that we agree so much on Rougarou! It's easily CP's most underappreciated coaster. Great insight on all the parks and rides!

I loved the layout of Rougarou, but man, that ride bashed my ears in pretty hard (second half, primarily). As the result, I only rode it once on my visit, but I suspect that knowing the layout would help mitigate some of that. I can ride Viper at SFMM without getting bashed too hard now as I know exactly what parts of the track are the roughest. Rougarou's head banging started right after the tilted loop, which is basically a replica of Riddler's Revenge's track, and that ride bashes you at that particular spot as well.

 

MF, for me, was an odd one. I wasn't totally enamored with the ride itself but still appreciated it very much. I actually enjoyed watching it as much as I enjoyed riding it for some reason. There's something to be said for such iconic rides that serve as flashpoints in coaster history. Much of my CP trip felt like a pilgrimage (I never thought I'd make it there), and MF was the manifestation of that.

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I haven't been on a Rock-O-Plane since riding one while stoned out of my mind with friends at the county fair when I was like 17. We kept riding that and the Skydiver over and over again and would laugh until we almost puked.

 

Ahhh...the good ole days.

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Wow, awesome day at Cedar Point! Millennium Force is my absolute favourite steel coaster, and maybe my favourite overall (I really can't decide between it and Outlaw Run--they're both awesome in so many, and so different, ways). It is just the best at what it does. Rougarou is pretty great as well. It definitely suffers from being next to Millennium Force in my book, because as much fun as I was having on Rougarou, Millennium Force is just a few feet away.

 

Thanks for posting so frequently! Looking forward to the next update.

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I haven't been on a Rock-O-Plane since riding one while stoned out of my mind with friends at the county fair when I was like 17. We kept riding that and the Skydiver over and over again and would laugh until we almost puked.

 

Ahhh...the good ole days.

 

That is awesome . . . . riding amusement rides while stoned (maybe being stoned would make Vekoma SLC's less painful)

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I haven't been on a Rock-O-Plane since riding one while stoned out of my mind with friends at the county fair when I was like 17

 

That is awesome . . . . riding amusement rides while stoned

 

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I haven't been on a Rock-O-Plane since riding one while stoned out of my mind with friends at the county fair when I was like 17. We kept riding that and the Skydiver over and over again and would laugh until we almost puked.

When I was in high school in the UK, a town nearby would host an annual carnival — very small, usually just three rides. They'd always have a waltzer, a speedway, and, less frequently, an orbiter, round-up, or a Rock-O-Plane. In the UK, the Rock-O-Plane was often called the "American Egg" — mainly because it had a stars-and-stripes design. Anyhow, we used to ride it drunk and stoned out of our minds as well. I rode the one at Sandy Lake last year for the first time since I was a kid and it was still as freaky as ever. They feel incredibly unstable.

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Thanks for posting so frequently!.

 

Wow, that's not something I ever think bought I'd hear (except out of sarcasm).

 

Also, I love the direction this thread is heading in.

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Alright! Time for the long anticipated* finale of our Mystical Midwest Road Trip 2017 trip report.

(Please note that the term “long anticipated” implies that anyone actually gives a sh*t, a statement that I cannot actually confirm or deny)

 

After finishing part one of this report, I realized that I neglected to mention our weird a** hotel room and felt like I probably should. We never stay on property because it’s expensive and we have Platinum Passes anyway so we don’t need to do so for Early Entry. In addition, we were really only making this trip to begin with because we had a metric f*ck ton of Choice Rewards points so we were sticking with Choice which meant we needed to head over the causeway and out to Milan Rd / 250 which is the main drag in Sandusky.

