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Long Knott's Scary Farm Trip Report with Pics

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The playas: Melissa (moi), Christine, Anne, Kim, Megan, Andy, Destiny, Celia, Wade and Luke


When: Saturday, October 8, 2005


Our (Christine, Anne, Kim and I) evening began with a delicious dinner at La Tolteca, a fine Mexican restaurant, where we feasted on cheese enchiladas and beef tacos. Christine and I are doing this special diet, where we are trying to eat less carbs, so we had to pass on the chips, rice and beans! We also wanted to save ourselves for the wonder that is fried cheese that they serve at Knott’s.


It took us forever to get to Knott’s. I do not understand why there was so much traffic on a Saturday night, but it worked out well because everyone else was coming all the way from Big Bear and they ended up arriving 45 minutes late. We always park in the Movieland Wax Museum parking lot and meet at Starbucks. It is free to park there and easier to get in and out of. We have parked there for the last 8 years, and though I always worry, the cars are never towed nor ticketed. It is also much easier to meet at Starbucks then at Knott’s, as the crowds are insane at the entrance.


At about 7:45 we all met up and headed towards the entrance. Of course the crowds to get in are crazy, as they metal detect everyone. I must say that we felt really old. We are all in our 20s to 30s and still enjoy KSF, but it is clear that it is for a younger crowd. It took us about 15 minutes to get in and then we ventured through Ghost Town.


It was pretty fun because 2 of the girls in our group had never been and had no idea how scary it would be. My friend Anne, who has been many times, got scared and head butted me. To get her back I punched her in the stomach and she started spewing blood from her mouth. OK, I made that up.


We decided to do mazes, as rides were not that important to us. Here are our experiences:


-Crowd control, like pretty much all other guest services, sucks at Knott’s. We constantly had to fight people off from trying to cut in line. It is really frustrating.


-There was the absolutely worst smell ever near the scrambler. I have no idea what it was, probably sewer problems, but it made you almost gag. It is the worst smell I have ever encountered, and I am a nurse, so that is saying something!


-I’m probably going to stomp on all the women’s lib people, but the girls working at KSF just are not scary. I think that it is because most of them are scantily clad and just not as into it. We have all noticed this throughout the years. I am hopeful that some of the actual scary monsters are so concealed that you can not tell they are women. I hope so. Also, please take the feathers away from them.


-Maze Ranking:


1. Asylum-Just freaky and really disorienting.

2. 13 Axe Murder Manor

3. Red Beard’s- I love pirates so this is a given.

4. Terrorvision- Not scary, but fun to walk through.

5. Clown/Bathroom Jokes Maze- Seriously, what do vomit, diarrhea, butts with green stuff coming out of them and toilets have to do with clowns and space?

6. Feary Tales – Although the monsters cracked me up in here. They were all talking to us.

7. Hatchet High – I know a lot of people rave about this maze, but we thoght it sucked, as it has previous years. All of the monsters are just standing around. The best scare was after you exited the ride.


- Best food item of the night has to go to Fried Cheese. This is my favorite thing about Knott’s. Fried food is the best. I am going to write the Food Network and try to get them to let me host a show all about fried foods or maybe factories. I will also note that the line to get this at Strictly on a Stick took about 30 minutes! All of the food lines were insane most of the night.


All in all, we had a great time and I love Knott’s Scary Farm! We did not go on rides, but instead spent a lot of time just walking around and hanging out, which is better than half the rides at Knott’s anyway.


When I look at this picutre now, I think to myself, "Why would I out a Knott's hat on my head?" I scrubbed my head for 30 minutes after.


You would assume there were going to be a lot of clowns in here. Lottle do you know the theme is teenage boy humor with lots of fart and toilet jokes.


He has no idea that NOTHING comes between me and my fried cheese.


Did anybody else find it odd that a bunch of the monsters were wearing glittery shirts? It worked, because men in glittery shirts scares the crap out of me.


Freaking Knott's version of 'Ranch' Fries.


That's what I'm talking about.


The real reason to come to Knott's: Fried Cheese


Celia fakes being scared after Hatchet High.


The. Worst. Smell. Ever.


I plan to work in the horror film industry if the whole nursing thing doesn't work for me.


This is what you do in line in between fighting off all the teenage cutters.


Kim says she'll Starbuck me anytime.


Anne and Christine Starbuck it up.

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Awesome TR. I was just in So Cal this past weekend, and we thought about doing Knott's but decided Disney was the way to go for both days. Sounds and looks like you all had a blast. Knott's Scary Farm is definitely something on my radar screen one of these days.


Oh, and men in glittery shirts scare the crap out of me too. Unfortunately it's pretty much a daily occurrence in San Francisco.


By the way, since you're a nurse... any idea what I should be doing for an injured hamstring?



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