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Post your favorite Monty Python quotes


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  • 1 year later...

''don't worry love, i'll have your spam, i love it. im having spam, spam ,spam ,spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam and spam''

 

''baked beans are off''

 

''can i have spam instead?''

 

''what? spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ,spam, spam, spam and spam''.

_____________________

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This parrot is no more, it has ceased to be, this is an ex-parrot.

 

Do you think this scene should of been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it but now we're glad.

 

peasent: At leas our scene was committed it wasn't just a string of p&*sy jokes.

 

everyone: get one with it.

 

The whole thing in the credits of Holy Grail about Llamas

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  • 3 months later...
  • 4 years later...
I have so many, but here is one:

 

"When suddenly, the animator had a fatal heart attack-"

 

*falls back in chair*

 

"And the beast was no more."

 

Please stop bumping four year old topics! Bumping one here and there is not a big deal, but you have been bumping multiple dead threads in the last 24 hours. You do not get a medal for post counts on this forum, so posting this many times in a short period of time is not necessary. Besides, your posts are borderline "posting for posting sake" which is against the site's TOS and could lead to a temporary ban on your account.

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Well, now that it's here, here's mine:

 

Brian: What have the Romans ever done for us?!

Person: Umm, well... The aqueduct.

Brian: Besides that, what have the Romans ever done for us?!

Person: Public sanitation?

Other Person: The Roads?

Person: National Security?

Brian: Well, besides that...

 

Right up there with the french guards.

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Black Knight: I move for no man.

Arthur: So be it.

[sword fight between Arthur and the Black Knight starts. Black Knight takes a swing, blocked by Arthur, who proceeds to cut his arm off]

Arthur: Now stand aside worthy advisory.

Black Knight: Tis but a scratch.

Arthur: A scratch? You're arm's off.

Black Knight: No it isn't.

Arthur: Well what's that?

Black Knight: I've had worse.

Arthur: You liar.

Black Knight: Come on ya pansy.

[Fight continues, Black Knight charges at Arthur. Arthur swings sword and cuts Black Knight's arm off.]

Arthur: Victory is mine. We think thy Lord, that in thy merc...

Black Knight: Huh [kicks Arthur over. Kicks him on ground.] C'mon then.

Arthur: What?

Black Knight: Have at you.

Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh? [prancing around Arthur.]

Arthur: Look you stupid b***ard, you've got no arms left.

Black Knight: Yes I have.

Arthur: Look.

Black Knight: Just a flesh wound. [Kicks Arthur in the butt.]

Arthur: Look, stop that!

Black Knight: Chicken. [Kick.] Chicken.

Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg.

[black Knight goes to kick him, Arthur swings sword and his leg comes off.]

Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that.

Arthur: You'll what?

Black Knight: Come here.

Arthur: What you gonna do? Bleed on me?

Black Knight: I'm invincible.

Arthur: You're a loony.

Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you. C'mon then.

[Arthur swings sword and takes out his other leg, Black Knight falls to ground.]

Black Knight: Alright, we'll call it a draw.

Arthur: Come Patsy.

Black Knight: Ohoh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow b***tards, come back here I'll give what's coming to you. I'll bit your legs off.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 years later...

The Witch: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!

Sir Bedevere: But you are dressed as one!

The Witch: They dressed me up like this!

Crowd: We didn't! We didn't...

The Witch: And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

Sir Bedevere: [lifts up her false nose] Well?

Peasant 1: Well, we did do the nose.

Sir Bedevere: The nose?

Peasant 1: And the hat, but she is a witch!

Crowd: Yeah! Burn her! Burn her!

Sir Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?

Peasant 1: No!

Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!

Peasant 3: No!

Peasant 1: No!

Peasant 3, Peasant 2: No!

Peasant 1: Yes!

Peasant 2: Yes!

Peasant 1: Yeah, a bit.

Peasant 3: A bit!

Peasant 1, Peasant 2: A bit!

Peasant 2: A bit!

Peasant 1: But she has got a wart!

Random Person in the crowd: [coughs]

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Arthur: I am your king.

Woman: We have a king? I thought we were an autonomous collective.

Dude: Stop fooling yourself. We are a self-perpetuating autocracy. A dictatorship.

Other Dude: I'm pretty sure we are a narco-syndicous commune.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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