 

Since we left before closing we considered stopping in to one of the local spots like Thirsty Pony or Chet & Matt's since we’ve still never been to either of them but since we were completely soaked from our Valravn rain ride and subsequent walk to the car we decided to grab something and eat in our hotel room instead so we could change and dry off a little. As a side note, I’m also completely skeptical of Chet and Matt’s and wonder if it’s actually good, or just good for middle of nowhere, Ohio but since I haven’t tried it I’ll keep my pizza snobiness to a minimum. It’s hard to be snobby about anything when I’m about to tell you about this hotel that we actually slept in

 

When paying for hotels we usually splurge a little more now and try to travel like respectable adults since we earn so many points for our stays, but when actually using those points we revert to our old ways of staying in weird a** joints like the Sandusky Econo Lodge.

 

When we walked in to the office (notice I didn’t say lobby) we were greeted with a small room about the size of a bathroom with a tiny desk and 2 women sitting behind it… one of which never actually spoke and just sat there petting her cat Dr. Evil style.

 

Behind them there were a few loud a** washing machines running full blast and another cat sleeping on top of one of them.

 

The woman handed me my card and told me to go to room 102… and then excitedly said “No… TWO-02!!!” and told me I was upgraded to the suite for being a Choice Privileges member. We walked back to the car and drove around to the back (per their instructions) asking ourselves how the hell this place even had a suite and if “202” meant it was upstairs since we couldn’t figure out how this place even had an upstairs. We rounded the corner and (after coming face to face with a huge gargoyle since it backs up to the Mystic Manor Thrill Center, whatever that is) we found a small door which led us through a cramped hallway, past some more dryers and up the stairs to the suite.

 

The suite itself was super weird, it kind of seemed like at one point it was an apartment for the guy that owned the hotel but it was sort of okay. The floor was creaky as hell, the bedding looked like it was straight out of 1975 and the room was unnecessarily large with 2 couches (don’t get excited, they were super old and sh*tty) in the living area and beds way over to the side. The entire room featured beat to hell orange shag carpet. I don’t know if I’d say this place was necessarily bad, but it was probably the weirdest hotel room I’ve ever seen in my life and it felt like the guy that owned the hotel went on vacation for Memorial Day weekend and told them to rent out his apartment while he was gone and tell people it was a suite because they wouldn’t know any better. It was clean, and it was kind of cool but what the actual f*ck was that place?

 

Anyway, enough about that. We woke up Monday morning in our weird Airbnb style hotel room and looked out the window to find something astonishing. Sun! And Blue Sky! Shocked at this incredible weather phenomenon that we were starting to think only happened in movies and in picture books we got up, headed back over the causeway and got ready for another great day at Cedar Point.

 

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Good Morning from Cedar Point! Home of some of America's best coasters and this piece of sh*t too!

We had a clear plan going in to Early Entry and it’s a plan that would make most enthusiasts cringe because it’s strategically terrible so I’ll share it with you just because I can’t help myself. Since we had already had some great rides on Millennium Force and Maverick and since we knew we wanted to save Millennium Force for our last ride anyway, we figured we’d ignore the Intamins and focus entirely on the B&M’s for the duration of Early Entry.

 

We walked down to the marina gate and made it just as the National Anthem started playing, so when the gates opened we were in a great position to beat the crowd to Valravn. We had ridden Valravn the day before but we really wanted a ride where we didn’t have to deal with pelting rain so this was definitely a priority for us. Within 5 minutes we were back in the station and in line for the front row. The groupers on the ride always seem to accommodate requests when possible which is nice and between the great operations (obviously since Josh was back at the panel in the morning since he never sleeps… like ever) and super-wide trains the front row line absolutely flies. In no time at all we were all clear, out of here and on our way up the massive lift hill.

 

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It's a great day to dive!

I have to say, this ride really is excellent. The view from the top of the lift is breathtaking (possibly the best in the park), the dives themselves are great and I love that barrel roll at the end of the ride. I know a lot of people are underwhelmed by modern B&M’s but we really love Valravn and it really was a perfect addition to Cedar Point’s already stacked lineup.

 

After our morning dive we headed over to Gatekeeper for the rest of Early Entry. Since we were leaving at 4:00 (since we had to drive back to New York that night) we knew Early Entry was our best chance to get some rides in since we wouldn’t be around late enough to take advantage of the short late afternoon lines it usually gets. We also wanted a ride on Maxair and (since we had the same issue there) we figured we could get in line a few minutes before 10:00 and score a walk-on there also.

 

The plan worked out really well as we managed two awesome front seat Gatekeeper rides (god I love that thing) and ended up on the first Maxair ride of the day. After getting to ride two of these things that weekend my mind is absolutely blown by the fact that there aren’t more Huss Giant Frisbees in America. They’re amazingly powerful, fun and overall kick a** rides and every time we ride them we have an absolute blast. Every Frisbee ride is good, but these things are a special kind of awesome. Aside from maybe “It” in Wildwood (simply because of it’s lap bars and coked up ride cycle) Maxair is definitely my favorite Frisbee style ride by a wide margin.

 

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Gatekeeper being awesome

After Maxair (and a quick pit stop at the food place by Gatekeeper to take advantage of Cedar Fair’s cool new drink cup plan) we decided it was finally time to stop dicking around with these B&M’s and flat rides and ride a ride that’s awesomeness was truly fitting of the only park douchey enough to ever refer to themselves as “The Amazement Park”. We love Gatekeeper, Maxair and Valravn but we wanted amazement dammit and amazement we would get…

 

Nobody was even fooled by that setup were they? I feel like everyone’s on to me by now… I need to up my game. Anyway, Sky Ride has it’s typical full queue but a full queue is really only a 10 minute wait so we were more than happy to wait it out and take a nice leisurely ride to the middle of the park. Thanks to the crazy amount of rides we had the previous day we were actually pretty relaxed and were sort of going at our own pace with no real plan (as evidenced by our completely f*cked Early Entry strategy).

 

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I love this view.

Sky Ride provided a great ride as always and allowed for some nice photo ops while we enjoyed the breeze and fantastic views (Say what you want about Cedar Point, but it’s hard to beat that location). As a nice bonus we ran into blakelemay23 (who was the one catching our cabin). Nice to meet you!

 

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In my natural habitat...

After our ride in the sky we figured it was time to hit the other ride that had tormented us the day before, Top Thrill Dragster. Unfortunately this ride was far from done f*cking with us so after about 30 minutes the ride decided to sh*t itself while we were standing in the sun on the ramp heading in to the station.

 

Any time you get in line for Dragster you know this could potentially happen but it was definitely starting to get a little irritating. We waited for awhile until enough people left that we were almost in the station but at the top of the ramp we found a ride op holding everyone on the ramp making it impossible to ever actually reach the shaded station. Seeing a sliver of shade, everyone pretty much piled in to a tiny spot at the top of the ramp and after about 45 minutes of being way too close to sweaty people and seeing no action at the ride we bailed. Clearly Dragster just wanted to be a dick all weekend

 

After our high octane race for the exit and finally giving up on the 420 foot tower of downtime we decided to hit up a super tall, high speed coaster that actually worked… Magnum. To be fair, “we” didn’t decide on anything, “I” decided to ride Magnum. Brit decided she’d rather die and decided to ride Witches Wheel instead.

 

Brit and I have never agreed on Magnum, ever since I learned the seatbelt trick I’ve loved the ride to death but she still thinks it’s rough and has no interest in riding it. You read that right, the person who’s absolute favorite ride at Kentucky Kingdom is T3 thinks Magnum is rough but who am I to judge?

 

After about 30 minutes of standing in the Magnum queue, staring up at Dragster and thinking “that f*cking thing better not launch now that we bailed” I reached the station.

 

I was honestly pretty torn when I got up there. Part of me wanted to go to 1:3, but since I was a single rider I knew there was a really good chance that if I did that I’d wind up sitting with a pain in the a**, socially awkward coaster enthusiast who would dork out about coasters the entire time we were in line and possibly throughout the ride (why do they always do that? Lol). On the other hand I wasn’t wearing any coaster stuff so I figured if that did happen I could just pretend I knew absolutely nothing about coasters and completely ignore them.

 

Against my better judgement, I got in line for 1:3 and within minutes I heard someone walking up behind me saying “Ah so you’re waiting for the EJECTOR SEAT” are ya?”.

 

 

 

 

… f*ck

 

I pretended not to hear him but eventually turned around and saw a guy in a tie dyed Ghostrider shirt with a Cedar Point sunglass strap who immediately asked if I saw what RMC was doing to Mean Streak and how tall I thought it was going to be… then before I could answer he said he heard “The GP” saying they were tearing it down and he couldn’t believe they didn’t notice all of the new track.

 

Why anyone would walk up behind a complete stranger who wasn’t wearing any coaster stuff (I had actually worn a Dollywood hat to the park but I had it in my pocket since they don’t have bins) and assume they would know what any of that sh*t meant is beyond me.

 

Despite how I come off, I like talking coasters with other enthusiasts sometimes as long as they shower regularly, have some basic social skills and don’t take themselves too seriously and walk around like they’re better than everyone else because they know who RMC is. I could tell pretty quickly that this guy was THE WORST kind of enthusiast as all he wanted to do was complain about “the GP” so I made it my business to do everything I could possibly do to piss him off with "GP" questions before the ride started.

 

I said that I wasn’t sure what RMC or Mean Streak was and explained that I was riding alone since my wife and kids (lol) were afraid to ride it since they heard that “this one had an accident a few years ago”. He immediately felt like it was his duty to inform me that the accident took place on the brakes and wasn’t a big deal but I just went on to say that they didn’t want to ride “The Raptor”, “The Big Swing” or “The Water One” (of course referencing Shoot the Rapids) either because they had accidents too but I figured it looked fun so I wanted to ride it since we could see it out of the hotel window (and then proceeded to point to some room we can’t afford in Hotel Breakers).

 

This of course set him off on a 5 minute long speech that I could easily tune out as long as I occasionally dropped in an occasional “yup” or “oh okay” which made the rest of the wait a lot more entertaining. Finally the train pulled up, we got in and I proceeded to ask him “If this one was scary” just in time for the loud ass lift hill to drown out his inevitable long-winded answer.

 

As for the ride itself, it was awesome as always. The ride is definitely a bit rough, but the awesome views and tremendous airtime more than make up for it. I know this ride has plenty of haters, but I’m a big fan of it.

As we pulled back in to the station I took off as quick as possible and (thankfully) didn’t see that guy for the rest of the day.

 

After Magnum we were definitely running short on time but we figured we had time for a few quick rides before heading over to Millennium Force so we scored a quick lap on Gemini (of course sitting in separate trains on the inside track so we could slap hands… Brit’s train crushed ours by the way) and a quick ride on Skyhawk on the way. I’m a big fan of both of those rides and an even bigger fan of the fact that they rarely ever seem to have lines. We wanted to ride Maverick but it was posting a 120 minute wait so instead we decided to head down Frontier Trail and end our weekend with a bang (or a rattle depending on who you talk to) on Millennium Force.

 

The wait time was posted at about 90 minutes so we were definitely doing some clock watching while in line but in the end the fact that we had an 8 hour drive ahead of us was never going to deter us from getting one last ride on Millennium Force no matter how long it took.

 

When we reached the station I did briefly consider riding in the back so we could get on the road, but (because I can’t help myself) we decided that another 30 minutes was a small price to pay for ending our awesome weekend with a Millennium Force front seat ride.

 

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No f*cking will power... none

The anticipation kept building and after what seemed like an eternity we finally boarded the front row. I swear, no matter how many times I ride this thing it always feels like my first time ever riding it. As always, by the time we hit the brakes we were absolutely speechless. The drop is great, the overbanks are great, the speed is great, even the lift hill is great. This ride is absolutely world class and it was the perfect way to end a perfect weekend.

 

… well okay, maybe not the “perfect” way, but the “perfect” way was down for wind on our way out so it would have to do

 

Up next: Our June trip to Universal Orlando, Sea World and Busch Gardens Tampa!!!

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